The "horror" that is Wooster Street

 Yesterday early evening. I return to the Performing Garage---certainly have not been there since the Pademic---to see a project performed by their high school summer group. From Canal east to Wooster, kind of a mess. Then Wooster and Canal to Wooster and Broome. All new luxery apartments! All of them! Remember when the space was small and barren? Well, that was practically 50 years ago---did you expect things not to change? Yes, I understand that, but somehow, walking along that street was overwhelming. Finally reached my destination---it began to rain and I was early so I stood under an awning near the theater, waiting to be admitted. And I looked South, at the street I had just walked on---I tried to envision the life or world of the street over the past 50 years. It was as if the last 50 years passed through my head. I think the first time I went to the Garage was around 78 or 79 to see one of their plays directed by Richard Schechner. The theater was building their reputation--this project had gotten good reviews---I I Iremember not being too impressed. Yes, that was the late seventies! Soho was just beginning to explode. Have seen several projects there since then---still...

Said hello to my friend Mike, who was one of the few adults in the presentation---touching base with him was the reason I was there. He was happy to see me---we talked a bit---he was surrounded by well wishers, as is usually the case, so I moved on. Just began to feel hungry---a Caeasar salad at a bar with a TV watching baseball would have been fine. So I walked north to find one---stopped at one or two and looked inside---but did not go in. Why? Since the pandemic stopped there are basically only two bar restaurants that I feel comfortable in--my friend Bob's on C and 9th, and the Fulton, in Brooklyn near BAM. Both too far away. If this was 5 years ago, I would have been comfortable checking out a new place, but now---I could feel my hesitation. Why? Is it the cancer...the ostomy bag (which is very manageable) or just some emotional image I have of myself of not being wanted or accepted in any new place. Restless and annoyed and very hungry---finally went to a grocery store near the Film forum and got a roast beef sandwich which I ate immediately on the street, Then, after a long and for some reason circuitous walk, got the 1 at Houston and returned home. Still angry at myself for not taking the risk of getting my salad at a bar--not sure where to go from here.

Now it is Saturday morning---I have a free day today---two students whom I usually tutor are off today---so lots of choices. Currently reading Appropriate---enjoying it will finish it today---maybe a movie or a trip to the Center for Fiction in Brooklyn--this evening there is a practically all Mozart concert at Geffen Hall---you know how I love Mozart--will get the streaming in the lobby--if that is what I choose to do. But not sure....