Wednesday, July 31, 2019

stomach cramps ad nauseum....

caused, I am afraid, by my desiring and ordering a large piece of Cheese Cake yesterday evening at Lansdowne Road, while I was watching the ball games. What happened was that I ordered an avocado salad---so easy on the stomach---really nice---but I wanted to prolong my stay at the bar and I was experiencing a "sugar fit", at least that is what I seemed to feel. So I ordered the cheese cake, it came with whipped cream, which I did not send back, and I ate it with great enthusiasm--why not, since it tasted so good. Then had a nice conversation with another bar patron named Eric, said hi to my friend Mel, the waitress (checking in with her is why I chose to come to the bar in the first place) and decided that since my stomach was "stacked" (at least that is what I felt)  I would attempt to walk home from 44th and 10th, where the bar is, to my apartment in the seventies. No problem, did it easily, it was not until I woke up this morning that I felt the pressure on my stomach, also felt full and bloated. May not take in anything solid at all today.
  All this was compounded by what I like to refer to in my life as a "rough night" that is a night where it was hard to sleep---up a lot around 3 or 4, and hard to just go back to bed. Now I am tired (surprise, surprise) and when my turn at the computer is finished, I will probably simply return to the apartment and try to rest (and cope with the heat).
 The beginning of August, tomorrow, I suppose you might say the "last" month of summer, at least for me. Still struggling with too much time on my hands during the day---lack of sleep does not help---not sure how to solve this problem. Anyway, the rest of the day will be improvised---will check in tomorrow.

Tuesday, July 30, 2019

at the moment...

sitting in the library, I have gotten a "tiredness" fit---that is my body feels like it needs rest. Why? Waking up this morning around 5:15, I felt great, like I could do everything. Is this because I have had very little food, or from just sitting in the library in one position, or because I was failry active so early, or because..well we could go on and on. Anyway, probably will remain at the library work station for a while---then return back to the apartment and see if the rest comes through. This has been the pattern for my "non-structured" summer---rest demanded in the middle of the day, and restless sleep and early rising from the early part of the morning. Well, two months in, August is on the horizon---here we go.
  yesterday, not much to report, a BAN meeting that was not as well attended as the leadership would like, but productive, then simply an ice coffee at the Greek Diner on 23rd and 7th that I always seem to end up in after the meeting.
 The rest of the day is open---might head to East River in the early evening and see if any South Fourthers are there---if not, well I am tempted by the Fiction Center's upstairs bar---it seems to be calling to me. Ironically I had hoped that this summer I would visit and check out a few bars I had been to only once before---like the bar at 7 Greene Avenue (or is it Gates) , or Sonny's in Red Hook (a very welcoming place, but very hard for me to get to) or maybe even Starr Bar in Bushwick And what about cityboy's lust for minor and other city major league baseball---it also seems to have gone by the wayside. Well, my body can only do so much. Let's leave it alone for now---maybe I just need some rest---will report tomorrow.

Monday, July 29, 2019

so I did....

get a ticket to Road Show---awfully glad that I did. I went out of curiosity---I knew that as a piece of musical theater it was flawed, so I went with the idea of listening carefully to Sondheim's input. I think the score is remarkable---very sharp---also the orchestrations were "mind blowing"(can't think  of a better word for it). Cast was warm and committed. Plot weaknesses did not bother me at all---I was not there for that. Left feeling happy, excited to have experienced all the music. In a way Road Show is like Anyone Can Whistle---a flawed work dramatically but containing some brilliant music and lyrics by Sondheim.
  Sunday---had a nice time--did what I needed to do. Went to Cobra in the late morning, said "hi" to my barista friend Olivia (back from vacation)  then had an interesting discussion with Jake, a late thirty something possible playwright and film producer. Suggested a few plays for him to read---one by Wendy Wasserstein and a few by Odets---a playwright whose work I really admire---speaks to me. After leaving and getting a nice salad from the place on Starr and Irving Avenue, visited Molasses, the bookstore in mid Bushwick and then walked to Broadway. There I began my task---walking south on Stuyvesant Avenue from Broadway to Fulton Avenue---part of the route of the anti-gentrification march happening in September. It was hot, and I was sweaty, but I was determined to trudge through it---the twelve or so blocks that I covered are really interesting. At the north end (where I began) is a Nycha project---the Roosevelt Houses, then some private houses that seem afro-american owned, then another NYCHA project of low lying houses called Stuyvesant Gardens, then, at around Madison Street until Fulton, at least six blocks of beautiful brownstones. Really interesting. Arrived at Fulton somewhat tired---jumped on the 25 bus to the Gotham Market (my "home away from home") and spent the next couple of hours watching baseball, and at times, visiting the fiction center located down the block from the market. The fiction center bookstore is incredibly inviting. Everything seems interesting, and there is the bar upstairs, outside--a visited there briefly on Tuesday but did not order anything--seems like a great "date" place---too bad you don't "date" anymore cityboy. Ah, the irony of it! Managed to stay around the area until I was tired. Grabbed an excellent pizza slice from the place on the north side of Fulton near the other bookstore, and then "wobbled" home, very tired. Ah, but it was a good day---I felt very productive.
  Today, nothing until the BAN meeting. Could go to a movie if I wished, and there are many in the city that interest me, but for some reason, would prefer not to. But with the space that is between the time that I leave the library and the time that I take off for BAN, what should I do, and where? The great question. Not sure, will report soon.

Saturday, July 27, 2019

Saturday late morning....

just after a session, trying to figure out how the rest of the day will go. Tonight will be my last chance to see Road Show---two other options---the events by the Domino restoration (movies from HBO) or the Staten Island Yankee game. Will probably go down to city center after this session to see if tickets (cheap) are available for tonight's performance. Still, options in my head....
last night--not much to report---was not feeling good, nevertheless headed down to Standings---pizza (free on Friday) would not feel good in my stomach, which was going through some changes, so I stopped by the Greek Diner on Broadway  near 8th and had a tuna sandwich with...nothing. Still cost me $10.60 before the tip. This is getting crazy---how can the elected officials not be alarmed by this?  Must do something about this--anyway, hit Standings, got my beer, watched a little of the two games that interested me most---then went next door to Burp Castle---completely quiet after the screaming and yelling next door. Could almost hear the silence. Had a nice conversation with my friend Erin who is the bartender there---should visit her a little more frequently. Did not stay too long---was tired and went home.
  Feeling "solid" right now---still budgeting furiously as the summer continues--looks like only one more trip (to DC in three weeks) is possible. But lots to do in the city---just found out about a Diana Sands movie that I might see next Saturday. Loved that woman as an actress---actually met her once backstage at Blues for Mr. Charlie, right after it opened---I went with my two friends from Baltimore---David and Monty. She was reserved but gracious to us. Spoke to Pat Hingle and Al Freeman Jr. also after the play. Remember it well.
  The city is crawling with interesting movies in the next few days (weeks). How many i will get to see remains a mystery---but it is stimulating to think about it, will report soon.

Friday, July 26, 2019

sad and frightening....

and full of anger, after participating in the protest at the former underground railroad site on Duffield Street---it is a small house surround by grotesque high rises--the spirit of the "new Brooklyn" I imagine. Protest was very pasionate---many speakers, mostly afro-american but some white cared deeply about preserving the house. Observing and participating in the chants in the space surrounded by what seemed to be hundreds of high rises made me feel angry---at the brutal aggression of the builders who seem to want every shred of land in Brooklyn that they can find. Is it racist? Of course, these buildings are being built and rented or sold to people who can pay the very expensive rates that these buildings want.  Its also classist; they have definitely created a segregated community.
  I felt a strong need to fight this---but also a real distance from all the "art' that I have been experiencing and talking about here---even the remarkable production of Coriolanus--I simply don't believe there is an intersection between art and activism. It's like a split screen---this morning I read the arts section of the Times and simply considered what movies I would like to see this weekend. So separate. I am also struck by how so many people who pride themselves on being sensitive and intellectual refuse to consider the juggernaut that the real estate industry is, and how it impacts people of color. Looking forward to Monday's BAN meeting, but will it be enough?
  After the march I returned to the Gotham Market, that big space across the street from the BAM Harvey, where there are two bars. Chose the one closest to TFANA, and, after making sure the Yankee-Red Sox game was on, ordered my hummus there. Considering I was in a combative mood, all the wait staff and bartenders were extremely nice to me. But even if I had my Brooklyn Is Not For Sale Shirt on, I did not confront or initiate any conversations about gentrification and the like. Watched the Red Sox build a lead on the Yankees, then went home.
  Trying to figure out the evening's plans (apolitical, you can be sure) just found out the the Staten Island Yanks are playing the Red Sox low A team in a double header. Might be interesting---that is definitely a  possibility. Others---too numerous to mention. Like to ride the Staten Island ferry cityboy? We will see.

Thursday, July 25, 2019

did not get a chance to watch..

the Yankee Twins game last night--La Flaca could not find it on its TV, although the bartender tried hard to find it Strange. Left the place feeling down and a little cheated. Did I want a beer somewhere else? Somewhat tired, but it was only around 9---did not want to return to the apartment (newly cleaned, I might add) so soon. Went to the Delancey Street F and took it to its third stop in Brooklyn, Bergen Street. The idea was to walk south on Smith, until at least the next F station, Carroll Street. And that is what I did, first checking out local 621, the bar on Bergen---but decided not to go in. Thus the journey south on Smith began.
  Smith street was fairly empty---a few couples walking to their houses, and some small groups. Walking on it was almost surreal--a dream like quality---not sure what the street stood for. The area has been highly gentrified in the past 25 years, I remember being a regular at a bar on Court near Atlantic, when Smith street between those two stations was considered a wasteland. Passed about eight bars on my journey, including one right by the Carroll Street station. For some reason, I hesitated to enter--why? It's hard to go into a bar where no one knows you, unless the bar already has a certain resonance for you. Thought of a few bars a few blocks away, but did not want to go off Smith Street. Finally re-entered he subway at Carroll and returned home---grabbed a tasty ice cream at the local grocery store--decided not to go into any bar on 72nd street. Thus ended my night.
  Today there is a protest in Brooklyn this evening that I will attend. It will be over in time for me to watch some of the very important Yankee Red Sox game--not sure where I will go. That is all for now.

Wednesday, July 24, 2019

Coriolanus was magnificent...

One of the two or three best productions I have seen at the Delacorte in the last 20 years. Great acting from Jonathan Cake as Coriolnanus, Louis Cancelmi as Aufidious, and particularly from Teagle Bougere and Tom Nelis as Coriolanus' protectors. Can't get over how good those two were, and how their specific performances really helped the play.
  The play itself I found amazing--really as good as Shakespeare's more famous tragedies. It is really different from anything else that Shakespeare wrote--very few mirror images---very few issues of conscience--minimal monologues.  It stands alone in my opinion, in a very firm way. Really glad that I went---will probably go upstairs in the Lincoln Center library when I leave this computer and try to read some critiques-discussion about it. Ah, Shakespeare is fascinating.
  Notice how "up" I have been feeling all morning. All that I need is a great production of a fascinating play to put me in a great mood. Very different from the mornings after I simply "hang out" at a bar watching sports and eating; then my morning mood can be dark and a little hassled.
. Yet that is what I plan  to do tonight, must watch the Yankee Twins game, which begins at 8. Where? Not so sure, but will do it.
  Not a lot else to say, but should have some interesting ideas and facts to report tomorrow. Will let you know.

Tuesday, July 23, 2019

going to see Coriolanus tonight...

went down to the Public and picked up a voucher that guarantees me a seat for tonight. Pretty easy process, as everyone waiting for the lottery was able to secure a space. Looking forward to it---will be the second production of this play that I have seen at the Delacorte--the first was in the summer of 65--it starred Robert Burr, with a smaller role played by James Earl Jones. Not a great time for me, I was recovering from the horrible year at Yale, and the even more horrible rejection by J....in a very sad place. But that was a long time ago---can remember the feeling of sadness or dislocation that I felt at that time. It wasn't until November of the year that I was able to pull things together and take myself to the next phase in my life. Milton Katselas, the acting teacher whom I was studying with at that time was very helpful. Working at as caseworker at the Tremont Department of Welfare---well many stories to tell, perhaps some other time to remember it. But tonight I return to the play---and the Delacorte feeling much stronger (elated, perhaps)
  Last night, attended the BAN meeting, there were only three of us, Imani, the leader, Mike, who works with FUREE and myself. And yet we got a lot done ---much discussion and planning around the march---Imani had the strongest ideas---I was happy to chime in a bit when needed. I also presented my City Council person district for the march---which also generated some discussion.
 After that, was tired, but did not want to return home. Went to the bar nearby, had a beer ($7.00---kind of expensive) but watched much of the Yankee game, which was the reason that I was there. Really enjoyed the "drama" of the game, in which the Twins showed that they are a match for the Yankees---a "statement" game for the Twins if there ever was one---will be interesting to see how the final two games of the series play out--even if going to Coriolanus mean missing most of the game. Yes, I really enjoy watching baseball on a good bar screen.
  I have one more story in Deborah Eisenberg's recent collection to read---should do it soon---I have a new respect for her, after reading the other five stories in the collection. Also reading Appointment in Saamarra by John O'Hara---wow! the man could really write---tough acerbic writing---hard to put down. And then there still is Summer In Williamsburg by Daniel Fuchs, written in the early thirties. Hard to read large chunks, but some of the smaller "chunks" are kind of brilliant. Have renewed the book for a few extra weeks---the volume is large, so I can't take it around---have to read it in the apartment, so probably will go slowly for the next couple of days.
  That's all for now--will report on Coriolanus and everything else next time...

Monday, July 22, 2019

getting through the weekend....

was not too difficult--did some interesting things in spite of the intense heat.
  Saturday--after the library returned home, then off to the Dive on 106th to watch the Yankee game--another not very interesting game dominated by the Yankees. On Saturday afternoon the Dive at that address is a good place to watch a game, but again, no one was very friendly--finally left and returned home. Then off to Medicine for Melancholy at the Walter Reade---the first movie that Barry Jenkins made--the story of two black professionals in their 20's recovering from a one night stand. Really enjoyed it--I found it much more open and freewheeling then Moonlight. Jenkins did the screenplay for this as well---that could be one reason it has more energy. A large crowd there, mostly white, enjoyed the movie---I was pretty tired at that point, but going home was not an option---I simply would not do it. Jumped on a bus going to the east side  (66th street crosstown) and took it to 68th and second. Then walked for about 15 blocks---felt pretty good, it was not too hot. The east side was kind of "normal" that is restaurants and bars filled, lots of couples both young and old were walking around. As I walk there, I see the old tenements, back when (even before I was born), the area east of third was a bit of an Irish shanty neighborhood. I remember crossing third when I was six or seven on my way (with one or both parents) to the Jan Huss playhouse, there to see my Saturday afternoon Gilbert and Sullivan program. On the way back, occasionally would see a man (white) lying in the street---I guess by today's standards the neighborhood might be called "sketchy"---very unlike today, but these old buildings, which often to me seem out of place among the luxury buildings, bring back a certain kind of nostalgia and sadness for a different time. Anyway, the walk was productive, I thought that I would end up at the enormous Barnes and Noble on 86th, but found a nice and large coffee place on second and 82nd, and stayed there and read for a while.
   Sunday, overcame my fears that the subway would stop running if I went to Brooklyn, and headed for the Gotham Market, had my ice coffee and the bartender was nice enough to put on the Yankee game for me. Had a nice talk with  gentleman who, with his wife, was looking to move to the area--he was five years older then myself, but a baseball fan, so we had a decent amount to talk about. Always enjoy sharing fifties baseball trivia with someone "close" to my age.  When it was over---decided against a movie---spontaneously took a Halsey Street bus through Bed-Stuy (beautiful brownstone streets) and got off on Broadway. Could have gotten on the J and taken it back to the city, but some part of me, in spite of the heat, desired to walk and explore, and so cityboy followed Broadway to it merge point with Eastern Parkway and Fulton Street--called the junction, and hung around there. Loved the walk, always fascinating to see that the brownstones stretch even to the eastern part of Bed-Stuy---then a little exploring around the somewhat barren stretch the surrounds the train station which bonds the A, J, and L. Lots of people pouring out of the station into the heat around 6 o'clock. Thought I might check in at La Flaca after that, but then after the walk, the fatigue set in. and figured it was best, just to take the A and C back to the upper west side.
  Today, just the BAN meeting around 7---did my homework for them about the different City Council districts the BAN september anti-gentrification march would cover--anxious to  present my findings, will report soon.

Saturday, July 20, 2019

never did get to Brooklyn...

on the subway at &2nd and Broadway, the trains were stopped. At that point (before the major announcement that the numbered trains were not running) it seemed impossible for me to join the ice cream protest. Sorry, I would have really liked to go---will find out about it on Monday. Instead, well, I toyed with the idea of trying to get into Coriolanus in the park, but honestly, walking on 80th street from Amsterdam to Columbus proved and incredible challenge. Why? Maybe I was tired, but the heat was overwhelming. It was almost impossible to move. So what did I do? Well, I was determined to be in a place where I could watch the Yankee-Rocky game, so I did get on the subway at 81st and Central Park West (kind of crowded as you may have imagined), and got off at 50th street---then walked to Lansdowne Road where I knew the game would be on. It was, I settled in and had a beer, and later a large portion of French Fries. Sadly though, I did not really have a good time--the game was slow, and no one around me started a conversation. Maybe I lie to myself with the idea that just watching a ball game is good for me. The bartender was nice, though, and I stayed for about an hour and a half---returned home very tired. Slept quickly, then got up around 12 to get an orange juice (I was feeling dehydrated) and returned to the apartment. Woke up this morning, feeling a little "disgruntled" but did go to the nearby hotel for coffee and struck up a truly interesting conversation with a visiting guest, somewhat close to my age. We may meet again for coffee same place tomorrow. He was interested in the history of certain neighborhoods (his parents were raised in Park Slope when it was working class Italian and Irish)  and I was certainly able to give him all the information on the changes in that area (and some others) that he wanted. One of cityboy's specialties.
  Today, still lots of decisions to make. Would love to go to Brooklyn but, even though the subways are running without incident, always the possibility of a break down either before or during a return to Manhattan. So will probably stay in the neighborhood---some movie choices including one that sees interesting make by the director of the much praised Moonlight, before he did that. Trying to keep cool--the heat really grinds at one as one walks in the sun. So will report on whole trip soon.

Friday, July 19, 2019

Friday morning...

getting ready for "the heat"---this weekend, beginning in a little while, is supposed to be one of the hottest the city has ever experienced. Where does that leave you, cityboy? Well, lots of options, and the libraries have good air conditioning. Movies..? Maybe--this afternoon there is a free one from 1950 at the library on 96th Street between Park and Lexington. Might go there. Tonight there is a rally in Brooklyn in front of a beloved ice cream store that has served the community for 35 years, but is threatened with eviction by its landlord. Will go---want very much to participate in that---but have to make sure that the subways will not be crippled by the heat wave. Otherwise, might go into Brooklyn earlier, but at this point, it is best to stay in Manhattan until around 5.
  The ice cream store is in Flatbush, the area directly south of Eastern Parkway, an area that fascinates me. As I have said many times, if my parents were teachers Brooklyn, instead of in the Bronx, it is possible that that area would have been my home. As it is, the neighborhoods in Brooklyn, like the immense one in Flatbush would have been mostly Jewish, kids playing stick ball on the street, talking about the Giants and Dodgers, all encouraged by their parents to be upwardly mobile. Where are those kids today? In the suburbs? The West Side..Park Slope,,,Cambridge..? They did well. And you, cityboy..? Scuttling along on your controlled 'vision"? Where are you in this equation? Well, you have your memory, if nothing else.
  Looked in the mirror at my reflection a few minutes ago---shocked at how "elderly" I looked, could not believe this was the person who thinks and feels out of my body. Probably I am being a little tough on myself, but it was kind of startling.
 Last night---did go to a movie---Rojo, a very intense piece about fascism coming to Argentina in the mid seventies. A kind of controlled brutality moves through the movie---I left feeling a little brutalized--disappointed in what..? Did I want something less cynical--this movie makes it clear that the bourgeois cooperated or at least was passively complicit in the takeover by the authoritarian government at that time. Returned home around 9---decided that I was too tired to hit a bar---and just remained there for the rest of the evening. Woke up on a kind of downer---remember, cityboy, you always feel better if you spend most of your evening away from the apartment.
  Just got my second ticket for my DC trip in four weekends. Should be fun---will see my friend Bob
from high school on the Sunday, Saturday, I guess I am on my own. On my own in Washington DC/
Interesting-well, we will see.

Thursday, July 18, 2019

Thursday morning...

kind of tired---ended up last night at La Flaca---had a nice conversation with Bob, the owner who has been my friend for what will be 19 years in September. Does not seem like a long time ago, but was--I was still doing most of my subbing in the public schools then. The Yankee game was "rained out"--called in the midst of brilliant sunlight but with high storm expectations. I never saw that before, but sure enough, it rained heavily for most of the evening--the game surely would have been called or postponed into the next millenium. Today a doubleheader (yes, a real one) at 3---don't know if my body is ready for that trip--will just let it happen---sometimes I think it would be better just to check out a movie near me. Doubleheaders: I can remember them back to 1951 (labor day---Gaints vs. Phils). Growing up, doubleheaders were the norm---they would begin around 2, and usually we would be home around 7 or 8. A long journey. Anyway, jumped on the F and took it to Broadway-Lafayette, then decided to get off and go back into the street. Thought that maybe I would walk to the Film Forum, but it was raining heavily, so I just stayed under some construction and watched the people near by, grab their ubers or regular taxis. Felt mellow. Finally returned to the D, then got off at 7th avenue--that was a mistake--the next D was not scheduled to arrive for 25 minutes. Went up into the street (climbed four flights) and walked in the rain to 57th and 8th--then descended into the subway again for the ride home. No wonder I am tired now. Lots of climbing yesterday.
  Still not sure what the plan will be for the rest of the day. The weekend is a little clearer with the action outside the ice cream shop Scoops in Flatbush for tomorrow evening. Can do what I like on Saturday. Two more stories in Ms. Eisenberg's book of semi-novellas---can't just jump at them, because emotionally they do take their tole. That's all for now---will report soon.

Wednesday, July 17, 2019

"aint if awful the heat"...

that is a quote from Langston Hughes, from his libretto for the opera Street Scene---can't help but think of this now, as the Wednesday morning heat seems almost unbearable. What to do>>? Very few cooling places on the upper west side---the library has strong air conditioning, as does the atrium, where I might head, but very little else. If I want to read in the afternoon, will be tough to find a place.
 Yesterday, attended a coming out for my good friend Sarah's husband Alex for a novel that he has written at Greenlight bookstore in Fort Greene. Did not expect the bookstore to be as crowded as it was---had to stand---not that difficult, but I expected a more "intimate" group. Alex read, then was interviewed, then questions. I hope to read the book at some point. Did not get a chance to chat with Sarah, then made my way to the Gotham Market, where Trivia was in session. Did not participate.
Walked around a bit, waited until hunger set in, then went to the bar adjacent to the market and had hummus while I watched the Yankees go deep on a Ray relief pitcher to take over the baseball game.
   Fairview, which I had seen a week and a half ago was letting out, and just by accident I had two interesting conversations with two actresses from the play who were staying around for a drink.  I did not express my frustration with the playwright's vision to either, but both conversations were kind of vivid--interesting that I am capable of just making something like that happen---like that.
 Today, no plans yet---do I want to try to see Coriolanus tonight---probably will not have trouble getting in---going to be kind of hot, or do I....well, you know the plentiful options that cityboy find available to him.
  Another trip to Baltimore..? Not likely, due to my financial set up, am planning one to DC in mid August. Also, reading some excellent short stories by Ms. Eisenberg, from her latest group of them. Was skeptical at first---I saw her as simply representing a "privileged white liberal" class, but her stories have vision and power. I was moved by one which beautifully expresses the gap between the parents and children of my generation (I would say between ages 65-80)---will probably finish them off today---will report soon on this and my "adventures" of the night.

Tuesday, July 16, 2019

the more I think of it...

the happier I am that I ventured to Baltimore this weekend. What an explosion for my imagination. Wish that I could take more trips like that this summer, but will have to settle for the one to Washington in August, and maybe one to Philidelphia  in the beginning of August> Why? Love watching the way cities function. That's all, cityboy---the incredible flow of people---the racial divisions--the "playgrounds for the new young people" trying to understand the meaning of race and privilege in each city. Yes, I am enthused with the possibilities of travel--yet now I feel there is so much going on here in NYC. Attended the BAN meeting last night---not that many people there, but we discussed some important topics---there will be two actions this week, the first, on the fifth anniversary of the "death" of Eric Garner, is a protest tomorrow---might be a little too heavy for cityboy, but the second on Friday early evening--a protest to save a favorite Carribean Ice Cream Store that is being forced out in Flatbush, I will definitely go to.
  Not much else to report---after the meeting I "stuffed" myself with a cheese danish from the Greek diner on 23rd street---should not have done it; I am still dealing with the after effects of that, and then, tired, returned home. Of course, did not sleep well---but here I am---making it through. Tonight, after a session will go to the Green Light Bookstore on Fulton in Brooklyn and attend  reading of  a novel that Alex, the husband of my friend Sarah, has written. Afterwards, maybe we will all go "hang out". and I can discuss with Sarah (and possibly some others) my feelings about Fairview. Well we will see.
That is all for now, will report tomorrow.

Monday, July 15, 2019

back from Baltimore...

and I have to say it was an incredible trip! Just what my imagination needed---another place and society to consider and think about. What is Baltimore? The city of tremendous poverty and danger for those living in the neighborhoods where this poverty exists. But the part of Baltimore I visited---mostly from the train station going south to almost the inner harbor, was placid. Moving south from the train station, one finds about seven or eight streets mostly of brownstones and medium size apartment houses that seem very well maintained. Soon one approaches Peabody, the music institute that is part of Hopkins. Not that many people on the street, yet a true feeling of calm and rest emanates from the area. Then further south towards the inner harbor one finds office buildings for corporations and the city, but to my surprise, near Baltimore Street, many converted office buildings now offering "luxury apartments". Also several new buildings offering the same. How is it when the reputation of Baltimore as a "safe city" seems fairly low, builders are building like made in the area and creating a glut of "luxury apartments"?  Are young business people and artists flocking to Baltimore because of its lower cost of living?  Certainly this is class separation---as if the city is trying to create a neighborhood of only luxury places to be. Still, will all these buildings be filled.?They are all over in the two neighborhoods that I have described. The general atmosphere is one of calm--on Sunday afternoon the neighborhood near Peabody had a decent amount of people moving around---seemingly enjoying themselves. Towards the hotel where the glut of new apartments was strong---nobody was on the street---I saw nobody going in and out of those new apartments. Pied a terres? Away for the weekend to Maryland resort areas? Hard to say. But this is a world totally separate from the working class and poor neighborhoods to the east and the west of downtown..
 I was always aware of this juxtaposition---yet could not help but enjoy the "safety" of the areas that I traveled in.
 So where do we go from here? Not sure---must watch the city carefully. Only felt that I was getting to know it as I left---only one other "scheduled" trip left this summer, to DC in about 5 weeks, but will follow Baltimore closely from newspapers and any other source. Still would have liked to talked to an experienced Baltimore native about this juxtaposition, but did not have a chance.
  Came back to the apartment tired---yet could not sleep much last night---much to my surprise.
Today another BAN meeting and tomorrow, scheduled to go to a reading of a novel that my friend Sarah's husband has just written and is being published. Will report soon.

Friday, July 12, 2019

The weekend Trip...

finally leaving the city for two days---off to Baltimore, the city that still fascinates me, and the only city which, for a certain, amount of time, I really called my home. Still remember those Hopkins days, especially the last Spring (64) when all I could feel was Heat! Do you remember the women in your life at that time, cittiboy? Of course you do---one who cared about me but could not commit, and the other who took (maybe went with me is a  better way of putting it) on a wild erotic adventure. Thank god for ___there was some pain in our "morning after" (actually the same night) , but what happened before was worth it. Yes, those were the days---I had the car and David F and I would go on those wild "midnight rides" around Baltimore, where we would try to put things together. Then came graduation, and it was all over---time to  move on to a different (and much more frightening) place (Yale School of Drama, 64-65). Could not believe that two years would be so different, but they were, and when I left Yale (did not graduate, not even asked to come back) my life was "in ruins". Time to start all over, to reconstruct without a map, to deal with the disappointment that my parents experienced, in addition to my confusion of why I could have two so disparate years right in a row.
  November 63: Walking around Hopkins a hero and leader
  November 65: Walking around a poor neighborhood in the Bronx, making "home visits" to welfare recipients. Quite  a change---well, those days are long gone, they only exist in memory now, and at least the "calm' of the present is somewhat reassuring. Ultimately all these memories become a tapestry of visions, that can be called out at any time. Anyway, tomorrow I return to Baltimore, which, as you know, is in a very tumultuous state, and spend a day and a half there. Will see my friend Robin on Sunday, tomorrow means one or maybe even two baseball games at Camden Yards. Will be nice to do that.
  Yesterday evening, Promenade turned out to be a revelation---one of the most amazing theater experiences I had in a long time. And to think that I only went because Jim, my college roommate randomly chose this for he and his wife to see, and invited me along. At one point I actually thought that I would skip the show and just meet them afterwards. But I went--I had heard of this musical before, but somehow did not think it would interest me---boy was I wrong! An amazing score, great lyrics--a wonderful quirky cast, truly bringing to life the wacky underpinnings of the musical. Only game two performances, otherwise, I might go back and see it again.
  Afterwards, Jim, his wife Sally and myself went to the Greek diner around the corner from City Center and talked a bit. That was fun---they are visiting their son and his wife and child who live in Brooklyn Heights. Some memories of the times we spent together at Hopkins, and some discussions about current events in the city. A nice time.
  So there we are, will report on the Baltimore trip, memories and all, on my return.

Thursday, July 11, 2019

amazingly enough.....

spent last night doing "nothing". Simply returned to the apartment around 8 (after picking up my Promenade ticket at the City Center Box Office) and "languished about". Again, the fatigue was playing with me---still trying to piece together what that is----but somehow staying in seemed appropriate for the evening. Woke up this morning feeling energetic---as I usually do in the mornings---determined to be ready tonight to see Promenade and later have drinks with my friend Jim, at full strength. I wonder if sitting at this computer for a 'longish" period of time (around 1.5 hours) builds the fatigue factor. A long time for the body to be focused in one space.  That is another thing to work on. Still, feeling nice that right now the body is moving easily with no sign of fatigue---will probably just return to the apartment this afternoon, do some reading (in Riverside Park?) and get ready for the evening.
  Did not really get a chance to describe Tuesday evening---a nice one where I began at East River, had my sprite, said hello to a few people that I knew who came by, and the took off. Ended up at the restaurant on north 6th between Wythe and Berry, where my friend Shayla used to work. Had a very well prepared Kale Caesar salad, and some great rolls---a meal in themselves. Found myself in an interesting conversation with a guy named Bryan, who had moved to Williamsburg a few months before, and was making this bar-restaurant his regular haunt. Can't blame him, the service is good and the wait and bartender staff is very friendly and reassuring. Had a nice conversation with Lauren, the bartender---feel like this is a place I would like to return to---as long as I keep to the salads, I can afford it. Left feeling pretty good.
  Tomorrow is a kind of "prep" day for the weekend journey to Baltimore. Have to organize all things financial and clothing wise so that I can leave the apartment early Saturday morning. Should not be a problem; hope to end up at La Flaca---okay, now its time to get ready for tonight, will report soon.

Wednesday, July 10, 2019

wear and tear...

is what cityboy is feeling right now, around 4:30, sitting in the lincoln center library.  Already it has been a long day, from waking up around 5 (that is my normal) to going out to Brooklyn fairly early---hanging out at the Brooklyn Public Library--then a little time on Vanderbuilt by this time (around 1) the heat has gotten to me, I am tired and head back to Manhattan and the apartment. As I sit here, I am still a bit winded, not sure what to do with the evening. A hard evening because it is still All Star Break, so cannot hit a bar and watch a game---have to wait until Friday to do that. Not sure how the evening will turn out---or how much energy I have to give to it. What does this mean? Am I perpetually tired?  Can't stop getting up so early---it seems like it is just a habit. Anyway, will figure out something for tonight---either paying or non paying---based on my energy level.
 Tomorrow will see Promenade, part of the musical series at City Center. Would not have gone under normal circumstances but Jim, my roommate from college and his wife are going---they are in from DC---and I am meeting them there and afterwards we will go out for a bite, or something. They are staying in an airbnb in Brooklyn Heights, near where their son and his wife and child are living. Still remember the first evening, a Thursday evening in late September 60 that he and I spent together,---we were both baseball fans and we talked a lot of baseball facts and trivia that evening---and bonded well. I still remember the feeling of relief and excitement I had while the conversation was going on--this was to be the person I was sharing a room with for a year, and we were hitting it off very well.
Now, how many years----59--he and his wife are retired and living outside DC---and I am here--still trying to "put things together".
 The days without sessions continue to be too long---I really need the structure that the sessions or the work at Friends gives me---that is clear. But that may not be for a while. So calm down, cityboy, make the most of your time to read, walk (hey it is hot!) interact (as you did last night at two places in Williamsburg) and observe the city.
So the evening will soon descend on me with all its choices. Will report soon.

Tuesday, July 9, 2019

DC problem settled...

my friend Bob and I decided that an August trip to DC and a baseball game at that time (Brewers-Nationals, very important) might be better then a trip in the next week and a half. Far better for me; I won't be pressured after the trip this weekend to Baltimore. Still, there is a small gap in terms of what that next week will bring. More travels around Brooklyn? We will see.
  Last night, went to the BAN meeting-lots of discussion about the march in September---happy because a young man whom I met totally by accident in Brooklyn whom I began a conversation with,  showed up with a friend.  The march includes at this point a walk along Stuyvesant Street---might take that walk in the next few days, to check out the territory. This was the street that Spike Lee used in Do the Right Thing---the movie, which I saw in 89, is now playing in one or two theaters in the city. A little nervous about checking it out again---might be interesting just in terms of looking at the architecture of the street---that world has changed so much---like the rest of Bed-Stuy.
 Today is open---will probably return to East River around 6 and see if any of my South Fourth friends are there--really had a nice conversation with many of them last week. After that...?
 I continue to read and be fascinated by Summer in Williamsburg, the novel written about 90 or so years ago by Daniel Fuchs. But because it is in a gigantic book with two other novels by Fuchs, I can't take it anywhere (or so I think) so it is incumbent on me to find another book that interests me to take on my 'subway journeys. Am in the library now, will look for one after I finish at this computer.
  That is all for now--life is full of surprises and choices if you live in the city---will report soon.

Monday, July 8, 2019

issues, issues....

as the week begins----might be going to DC in the middle of the week after next. Can you handle it, cityboy? More discussions with my friend Bob, who lives there before I make the decision. Still, feel a little anxious about it.
  Saturday night, Finally Fairview! Very disappointed--I had imagined some kind of confrontation with its white audience but the ending, when this confrontation was supposed to take place, seemed very tame. I suppose, after reading the reviews and the interviews with the playwright, I conceived my own ending, and was disappointed not to find it, nevertheless I do believe this ending to be a cop out. Still, the production was outstanding---one part of it being a mirror image of the other. Afterwards, went to the Gotham Market bar for food---bar staff there very nice---enjoyed the meal and went home.
 Sunday---an interesting day, did not go to Trenton for the Thunder game---a little too tired for that, instead decided on my usual trek to Bushwick an Cobra. Olivia, my barista buddy was not there, but her replacement, Talia and I, hit it off well, and instead of watching the baseball game that is usually put on for me, we worked diligently on the Sunday Times crossword puzzle (Talia does them a lot) for most of my stay. Nice rapport between the two of us---will return to help her out in the future.
  When it was over, decided to visit Molasses, the bookstore between Knickerbocker and Wilson, said hi to owner Matt--could not find a dollar book to buy, then over to Wilson---the bus going away from  Flushing Avenue was first so I took it as it followed Wilson Avenue to its "bottom", where Evergreen Cemetary cuts it off. Got off at Broadway, just as Bainbridge Street begins, Then it was time for a walk, followed Bainbridge from Broadway to Malcolm X (six long blocks---the block between Rockaway Avenue and Thomas Boyland is really long---and full of really beautiful Brownstones. Once again, it is thrilling to be walking in Bed-Stuy, trying to piece together the story of this neighborhood from its beautiful and pastoral present, to its turbulent past. Streets were pretty empty, only one or two people on each street, even the long ones. A great walk, look forward to moving through almost every street in Bed-Stuy this summer. Finally arrived at Malcolm X, then three blocks north to Halsey where the bus to downtown Brooklyn came immediately. Stopped at the Market again---everyone was watching soccer--could not get a baseball score---then went to the new Fiction Bookstore, had an ice coffee and read for a while---a nice thing to do there.Got tired quickly, grabbed a BLT at one of the coffee places and went home.
  Today the BAN meeting in the evening---after that...?
  Martin Charnin, an original Jet died---remember that Saturday afternoon in late August of 58, when David and I saw West Side and had pictures of he and his then wife Lynn Ross that our father had taken when they visited Timberland (both my father and mother and the Charnins) and we waited outside the stage door to give the pictures to them Charnin was formally nice, his then wife seemed a little withdrawn---last image of Charnin hailing a cab and the two of them getting into it  (a Jet getting into a cab!)---the cab going south, sticks in my mind. What a life I thought the two must lead.
  Memory over, will report soon.

Saturday, July 6, 2019

Bridging the gap.....

just finished a strong "session", feeling concrete---real, satisfied. All good. But how to reconcile that with some of the "restlessness" that I experience at other times? Part of it is just a lot of time on my hands---but I can get very carried away with the "mythic" aspects of my current life. From my apartment, my imagination wants things---have to control it, but after this morning, it seems a little easier. Still, remembering how my mind explodes when I have unstructured time---a feeling that is very separate from the cityboy who tutors and focuses. Can the "restless" part of me be controlled---that is can I be less hard on myself at certain times. Let's see---today's session---the first that I have had since Monday---really opened my eyes. I suppose we will have to take it from there.
  Yesterday, the plan was to check out Dynaco, the bar on Bedford Avenue in Bed-Stuy that a friend of mine bar tends at. But in yesterday's early evening, I seemed to have walked right past it---decided to have a beer at Black Swan---an Bedford Avenue bar-restaurant that I have visited several times before. Good idea--it was not very crowded, watched some baseball and had a very interesting talk with another patron named Liam--a neighborhood resident. All good, felt like I had fulfilled my
"adventure" quota as I left, and walked south on Bedford to Fulton ( those Bed-Stuy streets really fascinate me). Also so an incredible amount of new building going on on the block. Somewhat oppressive. Anyway walked to Fulton, then took the bus back to Gotham Market (I had begun my Brooklyn evening there)  hung out for a while, then went home. Tired, really tired, but up around midnight, tired and frustrated. This feeling continued through the whole night (see above) until the dawn approached.  Much better now.
  Two things: reading Daniel Fuchs' novel Summer in Williamsburg--so amazing, the citizens he writes about (Jews living in Williamsburg around 1919) are totally real to me, their quirks and guarded behavior patterns. But it is a big book with two other novels by Fuchs in it as well---have trouble taking it out of the house--but that is where I want to read all my books---out of the house. So we will see if I can lug it somewhere as time goes on.
  Tonight---the much praised Fairview---I am finally seeing it. Have heard so many things about it. Really looking forward to being there. Anyway, that is all for now, will report soon.

Friday, July 5, 2019

after two days....

had an interesting day yesterday. Toyed with the idea of going to the track (Belmont) today, but much too tired---also do not want to risk any money. But hopefully on Sunday I can trek to Trenton to see the Thunder---we will see.
   Yesterday got up early---active-needed to go somewhere and finish the mystery that I was reading. Headed to Brooklyn, needing a strong shot of ice coffee. Hit Gotham Market which luckily was open---had my coffee, read my book time to go---but to where? Jumped on Nevins Street station and took the 4 to Utica and Eastern Parkway. Ah, this is a place which fascinates me. The plan was to take the 46 bus north from the Parkway to Broadway which is the edge of Bushwick. But the buses were slow---so, in spite of the intense heat, I walked north, all the way from the Parkway to Fulton. Great walk, even in the heat! So many stories in those streets, still mostly (from what I could see) Caribbean. Occasionally one passes a "coffee place" with the (mostly) white people at their computers, but I only found one on my journey. Jumped on the bus at Fulton, took it to Lafayette, where I grabbed the 52 (i think that is what it is)  which goes through the Bushwick grid up to Wycoff and Dekalb. From there, a short walk to Cobra, where I had a nice ice coffee and read in the fully air cooled space. Felt good being there, even if there were no conversations. Afterwards, went back to the J and back to the apartment to rest before going out again to see the theater project that my friend Sarah directed and helped conceive.
  I enjoyed the piece, though it is a little too pedantic and at times in love with itself. It also suffers from a lack of information about its subject. But it was good to touch base with Sarah, and Lucy, a cast member who also co-produces. She, as usual, was terrific. We spoke a bit afterwards about the movie that has just been released that she has a major role in. Also, ironically enough, another gentleman who did not know anyone involved, loved the play. and I helped him meet the playwright, to tell him how much he enjoyed it. Can't really understand how he so completely liked it, but---hey, that is showbusiness. The man seemed to relate more to Simpson quotes then I did---maybe that is it.
  The rest of the day---who knows? I would like to try to Bed-Stuy bar that a friend of mine works in (or at least I think he does---I have not seen him in a while)  so maybe that will be my evening "adventure"--will let the rest of the day happen---kind of tired from all the walking that I did yesterday---am reading the novel by Joseph Fuchs, called Summer in Willimamburg---really good so far. Lots of reading projects will report soon.

Wednesday, July 3, 2019

July 3rd and....

not sure of day plans. A hunger to see the current version of Oklahoma, at the Circle in the Square, but unless I can see it for $50.00 of less (a standing room---not sure I could do it)  I probably won't.
Other options? You know them well, cityboy.
  Here I am in the library on 42nd and 5th. It opens at 8 in the morning, very good for me to know, since my energy is high early morning, and the other libraries are not opened until 10. I came here particularly because I want to get a book out of the fiction section, a book called Summer In Williamsburg by Joseph Fuchs, written in the thirties  (did you think it was some tell all written by a milennial who had just arrived) about (I think) his boyhood in the area when it was a Jewish working class area. This is the only library that has it, but since all libraries are closed tomorrow for the holiday, decided I really needed it today. Am currently reading the mystery by Will Madeiros that takes place in Bed-Stuy and its environs, but it reads fast and it is possible that I might be finished with it tomorrow. Do not want to be left without a book to read, so...here I am. Library was fairly quiet and uncrowded when I got here around 8:40. Anyway, when I finish at this computer, I will try to find Fuchs' book as well as possibly one or two others that might interest me. That is the plan.
  Yesterday---stomach cramps all day---really a rarity, much better this morning----but I did go to East River---met Clint and also my buddy Harlo, (and later her husband Noah) and had good solid conversations with them. At around 8 I was tired, so headed north on Bedford, grabbed a pizza slice near the L, and, with some trepidation, took the L back into Manhattan. Amazingly enough there were no glitches---since the changed "shutdown", I had scrupulously avoided the L, even if it means taking more circuitous routes, to and from Williamsburg and Bushwick. Will this change it? Not sure, enjoyed the challenge of finding the other ways.
  Anyway, that is where cityboy stands now---no posting tomorrow, because of the holiday, but should be back Friday or Saturday. Stay cool.

Tuesday, July 2, 2019

meeting my friend Clint....

for a beer and conversation tonight at East River, the bar in Williamsburg frequented by south fourth followers. Have not spoken with him in a while---should be fun to discuss opera and other things we have in common. After that will probably stay around the "burg' for a while--probably take a walk north on Bedford, see what happens.
  Yesterday, the plan was to visit Sonny's the famous bar in Red Hook but by 7 felt kind of tired---knew that I would not make it into Brooklyn---but did not want to "hang" in a bar in the immediate upper west side neighborhood where I live--the immediate choice would have been the 106 street Dive Bar, but the last time I was there, nothing interesting happened, so I factored that place out.
Finally I decided to check out my "old reliable" bar, Lansdowne Road, on 44th and 10th, and despite the fact that I was tired, I walked from 61st and Broadway to the bar. There, of course, three ball games were on--I had a nice Caesar Salad, and a very interesting talk with Mark, a producer and writer of "The Deuce", which of course, I have never seen. He is from Baltimore--actually raised near Hopkins, so we had a lot to talk about. Effective conversation---I left about 9:30 (maybe a little too early) and headed home.
  Not much else to report---4th of July comes nearer---will see my friend Sarah's project in the early evening---then Fairview on Saturday evening. Am toying with going to Belmont Park on Friday---mixed feelings about getting back to "the track" and betting on the horses. Will let you know what decision I make as it gets closer....

Monday, July 1, 2019

just made a comment on a blog...

concerning the changes on the Nets, but it was not accepted, or the tasks at trying to have it accepted were to bizarre for my mind. Oh well. I wonder if whether the signing of Durant will have any effect on the already out of sight Brooklyn real estate prices. Will a Nets ticket become a" luxury item"  therefore bringing a string of the uber wealthy into the borough looking for expensive pied a terre's or already expensive Brownstones. And this would put pressure on the lower and middle class citizens of the borough. Possibly, just a vision, an idea---there is already enough manic building around the arena even without the presence of Durant. A lot might depend on how well the Nets play this coming year, as Durant won't be actually on the court until 20-21. Well, we will see--can't help feeling the oppressiveness of this move in terms of the city. Still, a lot could change before then.
We will see.
  Saturday afternoon---incredible heat and humidity, could hardly move, nevertheless got myself out to the Japan movie festival at the Walter Reade to see Attorney, an interesting pot boiler made in Hong Kong. About a lawyer who defends a poor young man who is being framed by a powerful family actually responsible for the murder the young man is accused of committing. Kept my interest, really nice to look at, a decent movie for an early Saturday evening. Then off to La Flaca---hung out, watched baseball for about 2 hours, quiet time there.
 Sunday, stayed around the west side (not easy) for the whole day, until around 6, then went to a reading of a new musical whose book is written by my friend Ben. Can't comment on the musical now---needs some work,--over at about 8, faced with the following predicament: Hungry, should a buy a meal at Fairway, or somewhere like it and spend about 5 to 7 dollars, take the meal home and stay in for the rest of the night, or should I hit the Dive Bar---pay around $13.00 but be part of a community for a while? The thought of just staying in the apartment at that hour really frightened me---I needed to be out, even if it meant taxing my already taxed budget. So I went to the Dive Bar on 95th and Amsterdam---had their hummus (very easy on the stomach) and watched some of the Met-Brave game. Not terribly interesting---the people sitting on both sides of my bar stool seemed kind of boorish-but at least I was out. Left the bar at around 9:20---could have stayed longer-got home and slept pretty well.
  Tonight the plan in my mind is to try to go to Sonny's, the famous Red Hook bar.Have not been there for a while; it is hard to get to, but a trip there is one of the things I promised myself last month as the work at Friends came to a close. Will I make it? Will report soon.