maybe tonight Flute

Just came from a two hour session with Kevin---we are doing well together, his parents gave me a nice gift---just what I needed. Would have liked to see A Free Man tomorrow, but TDF is off until Monday----may go down anyway and try to get in---tonight will try to see Flute at Met, not too anxious to go, but Ashley is my friend and I am anxious to support her. Will probably have to stand, but can do it. Otherwise, should make an appearance at South Fourth soon, the cold has kept me away---strange week, without much structure---but the students have gotten these enormous packets--so there should be plenty of work. If not the play tomorrow, then the dinner with Bobby at La Flaca, and probably a movie. We will see what works....

yesterday, another trip...

and one that I didn't really plan to make---to take the F train all the way out to Ditmas Ave. but there I was---ready to go east to find a cool place to have coffee. How to describe the quiet when getting out of the station. It's like a different city---still fascinating, the walk accross Ocean Parkway, to Coney Island Avenue, and then to those four blocks or so where the Cortelyou Road energy lives. Found Quadra, a nice littel coffee place, next (ironically enough) to the neighborhood Connecticut Muffin. Still, to walk from Macdonald to Coney Island Avenue, it is like entering a different world, none of the dynamics of neighboring Park Slope or near the Park. The streets seem to exist on their own. Always like to go there----returned home very tired, could not do much more then rest and then sleep, did listen to some Schubert and beethoven, though----very fulfilling.

a state of.....

exhaustion---can you blame me....yesterday at Friends, then the games, then the reading of the Three Sisters, then interacting with the cast, then home at about 11:45. This morning, no calls, feeling totally exhausted---but will go to the Christmas assembly this afternoon, hope to see those kids from 10 and 09. So where are we....feeling very accomplished re my life and interaction, trying to deal with the "intangibles" that might be stronger---you know what they are. Still, looking forward to the holidays, if only for lack of structure that, although you don't like it, cityboy, you might really need. Some long nights in Williamsburg....? Don't bet on it, though anything is possible. But at this moment, despite all the things that need to be fixed in the world, things look alive and promising.

incredible....

day at Friends yesterday, seemed like everything worked,everyone extremely nice---stayed for basketball game, did a cross word with Wiggins, looking forward to coming back on Monday. Went to see Afganistan yesterday, very tired, stayed only for the first two parts, rather long and not very dramatic---would probably have stayed but really exhausted, returned home and basically went right to sleep.
Today, Adam's play, which I first saw in a reading in 1996. See if it has changed---still trying to get in all the plays that are only around for the next two weeks, will that happen....? Will chat with Zak tomorrow to see if we can plan anything. Meanwhile body fairly tired, will probably rest until going to see the play this evening---can't wait to visit the Center Atrium and have some coffee and chocolate chip cookie sandwiches....yum yum yum.....

Interesting time...

at "The Gutter" last night---tough trivia game, but still enjoyed it. Went to South fourth, not a lot happening there, watched a little football, chatted with Kim, headed back to Manhattan. Tonight might be a good night to see something, but might also be fun to head down to la Flaca and chat with Cathy, and/or Megan or Hannah. Anyway we will see. Time on my hands, not the greatest, but will pick up my check at Friends soon, so that will be nice. Have to check some schools that have called me on Inside etc., that and atlantic yards should be my next persuals (pretentious word)...anyway, let's get on with it.....

and so....

here we are the Sunday morning after Thanksgiving--kind of tired, but otherwise, I guess, okay, Last night decided not to see anything, hung out at South fourth and also at La Flaca (my friend Bobby's place) and got through it. Today will work with Neal, then...it is anybody's guess.
Some good feedback given to playwrights Robin and Adam about their work---I should encourage myself to go to more Readings now---feedback meaningful, however, there are so many projects that I would like to see---have no idea how many I will get to. This week somewhat of a mystery in that I don't know if Kevin will be ready for a lesson on Monday, if he isn't a lot changes. Anyway, all that will be determined soon.....

8 days later....

still recovering from a kind of exhilirating weekend...both the play at the Public and Michael and Abbie's "event" at the Church were very meaningful, met some really interesting people at the Party after the second play. Last night saw Tiny Furniture...did not think I would like it that much, but kind of enjoyed it, have to admire that the writer was not afraid to present herself as "clunky", I think that is what made it palpable.
Today, went to Friends briefly to pick up check---will return there again when.....? well atleast will come back for the play on Thursday and maybe Friday as well. Tonight will go to the Public for the forum---it was offered to me for free---had to take it---interesting how involved I am becoming with current events.....first off, after I leave her is to return to Manhattan and work with Kevin---have some things to work out with him, hope it can be done.
So here I am at the Brooklyn Public Library---look out the window where the Flatbush avenue bus is going....where.......?

exhiliarating session...

with Angel today---really focused and got him working on his report. Feeling very up about it. Rest of the day, one more session, this one with Neal, then...who knows....? May travel to Brooklyn and wander around, certainly a very good day for it, or return to Manhattan for a play or a movie. Dissappointed in "The Kids Grow Up" yesterday, more on that sometime later. Had tiring but good week at Friends, 4 out of 5 days, and return there atleast for two more on Thursday and Friday, possibly others. That's all now........

beautiful night

in Williamsburg---do not really want to return to the West Side, the kind of night where one could walk for hours---but tired, probably will jump on the L, as soon as this is finished. Still, would love to wonder through the north side, down to Wythe, or Kent, even, wish I was not as full as I am, but I am.
Otherwise, missed a chance to sub in the library this afternoon, should have had the phone with me, but what about Miguel.....how bad is it if I cancel at the last moment? Anyway, will return to Friends on Friday, and then be there most of next week. Not much more to say at this point---a cluttered existence, but still an existence. Tomorrow Little Foxes, I wonder if those guys will remember me....we will see.

week seems to.....

have straightened itself out, after some rocky mid-week moments. Yesterday a hectic day at Friends, then finally, no tutoring, atleast some time to myself. Felt rushed but determined to get to Bushwick to see PL115 in Ring Cycle. Tired but did it.Very glad, a really great group of talented actors, vibrant, unafraid, inventive, afterwards, spent some time with them, talked to them about my one problem with Act II, but basically, they get both operas very well. A nice and rich accomplishment. Slept better, things seem to be shaping up, tired but will go to see Josh's play tonight ( and the others---hope for the best). Should also drop into Bobby's, now back home to rest a bit, an interesting book of poetry by Jim Daniels, have to make some phone calls to my clients about money, then tomorrow, two more sessions. Seems to be turning out nicely, and a benefit was the solid response my post got on Nick's blog. Got to go out to Brooklyn soon......

I sit...

in the computer store, feeling the incredibly beautiful breeze from outside---really an amazing day, and just had a good session with Angel, very upbeat---kind of makes you forget all the craziness and nastiness that you can't control---rest of the day is busy, with another tutoring session (Neal) then hopefully a trip to see liz' open house, then....then to Bobby's restaurant opening day.
Last night returned to EST, nice to see Eric and Gayle again, also Tom K, really fun to say hello to all those guys. EST the same as ever....which means what.....?
Tomorrow, only Kevin as a student, more free time, maybe catch up on some movies, (maybe....?) NYMF.....? possibly........out to BRooklyn....possibly...gosh, the choices are so many.......all right, now time moving, I'm off...!

tired but....

really do not want to return home-----phone change, now stabilized, seems okay, but was pretty heavy at the time---still have to cancel my Birch program tomorrow, if I don't work. Will I ever get to the Met.....? Or any where, for that matter? Nice, however that the students are returning, now if I can just get a few more days at Friends, malaise in the mornings probably comes from wanting to be there...what else.....? Maybe I will go to 113 to congradulate Andrew re the Giants winning, a good game to watch. Sitting here at the Bean, another place I am "known"...not much else as strength wanes...we will see what happens tomorrow.....

not much time....

at the computer, quick, quick, quick-------what first? Slightly envious of Molly Smith at the Arena; ideas around the new theater sound very good--what (If anything) does it mean for you...? Yesterday, long, long walk around the Slope. Today---sorry that woman in the Bronx canceled lesson for her daughter, maybe later....so, with less money and more time what is the plan...? Probably out to South fourth and stay there for a while, then possibly one of your bus trips, or maybe return to the city for final fringe encores day. On a beautiful day like this, does one really want to be inside.....many things upcoming that are worth seeing, but will I........

today....

a far better day----now have the work tomorrow at Friends, a good session with Roberto this morning---and then an encounter with an interesting woman my age named Livia, ofcourse she is retired with all the money she needs...still felt something...no attempt to continue....now in the library, saddened by Paladino's candidacy, what if he really wins, what does it mean? New York is this incredible playground----but at times seems oblivious to anything happening in the real world....new bar last night....as if there wern't enough of them....do these things ever stop. Will go to South Fourth tonight to play trivia---should be fun, but again, how do you make younger people more aware....?

so today.....

woke up this morning in the dark---feeling really wretched....why, not sure...maybe going to the bar on 110street and CPW, which I felt I enjoFeyed, even if I didn't have much contact, left its mark on me. Wandering the streets between 116 and Broadway and the bar, surely thought of all of them.....but that is hardly surprising. When i got home, felt good, tired, pleased at saving money, and the good session with kevin. Took me a while to get back into things, thought I might go and hang out with Jimmy at South Fourth, really would love to do that, but ended up staying in Manhattan, got the call for the three days for Bram, that anchored things a bit.
PHilly this Saturday (past) all the wandering around, really got to know the city Center City, kind of a faux wonderland, I guess you might call it. Just built to please the new upscale and professional class, before their next move. Still, a lot of culture, there must be a lot of artist able to live there, that surprised me---always thought of Philly as a kind of cultural backwater. People at the Fringe were nice.
Looking forward to tutoring Chelsea 2 and Gianna, and my trip to their home in the South Bronx this afternoon. This evening, may check out a play on Fringe Encores, should also catch up on some of the documentaries that are showing...we will see.........

Incredible day yesterday....

subbing at Friends, so much warmth, really amazing, then going to the Bronx to tutor Chelsea and Gianna. Felt I really lived through, accomplished alot, then went to bed, could not do much else---woke up this morning with a headache, glad to have the day off, looking forward to Friday, even if I will have five (atleast) periods.
Being off gave me much time to absorb the election reports---what can you say---Galisano and his vulgar bravado frightens me---wnyc had people who voted for him on, their reasoning also seems uninformed and self oriented. Where are we going with all this....rest of the day...not sure....glad to have the expanse of time available to me, but where it will lead.....

strange and long.....

weekend, finally over, but missed my tutoring session today, as kevin has school (School, today, does not seem possible when everything begins tomorrow),anyway, labor day weekend, the longest weekend, yesterday could have stayed at South Fourth or lucky dog, but instead walked.....walked through McCarren Park, up to greenpoint, up (or north) on Manhattan avenue, to Mark bar (did not go in) and then around to Franklin for a few blocks for the other bars (there must be nine of them) in the area. One day it would be nice to do a min-pub crawl there, but with whom.....? The endless determination of my walking.......now back to west side and then to Queens. The rest of the day......?

long and...

strange night...woke up with a sense of emotional exhaustion----probably has something to do with Easton Ellis' novel, but I am really into it---a man caught in his own trap. Will try to finish after the play, which should be fun. Made an appointment to tutor Chelsea and her sister tomorrow at 1, which means I probably miss all the games on TV tomorrow, but nevertheless, was important to do, gives me a little more play financially---still feel haunted by that neighborhood, will probably be coming there from Riverdale, so that in itself should be interesting, remembering that night in 1998, when three buses and one subway took me from Riverdale to 170 street in the bronx-----going through Crotona Park in the bus at night, almost a nightmarish vision----so dark---but more about today, will see what is happening after the play, would like to try Sackett's. sounds like a good place.....television, also check out a few new places in and around the slope, but remember, stomach will only hold so much....later.........

FRiday of labor day......

the end, the dying of the summer---each one seems like a weekend to endure---but city boy is seeing 39 steps with his fringe friend Irene tomorrow, and Sunday, maybe a visit to Wave Hill. Some reading, want to finish Watch on the Rhine, blown away by the first act yesterday, will try to finish it, but still might be tough to get through the weekend. Found a new restaurant called G restaurant near Yankee Stadium, no problem vibe, might be useful during the playoffs, we'll see.

that last post.....

with its exhilirative content seems like ages ago, though it was only two weeks and two days. And yet, sometimes when I look back on this past fringe, I feel like I went through a war---tough time readjusting.....three tutoring sessions yesterday, including one for the first time in a neighborhood that I wasn't sure of, and when I returned home simply collapsed....got up to have a meal at the "new" All State, then returned to sleep, and to sleep again this morning---finally seem to have worked out all the kinks from my tired body----not sure about the rest of the day, have not been to South fourth since the fringe was over---should go there soon---much else to do, meanwhile saddened by the lesser hours the library will have starting next week. well, there is always the midtown one which opens at 8, if that is necessary...let's see how the weekend turns out...........

Exhilirated.....!

Just returned from tutoring Neal in Global; a Regents that he has today, now feeling exhilirated about doing the Fringe today----remember it is a long week, and that you have been pretty tired before.....but today....everything feels positive. Will it be that by the end of the day.....we will see.

almost two hours.....

at the computer, two days before the fringe----everything stops after that, and don't know how much time I will even have at the computer during the two weeks of the fringe.
Decided that I wanted to have today as a free day---did not call Roberto and ask him if he was available to have a lesson---I like him, he is really a very sweet and affable guy, but I think I just wanted to clear my head today---will likely head down to my sight at the Fringe once I get things settled in the afternoon, see if Krystal is there---maybe we can work out some strategy for the first weekend, which, should be very intense---basically psyched about having a strong and possibly exhausting schedule this year---remember last year I felt a little guilty about having to do only three box offices while others did six---well, now I will get my six and then some, still, the idea of the six venues on 4th street, and what will probably be an incredible flow of traffic and interaction sounds very exciting.
No more wandering around fifth avenue in Brooklyn on Sunday nights to end the evening---not for a while anyway. Yesterday at Petes Candy store to see Cyndi Hopkins---she is good, but God, the place frustrates me---it always makes me so aware that I am alone (as I wrote about in Yelp) , well that is the problem with bars with no TV (hate to admit it), anyway, this will be the last post until the Fringe is on, will try to make a few statements during that time.......

Clarinth Road on google maps.....

Still haunted by that one date with Ellen Lowenberg in February 1961; still thinking of Clarinth Road, the house---whatever--how can the memory of one street at one time be so strong....? Otherwise, much engaged, with about eight days to go before the Fringe---when ofcourse, everything stops----today, tutoring Neal, then to Parkside lounge to hear Tommy. No return to the Bronx yet, no looking at those houses around 174 street.....will wait to see what happens......

A long day......

in baltimore, only 7:30, but things are coming to an end now, very tired, first Hopkins, then the game, with the rain, the waiting for the buses, the walks, finally going back to belle terre and taking a shower and returning to One World Cafe to get something sweet. So here I sit in the library, finishing up for the day....to early to return to the house, but am tired, not much choice, ready to return to NYC tomorrow to resume my life...time to go.....all things to happen quickly on my return.......

And so we returned.....

Saturday 7/24, library Johns Hopkins....is it possible that I am here? Five hours to meeting with Robin and her brother---should be fun, but what now.....a lonely distended feeling, as if some adolescent had sprung up inside me---Baltimore with its spacious yet empty streets, that totally bucolic feeling you get when you come from New York...have a nice room and a nice host (really inexpensive for two days) but would I have felt more comfortable in a hotel. And this library...opened the September that I left----I never set foot in here as a student....I guess this means for me it is still a "new" library. Nothing more for now....perhaps tomorrow, or Monday, when I return to the city.

so here we....

are...Tuesday, Williamsburg around 8 P.M. Just read a Joseph Epstein story; sharp but awfully brief, wonder if the next couple will be deeper. Just going to drift down to South Fourth, see what happens...all star game....movie...who knows, then......good weekend, got a lot out of the three movies at Anthology, all rather tough, would have liked more linkage to the past, but....not to be. Tomorrow, Fringe meeting with box office people, early this year, learn how to use credit card machine, a first for me, then......Baltimore in two weeks.....? Will it happen? Will check out a place to stay tomorrow, otherwise, in a mellow place.......

three day weekend.....

lots of things to explore, I hope, everything seems to be built around tonight, a movie at BAM, a documentary about Samuel Delaney, science fiction writer and former class mate of city boy. I t seems like yesterday when Doctor Gordon (Isabel) brought him in to read us sophmores, this genius' science fiction excerpt from the Science Literary magazine. I remember, we were told to be impressed by him--the reading was a garble of sounds, energy, but not much content---still, I loved and would recommend to anyone his autobiography about his life with Marilyn Hacker in the early sixties---really wonderful, descriptive writing. Should be interesting to go there today, not sure what the agenda will be before hand, should say hi to Sarah, if she is working this Saturday at Soda, but if I go there right after this---will I be moored in Brooklyn for the rest of the day, and can I deal with this, and speaking of that, how are you going to get through the next couple of days of heat wave in your non-airconditioned, non-fanned apartment. city boy, tell me that...? And what about the cookout at South Fourth, tomorrow afternoon, better be careful that you don't stuff yourself, or by 3:30 P.M., you will be stuffed for the day. Will report soon........

you have....

four minutes, Bob, what do you want to say...a vast expanse of time.....memory......where do we go from here; should read last post, since it was before the graduation, would love to tell Susan about meeting her old college prof Philip Finkelpearl---she would be freaked---God, coincidence is really something...spent the evening watching baseball at Standings, Strasbaugh looked good, but has since been reached, what about yesterday, when you awoke today, you compared yourself to Ulysses, traveling throughout Brooklyn...a little more coherence, Bob, might be desired, anyway, let us move to tomorrow.........

it's a melancholy morning......

I find myself feeling melancholy, not too excited, when the mother of one of my students canceled our session, scheduled for this morning, I was kind of relieved, did not think I had enough to teach him, probably wanted the time. Tomorrow the graduation, looking forward to that, this afternoon Fringe open house, have no idea how that will go, after that a session with Neal in Math A, and finally..........? could be anywhere. After my lesson with him yesterday, had plenty of choices opted to go to Amalgamated Bank on Bed Stuy border, then take Franklin ave shuttle ( a nice ride) to Eastern Parkway, walked over to the library where the 24 hour reading was taking place, readings were a little bland, a little too self indulgent, nevertheless glad I was there...wandered over to Vanderbuilt, returned to Plan B, to watch some baseball, not a great time, but could watch and focus, and the bartendress was very nice to me. Then wandered dVanderbuilt, checked the other bars, nothing too interesting then back home, though it was kind of early Read a bit of the lit mag, some nice stuff, still can't get over how nice the yearbook is. Anyway, we will see tomorrow..........

quite a day.....

yesterday, as I received the yearbook honor from friends, very moved by that, did not expect it at all, nice to have all those statements from the kids. I am really looking forward to the graduation. Afterwards, went to south fourth, had some coke (drink) then went to the new movie theater on Kent, really nice, saw the movie on Freddy's----somewhat dissappointed by it---sometimes theys stessed the obvious too much---now waiting for Kevin, who seems to have forgotten that we have an appointment---oh well, still a lot to do........

being sickened......

by the Times article I just read about the B administration closing down services for the poor in the Gowanus section. Really awful....this administration has no vision of itself as a helping organism, I think that is clear now.........hopefully the city council will try to do something to correct this...this is the opposite of Monday, when politics dissappeared, now it seems to be on my mind totally. Where to go with this....? Possibly contac the Councilman on Monday.

June 1.....

What to say----I am tired from yesterday, but really enjoyed myself at the party for The Team. Strange, how all political visions can dissappear when one is having a good time, and relating to another world (theater) where there seems to be no conflict. But still....what happens on June 30, when cuts go in, and MTA cut backs begin. Will you even be here or in Boston. What about this week, are we strong enough to help my student in the Math A regents. How much learning do I myself have to do. Three books in the library I would like to take out (Auster, Rapp, and Rakoff) yet won't because I am still reading the Feiffer book, and feel the need to work constantly on the Math.
Two students today, then, perhaps try the bar on first avenue where I watched baseball last week, or perhaps another place, depends on how tired I find myself. Later.......

sitting here....

close to twelve o'clock p.m., soon will leave to go to the Bronx Museum, and serve as a "guide" to Pam's twelth grade city class. Chose a route along 167 street---want them to see it for all that it is---also part of your past, also Kerry and Jennifer will be along with us---should be interesting.
Other than that, still tired, don't expect to sub tomorrow, that is to the good, I feel, Tuesday will be enough---later today, what.....? Should go to see Layla at Bembe, havn't checked in with her in a while---hope I am not too tired, havn't been to Williamsburg in a while either---miss it---feeling tired but fruitful, like to have a little more time for myself......but......

Long time....why....?

What does writing symbolize to you, Bob. So many stories, so many ideas, but unable to execute. Why? Is the "doing" of life more exciting? Very intense week---kind of calm now, as I have some time before my 4 o,clock tutoring session. Very strong day tomorrow, amazed that I could go from Queens to Grand Street and give two good sessions, after two periods, and some time spent at Friends. Still, did it...slept pretty well for a change. Where to now, what about Adam's play, feel ambivalent---looking forward to Saturday helping out at the fringe, Should do more of these, easier to go to other sites...."Easier...? Planning for trip to Bronx next Sunday, see what happens......

First week...

in a while that I havn't been at Friends, maybe next week.......? Still, very busy, tutoring, it seems has exploded upon me---running all over the place (Tuesday? Queens to Bronx to Upper East side...? are you kidding.....) so a great deal of satisfaction from that. Missed Muti and Attila, will I see it Monday....doubtful....hopefully the Nose......this weekend will try to do my off off Broadway due diligence...seeing Seusical tonight with one of my students, Kevin, playing a Monkey...otherwise, just moving along........

rushed.....

well that seems to be it; tomorrow four things---just reminding myself of a time in 66, yes, that is 1966, when I stood at the opera house, thinking clearly about the moment I was living in. Now, if this was to happen today, I would probably feel terribly rushed, as if this was just a moment in time, moving on to the next.
Busy week---first day off, can hardly catch my breadth. What about tomorrow, four tasks, can I do them all? What about returning to Boston to see the Odets play, will I have the time to do that? What about going to Washington to see the two history plays? Any and all of this might be accomplished. What about "the Purification" with puppets (indeed!) will I make that. All things to be cosidered, as I move frantically from place to place. That is all now......

so I returned.......

yes and after much deliberation went to Boston this weekend to see Gatz! Overall effect: exhiliration! It was the smartest thing I could have done. Amazed at how easy the bus ride was. and how much I liked the Somerville neighborhood that I stayed in. But the play and the people who attend ART---that is what got me thinking. Some fascintating ideas moving around my head. What does that mean...? Shall be considered.......

long time, cityboy

like over three months---why? Some of my best subbing and tutoring experiences inthe past three months---now feeling pretty exhausted---yesterday waited an hour for Kevin-Dayra (my tutorees) then left apartment, went to library then back to the house, climbed what must have been seven flights of stairs in the process, so physically pretty tired. Went to Toast afterwards to eat---nice guy was bartender, but no one to talk to---kind of sad how uninteresting that place has become, atleast when I am there---but perhaps one needs to move on---just read Isherwood's review of Greenspan's piece--sounds like I would like to see it, since I wake up thinking about theater myself, wonder what makes him so special---also the gay angle--posession....? Anyway, already have eaten two rather large meals, will go to Bronx again today to work with Chelsea and then Diamond. Very proud of the Death of a Salesman essay I "helped" her write---wonder of she has gotten any feedback on it from her teacher--next at Friends on tuesday, unless some action before---we'll see.......