totally free...

today, absolutely no planned work, so what does that mean? Well, may be able to see Godard movie this afternoon, not sure about the evening, should I go to BAM and try to see Six Characters etc. It is a french version which I probably will understand, fascinating play, have known if for years, since second year of college. Other options as well, will keep this open to the end, unless I choose something on AE, because BAM will definitely have senior rush tonight, I know that from the seating chart.
Yesterday, did go to Sybil's discussion at Prelude Center, learned of some other interesting discussions as well, commented quickly on group, then said (because we were asked to) a statement about standing on Ralph Avenue this Sunday, no one picked up on that seemed a little weird, but most statements by audience existed in a kind of controlled state---many not aware of "downtown theater" opportunities. Feel a little out of it, also a bit aggressive--will see how this effects further discussions, definitely would like to attend evening  that Lynnne Nottage will participate in, and the black playwrights' reaction to stop and frisk, which is I think on the seventeenth.
Afterwards went to La Flaca, Page and Britton were there, happy to see me, had the BLT and watched the Knicks for a while. Toyed with the idea of visiting Williamsburg, maybe south fourth for Karaoke, but felt too tired, returned home feeling alive and somewhat mellow.
That seems like it for now, still deciding about plans tonight, have a little more money than usual....

so here I....

am at Library at my old haunt on Pitt and Houston. Successfully have found Spanish version of Twilight, which I will give to Jesus, the coffee guy (I am his personal library gofer), but also wandered around the neighborhood at length while waiting for the library to open. As usual much building going on, across the street from where I sit now is a luxury high rise, the door is on Houston, but much of it fronts on Avenue D.
Who would like to live there, I ask myself, maybe someone who teaches in the four or five schools that are very nearbye, similarly there is the Stanton, all the way near Pitt, another luxury building, same question, what is the motivation for renting an apartment there---if you can afford luxury prices, wouldn't one want it in a more accessible neighborhood...?
Yesterday, one period at Friends, it was definitely enough, the worst period I have had there in a long time, four boys from fifth grade very difficult, will have them again next Wednesday, however the class should be more organized, they should be easier to deal with, also they will be spoken to by Craig, who is in charge of discipline for that grade, nevertheless found the experience upsetting, well I think things will be better next week.
Afterwards. tutored Genesis at the library, much more positive experience, not much energy left to take in
"culture" or hang out, probably tired from Tuesday evening, came home and for the most part, spent the night sleeping with a few wake ups at different times.
Today will try to take in Sibyl's project at the City College Center, could be fun, see how I feel after that...the rest is....

tuesday morning,

already got my hair cut, worked yesterday at Friends, as usual enjoyed it, then tutored Genesis, had a terrible tuna fish sandwich (cost $8.80 with tip) and then home, asleep in a matter of minutes, so it seems.
Nice day today, will see what the future brings, interesting day Sunday, almost forgot about it, though two nights ago I was haunted by the vision of the trip. After stopping off to see Susan at Cobra, needed to walk, walked the with of Bushwick (Wycoff to Broadway), but then what...? Finally decided to take bus up Utica to Eastern Parkway, Arrived there soon...then challenged myself to walk east towards Brownsville, not west towards the gentrified section. Took Union Ave to the park, then a block north back to the parkway. Three blocks east to Ralph Avenue, mostly all black people, but did see one young white woman entering an apartment house off Rochester Avenue on the Parkway. Continued to Ralph, then first block in Brownsville
(Pitkin Ave) one block to Howard, decided that that was as far as I wanted to go, doubled back to the Parkway (now the extension as it heads towards the junction) and hit the parkway again at Ralph. Stood for a long time at Ralph and the Parkway, watched people move back and forth, thought possibly of continuing on one of the two bus lines that stop on the corner, saw a Jamaican woman scream and hit her daughter (the woman was pregnant) for what seemed like no reason, followed them with my eyes, the daughter did not look damaged, still was upset, wondered if I should have followed them, maybe a few years ago I would have, this time wanted to avoid confrontation so I did not, continued standing for what seemed like a long time on Ralph and Eastern Parkway's northeast corner. Why? Looking for a neighborhood that you could have felt safe in when you were growing up; it would have been mostly Jewish then. Finally walked west towards Utica, passed a white young man carrying a table to what must have been a new apartment; he looked at me like "well, do you live in this neighborhood as well...?" also saw a white young woman walking her dog. Still most of the area, the deepest part of Crown Heights seems black and poor.
   Train at Utica to Franklin, got off at Franklin for some coffee, found myself, of course, in a completely different world, full of light, many white young people as well as black people on the block and of course the myriad coffee places and restaurants that line Franklin, gave me a feeling of security. Had coffee and then went home, received call from Micah for Friends assignment a little while after returning home.
During Sunday night awoke and asked myself why the fascination for visiting these "fringe' areas in Brooklyn, why did I do it? Still, want to do more, love to absorb the architecture of these different neighborhoods, see myself as a child visiting or living there. Still the comparison to the better off areas in the city is startling.
Franklin Ave seems like a dream world, next to eastern parkway and Ralph.
This evening will be determined by how I feel after 7, have not gotten out much on weekday evenings, maybe today will be the charm...

beautiful morning.....

something very full and fall like in the air, really a nice optimism in place as I wait to find out if I have one student for today in the Harlem library. Interesting, how, if I had the whole day free, I could see a matinee of one of the many plays that interest me, but it is so beautiful out, it seems like sacrilege to spend any part of the afternoon inside.Need to move around, hopefully can visit some part of Brooklyn (have a yen for Ditmas Park, but don't know if I can make that happen) before the evening. Then I will try to see That Poor Dream, want to touch base with my friend at Assembly. Also, body feels freer than in the last couple of days, a pall that was hanging over it (maybe it was just fatigue) seems to have vanished. We will see how long that keeps up.
Yesterday, tired but did the day, then off to Bushwick to see Ghost Quartet, very glad that I did, enjoyed it, then afterwards, though not terribly hungry went to the beer place on Starr, joined there by many others who had seen the show, and some who were in it.Before most arrived had a nice talk with a teacher of special ed named Tony, who lives in the neighborhood and has a special ed class at a school deeper into Bushwick. Only three kids and a para; apparently it is an autistic class. After he left for an art celebration down the block, cast arrived, had a nice talk with Britton, one of the two immensely talented women in the cast, who was also in Natasha and Pierre which I really loved. She moved on and I chatted a bit with Noel (would love to know if anything is changed because of the Times interest) and watched the end of the third game of the world series. Appetite came back on the subway, but waited until returning home to get some food.
Of course evening would have been impossible if I had subbed at Friends, but still reluctant to admit that time in the evening can mostly happen on nights when I don't work there, No work yet for the week anyway, but we will see. Still, can't wait to return, hope that will happen soon.
Still waiting for the phone call, then off to Harlem, and then....

really looking forward....

to writing today, why....? Not sure. Life continues, no work so should be very rested for my trip to Bushwick this evening, first time out in a almost five days---seems impossible to go out if I sub and/or tutor. Yesterday, between lessons, walked from 141 street and Convent to 128th street and Lenox. Saw some incredibly beautiful brownstones on 137th between seventh and eighth. What was the street like twenty, thirty years ago, is this the Harlem, that up to two years ago, I would willingly avoid at any costs, or at best, move through very quickly. Strange, almost like finding ones eyesight after many years of blindness. Perhaps you took it too seriously.
Reading a novel by Sam Toperoff about Hellman and Hammett. Getting more and more interested in it. Seems like it is all true, author must have been very obsessed by those two.
Not much else to report, the plunder of Brooklyn by realtors seems to continue. Listened to WNYC ask for contributions from its listeners, full of self praise, of course new board member represents everything that the station purportedly is against, that its listnership, that is the retired teacher or social worker now living on UWS or in Brooklyn, would feel betrayed if it knew of this addition to the Board.
Don't know if time will be extended or not, have to end, anyway, tonight, on to Bushwick Starr for Dave Malloy's project.......

So, where was I...

feeling strong today, just saw my Medicare person,signing up for a new plan this year. Intimations of...?
Not really. Yesterday, thought that I could possibly attend Assembly project after their performance of That Poor Dream, started out to go around 9, simply realized that my body could not do it. Instead, went to coffee place on west 79street, looked more like a dating place, so this is where couples go when they don't want to get drunk---I guess. Accepted the irony of it, as I read a little of the Hammett-Hellman novel that I took out of the library yesterday. Returned home and went to sleep fairly quickly, slept well, with usual awakening around 3 A.M. Feel strong enough to do something this evening, maybe even go toSouth Fourth for karaoke, but have to see how things are going when I finish last lesson.
Found  schedule for 11 bus of Baltimore, perused it a bit while getting up. Same bus that Jim and I took as freshmen, route has expanded, but still goes down Charles Street from train station to University. Would love to take the bus all the way to Towson, hope to do it soon. Ah...Baltimore, still calls to me.
Tomorrow, out to Bushwick to see Dave Malloy's musical evening, hope to be fairly rested to do it......

wow, five days later....

actually subbed two whole days at Friends, always fun and meaningful, also lessons, now Wednesday morning, body is very tired, will try to conserve some energy for tonight, when friends are doing short readings of new plays in the village at 10. Both Monday and Tuesday totally exhausted after a long day, yesterday, coming back to West Side from Harlem, decided to indulge myself with a large chicken portion at the neighborhood Chinese restaurant, overeat a lot, really have to rein that in, should serve to prevent that from happening again, body simply cannot receive that large a portion of food.
Sunday, found out it was Joanna's last day at South Fourth, she will now be at Cobra some Sundays which might mean a change of plans. Another nice day, as usual took Utica Avenue bus down Broadway, got off just as Bushwick begins, walked (even though I was tired) to around Lafayette, maybe further, took Gates Avenue bus through Bushwick (this is "eastern" Bushwick, seemed like
most of the ride between Broadway and Wycoff was low income housing. Anyway, area continues to fascinate me, more bus rides in the fall, I hope,
Weekend open with exception of Friday, when I have tickets for Dave Malloy's piece at Bushwick Starr. Rest of it open-----last chance to see Marriage of Figaro, Saturday evening, would like to check out production, don't know if it will happen though, some interesting movies around as well, no shortage of choices....

excited...

because I just received an e-mail from Erin re subbing next Tuesday. Just e-mailed her back confirmation;  I assume it will come through. Sort of colors everything at this moment.
Friday a beautiful morning, have most of whole day ahead of me--evening plans are rather vague, might go out to Bushwick and hang for a while at Cobra, see my friend barista Austen, or perhaps a movie, since there are a few that really interest me.
Yesterday, went to sleep early, surprised that my energy was not that high, but needed sleep, felt good about recounting memory of movie trip with Sally from 62. Just had a flash! Want to go to Brooklyn, had an image of walking around Fort Greene. Why...? Who knows, feel distracted, will get back at some point---weekend should include some travels.

much to....

write about...but where to begin. Let's begin in the Bronx, yesterday, to Alexander Avenue and140 street to get a book about Cortes. Neighborhood has been gentrified, to all accounts, and the two streets from 138th to 140th are lined with beautiful brownstones. But most of the people I saw were black and hispanic, and to my awareness, poor, library crowded with adults of all races and sizes (children will come later)  at about noon. Real need for it. Decided to walk then to 149th street and third avenue to catch train back to uws.
Interesting walk, mostly projects and commercial, 147th-149 area simply comes on to it. That area terribly crowded.
Tired from Tuesdays subbing at Friends and a lesson. Yesterday no work should have stayed home, but  picked up check and then went to aforementioned library. Around 5 really exhausted. Returned home around 7, went right to bed, had a good night's sleep  woke up at around 1, a little energy returned to bed, then around 4 for good. Still, body feels more relaxed and energetic. This afternoon have a dentist's appointment, then a lesson, then....not sure. Lots of things to see, while at the same time, if not tired, might want to visit brooklyn, say hello to Michael, the bartender at
Two Boots or visit South Fourth, maybe even play karoaoke if not too tired, but of course that assumes that I will even be there. Movies galore this weekend, what about my friend Kristen in Fortress, many other options, they come out me in floods, have no idea which "artistic event" is more valuable then the other, just try to go to ones that friends are in. The weekend looks unstructured so far, which means that.....
Went to Barnes and Noble this morning to kill time, read a little bit about David Greenglass, the brother of Ethel Rosenberg whose testimony helped convict her. Still fascinated by it, then a short story by Hemingway, then another called A Days Wait. About a boy who gets sick, I remember a date with Sally on a Friday in 1962, first time I understood what warmth was, she talked a lot about that story, seems to have gotten to her, later we went to a movie at the Senator, Sally loved previews. We were incredibly together that Friday. Still remember it in every detail, , the movie was The Miracle Worker. Probably the best date we ever had (or was it simply the best date that I ever had) though we had some intense ones later. But yes, as I read A Days Wait, thought only of her. She believed that the boy would get better, Dybek, in a short story that I read this weekend felt that he would die, why did Sally believe that he would get better, what was it to her...? Why did that story mean so much...?

what a day......

or how different does a day make! Yesterday at Friends, a completely different pace and reality then staying home in the morning. Really good day, lots of fun and energy with Kate's three classes---return there Tuesday; eighth grade science and a study hall, then, after that.....well we will see. After, should I check out Preludes or go home and rest (something that I have been doing a lot of lately) decided that only way I could hit Preludes was by going directly from around Friends to 34th street. Did that, very glad I did, immediately saw many people I knew, participated in a good discussion about loss and memory, and may be recorded by one of the participants re memories of those in theater passed away, or not. Saw two project,s Eliza's with my friend Lucy, and Mallory's Some waiting around, but basically a fruitful time. Good to return to the "community".
Today, after lessons, there is Bobby's party at La Flaca, actually the party is for the restaurant, may stay a while, then, will finally see That Poor Dream, tonight. At least that is the plan for now...

sad to hear about the violence....

at Net's Center in Brooklyn on Tuesday evening. Very depressing. Otherwise, yesterday, after lesson, not sure what to do---very tired, after I slept a bit, decided not to see That Poor Dream (wait to weekend) and instead visit Erin at Burp. Good idea, had good conversation with her and felt glad that I got out. Slept considerably more calmer as well. Interesting to find out about the process of putting that project on--really admired it for what it is.
Tomorrow back at Friends, afternoon kind of a wild card at this point, should see That Poor Dream on one of the three weekend days coming up. Sunday is the easiest, but would love to spend Sunday evening at South Fourth or Cobra, just relaxing and watching the Giants Eagles football game. Not sure how tired I will feel on Saturday, which will probably determine when I go. Miss the July Sunday evenings at South Fourth which were calm and mellow.
Long weekend ahead, that is all for now....

disappointed....

by the review of That Poor Dream the Assembly play that I have seen in many stages that is now playing at Ohio Space, In Voice, why did he review it so early in the run?  Made me want to see it tonight, to give support to the group. Will I go..? Will see after encounter at the library. Hopefully will not be too tired to do something, as I have been the last two evenings.
Yesterday, after working with Robert, took long walk from Convent and 141street down Frederick Douglass Boulevard to 116 street and then to Lenox, and then to 125th street by 3 train. Fascinating walk on the boulevard between 140th and 116th, some nice shops and restaurants the first ten blocks, then the projects arrive, across the street from 131street to 125th. The gentrification aspect of Harlem, so prevalent in the former blocks, sort of disappears, and one is back in the poor Harlem my generation grew up with and feared. All this, of course ends once you cross 125th street. Within a block the many new buildings with doormen dominate, both on Saint Nicholas as it diagonals towards Seventh, and definitely on Frederick Douglass. Chi chi restaurants, as sense of restraint. Did not follow the street down to 110th street but know of the several bars and restaurants that dart those six blocks. How things have changed since I was tutoring on 115th street and Morningside Avenue in the mid-late nineties.
More reading of Redfield's book, really terrific, really a shame that young theater practitioners don't know about it. Can something be done....?
Monday in Amersterdam library min-altercation with stern parent of a fourth grader who I see there and seems very bright and vivacious. Father (if it was he) was very stern and did not seem to respect her uniqueness---I acted like I was angry, see if is played out again today, will try to avoid any conflict, of course, more on this tomorrow or later....

so what is,,,

new? Just about everything. Elated at protest at Saint Louis Symphony, more of what we need. Sybil has a play in Baltimore, of all places, probably won't be able to see it, but glad for her, excited that it exists in Baltimore.
Yesterday, borrowed William Redfield's book from Chipped Cup. Great book, remember reading it in 67, alone in my studio on Irving Place, working at the Post Office, still recovering from "last year at Hopkins" sadness. Excited by it then, for some reason even more now. Very effective picture of rehearsal process, wonder why it is out of print...should not be. After finding it,  went down to the Center, got a ticket for Barefoot Contessa, Mankawitz retrospective, left after about a half hour, was not getting anything from it, kind of far too self referential. Probably no more of that.
Week is becoming more and more  crowded---tomorrow will probably visit Erin to speak more of her project when she works as a bartender at Burp.
Bob Herbert on radio today, Brian Lehrer show, also speaks of great discontent and apathy among voters.
Will see what happens later....

Saturday night....

tired but off to New School to see Erin's 63 project, glad I did, a very passionate evening, really well done, at moments I was terribly shaken. Will talk to her more about it on Wednesday (I think) when I visit Burp.
Yesterday, interesting day, visited Joanna at south fourth, watched a little football, then improvised, decided bed-stuy was where I wanted to explore. No bus, so walked towards Union on division, which turns into Harrison, Union is one block away from Lorimer. Long walk, all the streets one would face on Bedford going south, now one faces going east to Union. Go figure. Left on Union to its bonding with Marcy, a few blocks and voila, we are in bed stuy, right by the projects. Right on Myrtle, not sure if I wanted to try one of the bars that I have the coupon for, or old friend Black Swan. Passed the two bars on Myrtle, Project Parlor looked very mellow, but not TV, therefore no football. Entered Beast of Bourbon, kind of happening, a million televisions, but very crowded, did not feel comfortable, so opted for the Swan. Had a good beer there, watched the end of the Giant victory, staff was very nice, but found no one to talk to, that being said, still feel somewhat comfortable there. Hunger approached as I left, decided to try Frankin in Crown Heights.
Bus to Prospect Place, wandered around a bit, could not find anyplace to eat, getting very hungry, decided to take the train to Bergen to try Bark, at least I know what is happening there, and it is very reasonable.
Felt a bit like the cat chasing its tail, nevertheless got 4 on Franklin, off at Atlantic walked down to fifth, saw two other options for eating, both with all the football games on, still did not want to venture into a bar I did not know, chose Bark, one game on (jets being destroyed by San Diego) had nice hamburger, then felt
exhausted, toyed with going to a movie at Lincoln Center but instead returned home.Long walk to Bed-stuy from Willaimsburg must have done me in, yet this morning I feel incredibly healthy and strong.
Not sure about tonight, many options---might want to return to Myrtle Avenue and try one of those places I passed, on the other hand.....

three days since....

last posting, three days at Friends and also five teaching sessions---kind of exhausted, no work today, feeling a little bit  relieved, also a little bit empty. Enjoyed the three days at Friends, next scheduled day their, next Friday. Never quite have had three days like this before, non stop running from place to place, and simply coming home and "crashing" at the end of the day. Still, very fulfilling, seem to have forgotten the "artistic" side of myself. That will change today, of course when I go to Debate Society project at Ars Nova, and tomorrow when I attend the "63" project that my friend Erin is creating at the New School Still no time for movies or NYFF, or walks, whatever, will have to wait for Sunday for that.
Baseball game on this afternoon, early, will debate whether to go to Sports Bar on 79nth street and pay extra money for a salad but watch the game, or eat far more simply and get reports of it. Lots of options as baseball playoffs are played out. That is all for now.....