happy because I received an e-mail...

from Murray, my actor friend, complimenting me on my theater knowledge. Murray and I met by accident when he sat next to me (assigned seating) at Passover, the intense play presented upstairs at the Clara Tow Theater in above the Beaumont. We had a good conversation before the play began, I remembered his performance in the Landscape of the Body at the Public in September of 77, and we spoke a lot about that, also about Shakespeare. At any rate, his e-mail made me feel good---and strangely enough, a kind of vindication  for my year at Yale. Of course that was over 50 years ago, nevertheless, somehow this heals some of the residual pain (yes I still have it) from that year. When I leave the library, that whole experience (the Yale one) will seem like a novel or movie from my past, yet now it burns. Now, all sorts of memories of that time invade me,  the summer of 65 as I wondered aimlessly and sadly through the streets of the upper west side, trying to figure out how I had arrived at this sad and alienating moment. A year before I had just graduated Hopkins in triumph; that summer I worked in a playground, read and saw as many plays as possible, and essentially thought my future was one of great passion for the theater. Now, a year later, I had left home, was working for the department of welfare, traveling around sad and depressed areas of the Bronx, completely by myself. My parents were stunned by my leaving (although we had talked about it during the year) and the support that just being part of my family had given me, had disappeared. And of course, there was J, the woman I thought should be my girl friend, who had rejected me, somewhere in New Jersey, preparing for her Junior year at Goucher. Lots of thoughts about her as I wandered the streets of the west side. At that time, the area had a reputation for being unsafe, but to my surprise, lots of people were on the street at all times, and I could move around carefully, but freely. Well, it is time to leave the past.
Last night, attended the Crown Heights Tenants Union meeting, described the march on the 15th, got the endorsement for the march from the group. Nice group, I felt I had a lot of things to say and was proud of my contribution to the discussion and training sessions that was part of the evening, in addition to describing the march. A different energy from BAN---the BAN group is  a little more intense, and their anger is much more palpable. Left the meeting by myself, feeling very strong and focused And arrived..? Well, actually no where for me to go---stopped off at the Brooklyn Museum (still opened around 9) and grabbed a sandwich, then looked for a pizza place on Vanderbuilt, passed all the bars on that street--nothing that made me want to go in---had a nice slice of pizza and walked from Vanderbuilt and Dean through the four buildings that have been built as part of the Atlantic Yards project, caddy-corner to the Barclay's Center arena. Finally hit Flatbush---looked at the possibility of going into two bars for a beer before taking the train back to the upper west side, but thought better of it, simply got on the train at Bergen street and returned home. For all of cityboy's wanderlust, a bar where he is not known, still appears a little alienating if he is by himself.
  Tonight, will see my friend Zach in a play at the Ohio Space, maybe "hang" with him afterwards, if not...we will see; report tomorrow.