the kind of dialogue one can have with oneself when choosing something to read. Here I am in the middle of the brilliant Suite Francaise, by Irene Nemirovsky. Its depiction what those who left Paris as the Nazis arrived is tough and ultra realistic. Earlier today I was not sure I wanted to return to it---did i want to observe all that horror which seems never to end for the characters. It is an incredibly hot day, and I figured that I would spend most of the afternoon indoors (that may change, it is about 1 P.M. now, and I might need to get out). An earlier plan had me reading to Agatha Christie mystery that i just bought, maybe cover to cover. This is where the self-dialogue comes in---I think of the Christie and I know it won't touch me, but will absorb me. Like being with an easy going person. And then I think of Suite Francaise, and my inner voice tells me the going may be tough---but the experience will be much richer. So far I have stayed with it---it is enveloping me in its toughness, but I am becoming more attracted and easier with its depictions. Will probably stay with this for a while. That is the saga of the two books.
Time moves slowly today, but I am more relaxed. Less anticipation about the colonoscopy---it will arrive when it arrives. Had a good consultation with a therapist yesterday, which helped me center my feelings about the event.
That's really all---time to get back to the Nemirovsky, I think. Maybe check out MLB.com and see if the Yankee game will happen tonight. Just take it moment to moment.
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