what is happening....

well, a lot, as cityboy seems to be drawn deeper and deeper into the maelstrom of activism. That is a good thing. Last night, went to Starr Bar as I waited for my friend Flako's extravaganza in Maria Hernandez Park---and left  a few flyers for the September 9 march, which they took very willingly, and the manager of the bar said he wanted to host the after party of the march (and people will be definitely tired--it is a long march as conceived now)  so I am waiting to check this out with the BAN community.
The weekend: tired on Saturday, my body did not feel like going across the river to Brooklyn. Wanted very much to "lose myself" in a movie. Since both the large Lincoln Square and the smaller and more art house focused Lincoln Plaza turn me off, I settled on the independent movie at the Bunin---I am blocking its name now, maybe because I found it so worthless. A "New York" movie, which means it takes place in a New York with no problems, no evictions, no poor neighborhoods, no people---white, black, hispanic or other---struggling to hold on to their apartments, or no history of why certain people live in their apartments--you can guess the rest. Not terrible--I was able to sit through it, but basically inane. There were probably more fulfilling movies at the Lincoln Plaza, but that's what I get for not wanting to go there. Still, I don't think I was ready for the heaviness of either Dunkirk or Detroit 67--the latter really frightens me. I would like to see it, but not live through it. Well, there is a movie about Ferguson and the Michael Brown shooting that is opening in about two weeks---I prefer a documentary; that will be easier to deal with. Afterwards, I was able to go to the Dive Bar---the one on 96th and Amsterdam, and had a very good time there--one of the best times that I have had at this bar. The bartender was nice enough to put on the Royal- Red Sox game for me---then I participated in a spirited discussion of New York with Kelly, a  young woman who is teacher in San Diego--who is here for just a few weeks of seminar work in teaching. She is studying this summer at Columbia, and we talked about where she could go in her spare time. I found her a little flaky and maybe a bit over enthusiastic, but we had a good talk (distracting me from the game, of course) and I felt good, leaving the bar.
         Yesterday, spent most of the afternoon at Cobra, the bar-coffee shop on Jefferson and Wycoff that I enjoy so much, watching the game, and also talking to Shaun and Sharon, a couple whom I had previously known at South fourth. A really enjoyable conversation, they have just moved into an apartment several blocks away from Cobra---another set of  Williamsburg transplants moving further out into what might be called East Williamsburg or Bushwick. Also it was nice to hang with Olivia, the bartender there, whom I have known for several years. From there it was off to Maria Hernandez park to see Flako's Bushwick gypsies review. Lots of time spent in the park, that was filled with an interesting mixture of new residents of the area and many of the hispanic community that has lived in Bushwick for a long time. The performers were all black and hispanic, and the content dealt with climate change and also issues facing the community. All in all, it was quite dynamic--very well put together and the performers-poets-monologists were all very interesting. I also was able to touch base with James, a former intern at the Bushwick Starr, whom I had not seen in a while. We had a long and meaningful talk about New York theater in the past couple of years; I really enjoyed it---and he invited me to see him in a production of Cymbeline at a "Shakespeare Festival" at the Brick, later this August. I will try to make it.
  That's all, today is pretty open---still waiting to receive some e-mails or texts and also have an invite to visit another Dive Bar on 101 street and Broadway where my friend Brittany will be bartending.
Will I? We will see---I will report tomorrow.

get it together.....

cityboy---trying to find a hotel of a guest house to stay in DC next weekend---am seeing what seems like thousands of offers---some good, some bad, some in strange neighborhoods, some in great neighborhoods, but can not seem to pull the trigger. Why not? Don't know. When I finish this blog, will probably return to offers----but not sure if I will pull the trigger. Guest houses will be cheaper, but do I want to interact with an owner? Hotels are "colder", but more amenities and a little more "stylish", also I can "be my own man", if you know what I mean. I can't remember an air bnb stay, where I did not feel a little compromised by "relating" to the owner, but yes, they were cheap. Already have an inexpensive bus ride to DC, so paying a little more for a hotel should not be a problem. Still...anyway, I am a little hung up on this.
     Yesterday, did go up to the library on 160 street on Saint Nicholas (love the architecture around there) and got out a book by Matt Taibi, about his experiences covering the Trump campaign. So far its a lot of fun (and craziness). Spent the evening at Standings, my "baseball" bar---had a good time, for quite a while, chatted with a Royal fan named Ben, we started out talking about baseball, but, lo and behold, he lives on Rogers Avenue in Crown Heights, so a long discussion followed about the armory---what the stakes were---and different political and neighborhood issues. Later we were joined by his girl friend Melanie, who has just rented an apartment on Prospect Place, near Washington Avenue. She seemed to be aware of the strains on the neighborhood as well. Her apartment must be pretty expensive---but she has worked at American Express for about 9 years, so she must be well paid. I did not try to enlist them in the BAN program, but they seemed interested and responsive to what I was talking about. Anyway, with the free (and delicious) pizza, it was a nice evening, and when I left around 9:30--I felt pretty good. Still feel that way, if only I could make up my mind about where I want to stay in DC.
  Today is open. Tomorrow, I will go to Bushwick to hand out some flyers for the anti-gentrification march on September 9, and also to see my friend Flako's project, which will be performed in the park.
Two plays are possible for tonight, also just wandering and finding a place to "hang", also a movie--something I have not done in a while.(when I finish this blog, I will probably hit the movie sites---to see what is possible) . A lot of options, a lot of neighborhoods, a lot of procrastination re my trip.
Will report tomorrow.

summer, not a bit of....

breeze
Neon signs are shining, from the tired groups...
Those are the first two lines from a song from Golden Boy, the musical, 1964---Sammy Davis Jr. starred in the adaptation of the Odets play, which I love. Those lines seem to be moving through my mind as I sit in the library, at the computer. Maybe because today and tomorrow are kind of open. I am debating whether to see a play at Jack, in Clinton Hill. I don't know much about it---it sounds like one of those surreal takes on life--but it has two actors in it whose work I know---but do I really want to be there/ Not sure---like I said, everything today is open--free form.
  Yesterday, very successful, I would guess--had a very nice session with one of my students, and then off to Park Slope to hang with my friend Ben, an actor and  very sensitive theater observer. We had a great conversation---going through all the plays we had seen---the people we know---Ben is going on a tour of a play called Small Mouth Sounds starting September for about 5 months. It is a regional theater tour---basically a decent pay check, so I am very happy for him. I will try to go up to see it when it plays New Haven, which is the first leg of the tour. Conversation flowed very easily---I really enjoyed our talk.
  Afterwards, it was time for the Yankee-Ray game, one that I really wanted to see. I found a bar on 5th avenue, in the slope---one that I had passed several times before on my journeys, but had never entered. I went in and was cordially greeted by the bartender, and ordered a light beer. The game was on, but no one really there to talk to. I liked the bar, its layout and the niceness of the bartenders, but there were a few very loud male groups, that I found a bit grating. It is on 16th and 5th, one of several bars in the area---at least three on the same block. (How do they do it?) Does one neighborhood really need so many bars and eating places) Two blocks down is the transplanted Freddy's--the bar that sat at the foot of the Atlantic Yards project--and at one point was going to heavily protest their being torn down. It did not happen, the first Freddy's went quietly, and the replacement located on 5th avenue between 17th and 18th. I have been there a few times---it is an pretty laid back place, but it lacks a bit of the survival vision that the first one had. Why am I so entranced with bars? Do they tell the history of a community?  Is watching a baseball game, more valuable then seeing a movie or play? Is that question really relevant?
   Mayor deBlasio was on Brian Lehrer's radio show this morning, answering questions from callers. Two important questions about the Bedford Armory project were brought up. The mayor clings tenaciously to his vision that since Bushwick and Bed Stuy were gentrified without control, inisisting that the builders include some "affordable housing" is the only way the poor can be helped---in other words, get their share. . But in his mind, it must be supported by luxury housing, even in the poorest neighborhoods. He does not realize (or simply will not talk about)  the effect building that way has on the commercial spaces around the development. Also, he uses Bed-Stuy and Bushwick as examples of 'free form" gentrification, but those areas consist mostly of private houses, where as Flatbush, Chinatown and Washington Heights all have many apartment houses---a very different species of neighborhood. So the displacement effect could be much larger, and few affordable apartments in luxury buildings, won't stop it.
   So that is it. Time to move on---yesterday at the Washington Heights library, I saw some books that I liked, but could not take them out, because I was already carrying too many books. That may be my next step today. Will report tomorrow.

swamped with....

energy from last night's performance of Spring Awakening at the Connelly, performed by the Kidz group (i don't like that name for them) a very talented group of high school students of all grades. I had seen the musical twice during its first run, and liked it. Last night, maybe because I was so aware of the plot, the first act seemed a bit clinical to me, but the second, (and I think the music is better in the second at) was maybe more moving then I felt in the two performances that I had seen previously.  I picked the right performance. Four women from the graduating Friends class were there, including Isabel, whom I had wanted to touch base with before she left for college. So, after the musical was over, I had a chance to talk with her as the group walked  west towards their party, and I walked towards Reservoir, the bar where I was going to eat. Great to see the others as well, and Jake E, the Friends graduate who was actually in the musical, gave a terrific performance as one of the very rigid adults.
But the whole cast was terrific, performing on a very high level. I hope to "hang out" with Jake and Sammy G, who graduated from Friends last year, is now at Yale, and is also part of the Kidz group.
   Afterwards, went to Reservoir, the bar my friend Patrick worked in several years ago. I had not been there in several years---no baseball at the bar---but I got a seat and was able to watch the first part of the Mets_San Diego game and have a nice big cobb salad. The place seemed full of male testosterone---I don't think it mattered that I was not able to sit at the bar, as it did not look like there would be much conversation action there.
  Today, after a session, might meet my friend Ben, an actor living in Park Slope, part of the group that did Homesick, the Weatherman play that I think is special, and that I have seen several times.
Should be a good conversation---then I would like to find a bar showing the Yankee-Tampa Bay game---a very important game for both teams.
   Just made my Bolt Bus reservation for a week from Saturday. It is for bus leaving at 6:30. I like the idea of an early bus---less traffic as we go from the city to DC.
 Still have not found a place to stay---hope to work that out over the weekend. Will report tomorrow.

what is to be done...

have just read two articles from the City Limits web site. One is about a person, now homeless, who approached the Mayor as he was campaigning in 13 and got some support from the then candidate. But De Blasio's housing vision now excludes this person, and she is homeless. The second is about  a realtor who bought two buildings in Chinatown and tried to throw out all the long time tenants. This gets me so angry. And last night, at the debate (very harsh) for City Council, even the incumbent city council person, supposedly in league with the mayor, admitted that after she rejected the city's current proposal for the Armory, the Mayor refused to budge--to change his vision. We are living in a  very passive, self involved, careerist city. Yes, there are pockets of rage, pockets of groups that are fighting against what is going on--and they will continue to fight through the Mayor's next term, which, sadly, seems a certainty. Well, as Shakespeare said (or sort of said) let the wheel role down and see what the momentum brings.
 Yesterday's afternoon was my visit to Brooklyn--specifically to witness the debate between the three candidates for City Council from that area---an enormous area that spans Crown Heights and parts of  Fort Greene and a little bit of Park Slope. Very varied in need and in economic vision.  I got off at Bergen on the 3, had my cup of coffee at (of course) Coffee, and then decided to walk to the venue where the debate was being held---on Lincoln Place between Rogers and Nostrand. A long walk? Not for cityboy. Bergen going east was an interesting trip---still lots of small, undeveloped land parcels, one block, I think between Classon and Franklin that has a glut of new apartments several buildings that seemed to be owned by black homeowners, and generally a mixed neighborhood. Another fascinating trip, The debate had some rough edges---the group there was about 80% black---the essence was about the armory, about some contributions the incumbent had received and a few other things. The Green party candidate, Mr. Brisport, whose grandmother had bought a house in Prospect Heights 60 years ago, as the whites were leaving, acquitted himself very well, sort of standing above the conflict of the incumbent, and her main challenger, who I have helped campaign. Lots of people on both side, towards the end it got a little rancorous---I arrived at the Nostrand Avenue subway station on the 3 (actually this is the first time I have walked around that area at night) only to find that some disturbance had stopped both way trains dead---where did I go from here?  The closest subway, the A, was fifteen blocks north---and I was tired---if I wasn't and if it was day, I could have easily walked it---luckily at Rogers, a 39 bus came just as I reached it, and took me to Fulton, where I caught (after a long and fraught wait) the C. Thought that I might want to stop at a bar near BAM and check the baseball scores, but in the end, tiredness won out. On leaving the 72nd street station, I went to the Haagen-Daas shop and grabbed some overpriced ($6.00) ice cream---but it was just what I needed at the time.
Today: Spring Awakening at the Connelly with an all high school cast---Jake, one of the Friends graduates whom I liked very much, will be in it. From there---well, it starts at 7, so the night will be young, Will let you know tomorrow.

guess what?

Cityboy actually did something he has not done much of this summer, last night. He caught up on his sleep. Yes, amazing though it may seem, and though the exact time is not determined,  more sleep than usual last night and this morning. How did this happen? Well, after yesterday's BAN meeting, I felt this terrible sense of exhaustion. The plan was to go to visit my new bartender friend Brittany, working at a Dive Bar on 101 street and Broadway, but as I hit the subway at 23rd and 7th, I knew this was impossible. I returned home at around 10, and fell quickly to sleep--awoke around 4 with the usual energy that seems odd at that time, but then just as the sun was arriving, I fell asleep again---my body seemed really comfortable with this. So here I am---fully rested---it seems. A nice feeling.
    Also, I heard from my friend Tessa in DC, confirming our "hang out" visit a week from Sunday. That's really nice. I still have not finalized hotel or rooming house lodgings for the weekend--I expect to get to DC on Saturday, and hopefully see The Octoroon that evening---but that should happen in the next couple of days. No rush, there seem to be plenty of places to stay. I think it will be nice---and important--for me to just look at another city---another environment---another world happening---rather than NY. Anyway, that is what is happening.
   Today, there is an important debate between city council candidates in Brooklyn that I want to attend. This is a key district, one with a lot of gentrification, and one that has landlords south of Eastern Parkway salivating at the though that this neighborhood---ten years ago considered a place where no one wanted to live---is now getting a heavy zeitgeist report from the new professionals and also from artists who can't afford Prospect Heights etc. Wow---remember when Prospect Heights was considered undesirable? I visited Park Slope so many times in the seventies and eighties, and never would have dared to go on the other side of Flatbush Avenue in the area we now refer to as Prospect Heights. So it goes on.
  After the debate? Who knows---might return to Amsterdam at 95th street Dive Bar where Brittany is bartending  tonight or stay in Brooklyn, maybe eat at Soda bar, or some place like that. Anyway, we will report on all this tomorrow.

Monday morning....

a kind of emotional exhaustion has set in. Why? Events of the weekend are as follows.
Saturday afternoon---I decided to forgo the party to raise money for M Top--I will try to make a contribution later in the year, Instead, I rested and was able to go to Bronx Documentary Project exhibition and interview with the photographer who had the current exhibit. The exhibit, where the photographer, a native a Liberia, has pictures from a return visit and also from the south Bronx area near Bronxdoc, was a little disappointing, Similarly, the question and answer period with the photographer seemed a little self congratulatory--I was a bit turned off, but when that ended and we were all just hanging out at the gallery, I had a very fascinating conversation with a woman who was living in a co-op on the Concourse. This woman was a photographer close to 70, a white woman, who had bought her co-op about two years ago. I was fascinated to get her take on living in this neighborhood, that abuts Yankee Stadium, and which is still mostly working class and black and hispanic. She told me that this was a tough adjustment for her---she had bought the co op because it was what she could afford---and that she still felt like an outsider in the area. I asked if she understood the history of the neighborhood, how, in the forties and fifties, it had been a prosperous mostly Jewish neighborhood---many of my classmates from Bronx Science lived in the apartment houses in that vicinity. She was raised in Flushing, but, even though she had read some books about the history of the Bronx, did not seem that aware of its past. I filled her in---we had a really interesting discussion. I will probably see her at some other event at BronxDoc.
   And let me say, I think just the experience of going there is meaningful. Walking around in a neighborhood that is still very poor, where just about everybody is black and hispanic, and caddy corner to the space was a police cruiser. To visit this harsh, intense place---it is very different from my travels in Brooklyn.
   I left and walked to the 149th and 3rd Avenue station---took the 2 to 96th and headed to the Dive Bar, which, thankfully, had some seats at the bar. Had a nice hummus plate, and struck up a conversation with a 30 something black woman sitting next to me---she was a buddy of one of the bartenders---who talked to me about living with her mom in a project in quickly gentrifying Harlem. She had returned home because financially she had to.--she talked of possibly trying to find another city to live in. A good conversation--I left feeling that this was a good evening.
  The next morning---very tired---decided to just make one stop in Brooklyn, and by early afternoon, headed to south fourth. I spent the afternoon and early evening watching baseball there, sipping coffee,and having a nice conversation with friends Crystal, Michael and Harlo. By 7: 30 I was ready to leave, but not to return home to the upper west side. I wanted to travel, but where? Finally I decided to take the 62 bus to downtown Brooklyn---it goes south on Kent Avenue in Jewish Williamsburg, sits then on the fringe of Fort Greene, and finally goes around the projects and into downtown. An interesting trip---I could have gotten off at several places but I remained until Fulton Mall---then I walked east on the newly developed mall, and stopped off at City Point---watched the people who had bought or rented  the expensive apartments (I assume they are expensive), and finally was ready to jump on the Q train to head home.
  Still surrounded by the oppressiveness of the new luxury buildings that now dominate downtown Brooklyn. Who are the people who hope to benefit by their presence. Why do they think and feel so differently about things then I do? When will the public recognize their need to dominate and do something about it. Will downtown Brooklyn ultimately destroy itself by over building. Will the whole thing become a joke?  Not yet, cityboy---no real predictions for the future--tonight the BAN meeting and the plans for the march continue. Will report tomorrow.

arrived in Brooklyn...

about 5:15. The memorial for Ms. Livingston, who died needlessly four years from yesterday when, in police custody, the cops guarding her refused to call an EMT (sitting upstairs) when she asked for medical help, was just setting up. As they were doing this, I took a walk south on East 18---a street filled with old apartment houses. Mostly west Indian now, the block seemed kind of mellow. Returned and joined the memorial and call for help. The victim's mother spoke---recounted the horrible events that lead to her daughter's death. Really frightening! That one group of human beings could do that to another. A small group to begin, but it grew, and it was a mixture of black and white activists,. also, others on the near by corners, giving out information. I remained for about a half hour---I would have remained longer, but I found that I had a great need to pee, and there were no "suitable" places in the area for me to do so and come back to the protest. As I said, earlier, by the time I left, the area was filled with activists and so I did not feel I would be missed.
  What did I do? Well, I walked on Church a few blocks---found nothing there, then walked south to Cortelyou Road, where I did my thing at the local Connecticut Muffin. Sipping my ice coffee on a bench on Cortelyou, a noticed how calm the area was---a far cry from the almost intense hustle and bustle and crowdedness that I found on East 18th and Church. So with the coffee finished, the heat still burning down, and and no real hunger pains, I opted for the bus that goes north on Coney Island Avenue and closes down at a juncture of Prospect Park and the South Slope. A really interesting trip---Coney Island avenue rather baron until the park---the the ride down Prospect Park southwest---a very languid and quiet area of very nice houses and small apartment houses---I think this is the first time I really noticed how mellow the area is. Off at the beginning of Prospect Park west, I walked a bit south, found no place I really wanted to go into (by this point I was becoming hungry), then walked west to 8th Avenue. A long walk north was really interesting---the quiet on 8th avenue, again, as compared to the frenetic pace and closeness of Flatbush--showed how different the energy is in the different areas. Still, I could find no where that I wanted to go into ( or could afford) so I jumped on the F and took it Delancey and the old reliable La Flaca for some wings and baseball. Glad that I did, Bob, the owner, my friend now for about 17 years was there, and we talked, then I joined Angela and Sam, two women friends at the bar, for an interesting and vibrant conversation about their family's past. I left for home feeling very constructive and satisfied.
      Today, a fund raising party for M Top in Prospect Heights, and then possibly a visit to Bronx Documentary Project to look at photos and hear the photographer talk. A 'long' voyage from Brooklyn to the south Bronx. Will I make it? I will report soon.

one phone call....

yesterday, shortly after finishing yesterday's blog, set me off. It was a cancellation of a session that was scheduled---only $20.00 that I would not receive, but somehow I was upset by it. Apparently the library where the session was supposed to take place was closed when the AC went down. Forced to respond, cityboy decided to go off to Brooklyn in search of new reading material and an inexpensive afternoon and evening. Did he succeed/?
   After two hours at the Brooklyn Library at Grand Army Plaza, cityboy embarked on a journey into southern Crown Heights---a world that has been much on cityboy's mind in the past few weeks. Checking the catalog, I discovered that I book I was looking for---Durocher_--the biography of baseball great Leo Durocher---could be found in a library on New York Avenue and Maple Street. It was hot, but cityboy wanted to do it anyway---jumped on the subway at Brooklyn Museum and took it to the Winthrop Avenue stop, only to find out, that I had overshot my mark. To get to Maple and New York I would have to walk north about six blocks. In the heat! Yet still, I found Nostrand Avenue, and the streets that off shoot it, fascinating---for their variety, their history, the flow of people, mostly from the West Indies, but a few newcomers as well. A few stores look like they are for the new "yuppies" living in the area, but for the most part, the stores seem to serve the west Indian population living there.  My God, Brooklyn is vast!!! I arrived at the library, hot as hell, but elated by the strong air conditioning in the building, and I quickly found my book.
  Then, to kill time, I browsed a little and came upon a book called the Jews of Brooklyn---mostly reminiscences of Brooklyn's past and the Jewish worlds that lived there. It tells of an old Brooklyn, most of the writers are now in their seventies and eighties. But the best was an article by Mark Naison, who describes the tone and world of his Jewish neighborhood (actually a few blocks from the library that I was in) in a detailed yet very focused manner. This neighborhood was very much a mirror of my own in the Bronx. Somehow he articulates the safe energy of the world beautifully.
And on leaving the library I actually walked a few blocks, even if the heat was overwhelming, because I wanted to see the corner that he lived on during the late forties and fifties. There it was: Lefferts Avenue and Kingston Avenue, a world now both Jewish and West Indian---as I walked east on Lefferts, the two blocks from New York Avenue to Kingston Avenue again I passed many old apartment houses, that had probably been built in the 1930.s and 40.s. The families that lived their when I was growing up in the Bronx were the children of those Jews who had settled on the Lower East Side or Brownsville---some brought their elderly parents along with them--and who must have felt they were entering paradise when they moved into those apartments. But they trained their children to be upwardly mobile---it was unspoken, but there. So none returned, by the sixties, coupled with the availability of houses in the suburbs--the poorer people, mostly people of color were moving in. No matter how often I go into that area, or the areas directly south of there---it is about two or three miles into the neighborhood that Bernie Sanders was raised in---I am transfixed by the architecture that I experience. It represents my childhood---I could have been raised in any of those areas if my parents had taught in Brooklyn instead of the Bronx--played stick ball on the streets, etc.
     The walk to the block where Naison was raised hadaa tired me out, afterwards I walked west on Empire to Nostrand---extremely quiet there---and took two buses to the BAM area on Fulton. Had my pizza and ice coffee, then almost in a state of collapse, returned home. It was early but I had nothing left. The night---well, lets just say it was long---filled with thoughts, and a discovery of a  beautiful piece for clarinet and piano by Schumann---listening to it, I was sure it was by Brahms, but I was wrong---It had all those Brahms eclectic stops and starts---but it wasn't by him.
  Today, the plan is to participate in an activist protest at Church Avenue and East 18 street dedicated to the memory of a woman who died while in police custody three years ago. What then? Not sure, will report tomorrow.

somehow, feeling kind of ...

down, surprising because I actually won $25.00 (actually $23.00) in a bingo lotto game yesterday, and I really did not spend very much of it, so I still have it. But..some kind of torpor has crept in. I think I am obsessing too much over my money situation---yes, I will have to draw on my credit, but this will be the first time in 10 months (I am pretty determined) and that will also be payed back. The amount of debt I am carrying is low---I don't like to say the money is there for me to spend, but even with the one or two trips I hope to take, it will not overload, Still, I seem to be going through this obsessive period, where I am weighing these issues, endlessly.
Last night---not sure of the "voyage", thought that I might want to catch an Alain Tanner fillm (I have never seen any of his) at Metrograph---but the trains were slow and hunger set in--so I proceeded to La Flaca. Not a great choice---the bartender there doesn't have a real connection to me--the waitress was new---and the bar was full, so I had to sit at a table. Maybe if the baseball game on had been less one sided (the Mets got their runs early and held on to them) ---I would have lost myself a little more, but it was, and so when I left, the sun was still out. Some fatigue, but far too early to go home. Finally I decided to jump on the M, and visit South fourth, always a meaningful option, since I know so many people there. And my stomach asked for a beer. So that was where I went---and the result---kind of uneventful. Eric, my friend the manager, was there---and there was a stand up night that was not an open mike, but the comedy that I heard fell flat---there was a lot of noise, and there was not a lot of conversation. So I left, around 9:45---at least I was tired, and I had not simply gone home after the meal at La Flaca.
  So I am always faced with a choice--do I want to go to a bar that I have never been in before, that, on my journeys, looks like it might be fun, or do I want to go to South Fourth, or La Flaca, where I am a known entity. I will face somewhat of the same situation tonight---no plans as yet. Many new bars that I have been eager to try--one in Green Point, opposite the book store, one in deep Bushwick, by the Wilson Avenue station (that is deep!), one or two in the south slope that have looked interesting to me on my journeys. And what about Sunny's that very warm and friendly place in Red Hook, which now is open every evening. Oh God, life is complicated!! Hay, we could check out the Brooklyn Museum, which is opened late this evening---another choice.
  The weekend is kind of set---on Friday there is a rally for a woman who died in police custody, when they would not give her her medication---this was three years ago, and then on Saturday there is a discussion at Bronx Documentary Center, that I should check out. I have not been there since the momentous forum about the killings in the south bronx precinct that the Center lives in. Also, Saturday is the party for MTop, the activist group in Flatbush that I believe very much in supporting. So it will mean traveling from Manhattan to Brooklyn to the Bronx, and then back home---a somewhat long commute.
 You know what? Writing this blog has taken away some of my "torpor"---yes, putting words and ideas together is kind of fun. Will report on tonight's "adventure' tomorrow.

just got some nice....

news,,,my friend Tessa, the sister of my friend Todd, whose birthday it was on Saturday, let me know what Sundays she would be available in DC, if I came down to visit. I think it comes down to two choices---the 6th or the 27th. The first would allow me to try to catch a performance of An Octoroon at Wooly Mammoth, but would be harder to negotiate transportation wise. The second would cost less, and let me take an Amtrak for a reasonable price, but...well simply not sure. But it was good to hear from her---now I just have to make up my mind.
Last night---my job at getting a ticket for Midsummer was muted by the production, which I did not like. It is very obvious and "out there". Only one or two performances worked for me, and I found no unity in the way the director conceived of the three groups. Titania and her retinue as senior citizens? An interesting idea, but why? And what does it mean about their power of the mortals. Never explored. After the first act---I left.
  Then I took an interesting walk from the theater, north on Columbus Avenue with my destination the Dive bar on Amsterdam off 96th street. The place was as little less crowded than usual, and they have a 5 piece wing plate that is only $6.00, a bargain around here. I came their to watch the games, but the bartender, Brittany, was very warm and friendly, and I also touched base with another wait person, Olivia---who talks theater with me. They will both be there every Tuesday, while Brittany told me she works Monday night at a neighboring bar, which I have never been to. Nice to know that I can touch base there. Well, to quote (or kind of quote) Tennesee Williams, "I have always depended on the kindness of bartenders".
What else? Well, today is kind of open---the plan is to do a lot of  reading---Adjani's play Marie Antoinette, and I would like to begin to explore Marlowe's The Massacre of Paris, and see if I can find some Shakespeare similarities. After that, it is all improv. Lots of movies around, but not sure if that is what I want. At any rate, with all the problems in the world and the city, I find myself in a nice place. Will report on today's "adventures" tomorrow.

a "dream" and a....

blowup. First the "Dream": Cityboy just was third in a lottery drawing at the Public and was able to get a vouher (that must be redeemed later) for tonight's performance at the Delacourt. Is there any Shakespearean play that I have seen more than A Midsummer Night's Dream? I doubt it. My first performance of it was at the Metropolitan Opera House--I must have been around 11--in a production directed by Robert Helpmann. Lots of choreography---I remember the Puck, running from place to place. My memory is I was enthralled by it--after that, many other productions, including the Peter Brook one in January 1970---one upstairs in a restaurant-bar in Cobble Hill, that I liked very much. and, more recently, the one that Friends Seminary performed in December of last year. And of course, the amazing Balacnhine ballet, perhaps my favorite production of all. Yet, though perhaps you may say I am "sated" by two many Dreams, I am really looking forward to this one. Lots of interesting casting; I am interested to see the choices that these actors and the director make. Will report on  it tomorrow.
   Last night, an interesting night. Hunger set in around 7, but I was tired, no long trip in the offing. Instead, I opted for the hummus place on Broadway between 70th and 71street. Ordered the hummus sandwich---picked it up, but the place was crowded, I was annoyed by the crowd---super young---and I bypassed a table near the vegetable stand to move to the back. One group had their luggage stacked in the aisle. Maybe this is what set me off---I was also carrying a book with the tray, but as I began to sit down, something happened and my sandwich dropped to the floor. I wanted to EXPLODE. I was sure I would not get this one replaced---plus there seemed like a long line to get the the cashier, who was also ordering. Feeling frustrated. I slammed my tray to the table---made a very loud noise---but no one responded. I picked up the sandwich---luckily only a bit of the front was touched by the dirt on the rug leading to the door. The paper pocket had saved the rest. What should I do? Just leave---really frustrated and explosive. Then I decided I would eat the part that had not been touched by dirt---and I continued to do so. Actually, it soothed my stomach, which was what it was intended to do. But I just felt the place was so hostile and self involved. Once again, no one said anything to me, so there will be no repercussions---still I felt enraged, and that I had put myself in danger. (How, not sure?) Finally left, walked down to Lincoln Center, waited for the 11 bus (a long time, what else is new?) and went to Lansdowne Road, my baseball bar in 44th and 10th Avenue. Thank God I did, the place was very quiet---lots of chances to watch the Mets and Yankee games in an un hassled atomostphere---and a nice conversation with an actor who goes there often, who is about my age (probably a little younger). When I left about two hours later, I felt calm, and luckily, a bus was right there, so I got home soon. No further problems.
   So that is it---will report about the "dream" and any after party tomorrow.

quite a weekend...

for cityboy---conversations galore---lots of information shared. No reports of either plays or movies--maybe that is a "good" thing.
Saturday: the afternoon centered around a birthday party--my friend Todd, a film maker who lives in Williamsburg. As I stated before, both his sisters---Tessa and Taylor are Hopkins graduates, so that was a terrific conversation beginner. Both girls were very nice---I had  a long conversation with Tessa, who lives in DC. She is very observant. We both agreed that DC (like NY) is a great walking city---and she invited me to spend an afternoon, later this summer, walking visiting DC and going for a long walk. Sounds like fun---we will see how this develops, Lots of other interesting conversations as well---a film maker, who has seen many American films and can discuss them carefully and a former newspaper reporter, who won a Pulitzer for reporting on Katrina's effects in Mississippi. Really viable and interesting people. I left about 7, wandered through Williamsburg a bit, then headed home, even though it was early. I was really tired. Slept "decently"---not much more to say.
 Yesterday spent the early afternoon watching baseball at Cobra---had a very interesting talk with a man named Matthew who had spent most of the night before at the House of Yes, a "club" of sorts that sits next to Cobra. Very interesting place, lots of making out, according to him, but the vibe was not competitive, just laid back. (Would you feel competitive if you went there cityboy?)  He made it sound interesting---will I follow up and go there myself? Not sure---no immediate plans. I left Cobra around 3---not sure where I would go. I wound up giving directions to a gentleman going to Wilson Avenue and Jefferson Avenue (still Bushwick) and out of gratitude he offered me a lift there. Since I was planning to talk the B60 bus that way on Wilson, I agreed. He let me off on Wilson and Jefferson. That is about 11 or 12 blocks past Myrtle. Interesting how once past Myrtle, everything changes---much less development---on Jefferson I walked west (I guess it is west) to Bushwick Avenue then walked towards Queens on Bushwick.  I thought I might check out a bar called the Evergreen on Moffat and Evergreen, but even from Jefferson, that was a long walk. Wow! Did not realize how far Bushwick went. I ended up heading to Broadway, exploring a little bit of the first Bed-Stuy street of Decatur. This is deep southeast Bed-Stuy. Still some beautiful architecture. Finally decided that best idea was to take the J or M to Marcy, and begin my walk to South Fourth.
    I feel a strong need to take a long walk down Broadway (Brooklyn) beginning at about Myrtle and going all the way to the Junction. I really want to see how all the north south streets begin there, as the east west streets meld into Bushwick. Somehow this all fascinates me at this moment. Yes, Brooklyn is amazing, one could walk forever there. Anyway, that is the goal.
   At South fourth, some interesting conversations---one of the women I met at Todd's party dropped by with her boy friend---and Eric, the manager gave me a very strong description of the Hamlet, playing at the Public, with Oscar Isaacs. His description made me really anxious to see it--but the cost---maybe one of my friends can do today tix for it. See, cityboy, that is what you get for refusing to get a phone with apps.
  Plans for this evening not clear: will report tomorrow.

so cityboy went....

to see Thief, the Michael Mann movie, made in the early eighties, starring an intense James Caan. This is a harsh, brutal film, very well shot--Caan plays a professional thief who is often close to psychopathic. There is a lot of ugliness in this movie---was it riveting? Somewhat. But my focus never shifted, there was always something, some color, some focus to look at. Mann is an incredibly strong film maker---I hope to see Heat later this summer, when it is shown at the Metrograph.
   Just found out that I could have seen a free showing of Get Out, a movie that I have heard so much about but have not been able to see. Sad, I would have liked to...but the message got to me too late.
  After the movie, which was shown at BAM, I was tired, but promised myself I would not just scoot home---and since it was the first day back after the all star game for major league baseball, and Mullane's was very close to the cinema---went there for a beer. It's a nice place, I am getting comfortable there---but last night no conversation---was able to watch the Yankee Red Sox game for about two innings---actually Doyle, the gentleman whom I had spoken with there on Tuesday made an appearance, but he sat at the other end of the bar---I did not make any attempt to go over to him and start a conversation. I think I was in a very "James Caan" mode---ready to curse anyone out who either got in my way, or said something about baseball that I disagreed with. Luckily no chance for that happened---I curbed my "inner fury", payed for my drink and walked to the Q train for the trip home.
 This morning, feeling very optimistic and independent---a birthday party for a friend of mine is planned for the afternoon in Williamsburg, so that is what I am looking forward to. The birthday person, my friend Todd, has two sisters who graduated from Hopkins---so they should be fun to talk to. There is also an activist picnic this afternoon in Prospect Park---I would love to go to that as well, but it is about at the same time---and getting from the Park to Williamsburg---well, even with cityboy's incredible ingenuity about navigating Brooklyn--this seems like a tough stretch, so I will simply opt for the party. After that..? Well who knows. I made a decision not to make plans for the evening---I just wanted to go to the party and let what happens , happen and take it from there. So it could mean anything. I am not really up for another movie this weekend, but nothing is etched in stone. Lots of other options---I long to take a long walk around the streets---Union, Crown, Montgomery---that form  the epicenter of Southern Crown Heights---the heart of the next gentrification battleground--but don't know if I will do that today or tomorrow.
   Tentative schedule for tomorrow is to begin my Brooklyn visit at Cobra---hang out with bartender Matt and watch some baseball---then the journey continues, and I usually end up at South Fourth. I might contact my friend Zach, who lives in Williamsburg about visit in the late afternoon or evening--got to catch up with him, and that is always fun. Anyway, will report on Monday...

quite a dream.....

cityboy experienced last night. What was it? Well, I am on 145 street and the school (Friends) has for some reason moved a little west of where I am.  I have placed the school where the library is on 145th street and Amersterdam. I am in a coffee shop a few blocks east, with about 15 minutes to go before the next class I have to cover. Two parents come over to me and show me pictures of their kids (I think they are from the middle school) in a theater or chorus project. The parents are glowing, and I go along with this, wondering however, if this conversation will make me late for my class. A little anxious. Finally they go, and I start to move west, but I am faced with a very steep hill, and have to climb up steps to get to the next block. Why did I not see this before? What if I am late, will the school understand---I climb the steps---look for the next block, and find to my great surprise that instead of the next block, I have isolated myself on the top climb---plus it is cold and I left my long sleeve shirt at the restaurant--now I have to climb down---and I will be late to the class. As I look down from the top rung, the steps have disappeared and are replaced by a vertical ladder that I must climb down to get to the next safety level. Should I ask for help? Call the police to help me down? And this is when I wake up--stunned at the anxiety the dream has caused me. Why did I choose this dream? How can I interpret it? Do I feel that I am taking a tremendous risk simply by moving through the summer?  Strange indeed.
       Last night: after the session with my student, which, went very well, by the way, I felt too tired to attend the East Harlem rally on 119street and 3rd Avenue---on returning home I fell immediately to sleep. When I woke, I was determined to see a movie, and settled on Bronx Gothic--a documentary about a performance artist performing a play about being young in the Bronx. This was a movie I felt I had to see, and even if it meant paying $6.00 more for an evening showing (at the film forum) it was important that I check it out. Made the 9:10 show---the movie is fascinating for its story of the performer's life (her parents were Nigerian immigrants who were able to raise their children in Parkchester) but suffers the performers kind of over-hubris and the repetitiveness of her presentation---which is about she and her best friend at age 11 in the Bronx. A lot of anger and nasty recriminations as the two talk about sex---but somehow it came off as kind of repetitive.  The performer, for all her passionate intentions came off a little too self involved. After the movie I toyed with going to a bar in the neighborhood, but was too tired and returned home. Perhaps I should have forced myself to get a beer in a new bar---it might have changed the dream or perhaps even eliminated it, but I did not. Tonight I will have the same set of choices: where to go---how much stimulation to give myself---will one more event or challenge in the evening spark something that will make me feel that I have fulfilled my potential? No particular plan right now, just want to continue reading the Vennie book for the rest of the afternoon. Then we will see.
  Let's leave it at that---will report how it all turned out tomorrow.

last night...

a strange one. I delivered my shirt to Justin, received my money---he works in a black owned bar on Nostrand, a little south of Atlantic, before you hit Pacific Street. A nice bar--he told me it was run by two black ladies---the four or five bar people were mostly black. The bartender---who might be one of the owners---treated me very kindly, while I was waiting for Justin. Then on to Morgan Avenue to see Friends graduate Shannon and her band mate play. The venue, One Wicked Lady, is pretty far north on Morgan, I have traveled on Morgan many times, but never this far north. Kind of deserted around there, though, of course, some bars have worked their way through. I looked forward to seeing Shannon and her band mate, but it was not to be. When i arrived, they were at the door---the flyer said they would perform at 8, but actually the other bands were starting then, and their band, the Shacks, would not be on until 11. Bummer! It was about 7:50, and I just did not think that I could survive about three hours of bands that I did not know. Shannon and her friend were very nice about it---I will try to see her again, but I felt let down. Walked south on Morgan and then on Bogart, the next block---maybe I could see Get Out, which was playing at Syndicated, but no---it had already started. What then? Maybe trivia at Pine Box Rock Shop, but looked too crowded, and I did not really want to play. I finally decided to take the L to Metropolitan and walk to South fourth---grab some pizza before hand, and "hang'. That is what I did--imagine my surprise when I arrived at the bar and found out that I hit the opening of a neighborhood painter---showing some very wacky, alive paintings in a cartoon mode. I know the gentleman---he thanked me profusely for taking the time out to attend--ironic, since it was just an accident. But I am glad I did; his work is certainly very talented.
Not a lot of conversation, though, and I left still feeling a little let down, which is how I felt this morning when I awoke.
   This morning I started reading the Quentin Vennie autobiography---like the one written by Jim Saint Germain, this also describes a young black man, growing up in a brutally disfunctional family situation---and being able to find a way to move out of it. He grew up in Baltimore, in the Park Heights section---that avenue (Park Heights) he calls one of the most dangerous in the city. That was the late 80's---when i was at Hopkins (early sixties) it was still a very fashionable and safe Jewish area. Like most of the Bronx and parts of Brooklyn, its transformation took place in the late sixties, as the Jewish population moved out---the older ones to the suburbs, and the younger ones---all geared to high achievement--to the many options the world at that time presented them with. Still it is strange to  consider the street where I watched so many families celebrate Yom Kippur on Saturdays in both 60 and 63---all dressed in a kind of expensive Jewish finery---as a kind of jungle.
  The rest of today---well there is  a protest about the East Harlem rezoning plan on 119th and third avenue at 6, and my plan is to be there. After that..not sure. Still no baseball to watch until tomorrow. And speaking of tomorrow, there is a possibility that I will see two movies---maybe---really a few that I would like to see--but that will have to wait. Will report tomorrow.

so many things going...

round in my mind, at this moment---hard to separate, but anyway:
Last night, participated in the discussion at JACK with its theme of Reparations---a series of discussions that the space has been presenting all year, and will continue through next January.
This one had two speakers: one was a Native American and the other a woman of Japanese descent who discussed the reparation money the American government had given them in the past 30 years.
The money was for that lost by the Japanese citizens of the US when they were interned during World War II. For the Native Americans, it was for the land from the tribes that the government had taken over the years. That money has not been touched by the Native Americans; it is in an IRA fund---it is not what they really want. The presentations were interesting, the discussions afterwards a little boring, but ultimately, I am really glad that I went. The room was made up of a very diverse group, I would say 50% per cent black, the rest, white, Native American and Asian. Yes, there were moments when I thought the presentation went on too long, or some of the comments were too self involved, but, now with a day's hindsight I think it was important for me to be there--and I definitely want to go to the forums in August--they will be moderated by a playwright and poet named Carl, whom I was very friendly with about 20 years ago.
Afterwards, walked west on Fulton, to the BAM epicenter, (I usually do this---it is a short walk and nicer than taking the subway right away), found a pizza store that I like very much and after the pizza, headed to Mullane's a sports bar near by, to watch the All Star game and have a beer. Mullane's is a very male oriented bar---some couples and groups but a lot of men alone or men in groups watching sports events. The staff is incredibly nice, and I feel comfortable there. Had my beer and got into a nice discussion with the gentleman sitting next to me named Doyle. An "older" man, which means he seemed to be a little younger than myself. What did we discuss?  Well, the game (which I find slightly irrelevant---at this point the next morning, I don't even know who won) , and other friendly "bar chit chat" which means some ironic jokes, some comparisons of experience, and a general sense of the enjoyment (however brief) of the other's company. No discussions of politics or neighborhood problems. After a while he left, and I watched the game and drank my beer in relative quiet.
Returned on the 2 which I picked up at Nevins---read a short story by a novelist whom in the past I had found slightly interesting, but her short stories---and a great short story is a wonderful thing---seemed manufactured---throw aways, kind of meaningless. I just returned this book to the library, along with Capote's Breakfast at Tiffany's, which I really enjoyed. Lots to read in today's Village Voice, so that will probably fill some time until the next book.
This evening: first stop, a bar on Nostrand, just south of Atlantic, to deliver a Brooklyn is Not For Sale tea shirt to a man named Justin, who is a cook at that bar. He saw my shirt on Saturday as I was walking north on Nostrand, and we got into a discussion about gentrification in the area. The upshot was that he said he wanted a shirt, and I told him I would buy one for him at the meeting on Monday. So I did, and I will visit his bar with the shirt tonight. Afterwards it is off to a performance space-bar on Morgan Avenue in East WIlliamsburg to see a band with Shannon, a Friends graduate, and her partner. Another bar in the area for city boy to be aware of---can't be all bad.
    Anyway, I will report on these events tomorrow...

after the meeting....

it happened! What do I mean. Well, on the next block over from 24th street there sits a Greek Diner, one that has been there for many years. Sometimes I go in there after the BAN meetings and order coffee and a cheese danish. Yesterday, I was pleased that instead of the danish, I ordered a cantelope.
Not a great cantelope by any means, but it kept me whole. Then the check came. UNBELIEVABLE! For a coffee and cantelope, after tax, before the tip, the cost: $8.40. Come on! Plus I had to leave a dollar tip. That is $9.40 for those two objects. I was very nice about paying it, but inside, I was enraged  Where are we going with this? Must I expect to pay $13.00 for the same thing in four or five years? I understand that the diner has probably absorbed several rent increases, and since there is no commercial rent control, they are probably at the mercy of the "benevolence" of their landlord. But even so, $9.40? We must have some form of commercial rent control---how can you get homeless people out of the shelters and into subsidized apartments and keep them solvent when the cost of goods and services keeps going up. And what about all of those families and individuals on fixed income. Okay so I learned my lesson--I will avoid that place from now on---but for God's sake!

I wanted to post this on facebook, but I did not.Why? Concerned that my statements would be too confronting, that people would withdraw? Well, there is still plenty of time for that.

the BAN meeting was productive---some newcomers were absorbed nicely into the normal group. They seemed to want to participate. Today I will go to JACK to participate in the Reparations series that they are sponsoring. Looking forward to it. Not much else to say---will report tomorrow on the night at Jack and its surrounding environs.

frustrated because.....

I read a terrific article in the Daily News Opinion section yesterday and I can't find it on their web site, or if I google it--and I wanted all my friends and acquaintances to read it. It is titled: Two Nations, Read and Blue. It sees the current  President as only a small part of a larger problem, the disconnect between the urban cities of wealth and the rest of America. According to the article, these cities and their inhabitants have cut themselves off from the rest of America. Who? The tech class, the creative class, the moneyed class simply live in a world of their own. . It ends on a discouraging note---I think it is a very important statement. I will try to get it to as many people as possible.
(Maybe the authors have a facebook page.)
       Adventures of the weekend. When we left off, cityboy was about to embark to Brooklyn to due some polling for City Council candidate Fox. It was hot, and my partner and I canvassed three buildings on Crown Street, with very little success. We spoke to one or two people, but few were home, some would not answer the door, and it was hot. After three apartment houses, my partner and I had had enough, and we returned to the campaign headquarters. I informed Tyler, the leader there, that from now on, I would only help with data entry. That is as much as I can do; I want to dialogue with people, not knock on doors. Ironically, the street we canvassed on was the very one that Jim St Germain, the exciting author of A Stone of Hope, had grown up in. Only a few signs of the chaos and raucousness that he saw on that block sometimes 24 hours a day---later reading the end of the book, I found to my great astonishment that he still lives in the same apartment house. The whole vision of those streets and who is there now is fascinating to me---I must return and wander through those streets at some point in the future---during the summer.
After a slice of pizza, hunger still remained, and so I decided to have a blt at Mullanes---the sports bar, with the friendly service near BAM. I spent a lot of money (for me) but it was just something I had to do. The bartender was really nice; she saw my Brooklyn Is Not for Sale shirt, and was  impressed. What next?
   Well, I had walked a lot and climbed a lot of stairs, but I wanted to check out a movie---felt it was necessary---the BAM movie times were not good, so I slowly headed to Metrograph---love the energy of that place. Had two choices, settled on a new independent movie called, The Rehearsal---which was about a year in the life of young actors at an intense Canadian theater training school.
Well made, but it left me cold. I could not really see the point. Still, I loved soaking up the atmosphere in the lobby, and while I was waiting, read some really riveting chapters from The Devil Finds Work, a group of essays about the movies, by James Baldwin. 50 years ago (unbelievable!) I was put off by the very popular movie, In the Heat of the Night. Enjoyed reading Baldwin;s debunking of it---finally justified.
  Sunday, a day in Brooklyn. First hanging out at Cobra with bartender Matt, the musician and watching some baseball. Then a bit of "aimless" wandering, not sure what direction I wanted to head in, finally took the DeKalb bus into Bed-Stuy, and planned to take it to BAM, but it was crowded and slow, so I got off at Marcus Garvey and walked to Fulton. Very mellow, not much happening. From there, west on Fulton to Outpost for some Ice Coffee and some nice reading of Breakfast at Tiffany's (It gets much better as it builds), and then another long wait on Classon for a bus that would take me back to Williamsburg where I ended up at South Fourth. Glad that I did; I had a good conversation with friend Todd, a film maker, and met a new patron there, Nick, who does creative work at Vice.
I might be able to arrange an interview with the leaders of BAN with him. He seemed interested. Also there was a speech writer for DeBlasio---a little bit of a dangerous juxtaposition, but he seems like a nice guy. Left feeling excited by the conversation---and took the L home.
  Today a BAN meeting, some other issues, will report tomorrow.

the walk down....

third avenue---this walk, taken after a movie screening whose topic was cyber security and  then a panel which my friend Harlo, participatred in.  The screening and the talk was at a four year old work space called Neuhaus, on 25street a little east of Park Avenue. A fascinating space---cityboy walked in and immediately found it very alluring. Sort of a work space for elite idealists---if there is such a thing.
Closed off but social---perhaps a month long membership is what cityboy needs; there he could craft his "magnum opus", whatever that means. Or read, endlessly, better environment then a public library or one of the many coffee places around the city. It is something to consider, along with a lot of other things.
Anyway, the movie was penetrating if a little repetitive--the panel afterwards was really sharp---the essence of the discussion was how the consumer could take back his power (really his or her identity) from the internet. Some hung around afterwards, but cityboy did not. Time for a beer---and where better than on third avenue between 25th and 34th. So cityboy walked the walk, and looked into all the bars he passed (about seven or eight) making sure a baseball game was on, but alas, he did not feel comfortable venturing in to any of them. In the end, the walk continued to 42nd and Madison, at which point cityboy decided that a bus to 79nth street and then the cross town bus back to the west side, might be more appropriate. And that is what he did---the bus he took north on Madison was not very crowded, anyway, Madison, at that hour, seems like a ghost town. Got off on 77th sttreet---walked east for a block on 78th---noticed an older apartment house without a door man--amazing that those things are left around there---but yes, there is was---possibly cityboy himself might be living there at a low rent if he had found a space there in the late sixties. Sometimes the juxtaposition of residential Manhattan architecture is fascinating---at least that is what city boy found yesterday.
     The plan today: go to Ede Fox's campaign head quarters and possibly do a little data entry or maybe a little polling---though I really don't like to do that. Also, I will stop by the barbershop, north of Nostrand, and try to see if the two guys I spoke to last Saturday still want the Brooklyn is not for Sale t shirts. Have to arrange a plan to get it to them. After that choices abound---stay in Brooklyn for Catch at Invisible Dog space, or visit a Zine festival at Pete's But probably will head to Bronx Documentary Project (if I am not too tired for the opening of an exhibit there. Always fascinated by the visit---don't know what time it will end, will report soon.
 

cityboy returned from his...

travels, yesterday, and, feeling no pressure to do anything and having no plans, decided to nap for about an hour. The time was around 6, Imagine his surprise when he awoke at a little after 11. Amazing! Wow! He must have been really tired. First time in a long time this has happened---puts a crimp into my "every evening is an evening to go out" vision of life. Kind of disorienting---I did go out later to buy some chicken and coffee---then read a little and went to sleep.
   At the library near Columbia, I found the first of the two autobiographical books I was looking for.
A Stone of Hope, by Jim St Germain. The author was brought to southern Crown Heights in 2000, (then an all black community) and lived a life of isolation, rage and hostility until an arrest three years later turned him around. A vivid description of the jungle that was the blocks around where he lived in those four years. Crown Street near Nostrand. I read about the block, the isolation, the absence of any white or authority figures at all, the cramped apartments, the drugs being sold in the lobby, and I am amazed when I realize that this is exactly the next neighborhood to be gentrified---the very one that BAN is fighting to protect. Then it was a jungle, now the landlords salivate at the millenials who they hope will want to get apartments there, having been priced out of near by Prospect Heights, and southern Crown Heights. It is a great read---very intense--the author is very honest about his inner rage and his need to hurt anyone who he feels is an enemy, no matter what the consequences. Can't wait to get back to it this afternoon.
  This evening, my friend Harlo has invited me to a screening of documentary about security, after which she will participate in a panel on the subject. That will be my evening "adventure", might be followed up with a visit to a near by bar, or something like that. Will report tomorrow.
  I had hoped to book tickets for the TFANA Measure for Measure for Sunday evening, but it is not on TDF any more (it must have been taken off earlier today). Kind of annoyed about that--it only plays one more week---and "real" tickets are far too expensive. They have reasonable discounts for students and young people, but to my chagrin, they must believe that anyone over 40 can afford their prices (85-95). I guess in their head (and in the head of so many other  not for profit theaters) is that if you are white and over 60---you can afford to pay those prices. Well bleep them. I assume it will be on TDF next week---will try to see it then---if not---too bad.

a learning experience for

Cityboy last night---went to the Reading---had mixed feelings about the content---the piece is structured almost like an anti-play---anyway, afterwards, Sarah invited me to go with the some of the actors and their friends, and the playwright, to Northern Bell, the very mellow bar restaurant about half a block east on Metropolitan. Very glad that I did. I had a very strong theater discussion with Sarah, then before I left some nice contact with actress Lucy and her friend Elena ( a composer who will be having a song cycle performed at the Tank in August). As I left I realized how concretized  (I don't know if that is a real word, but that is how I feel) this whole experience left me. Very distant from some of the anxiety and "hunger" that I experience when I am alone. So maybe this is truly who you are. It is important that you let yourself be defined by the way other people see you. Why, because I think this is really an accurate vision. Now I am feeling upbeat and eager to continue the summer.
Not much else to report--may have a session today---I am waiting to hear---and also possibly go to Brooklyn to do some data entry. I should, my typing is excellent. I think this would be more important then checking out a movie, or simply "hanging out". I found two books that interest me---both are autobiographies of young black men who overcame bad beginnings to become successful. One was raised in a dangerous section in Baltimore, the other, a Haitian gentleman who came hear when he was 10 and lived in Crown Heights (this was before it became desirable). Both are at different libraries--I will at least try to pick up one this afternoon. Meanwhile last night I began Capote's Breakfast at Tiffanys---it is a nice, airy piece that captures the upper east side during World War II, when it did not cost a lot to live there---when "the rich" only occupied a small swath of Manhattan, and Lexington Avenue in the sixties and seventies, was "full of bars." A small book, easy to carry around on the subway, and it draws one in nicely.
Anyway, not sure about the rest of the day---or evening. I got in late last night and woke up fairly early--might have to make up some sleep, but then again---might not...

at the crossroads....

July 5---a long way from the beginning of the term at Friends. This was a long, hard weekend---too much free time---too much pressure on myself to stay with a "harsh" budget. And yet, it seems it will continue. How do we deal with this? Actually lots of  "events" coming up in the next two weeks--six out of the next nine days are already planned---but the waiting---my mind seems to race incredibly fast-can be difficult. So lets review what happened after Monday's blog.
Monday evening: the plan was to go to South Fourth and that is what I did. My friend Harlo, whom I had missed the night before by a few minutes was there---and we had a good conversation. She invited me to a panel on Friday night which will follow a movie about cyber-security. I accepted---sounds interesting and I want to give her support. Watched a bit of the Yankee game---then thought it would be nice to wander over to Pete's Candy Store, a bar-hangout about 12 blocks northeast of South Fourth. Took the trip---the most interesting part was walking east on North Ninth street---could not believe all the new buildings on the blocks between Driggs and Havemeyer. Very quiet in that area, also. But when I finally got to Pete's it looked extremely crowded,and, since I was not watching a musical act there, I decided not to go in. Began to get tired---and figured it might be nice to just return home. Walked a bit to Union, and then took the L back to 14th, etc. etc.
  Yesterday---July 4---in past years South Fourth had a cookout---lots of fun and people, this year for the second year in a row, it did not happen. But that is where I arrived, about 12:30 just in time to see the gross out hot dog eating contest on television. Chatted a bit with bartender Jimmy, a great guy then Harlo came in again---we did not talk much, as she seemed busy on her i-phone and I felt a lot had been said the day before. I watched much of the first part of the Yankee game---then took off for a "journey" through Brooklyn. But where? Found myself on the 46 bus which goes east on Broadway and finally turns south on Malcolm X Boulevard, which morphs into Utica Avenue. Nice trip---figured at Utica I would take the 4 to Brooklyn Museum stop and read a bit---but the train did not come for about 15 minutes, then it was announced that it would be another 15 minutes before the next train departed. Not for cityboy! Easier to walk---I told myself- especially since I had no basic destination. So I walked on the park grid that separates the north and south side of Eastern Parkway, between Schenectedy and Kingston Avenue. I remembered that if I had been raised in Brooklyn, if my parents had chosen to live and teach there, this could have been where I spent many weekend afternoons, fallen in love---chatted with elders, etc. Once an all Jewish neighborhood, just like mine on Pelham Parkway. And then it all changed. Early and mid sixties. We are so far away from that now, why should it matter? Memory---you hold on to the vision even as time moves further and further away. Where are all these other young people who were my contemporaries now?  Away? Dead? Anywhere?
The walk continued---I knew that a bus went west on St Johns Place, two blocks north, and so on Kingston I walked north, only to see a bus go by, just when I was across the street. Well, nothing left to do but continue walking--west on Saint Johns, passing some beautiful brownstones, the whole of these blocks are mostly brownstones, until I reached Nostrand. Finally another bus arrived, and I took it until it turned north on Washington. More walking continued, until I finally arrived at the coffee place I really like on Flatbush and Bergen. Time to pick the movie for tonight, I told myself, but at the same time, fatigue set in. Figured it was better just to head home and rest.
   And that is what I did. A long and fitful night---the usual conversations among the different parts of myself. Finally, the light arrived and the holiday was over.
  Tonight my friend Sarah is directing a reading at the Brick, will go, should be fun. Before that, I had asked Tyler, the campaign manager for Ede Fox, if I could do some data entry for him at her campaign headquarters, but do not want to risk getting tired, or being over exposed to the sun. Hate to cancel--cityboy never likes to go back on his word, but I think I will. Need to relax this afternoon, maybe even a visit to the Met (it is free) or something like that. Anyway, the blog is now over, will report tomorrow.

the weekend...

what happened after the Saturday blog post? Well, it was off to Nostrand and President, the Ede Fox headquarters, where again I was asked to visit apartment houses and talk to people about Ede. I really did not want to do it, and the area where we were sent--in gentrified Prospect Heights, near the Museum, was where the candidate had been a few days earlier. Our trip really produced nothing--people in that area, mostly white and self involved were disinterested and "nasty" in their responses. As I said to the young intern who was accompanying me, "there must be a better way of doing this".
And what do I want out of it. Am I beginning to feel detached? I told, Tyler, the campaign manager, that I could come around on Wednesday afternoon and do some date entry. Will follow up on that; that may be where I would be most helpful.
And it was hot! But as I walked north on the east side of Nostrand, a little past Eastern Parkway, on my way home, two gentlemen from the barbershop saw my Brooklyn Is Not For Sale shirt, and were excited by it. They wanted one for themselves--this was very heartening, the highlight of my Brooklyn visit---and I promised that I would get them one. Am working on it now.
That evening I returned to Brooklyn---but another part of it---Williamsburg to see a one woman show at the Brick. Earlier in the month, I had met the director and she had told me about this piece, part of the not normal festival at the Brick. I was a little tired after the campaigning, but once I arrived at the Lorimer station on the L, and hit the sidewalks, I felt invigorated! Something about being in that part of Williamsburg turned me on. I was happy to see the project---it was about a young woman's discovery of her lesbian feelings and how it dovetailed with her devotion and commitment to the Catholic Church. Unpretentious and honest, it had a nice innocence about it and held my interest---a little too long, but then that is a common problem with these projects. Saw my friend Sarah there and spoke to her for a while--she is directing a reading on Wednesday at 9, and I will go to that.Wandered around the Lorimer area for a little while after the play (a lovely night) and ended up having pizza at the place on Graham, a little north of the subway station---they make very good, very rick pizza.
    Sunday, followed up on my decision to go to the Museum of Moving Image and see the independent movie that Anthony Rapp starred in. A very strong movie about a man living an unhappy life in Schenectedy who is able to contact a young man in Jamaica with whom he starts an on line romance. The young man seems serious, but is he? Anthony gave a strongly realistic performance---I could tell he really believes in the script, and so did the actor playing his would be lover. The movie is intense---and great to watch in the screening room in the museum---some of the back story for Anthony's character stretches believeability, but the passion is there.
Also, this was my first time at the Museum---a really interesting and person friendly place, that I hope to return to soon.
 The Museum is in Astoria, and going to it gave me the chance to wander around a bit. Astoria still remains low lying---part of the route from the N train to the Museum, reminded me of my old neighborhood in the Bronx. I had a nice bagel and tuna fish near Steinway Street and then took the R, two stops to Hunters Point in LIC and got off. Had a very rich cheese danish at the local diner (fun to go into an old diner---they are becoming more and more extinct, and then since my stomach was full, decided to walk across the Kosciosko bridge which goes from LIC to Greenpoint. A long walk in the heat, but I was determined and I did it.
Finally, I ended up at South Fourth---just in time to find out that my friend Harlo had just left--so I hung out there for a while---finally felt tired from all the walking, and returned home.
I fell asleep very quickly, but then awoke around 1, and had trouble sleeping the rest of the way (too much ice coffee at South Fourth?) The usual recriminations and self ruminations, followed. Finally dawn approached, light came into the apartment, and I was free to go out and live through another day.

and so I did....

go to Sibyl's new music work reading after the library---and (thankfully), very few of the group that iI am friendly with was there (actually, I knew very few people there) so no one "bugged" me about seeing "everything". But in actuality, I figured it out, I must have seen 14 projects in June (including one possible one tonight at the Brick) and the cost was about $300.00. That is a lot of money for cityboy---still I plan to cut down in the next two months---what would I like to see..? Well, Oslo, for one, Fulfillment Center (I suppose) two, and Measure for Measure, three. Still fascinated by Shakespeare and his choices, actually I am now reading Edward II, by Marlowe--a really interesting play, with lots of echoes of the later Richard II. Very coherent dialogue, the plot is in two parts--the first detailing the King's infatuation with Gaveston, and the second, after the nobles have put to death Gaveston, the unraveling of his thrown. Lots of self awareness from Edward as he falls, but nowhere near the richness of Richard's pronouncements in Shakespeare's play bearing his name. Close to the end now, will probably also read the Massacre of Paris, another Marlowe play.
  I have just returned The Waves, the Virginia Woolf novel that I have finished half of. At some point I hope to complete the rest, but it was bogging down, I was feeling more obligated then anything else, to complete it. . I feel as if I almost need to disappear somewhere (like the main branch of the Brooklyn Public Library) and simply demand that I focus on it for the next couple of hours, in order to complete it.
  Just got a text from Tyler, the campaign manager for Ede Fox in Brooklyn, they are expecting me to do some volunteer work this afternoon, and I will do that. Down in the trenches---why do I feel I do not want to go, yet understand, that not going and"indulging" myself in a play or a movie would be a cop out. So of course I will go---I am upset by what is going on; I want to be active.
  Some thoughts about going to Mayday at some point and suggesting a panel about the Mayoral re-election. So far---nothing---a total void---when it comes to feelings about the Mayor, while every day he distances himself from the people who elected him and hoped that he would create a more egalitarian New York. So what? Another four years in the trenches for the community activists. Would like to explore this. Anyway, time to go, will report on all these goings on, and the one woman show I expect to see at the Brick, tomorrow or Monday.