so on this day.....

I have decided to, at this point, leave it completely unstructured. Will improvise my way though it, which means what...? Significance of a birthday....? You tell me.
Yesterday, interesting day, continued my 'estrangement" until met student Robert at the library. A very bright articulate boy with some learning gaps, should enjoy working with him, picked up another possible student as well---this one a little more intense, left library feeling (as you might imagine) kind of upbeat and more relaxed than I have in some time.
Tired, afterwards, but worked against my protective instinct and went out to south fourth for the Karaoke session. Glad I did, the "gang" was there, good to see everyone, the group, Molly in particular, were very supportive. Sang two songs, then went home, left feeling that I really belonged. Nice group of men and women simply enjoying each others company and hanging out. Or so it seemed. Nicki is returning to Iowa to be with her dad who has Parkinsons. This, despite the presence of her mother---a lot of devotion there. Not used to a world where children take care of their parents.
Interesting, with so many things to see this weekend, many of them within my budget, I feel such an arbitrary sense, like I can't find meaning in going to any of them. Maybe I am just in to conversation and contact, so would find the world a little more interesting in a bar. Amazing how much of the city I can conjure in my minds eye. Just found out about an opening reception tomorrow for an exhibit that is taking place in a space on the Grand Concourse, my old Bronx stomping grounds (Oh, how I longed for a Concourse girl friend).
Tomorrow at 6, fascinating to be there, if I decide to return. But that is the whole point, just letting things happen......