so it's over.....

(the summer, that is)---I always see the Labor Day weekend as the end of my summer "break". So how am I feeling? Pretty good---this weekend is wide open for me, and that is the way I like it. Might just want to read, read, and read. But what? Am in 42nd street library now, looking for books. Just chose some essays by Jerome Charyn---I think a few are about growing up in what we now call the "south Bronx" , a neighborhood that sent students to both the schools that my father and mother taught in. Always important and stimulating for me to read about those neighborhoods when they were basically all Jewish. Let's see what he has to say.
  Looking for one more book----at home had some Elizabethan plays--I started the Duchess of Malfi yesterday, but don't know if they will sustain me. Anyway, one more book I hope.
  Last night---chose to see Fiddler, Miracle of Miracles at the Quad. Good choice---I enjoyed it, felt filled up by it, and knew most of the talking heads who recalled the original. That was in 1964--- my "horrible" year at Yale School of Drama. I actually saw the original Fiddler three times in its first year---with three different Tevya's (Mostel, Luther Adler and Paul Lipson) At that time I really worshiped it. Never will forget the first time that opening tableau in Tradition came at me. Nothing like it before---that was Robbins' genius. The documentary showed many scenes from other productions---most more recent---there seems to be know tv memories of the original or the 1976 revival which also starred Mostel. What was interesting was how much darker these productions were---was there different way of looking at Fiddler?  The original production---even with its ending of displacement still had a really buoyant feeling. The final talking heads of the movie stressed the sadness of the ending and linked it to what is happening today, Understand that, but are they pushing it too much. Anyway, it was interesting to see a few scenes from the most recent Broadway revival, which I did not see. Its different staging and in some cases line readings, surprised me--as did some scenes from the movie, which I also did not see. In any case, I wanted to share some of my memories of the original and some things that I remember about it that are not in the documentary. Will this happen---don't count on it, but it is a nice idea.
  So, wish me luck for the weekend--hope to get some good reading intake some amazing walks, and follow at least the first two Yankee-Oakland games this weekend. Speaking of walks, after the movie I walked from the Quad on 13th street to the Times Square Station before getting on the subway to go home. Why? My stomach was filled, so no place to stop in and have a beer, and I was restless. Seemed to be a good idea since I slept well last night (better than most nights) and am pretty rested today. Wish me luck!

what now, cityboy?

Thursday early afternoon. The long weekend---the end of summer---looms before me. Mucho choices but does one have any more meaning than another? Some interesting movies that are possible for tonight---Luce, Fidder, Stories We Tell, and a few others. And I had promised myself that this summer I would go to at least one minor league game---well tonight (or the next few days) is my chance, but will I do it? Heavy schlep on the Ferry to get to tonight's game in Staten Island. One thing is for sure---I will not stay home tonight. I stayed home yesterday night---very tired---but between now and Monday, I must be out!
  Not a lot else to report. I finished reading the most recent novel by Susan Choi, called Trust Exercise. It is written in three parts---the second and third much  more fulfilling than the first. The title refers to an exercise given by a high school theater teacher to his students---but also, as the novel progresses, to a trust between the reader and the narrator. The story in the part I is turned on its head in several ways. Sometimes very interesting, others kind of long. One quote from the book gets me:
It refers to a character who has remained in his home town while others have left. The quote is "he saw the past as a place he was exiled from". I immediately responded to that, it articulates how I felt in the first six or seven years after I left Hopkins. Trying to come to terms with the enormous amount of activity I had done as President of the Barnstormers while feeling cut off from the others who were still there, to a certain extent taking part in what I had created. Yes, that was a strange, transitional time for me---I think that last year at Hopkins prepared me well for what I did when I turned 40, but not so much for my twenties and early thirties. But could anything have prepared me for those years?
  Another trip to Brooklyn on the horizon, or even maybe one to the Bronx. A Yankee game? (Better get there early) Still have not taken the bus that begins on Eastern Parkway and Utica and goes east into Brownsville and East New York. What about the one that begins on Saratoga and Broadway, goes through Brownsville, and then merges and follows Kings Highway as it moves west into Flatbush? Took that once before, many years ago. These are all the options available to me.
Well, let's see what happens, will report tomorrow.

Wednesday morning at the library on

Amsterdam at 82nd street. Listened carefully to a report on WBAI that tries to shed some light on why J.E. was able to avoid attention during the time before the law caught up with him. Some very revealing information---look forward to learning more about it as the "normal" media catches up. Also it shed light on the enormous sums of money that corporations and organizations just have "around"--an almost bizarre amount helping nobody and making no contribution into the world at large. Yes, some of it goes into major contributions but a lot of it seems to simply "exist' in a strange, untouchable world. It is shocking to me that those who have made  a great amount of money due to the capitalist system arn't comitted to balancing the budget of the country that enabled them to do so. I certainly would if I had money.
  Yesterday, rested most of the day, started a novel by Susan Choi about two teen-age theater majors---it seems very false at this point. Will follow it  a little longer. Finally around 7, found enough strength to head to La Flaca where I had my usual blt and watched the Cub-Met game. Bartender Red and his girl friend, waitress Sam (Samantha) were very cordial and friendly. When I left, my energy was high--it was around 9:15, and I was not ready to go home. So I walked. West on Grand, then a little on Canal, then back to Grand, through China town, Little Italy, Soho and (I gues) Soho West. Interesting walk---well healed restaurants along the way (probably about 6 or 7)  were all packed, mostly with younger people. The city's restaurant economy seems to be thriving. Were many of the people tourists? Could be, a lot of selfies on the way. But a very interesting walk---finally grabbed a C at Canal (the entrance on Lispinard) an returned home.
  Today meeting my friend Tom for coffee a little later---he was just in the excellent park production of Coriolanus, so I am interested in hearing his take on this. After that....we will see. Am thinking about one of the next two days going to the Bronx Central Library--where Kingsbridge Road begins, right of Fordham Road. I like their selection of books, and may need some interesting ones to get me through the weekend (libraries closed all three days of the weekend) Labor day approaches, the 'beginning of the end" of summer.

here we are....

at the Lincoln Center Library Tuesday morning. A "quiet"day---can do what I wish to do. No plans. Why not? Yesterday, even though I was feeling tired from the intense exercise from the day before, I ventured to Brooklyn in the afternoon to participate in the 227 Duffield action, then the BAN meeting a few hours after. Not that hard----the protest was very well attended---I had a nice chat with a college student standing nearby---he was part of  a group that was going for interviews at Chase for summer 2020 interns. I explained to him the circumstances about the house with its underground rail road history, and he seemed very interested and committed to following the action on his computer. . A nice kid, he is a junior at U Penn--this was his first trip to New York. He was born and spent the first part of his life in Ghana. Anyway, that was meaningful. Had to leave in the middle of the action, because I was starving, but there were so many people at the action it did not matter.
  Found a grocery store that made me a small roast beef sandwich and then headed back to Manhattan for the meeting. Was able to participate for the first part of it---I brought up some interesting points, but as the meeting continued I got more and more tired. Left at the end and went straight home---something I don't like to do after the meeting, but quite frankly, I could hardly move. Actually got to sleep very quickly, and though I had two dreams---slept pretty well.
  Sort of enjoying doing "nothing"--maybe I will look at my movie choice for the afternoon or evening and make a decision. There is a very interesting movie playing at the Quad, the story of the making of the original Fiddler on the Roof. Want to see it, but feel like it is "comfort food" . Several other interesting movies around as well---theater that I am interested in does not begin until next week (with one exception). That is about the status of things now. So much time spent in Brooklyn this summer, should at least make one trip to the Bronx, but.....ambivalent. Anyway, the day continues and I will report soon.

the weekend....

Friday...a tired day---not much energy---stayed around the neighborhood---in the evening went to the first Lincoln Center Opera Outdoors film festival---the film was not an opera, but Funny Face with Fred Astaire, Audrey Hepburn and Eve Arden (Our Miss Brooks---a funny sitcom from the fifties). Could not keep my attention---went back and rested.
Saturday---energy much higher--lots to do---a session at the library---then off to Crown Heights for the Crown Heights Tenants Union picnic, where I was to distribute some flyers for the march in September. Took the C train to Kingston Throop, and walked south to Brower Park, where the picnic was being held. Amazed by what I saw---some beautiful Brownstones all around the park---especially on Saint Marks between Kingston and Albany---who knew that they existed..? Others on Park Place even as the street approaches Nostrand Avenue. A great walk! Should (hopefully) return there soon. The rest of the day spent around the Gotham Center---had a salad and watched the Yankee-Dodger game. Thought that I might check out a movie at BAM or some other theater, but by 7 I was  pretty tired---it was time to return to the apartment in Manhattan---kind of an adventurous trip back on a couple of C trains---I had drank a lot of coffee and water at the Gotham and even though I made a bathroom trip before I left---felt a lot of pressure on the subway---very difficult. Finally left the C at Penn Station and hustled to the bathroom on the Amtrak level, much improved from the last time I visited. Then got back on the C, and just made it home.  Wow! Too much coffee and water---a devastating combination.
 Sunday---much more energy in the morning; I would realize how much during the day. Returned to Cobra Club in Bushwick to visit my friend bartender Olivia; that went well, but alas, the broken tv at Cobra was not fixed---so I could not watch the Met-Atlanta game as per usual. Not terribly sad, I was a little over saturated with baseball---still I left early and headed to the used bookstore Molasses to check on my friend Matt and Maggie (the owners) and their little boy Tuli. Found out that they were visiting in Canada, but will be back next week. From there, walked to Broadway and took the bus on Malcolm X to Fulton and the C train. Toyed with the idea of going further south on Utica, but figured this was for the best. Hung out at Gotham until the movie I was seeing at BAM---called Give Me Liberty was beginning at 4.
  The movie itself was a bizarre crazy quilt of events centered around a 25 year old van driver for disabled people. On this day, he gets himself into all kinds of trouble by shepherding around a bunch of elderly relatives of his to the cemetary of a recently deceased relative. Lots of craziness with many obnoxious people--particularly an opportunistic friend of the driver whom I found annoying and obnoxious. The movie then careeens into a riot in front of a police precinct---very dynamic event shifting by the creators of the movie. Hard to say what I felt about it, I was impressed with its vision and narrative which seemed to defy normalcy and go where ever it wanted to go---but the characters and situation were annoying to me. Still, it is a definantly original movie.
  It was still early after I left BAM, and after a short conversation with Simon, a former Friends student who is beginning social work school---so I did not want to just pack it in and return to Manhattan. It was then that I went on my longest walk, from BAN to Freddys, the "cool" bar on 17th and 5th Avenue. Tired a bit but determined to walk the 30 or so blocks from BAM to the bar. Once there I had a beer, and watched some baseball on tv. As "cool" as the place is, I never end up having conversations with anyone there. Should I have gone back to La Flaca and spent some time there instead? Not sure---Anyway, when I left, the body was still strong---still I opted for a bus that would take me back to the Gotham Center and finally the G to the C. Returned home in much better shape then Saturday.
  A pretty strong weekend---I felt good this morning---tonight the BAN meeting and a possible protest on Duffiled...will report soon.

finding my voice....

at around 4 I wondered if I was strong enough to get out to Bushwick and attend the anti-gentrification conference at the Starr bar, but despite a feeling of mini-fatigue, I found myself on the J heading out to Bushwick around 5---at Lafayette and Broadway, got on the DeKalb Avenue bus and arrived at the Starr Bar in plenty of time. All I could ask for at the bar was ice water, but the bartender was nice enough to give me a full glass--I needed it---yesterday's heat seemed almost inhuman at times.
  The conference was well attended; mostly white newcomers from the neighborhood who wanted to know what they could "do" to stop gentrification, understanding that their presence was part of it. Yes, they are caught in the crossfire of the whole issue, since areas like Park Slope and Boerum Hill, even Prospect Heights are far too expensive for most people. Several short films all with interviews of Bushwick natives who were able to remain are were forced to move by abusive landlords. By the end a terrible sense of a cold, exacting  machine riding rough shot over the neighborhoods, determined to make them (eventually) all white, or all upper class.
  Several activists spoke and gave out information about their groups. I entered the conversation (during the question and answer period) twice, the first time after a newcomer had asked what could she "do" to help. I reminded her and the others that about 15 minutes before one of the activist speakers had mentioned how her group was fighting gentrification. I was surprised she missed that--also a little annoyed---the second time was when the leader of a group was discussing what could be done but was not talking about the city council representatives of the area and the role they were playing in "protecting" the community. City Council reps (there are two in Bushwick) are torn between the money that the landlord lobby offers them and the pressure the activist groups put on them. Ideally, they should be rejecting the landlords completely. In my second comment I reminded the group that the new laws protecting tenants were made because several newly elected State Senate members were elected because they rejected landdlord money. The leader of the activist group picked up on that and so the conversation moved (I felt) to a more meaningful place. I guess what annoyed me, and why I felt such a strong need to speak was that the speakers, as well meaning as they were, did not realize that most of the white audience were in the dark re what the role of the City Council person was, or even about the meaning of the new rent laws and how they happened.
 So that is that. I did not hang around much after the conference broke---I was nervous about getting back to Manhattan on the L, and in the immediate aftermath, no one came up to me and started a conversation. The trip back to Manhattan was a bit of an adventure---yes the L arrived, but I got off it at Lorimer because I was starving (found a good pizza place nearbye) then I got on again at Union but when I saw the G to Queens was coming immediately I jumped on that--took it to the last stop--then switched to the 7 above it which also came quickly, and finally took the 1 at Times Square. Lots of switches, but amazingly enough, did not take that much time. A lot of exercise though---today my body is a bit racked--still getting in gear for the rest of the day.
 Which will be improvised---lots of interesting movies out there but nothing really drawing me in---will report soon.

much moved....

by reports on WNYC's The Takeaway about the brutally inhuman treatment given the children who have crossed the border and are being detained. What is one to do? Very sad. One can only hope that the courts or maybe even Congress will try to stop this horrible behavior. Not much else to say.
 Yesterday: a slow day---did not leave Manhattan (odd) did not even take the subway. For much of hte day I was fatigued. Finally, by around 7:30, some life seemed to come back to me, and I left the apartment. But where to go? At one point, thought that I might go to the bar-coffee place that is attached to the Quad cinema, but instead, opted for the coffee place on 2nd avenue between 81st and 82nd street. It is open until midnight (one of the few New York coffee places that does not turn into a bar that stays open)  which meant getting there around 9 would not make me feel isolated. And so that is what I did---taking the 79th street crosstown to 3rd avenue and walking the rest of the way. Always interesting to visit the upper east side, a world that once was so important to me (I dated a lot of women who lived in the area back in the seventies) but also just to chart the differences between the two sides. Of course, the upper east side is strangled by high rises, but strangely enough, the old tenements seem to stick out, demanding that their history be understood.
  Coffee place was open and lively---had my coffee and read the novel that I had just taken out of the library (a little pulpy) and enjoyed not being rushed. So much energy had returned to me that instead of simply going back to 79th and jumping on the bus, I walked north to 96th street---past the bars and restaurants and small apartment houses and pizza places (many) that line the street. Lots of people out, moving around. At 96th and third, walked a block north (remember when one would not dare to go any further than 96th) to look at the new high rises on the west side of the street. Of course, a NYCHA project sits on the other side. So what? It makes no difference how close a new luxury apartment is built to a NYCHA project, if you build it, "they" will come. The 96th street crosstown came pretty quickly, and soon I found myself on Broadway and 94th--it took about 20 minutes for a 104 to come, but I was in no hurry to get back (I now had new found strength)  and just watched while I waited patiently for the bus. That is all.
   Today, there is supposed to be a big anti gentrification meeting in Bushwick that begins at 6:30, and that is where I am planning to be. Should take up the whole evening---with the L running slowly, if at all, should be interesting to see what strategy I use to return to the city. DeKalb bus to the J, or just to downtown Brooklyn. We will see.

so here I am today....

a little winded (physically) but the day is totally open---I have time to explore all my "choices" which includes just reading for a couple of hours. But then there is a possible trip to Brooklyn--I would like to visit the used book store Molasses, which new friends of mine run. A couple of other things I could do in Brooklyn as well---hang out at the Fiction Center and explore the last leg of the Brooklyn march. And of course, a few other things as well. But at this point, I have not idea which path I will take.
  Yesterday--decided that it was important to see Tea and Sympathy at Metrograph, a movie that I first saw around Verterans Day 1957 (That's right, and I can tell you whom I saw it with as well then). While I would not characterize this move as a "big mistake"---the movie, or at least the first hour of it, was a big disappointment. It is clunky, obvious, and displays  a lot of toxic male aggressiveness. I think the play, from which it was adopted, had to be a little better. The main character of the play, a private school privileged high school student is an "off horse" around the campus and is thought to be gay. The movie could not deal with the gay issue, so here he is called "sister boy" because he is artsy and good at tennis and not football. But the razzing is so obvious that it gets tiresome. Nice to see Deborah Kerr, John Kerr and Leif Ericson in their original roles, but Kerr, an actor whom I really like, seems like he is trying to play "young"; at the same time, the other high school boys are all played by actors in their twenties---that is obvious.Oy! I was gone after an hour---pleased with that, but the whole thing left a sour taste in my mouth.
 After that, off to Brooklyn and another protest in front of 227 Duffield. A group of us met outside the house, made some speeches and then marched around downtown Brooklyn, finishing up in the mall. Lots of good fight and spirit; obviously the house should be preserved, but of course real estate being what it is in this city, the landmark committee, the city department that can order its preservation, has not acted on it yet, and it is feared, will side with the owner-developer of the house, who wants to tear down the edifice and build 1uxury apartments there. The area is overdeveloped with those obnoxious things already, one can feel the aggressiveness of the real estate industry and its alliance with the city planners when one is present there. Protests will continue.
 The last part of the evening was at Mullane's, the sports bar near BAM, where with only one beer (very heavy) I was able to watch most of the Mets-Indians game. Left around 9:20, pretty tired, went home on the subway where I read a really good short story by Joseph Conrad---first of his I ever read---want to read more. That is all for now---let the day continue.

upsetting morning...for some reason...

listened to a conservative talk show on the radio around 8:30. They asked callers to give their opinion of the resolve of the Pantaleo case. The callers were angry, the two hosts, one of whom also writes theater gossip were convinced a wrong decision was made. Could not believe it, or the defense of the callers, or the statements by the hosts that if the decision was made for the policeman  there would have been rioting in the streets. Rediculous! Protests and actions and marches definitely, but no riots. Were there riots after the four policeman were acquitted of the death of Diallo. Marches, yes, protests, yes, but they were totally peaceful and within the realm of the law. Those two hosts to me are despicable.
  Next I listened to the the NPR radio channel in the city, where the talk was of the gaps that white Americans have in understanding the true impact of slavery from the beginning of the importing of slaves until now. A completely different perspective---last was a talk about the "empathy" gap and how that prevented people from completely experiencing or identifying the pain of slavery. Sounded good but also frustrating. Empathy cannot be learned, it is either natural to one or not possible. Would love to participate in more discussions about this---on Thursday evening will (I hope) go to Starr Bar for an evening of actiivism around anti-gentrification feeling. Looking forward to it.
  Today, another action outside 227 Duffield to protect the underground railway house that is in danger of being destroyed to make way for eleven luxury (what other kind are there) apartments. Must be stopped! 
  But before that, I will probably go to Metrograph to see a movie I have not seen since my 10th grade experience at Bronx Science. Tea and Sympathy, the movie based on the play by Robert Anderson and being shown as part of a (brief) Vincente Minelli retrospective. What does this movie have to do with the other two issues that I have brought up. Very separate, as if I was entering a different world---no racial issues in that world. The contrast is strange, I must admit. Anyway, that is the plan, will report tomorrow.

back from DC....

Monday morning---how shall I describe the last two days. Like an incredible carnival of noise, feeling, observation and much else. The two city trips that I have taken this summer---to Baltimore five weeks ago and now the DC trip have stimulated my imagination immeasurably. The trips have taken me out of my "doldrums" and made me feel the excitement of discovering and considering a new place.
 Saturday---arrived at my hotel---checked in (fairly easily) had some lunch, then, in the blazing heat of the afternoon, took off from the hotel, on G and 7th to Dupont Circle. Why? Felt that that place would bring me some meaning of DC that I had not had before. As hot as it was, I was determined to walk from the hotel to the circle. On my way, so many luxury buildings and many hotels---not much else. So I walked, observing the older buildings on the way, asking myself what this neighborhood had been like before the advent of so many luxury apartments. Then I arrived at the Circle.
  Not much going on there, I really only had one destination---the book store that hovers on the edge of the circle. Wandered around in it, checked the different sections, but did not feel any kind of excitement from the place. So perhaps I had overestimated the "coolness" of the circle, or perhaps I should have come at a later time. At any rate, I could not walk back (exhaustion?) and took the Metro back to the hotel.
 My room had a large television, and I watched a number of baseball games while resting on Saturday. The trip to Dupont Circle had left me very tired (plus I had gotten up early to meet the train that took me to DC) so I spent much of the evening in the room, just recuperating and reminding myself that tomorrow was going to be a busy day. Only voyage was to the downstairs bar at the hotel, where I simply had a beer and sat quietly---then before going upstairs walked around a few blocks--nothing really-streets pretty lively---some homeless--many people out on dates---the usual--then retired to my room for the rest of the evening. The hotel also had a rooftop bar which would have been interesting to journey up to, but I just was not up for it. So that was Saturday
  Sunday, up early, checked out after some coffee, took my belongings to the train station and headed for the ball park to meet my friend Bob, and see the game. I arrived about an hour earlier, and so wandered around the streets---a colony of luxury apartment houses and a few hotels---what seems to be a totally "young upper class" society. What to make of all of this? So like NYC in downtown Brooklyn which is creating its own "closed" environment. A conversation with a fellow coffee drinker told me that rents are about the same but apartments to buy are a little lower. Upscale coffee place at the bottom of one of the buildings had a mixed clientele, both black and white. Appealing to me? Would I like to live in a world like that? Don't I already. Interesting questions--we will see.
  My friend Bob met me soon after, we walked around for a bit then entered the ball park. He had obtained great seats, with an almost perfect view of the field. Also, this was a very important game for both clubs--they are fighting for a playoff spot, so the energy an tension was high. The night before  the teams had battled past midnight with the Brewers winning, how would this effect today's game? The energy in the stadium was mellow, warm, almost like a county fair---it lacked any of the hardness that New York ball parks would seem to have. Bob and I got along very well---I really enjoyed his company, then the game began. I have watched so many baseball games on tv this year, I don't think I realized how different it is to watch a game in person. My eyes see so many different things. Washington took an early lead and kept it---they demolished the two Milwaukee pitchers---probably only two because the bull pen had been over used in the game the night before. By 4:30 I had had enough, and was worried about getting back to the station on time so I left. But I had an amazing time there, moving through the aisles and back part of the stands. Should do it again this year somewhere, but I wonder...so much is going on here. We will see.
   The trip back to NYC on Amtrak was on time, but I was totally exhausted. Of course the 2, 3, or 1 train that I could directly take back from Penn Station was not running, but cityboy refused, even in his exhausted state to take a cab. Instead, took the C to 81st, then luckily, without much time lost, got a 79th street cross town back to Broadway. Just made it home--asleep soon afterwards.
  So there you have it. I return to the city overwhelmed by how much I can get out of traveling. What next?  Will report soon.

DC tomorrow....and today...?

Yes, tomorrow early morning I will be leaving for DC (Amtrak) for a day and a half there. On Sunday, I am scheduled to meet my friend Bob from high school (and from the Bronx) and go to a Brewers-Nationals game. He has the tickets; he made the plans. As far as tomorrow goes, will arrive in late morning,,,then what? Well, DC is a great walking city, since I am staying in the downtown area, it should be an easy walk to Dupont Circle with its many cafes, bars and bookshops, as well as a possible walk on the 14th street corridor. That is it, cityboy loves to people watch, get the sense of the city, its flow, its energy. I remember on my last trip there two years ago, being very aware of how that part of the city seemed like a "playground for young adults" and not much else. Also, stunned by how many luxury apartments were being added to both the downtown area and the Dupont Circle area. A little sad and discomfiting, still the energy was great. Is that what you want to do tomorrow, participate in that energy, cityboy? In the evening, might search for an interesting theater event (so far have not found one) or get a cheap ticket for the Saturday evening game and wander around the stadium as I watch it. Am staying at the Pod, a "cool" hotel with a rooftop bar, and another downstairs, might be some hanging out fun. Anyway, it will all be figured out tomorrow at the spur of the moment. Also, it will be nice to have a tv accessible, something cityboy does not have in his apartment, but don't get too crazy surfing, remember that. So much for tomorrow.

 Last night, missed the first rally, but did get a chance to wander around the western part of Sunset Park, kind of mellow and laid back with only a few new buildings. Every time I visit a part of the city or a block I have not been on before,, I am filled with a sense of wonder. Why? Every street is so interesting in its architecture and its memory. Had time before the Crown Heights Tenants Union meeting so had an ice coffee at Threes Brewing (kind of an uninspiring world) and then headed to Utica and Eastern Parkway for the meeting. As a representative of BAN, I was there to ask for their endorsement for our march, and to describe this march to them. The meeting was long and my presentation came at the very end, but it was made and successfully. Glad I was at the meeting; I learned about a rally and picnic that the group is having next Saturday afternoon---I will go there and maybe do some flyering for the march on 9/21.

And today. Well, I want to watch the Cleveland Yankee game this evening (great drama there!) so that will be either at La Flaca or Standings, will try the former first---should check in on my friend Bob. This afternoon remains a kind of blank. Could check out a movie but am obsessively guarding my money so may just settle for some heavy reading instead. But how much pressure should I put on myself. I am doing well at maintaining my balance---still pretty hard on myself. So there we are, not sure how the afternoon will turn out, will probably produce a report on DC journey and other things on Monday.

missed a day....

because I spent most of it in Brooklyn---not really close to a computer. And how was it? Well, pretty good, it began with a coffee hang out with my actor friend Zach at a coffee place near the Bedford Avenue L subway station--we caught up---compared some notes--Zach has determined that if his acting career does not pan out, he wants to become a doctor's assistant, and is now completing his undergraduate work to make this happen. Very noble, I like it. I tried to be as encouraging as possible about this. Discussed other things as well--the world of the theater of course, and then he was off to Hunter, and I was off to...? Well, that was the next question in cityboys mind. Maybe Greenpoint, directly north of where I was, a place I have not visited in a long while, but for some reason that did not catch fire in my mind. Instead I took the 62 bus which travels south on Wythe Avenue, through the Jewish community and finally heads west on Park Avenue into the northern border of Clinton Hill and Fort Greene. Interesting, the three northern boundaries of that area---Myrtle Avenue, Park Avenue and Flushing Avenue, all have their own bus lines. Pretty good, except that often there is a long wait for the last two. Anyway, got off at Park and Carleton, traveled south to Fulton near Flatbush (actually quite a long and taxing walk) bought a tuna sandwich at one of the many grocery stores that still line gentrified Fulton, and settled in at (of course) the Gotham Market. Spent most of the afternoon there and at the Fiction Center. Stayed through the rain---then was fatigued by about 5 so headed home, and really stayed there for the rest of the night (that probably won't happen again).
  Tuesday evening, after a strong and passionate rally outside the Landmarks Office with other BAN members and people from other groups, headed to Williamsburg and stopped off at the East River bar---kind of noisy on Tuesday but nevertheless, had a great talk with Noah, the husband of my friend Harlo. Both of us are big on the arts---a very fulfilling conversation. Still miss South fourth.
  Today, possibly a rally in Sunset Park around 5 and then a meeting on Utica near Eastern Parkway at 7. Will I make both---will try...also, this weekend starting Saturday morning I will be in DC---an interesting trip---should be exciting to be in another town, try some other bars and coffee shops---and see what happens. Will report soon.

Here we are...

an overcast Tuesday morning and I am at the library on 82nd and Amsterdam. Not a lot to report since yesterday---BAN meeting made sense---much discussion of the route of the march and a few other things. As usual, meeting was over at 9, and cityboy did not like the idea of returning to his apartment immediately. But not really hungry---and a beer seemed like it would sit too heavy in my stomach. Instinctively walked west---finally settled on going into the diner on 23rd and 9th (the one on the west side) which had on the Cleveland-Red Sox game (better then the Yankee-Oriole second game which was a rout)  The place was very quiet--almost eerily so---had a nice blueberry muffin and ice coffee as I tried to orient myself as to what was going on in Cleveland. Stayed there for a while---the waiter was very nice, did not rush me at all. Finally left and returned home, feeling a little tired.
  But it was still early---during the rest of the night through morning, had a lot of trouble sleeping. I think I sleep in the first few hours, but usually by 3 I am up and feeling strong---but with no where to go Don't have any social media outlet to get involved with, simply my own thoughts. Finally made it through the night, but the restlessness is grating on me. What to do? Home later would be a good idea, but how do I manage this if my stomach is full, and I have spent what I consider to be my "allowance" for the day. Problems, problems---well let's see how it all plays out.
  Today there is a rally at the Landmark commission this afternoon  at 4:30 to save the underground rail road house on Duffield Street, which is in danger of being destroyed. Will go, if I am not too tired. After that..? Maybe another visit to East River bar in search of long lost South fourth friends. Or maybe...?

the rest of the weekend was full of contrasts....

but actually turned out very well. Saturday after the session, cityboy returned home and rested---then awoke from a short sleep feeling very fatigued. What did that mean re the plans for the evening. Well, it made it impossible for him to get to Brooklyn, the trip across the river would have been too taxing--so what would be the plan.? Cityboy settled for a movie at the Walter Reade theater, part of the Lincoln Center group of three theaters in the complex. Only movie to sees was a weird one by Raul Ruiz, an iconoclastic Chilean director. Called The Golden Boat, it is New York story movie---but ponderous in its vision and repetitive in its dialogue, an odd voyage created in 1990 when the city had a lot of open spaces when one could still live in poverty and survive. Give Ruiz some credit---the camera work and the colors are terrific--and the setting---"poor" Manhattan in and around the Lower East Side and its environs is a nice reminder of a time when not every space was turned into an expensive condo or such. Yes, the city has truly changed. Not the best movie for a lonely Saturday evening, but passable---in light of how fatigued I was, really the only choice. Did not sleep well---stomach cramps were present, but the next morning, life turned out to be a bit better.
  Sunday---a lot of the Saturday night-early Sunday morning anxiety disappeared and I welcomed the day with its possibilities. After some internal debate, decided that the best plan was my usual one: Cobra Club to visit with my bar tender friend Olivia, followed by some more Brooklyn exploring.
 This is what I did; but then "catastrophe" reared its ugly head. Apparently the cable box at Cobra Club had exploded, and with it my hopes for a relaxed watching of the Met-National game. But I would not be denied my "baseball fix" and so around 1 I left Cobra and journeyed to Pine Box Rock Shop, a cool bar about half a mile away in East Williamsburg. Not very crowded, the bartender was nice enough to find me the Met game immediately while I slowly drank a PBR. Stayed there for the first five innings---I really like the atmosphere of the place---then made my way to the BAM-Gotham Market area by way of the Flushing Avenue bus---a really interesting trip much of it with the NYCHA houses on the south side and the Orthodox Jewish houses on the north. Quite a contrast---finally arrived at the Fiction Center where a had a nice talk with my friend Simon, a former Friends student who is a barista there. Also went up to its outdoor bar---really mellow there---a super place to read and think. Tired by around 6:30---could have simply decided to return to Manhattan but wanted a little more "action" and so went to the bar at the market---watched some of the Giant-Phillie game and had some expensive (but filling) hummus. Then returned home.
  Tonight the BAN meeting--most of today should be a day of rest---after the meeting---? Will report tomorrow...

Hey Cityboy--Chill Out!

Just had a tutoring session with an upcoming fifth grader. The best session I have had in a long while. Feeling very focused during this time. So different from what I experience some evenings and early mornings, before I hit the street. So what have we learned from this, cityboy? Well, just take it a little easy---you really are in a good place--despite the lack of structure that you have which sometimes gets you a little crazy. Oh, and chill with the money issues as well--yes, they exist, but ultimately you are handling it pretty well. A little less obsession might be very welcome. Let's try it.
  No plans for the rest of the day---one of my favorite bartenders---he was manager at South fourth towards the end of its run---is supposed to be bartending tonight at Clem's, a non-tv bar in Williamsburg. Would like to check him out and say hello--also, it is possible that his presence will bring other South fourthers there as well. So, I guess the best time to be there would be about 9. So what happens before that? Good question, an important baseball game is being broadcast on TV around 7, so have to find a place to watch that (and not drink) before heading to Clem's Is that possible? Well we will see. Still a few other bars that I would like to check out for their ambiance and clientele before the school year begins, but who knows if I will have the time to get there. Sonny's in Red Hook, was always on my list, but the effort to get to Red Hook and then back, requires a lot of work. Maybe next week.
  Last night: Went to the Ice Factory's production of Raw Pasta, a really good play by (don't have the playwright's name here) which my friend Zack was in. Glad I went, it is a very inventive place that was beautifully acted by six actors and really well conceived and directed. The depth of performance was all the more amazing in that this was only the actors third performance. Yet the acting was very relaxed, character oriented and self assured. Said hello to Zack afterwards, but could not hang out with him as his family was there.
  The play began at 7, so I was out on the street before 9. Like a good boy, I should have just returned home with maybe some small portion of food, but it was Friday night, and I did not want to return to the apartment just yet. The usual restlessness.  Looked for a bar where I could watch both New York team baseball games, wandered north on Hudson Street, then 8th but could not find any. Finally got to 14th and 7th, moved north again, skipped what looked like a very interesting bar on 7th right before 15th street (and they did have one game on) and finally headed to the one bar that I knew and felt comfortable in the area--Jake's Saloon, slightly west  of 7th on 23rd. I have been there several times before and knew what to expect---also, they are always showing the games on TV. I was not disappointed---the bar was moderately filled---I found a seat , and nursing a very cold and tasty bud light, watched the Yankee and the Met games for the next 45 minutes or so. No conversations but at least gave me a sense of involvement which I really needed. Finally finished, paid my bill ($9.00 with the tip---the beer does not come cheap, but they do let you stay as long as you like)  and returned home.
  That is all for now---still "feeling groovy", for want of a better description, will report soon.

a day in Brooklyn...

yesterday, but first: re Jaycee, now I know what happened to her. A little anti-climactic, still, it was a nice ride. Almost finished with Russo's novel.
 Wednesday afternoon: finally attended the Burt Lancaster festival at the film forum. Saw, Sweet Smell of Success, the film Lancaster stars in (and co-produced) with Tony Curtis. The script is by Earnest Lehman and Clifford Odets, one of my favorite playwrights, and it truly has some zingers in the dialogue that only Odets could have written. It is a tough film, a little bit in love with its own values, and somewhat obvious towards the end, but I enjoyed it. Some great 50's New York locations---a time when high risers really did not exist. Afterwards, headed to La Flaca to watch another pathetic Yankee-Oriole game (can you believe it, there are four more of them next week) and to say hi to owner Bob. Just found out he is opening another bar restaurant, this one in Brooklyn maybe as soon as next week. Had a good time, then went home.
  Yesterday, Brooklyn by 10:30 first the library at fourth avenue and Pacific Street, then a fun meeting over coffee with Tom Fagin, a member of the class of 09, who teaches English at Friends. Lots of discussion re the world, also some specific issues happening at Friends, and some insight on many of the students I have interacted with. Ended about 2:45; I had an action scheduled for around 6, should I return to Manhattan and rest, then return to Brooklyn. Not really, decided to stay, returned to the library and around 5:45, jumped on the 2 train to Sterling Place, then walked to Lefferts Avenue,where the action, outside 501 Lefferts would be taking place. Met Imani, the leader of BAN there, and by 6:30 there were several tenants joining us outside holding signs, demanding that the landlord install a strong lock on the downstairs door, and make sure the elevator, which had been out all week, was fixed. Really interesting time, interacting with the tenants, mostly people of color, many of whom have been in the building for over 20 years. Of course, 20 years ago, this was an all black community; only in the last few years have the blocks taken in more and more white people. Across the street from 501 were three new buildings, all catering to young white people. You can feel the aggressive onslaught coming. Important for these tenants to hold fast. For me it was a very positive experience. Afterwards, returned to the Gotham Market to watch the Yankees slaughter another team and have the hummus, my usual meal there. Tired, then returned home.
  Tonight, will see the play at Ohio Space that my friend Zack is appearing in. Should be fun; I have not seen him in a while, so it will be good to catch up and offer support. Won't do much before that, maybe rest, body is tired from the long day and night yesterday. Will report soon.

Jaycee, I want you!

Yes, Jaycee, you are the best! Who is she---only the "heroin" " of the latest Richard Russo novel, Chances Are, that is who! And what is her problem---well she disappeared after a party with three fellow college graduate in 1969, and has not been seen since. The novel revolves around a reunion of these three--now in their middle sixties (the novel takes place in 2013) who, despite their integration into middle aged life, are still haunted by her disappearance, and are looking for answers. It is a well written yet glib novel, and yet, for some reason, I can't put it down---I want desperately to find out what happened to Jaycee as well. If you can believe this---last night I had two dreams which dealt with finding out what had happened to her. In one, she is hiding in plain sight on the island off Cape Cod where the boys celebrated, Can't really remember the other one. But, you can bet that whatever I do when I am finished working on this computer, I will soon be reading the novel, desperate to find out what Russo's solution to this mystery is.
  Yesterday, after computer work, took the 79th street crosstown to 2nd, found the coffee place that I liked a lot on one of my journeys a few weeks ago, and got a great gelato and ice coffee as I read. The whole thing cost me almost $9.00---again, where will all this end. Wow! the energy on the upper east side is so different then on the upper west. How? Really can't say, but while you are there, you know you are in a different place. Returned home, rested and then went to the play Reading that my friend Sarah directed. It is a piece about gay internet hookups and commitment, really very sharp, and very well cast; I enjoyed it. Took place in Tribeca, a large building that has been there forever amidst the glitter of the new hotels, apartment houses, and bars. It was only 9 when the reading was over; I knew that I would be "angry" if I simply returned home--stomach was churning---then calmed down; I walked north on West Broadway from Canal to Houston, then found a bar on the north side of Houston near sixth--went in, had a beer, and for about 45 minutes watched the Yankees and Mets game. Liked the bar--I had room to watch and focus by myself---no contact with others who were much younger, nevertheless, felt good about making this move. The whole thing cost me $9.00 (seven for the beer and two for the tip---I always tip an extra dollar if I feel the bartender has treated me with courtesy) --again kind of "pricey", but what can you do---this is New York at this moment--it will break you if you don't proceed with caution, but one must take advantage of its vibrant,  outdoor life---can't sit in the apartment and simply wait for sleep to come---have to be outside and alive, even if it costs me more money.
  Today, the plan is to go to Film Forum this afternoon and see the Burt Lancaster festival They have his "important" movies, but I will probably check out the one (or two) B movies that he made---need a little more escape in my movies today, and those so called "b" movies, often turn out to have a lot of skill. After that---? Not sure, would like to avoid another Yankee-Oriole "slaughter' but might have to sit through it. Will decide at the time and report soon.

a quiet day......

with not much to report---attended BAN meeting last night---discussions re the march against gentrification in September--fairly productive (my opinion) and that's all. After that, headed to my usual "haunt" in the neighborhood, the Greek diner a little east of 23rd and 7th. Felt empty enough for a large cheese danish and an ice coffee--kind of stuffed after that, probably should have settled for a fruit cup, but did not. Spent a very restless night--is that because the ice coffee blocked sleep? Possibly, but now (around 11 A.M.) feel pretty fresh.
  This evening, my friend Sarah is directing a workshop of a new play in Tribeca, which i will attend. It starts at 8---which means there is time to fill between the time I leave this library and my arrival at the workshop. What to do? I keep promising myself a movie---would be the most realistic idea---but something in seems to turn off on that. Why? There are really so many old and new movies around that i might find interesting---nevertheless, I continue to rebel against seeing any. That's where we are now.
  Let's leave it at that---for some reason I am not interested in following any memories at this point. Should be better tomorrow---will report then.

quite a weekend....

filled with unexpected but really interesting (and perhaps meaningful) events.
 Saturday night: off to Metrograph to see Georgia, Georgia, one of the last movies made by Diana Sands--it has a script written by Maya Angelou--a very well defined script that challenges the gap between the "black performer" (Miss Sands) who wants to appeal to all, especially to a white public, and her "protector" a black militant woman, played with great fierceness by Minnie Gentry (another very underrated black actress who did a lot of work in the 70's) who has witnessed the horrors of segregation and demands justice. An odd coupling, yet in the movie it made sense. The script is kind of "clunky", yet the power of the ideas made it meaningful. Miss Sands is brilliant, showing a tremendous range and energy. Afterwards there was a discussion headed by the woman who had programmed the film, and a gentleman who is attempting to write a biography of Miss Sands. None of the questions or comments dealt with her stage work; luckily they called on me and I mentioned how great she was in Blues for Mr. Charlie and Raisin in the Sun. I guess I was the only one in the audience (about three quarters filled) who had seen her. Afterwards, I spoke a bit with the two discussion leaders---kind of interesting. Then left, went to La Flaca and watched baseball before returning home.
   Sunday, began the day at Cobra---the usual, Olivia was nice enough to put the game on for me, also read some of the times--then left and stopped at Molasses, the laid back book store on Hart Street in the middle of Bushwick. Nice time---said hello to Tuli, the almost two month old baby of Matt, the owner and his wife---also a good discussion about movies and life in the neighborhood. Really glad I dropped in. But then where to next? Usually I hop on the DeKalb Avenue bus and take it through Bed-Stuy to the Gotham Market on Fulton near Flatbush, have some ice coffee and check out the baseball scores. A little too ordinary for today--instead jumped on the 47 bus---the Ralph Avenue bus and rode through the eastern edge of Bed-Stuy, Crown Heights, and much of East Flatbush. Fantastic voyage---the brownstones of Bed-Stuy give way to a kind of barren part of the eastern edge of Crown Heights, and along the East-Flatbush-Brownsville border---many older apartment houses. Joined in the bus by many Afro-American church goers--a very nice group. Finally left the bus at Ralph and Church, and took the bus going west on Church to East 18th street. As Church goes west, the private houses in the east numbered streets gives way to the apartment houses as we approach Nostrand Avenue and beyond. Got off by the q entrance (east 18th street)  and returned to my Brooklyn epicenter--the Gotham Market---had a nice beer while I waited for the Yankee Red Sox game to begin, then wandered over to the Fiction Center, the new book store caddy corner to BAM. Had a great conversation there in the outdoor bar space with three bar workers who were chilling out after the rain. A great surprise, but really good talk. Will return there again. After that time to go home and rest.
  Today a BAN meeting where I can share my take on the Myrtle Avenue part of the planned march in September. Not too much before that---will see what happens.

two days and much to report....

where to begin. Thursday evening opted to see Once Upon A Time in Hollywood at the Landmark 57, probably the most comfortable movie theater that I know in the city. It cost me 8 dollars more then if I had gone to the Village East, but the ambiance at Landmark is great! So was the movie---every frame decisive and brilliantly thought out. The ending is terribly ironic and sentimental (not something I would have expected from Tarantino) but it leaves the viewer in a strange place. The "bad guys" have been brutally destroyed by the two heroes, but we know that in real life, this did not happen. So Tarantino deliberately distorts reality so that for a moment we forget the horror of what really happened and live like children who have been delivered from a bad dream. Really good, very glad that I saw it. Ah, movies, movies. Tonight will go to Metrograph (in construction diametrically opposed to the landmark, but nevertheless a great place to see a movie) to see the last movie made by the late, great Diana Sands, perhaps my favorite actress of the late 50's and 60's. It is called Georgia, and written by Maya Angelou; really looking forward to seeing it.
  Yesterday, a "Brooklyn" day, at least for most of the morning and afternoon. Highlight was a walk from Flatbush and Myrtle Avenue to where Myrtle meets Broadway---the route of the proposed march against gentrification that BAN is planning in September. Had no trouble with the length, even in the heat--a fascinating trip that goes through several very different neighborhoods; I hope to report on this at the BAN meeting on Monday. As usual, fascinated with the worlds that I visited. But the result of this long trip is late afternoon exhaustion---and I was home and trying to rest by around 6. I don't like to sacrifice my evenings, must figure out another way of doing all this exploration. Meanwhile I long for other neighborhoods to visit: Park Slope, or Red Hook (very isolated by mass transit).Also, I should make one trip to the Bronx, perhaps to Pelham Parkway, the neighborhood in which I was raised. Have not seen the world that the 2 line crosses in the Bronx in many years.
  That is all for now---will report soon.

rest and redemption..

that is what happened since the last post. The stomach problems persisted even after leaving the library, so I returned home very tired. Remember, the nigh before I had not slept much. Sleep, amazingly enough, came easily to me---slept on and off for 3 hours, and seemed to make up for lost time. By the time I awoke, the cramps had dissipated a great deal and the rest of the day, I was weak but mellow.
  Still, with the situation I was in, a long trip from the apartment was impossible, instead I took the novel that I was reading (Afternoon of a Faun, by James Lasdun) and went first to the coffee place on 79th street (Irving Farms) and then to the Barnes and Noble nearby.
  79th and Broadway, a place that is part of my legend. Did you know that a young woman whom I had a terrible crush on at Science lived there? Her name was Judy (middle name Terry, don't know why I remember that) and the crush came from sitting next to her in Junior year in Dr. Mannheim's English class. Then seats were changed and I was crushed. School year ended, I went away to camp (Camp Musicland on the Bard College Campus)  and that summer, all I could think about was seeing and being with her in the fall. The big building on 79th and Broadway, that was where she lived, and as someone living in the Bronx, the idea of going there--the life there at that point was much more diverse then now--fascinated me. Of course, it did not happen---for some reason, she did not share my feelings---nevertheless my "longing" for her continued through the year, and even after. Why? What did she really have to offer me?  Can't say, only know that the one time we actually walked together after school---to the subway--even as she was saying she did not want to date me--made me feel a kind of "link" with her.--a "coolness" that I deeply desired. In the four years of college that followed, I made a few attempts at contacting her---they never really worked. Still, I could not erase her from  my mind.
  Epilogue, spring 1979---I am living three blocks away from 79th and hanging out in a neighborhood bookstore. A woman approaches me, asks me where she knows me from---high school or college. It is Judy, she is now married and lives in Canada---she comes off very friendly, her mind seems to have erased the unease she felt at knowing how much I wanted to date her. A strange conversation, as we talk, my mind is  channeling my memories of her--perhaps even my "hunger" for her, while at the same time focusing on this woman who for some reason seems so anxious to touch base at the given moment, but has no memory of how much I wanted her then.. Did I remind her of the past? No, I was "cool"and friendly--more amazed at this event then anything else. .
  I never saw her again---yet that space--79nth and Broadway is a memory landmark.
  Much more comfortable this morning---have a session at 3, maybe that is why---structure is so important. Anyway, feeling kind of upbeat, not sure of what the evening will bring--will report soon.