two different nights....

Monday and Tuesday, two different experiences. On Monday, I fell asleep at 9, slept strong for about 5 hours, waking up at 2A.M., feeling totally relaxed in my body. I needed those 5 hours. This was odd for me---sleeping five hours without a break. Why? Maybe because I was proud of my last post on this blog. Maybe because I was just relaxed at the time. I also remember waking up in the middle of that stretch carrying a dream with me. In the dream, I received an e mail, telling me I could take the test for the virus--or maybe telling me I did not have the virus. All I had to do was to mark a circle in the e mail, and it would be done. These were short spells within the five hours stretch, but they seemed very real.
   So how does that explain yesterday. Not a bad day,  actually got a nice compliment from a friend whom I had asked to read the last post. So sleep should have been easy right? Well, it wasn't. From about 1:00 on, don't know whether I slept at all. So frustrating---my eyes are tired, so no computer---my body is tired, but my brain does not want to give in. Its almost like i need a new word to represent what happened lasts night, and other nights during the virus "stay home". Call it "non-sleep", because that is what it is--the complete inability of my body to give in to sleep. Of course, I know at some point I will make it up, and what's the big deal---today is "planless", so no matter what time I crash (if I do crash) I am not missing anything.
   Memory becomes my friend in this pandemic. Today's memory, the ballet called Suite Number 3, by Balanchine, to music by Tchaikovsky.  Four parts,each led by a different man and woman couple. ---the first Elegie, is one of my "autobiographical" ballets. That means the hero and his adventure are something that I identify with deeply. All of Balanchine's ballets are about men with women, the second part of the piece has a man being very protective of a woman, as they dance through the night. The third part is jocular, athletic and  upbeat--no hint of the pain of rejection or separation--as the man and the woman jump around to very playful music.
And then, finally, a remarkable piece of theater. The lights go down on part three, for a moment the audience is in darkness. All three of the previous parts have been lit in dark blues--a sense that these
moments are taking place in a dream, or not truly a real world. The lights come up on a fully lit stage,
full of couples, ready to begin Part 4. It is a complete reverse from the previous scene---the dancers, lead by a couple, begin performing the Theme and Variations portions of the suite. All of a sudden there is no "story" no mood,  no pain, simply dance. The reality  of dance itself. Can you visulize it
 from my description?  Probably you have to see it to corroborate it. And of course, the music tells you so much about what is going on.  But I have tried to give some
sense of what experiencing this ballet is.
   The rest of the day? Your guess is as good as mine. No plans, I can do whatever I want, within these restrictions of "social distancing"  This is the "freedom" of the pandemic. To live with no obligation in a world of nothingness. Remembering a walk along a street in Brooklyn; it won't happen for a while.
That is all for now. Time to serf. Will report soon.