saw Pavements, a film by Alex Ross Perry--why did I choose to see it? One of the actors in it, I had met several yetars ago, and it turns out another was actually a student at Friends until 8th grade---so that was a nice surprise. Tuesday evening at 8:15, did not expect much of a crowd, but space was filled, mostly, or almost completely with 20 or 30 somethings. I felt isolated--like this was definitely not my group.Had I made the wrong choice? But I had to deal with it---I set it up---chose to go----bought my ticket---so what could I do? The movie was an exclecticl but not real exploration of a nineties group called the Pavements. Young actors, like the two that I knew, acted their older counterparts, but there were interviews with the older band members as well. A real crazy quilt--in spite of my alienation I mostly was stimulated by it--but I left before it was over--the final half hour seemed to simply run in place---repeat what was done before. Walked to the subway on Houston---headed home---"adventure" over.
Yesterday was a strange day---the library where I tutor was closed for two days, and the students that I usually schedule for that day were not able to go to the next closest library. So I was free--just what I was wishing for--but intstead of a feeling of freedom and liberation--felt confused by the lack of structure. It did not help that the infusion that I got last Thursday pulled me down---made me feel tired at certain points. Oh well, it usually takes about a week to let the infusion come down to earth..Today, even as the 145 street library remains closed, at least one student and her mother are meeting me at the library at 161 street--where Saint Nicholas merges and crosses Amsterdam. Was there on Sunday---walking on Amsterdam around there, as opposed to the upper west side where I live was like being in another country. Obviously far more diverse, frenetic dynamic---whatever.
where do we go from here? Body has changed so much in the past five years, but still fantasize the pre pandemic world I inhabited---only to have my body "remind" me that much of it can't happen. Summer is coming, so I will have more free time--lots of reading---continuing going deeper into Shakespeare and his contemporaries among other things. And then there is the government---well we will see.
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