melancholy.....

this will be only the second week in which i have worked only one day at Friends. This has left me feeling very melancholic---next week there is one day definite, but wonder if I will be called the others. The place is very much part of my life--other things are working well, lots of session scheduled for tomorrow, but feel a sadness at being "excluded" from the energy of the school. Well, I do have a three day commitment scheduled for the first week the school is reopened, after the spring break, and also a few other assignments. Probably should take it easy---who knows what could happen next week. Still, it was not so long ago, that I took two full assignments and was offered a third. Strange contrast.
Tomorrow, as I said,  a full day of sessions, Sunday an easy day, hope to spend the early evening at South Fourth, something I have not been able to do for two weeks. Will probably see something today, but not sure what. Will be guided by the moment.
Austers' novel continues to amaze. He is trying to novelize the beginning of the writer's vision of himself. Coming towards the end now, about 100 pages left.
What is left for today's blog? How about one memory, one vision from the past--something to move out of this funk that I feel now.
What about Hopkins? Four different years, four years of being a different person. If I were novelizing it, I would begin on the first day I arrived there, late in September (for in those days the first semester began October 1st and went until mid January) -my first memory is that of the heat---outside the dormitory. Baltimore heat seemed more intense then Bronx heat. Maybe because the landscape was far more low lying. Better? How about the Friday evening in early March of my freshman year, when it seemed like spring was about to break---feeling restless--almost running through parts of the campus. Again looking for something from Baltimore totally different from my New York experience. How would Auster recreate those experiences? Differently than myself? Thoughts that might be worked through---I am in such a different place now---will continue the report tomorrow.