but it did not happen....

by now that is old news, But I should have written about it before. The ct scan and mri was canceled because the person who  made the appointment from the oncolgist's office did not coordinate with my medicare provider. All hell broke loose! At least in my head, When calm was restored, it was promised that they would make the appointment again---and now a week later---I am still waiting. Should find out dates soon. I did see my two other doctors, however, and the results were decent. My surgeon must see the results of the two tests before he decides his course of action. 

Being in limbo is not hard. In fact I kind of like it. Strange world I am living in now---it totally centers on me---the outside world seems pushed away. But I want to get back to it---going out for my 6:30 coffee, I remembered that when I was tutoring in the Bronx, I would get coffee from a truck that sat outside the Simpson Street station. That is a poor neighborhood, standing in line with the other customers, all of whom were hispanic, I felt a good sense of energy. I would long to go back there again--just get on the 2 train and go---but of course, too many things stop me now. Every day I remember and go over in my mind streets in Brooklyn---in Bed Stuy, Bushwick, Park Slope---still not able to return. That should be my project as I continue this wait---there must be a way I can at least make a short trip without worrying about "the bag". We will see. 

Yesterday began at 3A.M. when the window pane that was attached to the broken one that was holding on, fell off, exposing me to the elements. Not so bad---it was fairly warm; if that had happened the night before when it was in the low forties, it would have been scary. Got through it---did not sleep, got the handyman to come---he made some decent adjustments, but now a new window is needed. By the evening, I was pretty tired---went to bed around 7,---almost slept straight through to 5:30---body decimated. I guess I needed all that time in bed, just to recover, emotionally and physically. Now at aroundd 7 A.M. legs are spindly, but the rest of my body is relaxed and easy. 

Lots of small tasks today---also hope to finish Rodham---Curtis Sittenfeld's take on Hilary's alternative life--she writes very well (Sittenfeld, that is) and it is a good read. Not sure what will be next. Will report soon.