Yesterday everything changed. The visit to the doctor turned into a suggestion from him that instead of waiting for the different procedures to kick in, I begin my treatment right away, and begin by coming to the emergency room this morning (saturday) and going under his care. I had complained of bad stomach cramps,and the doctor said to begin treatment now would stop them. However, the treatment will result in my having to wear an ostomy bag, for at least a while. How do I feel about that? Scared. After all, my body has hardly been touched for most of my life. But I have to do it. The cancer is very real---it prevents a good flow of bowels from coming through, that is all there is to it.
So yesterday, with no warning, I was asked to prepare for spending about 5 days in the hospital. It took me a while to rap my head around it, but I decided this was the best thing to do. Now, with a few hours left, I am just trying to organize the apartment. I did manage to buy Marjorie Morningstar, a novel by Herman Wouk, written in the fifties about an emerging "jewish princess" who dreams of being an actress. Her family has just moved from the Bronx to an apartment on Central Park West, and she is enthusiastic about the move. I think I started this novel when I was about 11, and it was a little over my head. Hopefully I should enjoy it now---will take it to the hospital with me along with Badenheim 39, another novel about Jews in the 30's---this one about a group who visit a resort outside of Vienna to for relaxation, even as the harsh reality of the Nazi advancement is closing in.
Thats all for now---I really did want to write a post right before my hospital stay. Will hopefully resume the blog when I return.
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