er this morning---early---around 6:45---always up at that time---watched highlights of Saturday'sb. Baltimore Orioles victory over the Guardians. Felt drawn in and excited by those highlights---wonder if I should purchase the baseball package that would let me watch all Oriole, and some other games as they take place. I follow the Orioles because a. they are more interesting and competitive this year then they have been in a while and b. my connection with the city; my hunger for its energy, which i have not let go in now almost 60 years. 58 years ago, almost to the day, I graduated from Hopkins---should have been the end of my interest in this city---instead, I have continued to be "haunted" by it---trying to understand its "life" (for want of a better word) as the years have passed. Pre pandemic, I usually visited once a year for a day or so, and in addition to going to the ball park (not as much fun as the fantasy of it) depending on where i was, I woud walk endlessly from neighborhood to neighborhood as I tried to imagine a life for myself there. Of course I am aware of the city's "division"---the world of the poor black neighborhoods totally cut off from the "white" world that I wonder around in---a world for consumers---laid back individuals--and newly built apartments--yetm I still want to understand what is going on there.
The whole story of my four years at Hopkins--could I write about that. Like Henr;ty Roth, looking back from a long period in the future to let memory go. So many meaningful memories--those four years ins some ways shaped me---allowed me to return to theater in my late thirties with a lot of knowledge that only happened in my last year there. What do you want to remember...? The heat...always unique to itself, your HEAT in your final year there...? "Intense and comlicated"---she said "intense and complicated" in your last conversation over the phone---the night before I graduated. So I have always thought of myself, somewhat in that way---can't let it go. But the next day happened---I graduated---drove back to the Bronx with my brother and parents---and it was over.
Last night walked over to Lincoln Center---now alive with people. It has been turned into a social circus--a little grotesque, but with people swarming all over it. Maybe just a place to "be" in the early evening. Decided not to see a movie at their theater--that was the only choice possible to lose oneself in at that time. The city continues to open up with a vengence. So many choices....etc.
Exhausted from this output--should continue the rest of the day,,,will report soon.
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