can it get....

much worse? Why, What happened. Well, I just found out that tomorrow's debate team voyage to Stuyvesant has been called off-so possibly no work at Friends at all this week. I have one next week, but a heavy snow is possibly scheduled for that day so......Is it possible that I will really have to check out the possibility of working in other schools? Sounds impossible, but the way things are going.....
  Of course it is always possible that I am over reacting--that the work will return soon (last week, remember, I worked all four days). But not very much in advance...well, we will see.
  The visit to the social worker was productive. No real discussion of feelings, but she did give me some relaxation exercises to take the week of the procedure---and assured me it was a simple one. Also, no charge for the visit. Possibly should try to find some real therapy to help me "untangle" my feelings about the colonoscopy---if I have the time I might explore that. If I were to go into therapy again, would see myself as the "leader"---choosing the areas that I would like to discuss. Very different from when I was younger.
  Last night was no different from the night before---except that I did make a longer trip outside the apartment. Still very tired after the one session---came home, slept a little, then decided to chance the outside. Could not travel, yet tried to catch a northbound 104 to go to about 100th street. Saw the bus at an earlier station---knew that I would have to run to catch it, and as I crossed 77th street and Broadway, running full steam, I tripped on a crack and fell hard. But only hurt left hand and knee a little. Still, not a good omen for the rest of the evening. Ended up having a large smoothy at the gym on 92nd and Broadway---very good, but then simply returned home. Not really up for a beer---stomach did not want it, so no bar activity.
   Today is a little different---after 6 I will be free. Still trying to explore my options (assuming that I won't be tired); also the money issue is important. Would like to visit the bar in Bed Stuy where a friend of mine works, but it is equidistant between the G and the C, and on a cold night.....
 Well, let it be, will report tomorrow.