tuesday morning,

already got my hair cut, worked yesterday at Friends, as usual enjoyed it, then tutored Genesis, had a terrible tuna fish sandwich (cost $8.80 with tip) and then home, asleep in a matter of minutes, so it seems.
Nice day today, will see what the future brings, interesting day Sunday, almost forgot about it, though two nights ago I was haunted by the vision of the trip. After stopping off to see Susan at Cobra, needed to walk, walked the with of Bushwick (Wycoff to Broadway), but then what...? Finally decided to take bus up Utica to Eastern Parkway, Arrived there soon...then challenged myself to walk east towards Brownsville, not west towards the gentrified section. Took Union Ave to the park, then a block north back to the parkway. Three blocks east to Ralph Avenue, mostly all black people, but did see one young white woman entering an apartment house off Rochester Avenue on the Parkway. Continued to Ralph, then first block in Brownsville
(Pitkin Ave) one block to Howard, decided that that was as far as I wanted to go, doubled back to the Parkway (now the extension as it heads towards the junction) and hit the parkway again at Ralph. Stood for a long time at Ralph and the Parkway, watched people move back and forth, thought possibly of continuing on one of the two bus lines that stop on the corner, saw a Jamaican woman scream and hit her daughter (the woman was pregnant) for what seemed like no reason, followed them with my eyes, the daughter did not look damaged, still was upset, wondered if I should have followed them, maybe a few years ago I would have, this time wanted to avoid confrontation so I did not, continued standing for what seemed like a long time on Ralph and Eastern Parkway's northeast corner. Why? Looking for a neighborhood that you could have felt safe in when you were growing up; it would have been mostly Jewish then. Finally walked west towards Utica, passed a white young man carrying a table to what must have been a new apartment; he looked at me like "well, do you live in this neighborhood as well...?" also saw a white young woman walking her dog. Still most of the area, the deepest part of Crown Heights seems black and poor.
   Train at Utica to Franklin, got off at Franklin for some coffee, found myself, of course, in a completely different world, full of light, many white young people as well as black people on the block and of course the myriad coffee places and restaurants that line Franklin, gave me a feeling of security. Had coffee and then went home, received call from Micah for Friends assignment a little while after returning home.
During Sunday night awoke and asked myself why the fascination for visiting these "fringe' areas in Brooklyn, why did I do it? Still, want to do more, love to absorb the architecture of these different neighborhoods, see myself as a child visiting or living there. Still the comparison to the better off areas in the city is startling.
Franklin Ave seems like a dream world, next to eastern parkway and Ralph.
This evening will be determined by how I feel after 7, have not gotten out much on weekday evenings, maybe today will be the charm...