Another Sunday morning---finally a little cool around here. What happens next? Try to come to terms with the results of the ct scan. My nurse practioner told me that they show that the lung nodules have gotten a little bigger---that surprised me, but nevertheless----and that the Doctor wants to give me stronger medication then simply the chemo pills that I am taking now. Really did not think that that was the information that I was going to receive. So what next? Well, they send my blood away and in two weeks the results come back to them---I see them a few days later, and based on the results they will ask me to receive the newer---and stronger---medication. How do I feel about that? Kind of apprehensive, since my side effects with the chemo pills have been fairly minimal. I do get extra tired at times, but usually, if I am out of the apartmant, I can work through it. Since I function totally by myself, I don't want to be put in a situation where I can't leave the apartment, or do my tutoring, or even subbing. People on the facebook page that has comments by cancer patients report strong and sometimes debilitating effects from other medications. Actually, my body, at this point, feels pretty strong--so maybe it will be able to cope with the new plan. Nothing to do but wait it out, and see. In the meantime....
Another library closing on west 145 street--where I tutor most of my students. Parents seem to have incentives to cancel when I tell them that the library is unavailable. Where does that leave me? Strapped for money--I have no idea how many sessions I will have this week--maybe as many as 4, maybe one--at any rate, I am budgeting like a madman, planning finances daily down to the very last nickel. I have some friends--namely my credit cards, which will help me out, but even with their availability I am trying to be careful. A wonderful performance at 54 below that i would love to see is this Friday or Saturday, but it is a lot of money--don't know if I can make it--will probably fight with myself before I decide. Well, one can always enjoy the challenge, and there is a lot I want to read.
Movies are exciting me---last one was Duel In the Sun, an amazing western, beautifully made, part of the Lincoln Center King Vidor retrospective. Jennifer Jones played the "innocent" beauty who is sent to live with an aunt---who has two twenty something sons, who of course becomes infatuated with her. Joseph Cotten plays the mild mannered, careful one, while the other, a brutal sociopath who makes his own laws and mostly gets away with it is played by---are you ready for this---Gregory Peck. Yes, about 16 years before To Kill a Mockingbird, Peck creates a man who flaunts all the rules. As I watched him, it was like experiencing the yin to Atticus Finch's yang. The movie itself is quite remarkable, not just for its characters but for its beautiful scenes of the old west. Felt very complete when I left.
So that is it. Have really enjoyed the writing of this---will report soon.
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