the days get....

prettier and prettier. Cityboy's life becomes more complicated and complicated. Received summons to appear at Federal Court for Jury Duty last Saturday---NO NOTICE! Ofcourse it was freak out time.

But today, after all the anxiety, went down and was told that because of my age, it was unnecessary for

me to be there. A lot of Much Ado About Nothing. Still no word from Friends, yet in spite of that feeling very up beat as I sit here working at the library's computer.

Saturday afternoon, in the midst of my gloom, went to South Bronx to visit Mark kamber at Bronx Documentary Project, a very nice guy, nice space, had a good conversation with him; found out that his cousin.Rick is a classmate of mine from Hopkins. I am fascinated by white people, presumably with middle class backgrounds, who decide to live in almost all black and hispanic communities.. Had a long talk with him about that; he also mentioned a close friend around age 50 or so, who has lived down the block from the project all his life. An Irish guy, who has remained very involved in helping the community. Amazing!

Afterwards, took Morris Avenue bus up to Jerome and 175 street, had a much needed Dunkin Donuts coffee and old fashioned donut fix, wandered around a bit and took the 4 to 149th street. Returned home to find in the mail the above mentioned "fraudulent" summons. 

Again the two feelings; incredibly upbeat about the moment, but wondering what will be at Friends. Perhaps the situation will resolve itself, Cityboy really hopes so....

on this beautiful.....

day, cityboy is angry. Just had a student cancel a lesson at the last moment. Not fair! He will pay for it, but it forces me to go into my income, and I had not expected to do so. Naturally, I watch my bank account like a hawk, so this only makes me put more pressure on myself. Yes, he will pay me during the week or next week, but....very disappointed.
Yesterday, went to Assembly's party, very nice, was very welcomed there when I arrived. Good conversations, nice meeting Jo, a comedian whose act I might see on Tuesday, Should check out Littlefields.
Decided to see play at HERE tonight, it creates some structure for the day, and is free, which at this point is very important.
Woke up last night at 3, the usual complaints and rages, worked them through, but feel that I might be at a standstill--your life is interesting now, but...any possibility for improvement...? Not clear, cityboy, anyway, let's get on with the day, will figure out the rest of the activity, before the play tonight.

last night...

attended Adam.s reading; glad that I went, he has really made some significant changes in the play for the better. Great cast---and Marilyn Chris---amazing! just a thrill to watch her endow that material. Today, not much, no work, tonight party at Assembly, should be fun---will continue to read Clea this afternoon, things are stabilizing on the financial level.
This weekend, more tutoring, not sure about the rest of it---probably pizza at South Fourth on Sunday, then usual Sunday trip...we'll see

well, tonight...

we are going to Adam Kraar's reading of his play at Ensemble Studio Theater. Saw a reading of this play about a year and a half ago, and I hope Adam has improved it; anyway, it will be fun to see it and chat with him.
Went to sleep early yesterday, and to my surprise, awoke around 5A.M.---strange that I did not have a waking moment around 2 or three, which is usual for me. Must have been more relaxed then I thought.
This morning, wanted to work--there was none---continuing on my journey with Durrell, now reading CLea, some really amazing writing in the beginning pages---Darley's reunion with Justine---amazing how he really creates the changed perception of Darley. Haunting writing---had visitations of a short story that I might write, characters emerged and promptly expanded, then a phone call (real) asking me to tutor a four year old
(yeah, that is right!) and my reverie, so vital in the Lincoln Center atrium, seemed to disintegrate. Returned briefly as I went to lunch---seems to me the cut between creating and teaching is a vast one, at least for me.
Anyway, austerity budget continues, cityboy determined to save money any way he can (like going to readings, which are free)---next couple of nights pretty well defined---Assembly party on Friday, usual tour of Williamsburg and Bushwick on Sunday, and next Thursday and Friday, going to the "preview" of the avant garde groups at City College Center. Rest of the day will determine itself.....

was Monday's voyage.....

just a dream. Appears so, after a great day at Friends, and a good time attending Arguendo, and its opening night party. As opposed to Monday, Cityboy surrounded  by people. Striking differences. Now a little more relaxed about Friends...things in general  Where do we go from here,,,,not sure...?

as we were saying.....

great place to read, unrushed. Then cityboy travels from Newkirk to Parade Grounds. What does he find.....apartments and apartments that he could have lived in as a boy. Numerous streets where stickball must have been played, mothers sat outside watching their children, all efforts were pointed upward. The history of his childhood, played out in these streets, now nevermore.
Checked on apartment house on Newkirk: all hispanic
Checked another: all muslim (or so I assume)
Still, much gentrification if we looked closely.
Free day, today, completed Mountolive, want to voyage in and around Brooklyn south of the park.
Empire Boulevard, Church Avenue, if we could follow them east, what would we find?
Dried out now....can't put into words what I feel.
Remember Joan Lacey---the eleven year old that everyone worshipped at Camp Towanda in 53?
Once she talked to me---I felt amazed....then she sang at the talent show....
from Moulin Rouge....
Whenever we kiss, I worry and wonder, your lips may be there, but where is your heart.
Then the middle verse:
It is a very sad thing to tell
When we kiss, do you close your eyes,
Pretending I am someone else...I still remember watching her from the back of the auditorium at
camp...where is she now...? Some seventy year old...doing what....?
enough of the past...let's move on.....

cityboy---the wanderer

With a day free, cityboy heads off to Brooklyn for some hard traveling. Back in time...cityboy? For he ends up in the heart of Ditmas Park (Flatabush when you were growing upt, right?) Finds a great new coffee place on Newkirk Avenue, right accross the street from a public school---lots of room great place to read, unrusheيهفغلاخغ

yesterday...

after library, off to Brooklyn, with much time, did some reading of Mountolive at Outpost, then a long walk back to Nevins Street and subway home. Stopped off at "newish" bookstore on Fulton---browsed thoroughly---so many books seemed interesting---of well, have to finish Durrell books first, and they are terrific.
Evening 1. a play called Bad Jews---much praised by critics last year, at Roundabout, hated it---really bad and vicious writing---audience of  course loved it, left feeling angry, wanting to argue with someone about it.
Evening 2. After a slice of Pizza, went to Lansdowne Falls, watched baseball had a beer, bartender Cole, and CC one of the wait staff very warm and cordial to me---made me feel good, interesting that this is a bar with a large turnover, and volume, yet staff, which could be cold and overworked, is always friendly. Getting
to like the place, though price, at this point, is an issue.
This morning--Miguel canceled, but Noagh did not, and we had a good session, then helped the boy who is
staying at his house, Mustafa, the Egyptian, with his test prep. Enjoyed it, even though Mustafa does not pay me, but beginning to see tutoring as a very unselfish act of giving. But where do we go from here....?

beautiful day.....

but still miss going to work---hope that will change soon---cityboy gets up in the middle of the night to calculate his money situation---would like to relax with that...also there is the possibility of looking for work at another school---cityboy is not that anxious to do that, and the work at Friends may come soon and often...but...there is always the possibility that it won't...and then...need to be less passive when it comes to
cash.
Now to last night----went to Two Moons, got to say hello to my friend Siobohan---that was good, may see her in the future, had a nice talk with a teacher whose school is in Sunset Park (did not get the name) also, earlier in the day, bumped into Debbie O, and had a good refreshing talk with her. Left Two Moons feeling up and wanted--a kind of positive energy, did interact there, as opposed to Thalia trivia on Wednesday.
Next few days are pretty well structured---still reading Mountolive--find it quite amazing---very happy I committed to exploring it, can't wait to continue with Clea, which means I won't be reading much of anything else until I complete the two. Free today, until Bad Jews this evening, some tutoring this weekend, also will go to Amoralists on Saturday evening, and of course football and pizza at South Fourth on Sunday, also my usual visit with Susan at Cobra---want to see how her problems at work turned out---wonder if L is still not running from Lorimer to Myrtle over weekend, in that challenged to come up with a new way of getting from
South Williamsburg to Wycoff, though it is really pretty easy, still obsessed with Brooklyn geography, have to voyage on the Ralph Avenue bus at some point.
On Monday I made a contribution to photography studio in South Bronx (they work with neighborhood kids on projects, may decide to visit there today or tomorrow, will let all know.....

cityboy's day

yesterday finally tutored Noagh, also helped the young man, Mustafa, the high school visitor from Egypt, who is spending the year as a guest in Noagh's apartment. Mustafa given an assignment, but not much support, so it seems, from his new teachers. He seems really awed by the work. Will they make some attempt to explain things to him? Anyway, felt good after the session. Planned to go to Pete's Candy Store
for a quizoff, but ended up at Thalia playing Trivia there.
Long three hours----I was the oldest person there. In Brooklyn, I probably would have been welcome to join a group. Here, no one asked me, so I played alone. Surprised, I expected that some middle aged
"eggheads" from the upper west side would make the scene---but no, it seems like Trivia is not attractive to the middle aged west sider (or middle aged person from anywherr in NY,  for that matter). A lot of the questions were beyond my reach, simply categories that I did not know, but undaunted, I soldiered on. MC and his assistant, who will be running the Trivia soon, were very cordial to me, really tried to keep me involved. While there, I was a bit angry, but looking back on it, it was enjoyable. Important that I stuck it out.

 Today, beautiful day, no work, still trying to figure out if a "move" should be made. Sent new lease in;
walked to bank, continues reading Mountolive---really getting a lot out of it, it is the perfect time for me to
be getting involved in the four Durrell books.Would love to stop off at South Fourth on my way to Two Moons, this evening, (even though South Fourth is out of the way, by far) and show bartender Matt a couple of quotes from Balthazar and Mountolive. Not sure if I will do it. Looking forward to walking down fourth avenue in the slope, as I approach Two Moons, always looking for the "mystery" of Park Slope, or perhaps just trying to get in touch with the memories of the past. A few times before, created a short story in my mind, about a widower, around 70, coming to terms with this new freedom after his wife (whom he deeply loved) died. What does he feel. walking down Second Street from Fifth Avenue to Fourth Avenue, as he approaches the newly gentrified 4th Avenue? Interesting idea, as usual, cityboy? But will it go any further?

somehwhat jolted....

by cancellation of tutoring session yesterday; it changed my day---today it is scheduled again, hope that it happens. All sorts of bad breaks yesterday, phone calls not returned, but today seems better.In a more upbeat mood, got a call from producer of The Cheaters Club, today, answered his questions about art and life, got my comp to the play (actually a replacement comp) for Saturday.
Would love to talk to DeBlasio camp about my recommendations for school improvement. Will see if I can make this happen. There is a lot of work that can be done to change the school system. But will they have the imagination to do it?
With commitment to Saturday's performance of Cheater's Club, rest of the week pretty filled out.At least through next Tuesday. Today, will try Quizzoff at Pete's Candy Store--better check the time......

the two worlds....

pretentious title, I know, but it represents my feeling. I read Mountolive with its incredible vision and rhythym, can be easily transfixed, but at the same time I am infuriated when I hear a west side woman claiming she likes the way the city is going at this point, so she will vote for Lhota.
Still, sitting in the coffee place near 125th street reading...wanted to get more and more involved
Yesterday, bank on 125th street, walked to coffee place on Broadway and 148street, drank coffee, read in garden, then walked up to 181 street watched Fort Washington Avenue emerge out of Broadway, then followed Broadway as it moved west, making room for Saint Nicholas and Audubon, and then, I think Wadsworth. Find the architecture in the area very stimulating---long blocks of apartment houses in Washington Heights. Returned to apartment, rested, then went to la Flaca for Trivia---had a decent amount of fun---tonight---not sure. Not sure about the evening....we will see.....

messy outside.....

messy inside----have to structure my own day today----will probably be reading a lot of Mountolive---exactly what I wanted to do, as money arrives tomorrow. Still a little upset re canceling of Thursday assignment at Friends, really wanted to do that one--well it may give a little more stretch in the evening, still see it two ways---can make use of the time when I don't sub, but feel cut out when I am not called. Remember, cityboy, it is very early in the year---so its best to chill out and let things happen. But still a lot of free time on my hands, not the most that I enjoy.
Saturday, helped out at FUREE, did my bit, while others did the heavy lifting, oh well, I am older, you know, then did my "Brooklyn Wandering" bit, walked after Library down Washington until the subway.
Yesterday, a good day, a nice session with Michaela, then off to Brooklyn, a really good conversation with Kathy at South Fourth, then  to Bushwick to hang with Susan, and chat with her about problems at her new internship, then finally back to south fourth---really kept the expenditures low--good job cityboy!
Today, there is always Trivia at La Flaca, should stop by there, (also trivia other places as well) and will probably (as I said earlier) try to read as much of the reflective and romantic Mountolive as I can. Where...?
Not sure...see you later....

just received the news...

that I won't be subbing at Friends on Thursday. Sad, because I had a great day there yesterday. Just goes to show you, that for all the years I have put in, and for my strong identity there, if something goes wrong, I am victimized by it. Hopefully i will get at least one day of work this week. Not much else to say---money down, but should get through it till Tuesday. Spent the day helping out the FUREE move, Akiko, someone helping out ( a young woman0 was difficult this morning, but I did not make a fuss over it. Move proved interesting, I stood around a lot, had a good conversation with another worker called Mark, and finally left after all was completed.
Thursday night, really fun, a very low keyed celebration at SouthFourth---just what I wanted, good conversation and now self-congradulatory moments.
Not much else to say, kind of dampened by recent news---here I am in Brooklyn---not terribly hungry---let's see how I get through it....

so now it has...

happened, the arrival of the birthday. But I am still in "free fall", nothing has changed. Party tonight, hope it is meaningful but low keyed---maybe about 5 to 7 people, many of those I would have invited out of town.
Just finished Balthazar---some very striking passages towards the ending....are they true...? Still trying to figure out the intersection of art and "Politics---Reality" Wasn't it always your dream to lose yourself in the world of art and neglect all others. Then why are you so involved with FUREE, read with passion and think with passion about the Mayoral race and other races in the city?
Tomorrow first day back at Friends, should be fun...the rest....well, let it happen.....

the dreamer and the.....

angry crusader, those are the two sides of cityboy. Last night at Bibaraj party, almost lost it when an "ex-hippy" or the upper west side, told me there were some things she liked about Bloomberg. When I tried to tell her about the law passed by City Council in 2004, she got annoyed and walked away. My belief is that upper west siders, particularly those of my own age, are living in a bubble, uninterested in what is happening in other boroughs. And then listening to the pundits talking about "Change from Bloomberg" never discuss the real estate industry and its hold over our economy. Glad to see that many people are optimistic about
a possible deBlasio mayorality---I am too, though I want to see how he deals with the real estate lobby and their incredible need for power in the city.
Just go another day of work for next week---calm down cityboy.
Tomorrow, party at South Fourth, will it come off...does it matter....? How many plays (or movies) to see in the next two weeks (relax, cityboy). Tonight may do some pre-party checking in, more later.....

a view from.....

where...? Not sure---just sent out e-mails concerning my "birthday party" on Thursday at South fourth.
Good day yesterday, made a few phone calls for Ken B. at his headquarters> Couldn't commit to more--
somehow the whole thing turns me off. Today I could help him---no other structured plans save an eye examination in a few hours. Not sure---maybe go to a bar like Soda, might find some discussion about the race there---or perhaps help out.
Summary of yesterday: South fourth twice (before and after) and Cobra in between. Good conversations, a good way of spending the day, also got some decent walking in---avoided taking "steerage" bus that was
replacing L train by ingenuity--a lot of football, seems like that is all to say, we will see what happens....

the sorrows of....

Cityboy. He planned to see Scarcity tonight, then waited until the morning before reserving tickets, only to find out that there were none left. No tutoring with Miguel today, although I did give him a mini math packet to help him get started, and let him know that I have faith in him. So what is the plan? To see another play with people in it I don't know? To wander through the city tonight, simply looking for excitement. Remember, you are basically a one bar man, cityboy, and if that one bar finds you uninteresting, we are doomed. Well maybe we can change it to two, but seriously, let's consider the options.
Last night, wanted to see Henry's band, but was too tired, went to see Short Term 12 at the Center---a strong movie, a little over the top, but since I did social work, I understood it. Afterwards, tired, returned home---today, have to get some money, then find a place to watch Yankees Red Sox, afterwards have the
book Balthazar, which I really want to read, can you make a night of that, cityboy...?
Also might want to visit some candidates spaces...so you see, options are all over....or are they....?

the weekend...

begins on a promising hope---nice fall weather, a tutoring session ahead, pleased that I handled my money well yesterday, possibly some flyering for Mr. Biberaj.
Yesterday, another afternoon helping at FUREE, good fellowship, went to Brooklyn PL afterwards, then walked down Washington Ave to subway at C Train, took it home. Felt exhilirated crossing Eastern Parkway last night, wanted to take it all in--made up short story about sixth grader visiting from the Bronx in 1955 who gets crush on girl living near the parkway, o fcourse he returns many years later, impossible to mourn the change in the neighborhood, and his feelings for her...? What would she have become. Lost in a kind of space like dream....?
Today, after sesssion, maybe FUREE, want to see my friend perform in Queens venue, will he be able to do it all.....?

so are you Jewish, cityboy...?

Maybe your reluctance to "celebrate" the High Holidays, was the reason for your restless evening last night.
Slept like a long until 2, then woke up and all my troubles (financial) descended on me. Next four hours
full of calculations and plans the deal with financial situation. Oh, Cityboy, when will this come through for you? You're a good man right? Yesterday helped at FUREE, today helped Arlene, later today helped a woman find a topic in the library---this is a good man....right....? But Oy, your financial problems. Maybe by next week they will all be solved, if you get unemployment on Tuesday and your tutoreess return, all should be well. But this weekend...we will see.
Yesterday, after FUREE, walked a bit, a few bites, finally pizza, then to Pacific Standard, a bar you have visited a few times, but really don't frequent. A poetry reading in the back, you contented yourself with a light beer and watched the Yankee-White Sox game for a while, then got really tired. Bartender courteous but disinterested. No conversations, cityboy's speciality. Back to the subway, yet
wanted to stay in Park Slope, feel an endless sense of the "mystery" of the place. As you walk you create this vision in your mind....what...? You and that world go way back---to a time when one would not venture down fifth avenue. But all that has changed now.
Tonight will try to find a bar to watch Yankee game. Most important game of year for Yanks, yet bars will all advertise Football's Opening Night. Well, that is NY in 2013.....later

cityboy just got...

his first subbing assignment at Friends---feeling good about that! Otherwise, basically quiet day yesterday,
"recovered" from very active and interactive weekend. Watched baseball at the bar on 80th and Amsterdam some of the night, actually went in early---today, a different story---not sure what the evening will hold, but will help out at FUREE tonight and probably stay in Brooklyn. Not much else to discuss here today, things basically going well....

feeling cranky....

now, because of one of the comments that I heard on the Lehrer show, but the last two days have been terrific and revealing. Why is it most if not all of the time that I visit South fourth, things go well. Great conversations with Harlo, Shayla (albeit at a different bar) and ALison. Some plans for a very quiet birthday party there. Today no tutoring, just decided to take it easy, no plans, probably no theater tonight. But then what...? A new bar, hang out where I can watch baseball? Not sure---still, the Labor Day weekend is finished, the new world of fall begins....finished Justine yesterday, will try to explore the next,,,everything seems opened at this point.

a long...

night, with a strange dream, I am in a bar, drinking, female bartender, in the back room a father with two young boys one of them (about 2) says something like "Daddy hit me" I am alarmed, leave without paying, take subway to 149 street and concourse---bartender lady gets on, will I have to pay her---try to hide---wake up---strange dream---then a long night with little sleep, I guess you might call it the"long weekend blues". Play last night was very intense, did not know anyone there, left quickly, then went
to Formerly Crows, had a nice time, three women and a man sat next to me, the first woman told me of her travails in Bushwick---they left around time I did, did not want to make another stop, but maybe should have---anyway, am her now---want a "people" day, not an arts one, so no play today, maybe see some of Ballo on film tonight, but should visit South fourth and Cobra today. Hopefully some good contact----one more day to labor day, always an end, very pronounced--cook out at south Fourth should be fun, but then.......let it happen