strange two days.....

after lesson on Saturday afternoon, proceeded to Jack (performance space) in Brooklyn for play that was highly recommended to me by another playwright who I like and trust. Good idea for I saw lots of people there that I knew, and found out about another project at Columbia Grad school that will be next week. But the play was indulgent and overlong---last twenty or so minutes really got me angry, almost told them off while the play was going on, but did not. Anyway, afterwards, was intrigued by a new bar right around the corner from Jack, thought I would go in and have a beer, but was intimidated by large and mostly young crowd, decided not to, then not sure of what to do, finally took
Fulton Street bus west to around BAM, had a nice slice of pizza but then again decided not to top it off with a beer at Mullanes (a bar near there) Have been getting very uptight re going into bars that look intriguing from the outside, but then when it is time to explore......Anyway, returned home, had some cheesecake (really good but unnecessary) and went to bed.
On Sunday, had cancellations on my own, saw great movie, Losing Ground at Walter Reade, intelligent, beautifully acted (great performance by Seret Scott) very stimulating.
Afterwards not sure of what to do, how much to spend, Original idea was to return to Jack where they were having some readings of anti lynching plays, written in the early twentieth century. Did not do it, felt tired, rested a while, then when it was time to go out, opted for Toast, a bar restaurant near Columbia; I used to be a regular there around 2004-05. Bar was empty, watched basketball, bartender nice but distant, none of the other staff members seemed interested, second visit in a week, nice energy but kind of a cold place, though of course it all depends on who is sitting near you...can't control that, anyway spend most of time on my own. Must remember to push myself to go out to "my" bars in Brooklyn, where the people are more friendly, even if I am tired. Will be better as the cold lets up. Returned home, no calls from Friends, went to bed.
Had strange dream----I am tutoring in an apartment on Tremont Avenue and Grand Concourse, Bronx, an area where, when I was young, was all white. Now is mostly black and lower class, I am about to leave, aware that I will be waiting for a bus alone in an all minority area, not scared by the idea, but the mother of the child I tutor, suggests that I wait to get a lift from two friends of hers, one of whom I see is white. As I consider her request, I realize that I am not going back to Manhattan where I live now, but am planning to take another bus at Fordham Road (it runs perpendicular to Concourse) to the apartment on Thwaites Place that I was born in. Strange! What does it mean...?
Still kind of rocked by it.
Today, after Genesis, will go to Friends and see Kristof and Charmayeff speak at 7. After that....