Having completed two tutoring sessions, and feeling good about it, all of a sudden stricken with what I would describe as a "lethargy fit". Walking back to the subway on 145th street my body seemed to want to collapse into itself. A very strong feeling---I was able to grab a sandwich from the CVS near my home and make it back. For the next four hours, a kind of seesaw---feeling weak, but able to go out and get some coffee and ice cream while that was going on. Now a few hours later, my body seems half way back---I am unable to sleep (I have tried it) and I feel too weak to go out. But where would I go? To my friends bar on Avenue C and ninth street? To Bushwick, and the Cobra Club, my pre-pandemic "haunt"? Can't do it. So I sit here, trying to exist in this physical "half_world". Did the fatigue come from a very active morning? Or from climibing up 3 flights of stairs during my tutoring sessions? How much can my body take? Not much to do, just wait it out---I have three students tomorrow, and I want to be there for them.
The city is awash in "culture"---plays, movie festivals, opera concerts---what more could one ask. Three years ago at this very time, it was very similar--now these gluts of off Broadway plays and the other events seem to even be more then March of 2020--before the city closed down. But it does not matter---I may dream of attending these events, but all I can do is observe---the tutoring exhausts me and even if I don't feel the fatigue that I feel now, it is hard for me to go far away from the apartment. So I accept the fact that I will mostly be an observer of the scene. When I have more time, I can always go to the Drama bookstore, and read the plays that I missed---that are being performed now.
Much more to discuss but it seems like my body is tiring again. Maybe this time I can sleep. We shall see, hopefully I can report soon.
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