finding my voice....

at around 4 I wondered if I was strong enough to get out to Bushwick and attend the anti-gentrification conference at the Starr bar, but despite a feeling of mini-fatigue, I found myself on the J heading out to Bushwick around 5---at Lafayette and Broadway, got on the DeKalb Avenue bus and arrived at the Starr Bar in plenty of time. All I could ask for at the bar was ice water, but the bartender was nice enough to give me a full glass--I needed it---yesterday's heat seemed almost inhuman at times.
  The conference was well attended; mostly white newcomers from the neighborhood who wanted to know what they could "do" to stop gentrification, understanding that their presence was part of it. Yes, they are caught in the crossfire of the whole issue, since areas like Park Slope and Boerum Hill, even Prospect Heights are far too expensive for most people. Several short films all with interviews of Bushwick natives who were able to remain are were forced to move by abusive landlords. By the end a terrible sense of a cold, exacting  machine riding rough shot over the neighborhoods, determined to make them (eventually) all white, or all upper class.
  Several activists spoke and gave out information about their groups. I entered the conversation (during the question and answer period) twice, the first time after a newcomer had asked what could she "do" to help. I reminded her and the others that about 15 minutes before one of the activist speakers had mentioned how her group was fighting gentrification. I was surprised she missed that--also a little annoyed---the second time was when the leader of a group was discussing what could be done but was not talking about the city council representatives of the area and the role they were playing in "protecting" the community. City Council reps (there are two in Bushwick) are torn between the money that the landlord lobby offers them and the pressure the activist groups put on them. Ideally, they should be rejecting the landlords completely. In my second comment I reminded the group that the new laws protecting tenants were made because several newly elected State Senate members were elected because they rejected landdlord money. The leader of the activist group picked up on that and so the conversation moved (I felt) to a more meaningful place. I guess what annoyed me, and why I felt such a strong need to speak was that the speakers, as well meaning as they were, did not realize that most of the white audience were in the dark re what the role of the City Council person was, or even about the meaning of the new rent laws and how they happened.
 So that is that. I did not hang around much after the conference broke---I was nervous about getting back to Manhattan on the L, and in the immediate aftermath, no one came up to me and started a conversation. The trip back to Manhattan was a bit of an adventure---yes the L arrived, but I got off it at Lorimer because I was starving (found a good pizza place nearbye) then I got on again at Union but when I saw the G to Queens was coming immediately I jumped on that--took it to the last stop--then switched to the 7 above it which also came quickly, and finally took the 1 at Times Square. Lots of switches, but amazingly enough, did not take that much time. A lot of exercise though---today my body is a bit racked--still getting in gear for the rest of the day.
 Which will be improvised---lots of interesting movies out there but nothing really drawing me in---will report soon.