willing to let.....

it happen---I guess that is what I feel about the weekend? So many options, yet......will I go to Magic Futurebox this evening....tomorrow at Public in the evening, nice to hear from Molly---feeling good about "drifting", though have not worked at Friends in four days---a little odd---still I have gotten some things out of my "freedom"; money is looking pretty good---had a nice time at the reunion at Friends, very moved by Charlie's ceremony---good to see all the class of 07. So let us continue.....

today is

the first reunion at Friends I will attend. Wonder how it will go? The class of 07; the first class I have strong memories of (actually, remember 06 as well, but I was much closer to 07). Who will be there......? For the moment, life suspended. Then a party in the park with Jen and Ted, then tomorrow, the Bushwick party, then maybe hanging out at East River...Rock shop....Monday, work. Tough, long week but I feel invigorated----interesting walk through Buswick yesterday on my way to see ERS project---first time at the coffee place on Willoughby and Myrtle...liked it...ofcourse another all white coffee place in a world surrounded my minorities, or atleast that is what it seemed. Still, these walks are fascinating to me---crossing from Broadway to Wycoff--the J to the L. Will spend time wandering around Bushwick this summer....trying to put all of Brooklyn together in my mind---harder then the Bronx....well we will see....

so it is

almost two weeks later; have been working every day, enjoyed being with the tenth graders yesterday, havn't seen them in a long time---nice contact---then home, very tired, then could not sleep last evening for most of the time. Thoughts....fanasies......nothing but those to keep you going, city boy, how much is real, how much possible.....you keep asking yourself these questions, without getting much closer to an answer. Still, nice to have a day off, will be more relaxed this evening, able to give more time to FUREE meeting. Return to Friends tomorrow morning to proctor first of three exams, then........

a great expance of

time---finally! A day without tutoring---can have everything lead up to Trivia at South Fourth tonight.  Thought seriously about going to the film festival this morning, but then decided I did not want to rush myself----a beautiful day, atleast some heat in the apartment----possible to see a movie this afternoon, still, I think I would prefer just to go to Tiny Cup in Bed-Stuy, drink some coffee and watch the scene....then back to Houston Street to watch the baseball team play a game and then on to the burg. Is this what it will be like?  Felt yesterday that everything was adding up on me....too frenetic...today much better---need to relax, yesterday felt too tired to see the one acts at Local 68, must go tomorrow, wonder if Sonia will really go to see the "Ring Cycle" must contact Tim, good idea, let's go.....

so many things

have happened in the past few weeks----fourteen days of work; teaching an english program for ten days-----then yesterday, my first day off, the anger at what I heard on WNYC, followed by the Brooklyn movie, very important, feel like I made some important statements about it to the filmmaker. Still dissappointed in the state of America--not the America that I was promised as a young person---yet today is beautiful, lots of baseball to think about, the Ring tonight---have I worked through the anger...? Not sure, will see how the day goes---took out book about Anatole Broyard,....interesting...anyway, let's see what happens....

wild and wooly....

rough night last night----began with that strange incident at La Flaca---some strange guy put me down, and practically ordered me out---Bob was fine taking care of it----but still, can't remember any time in my years of bar sitting that this has happened---left feeling confused and a little scared, though the guy was probably drunk and helpless, he probably does not even remember what he did...nevertheless upsetting....then a hard night, tough time sleeping, getting up and opening the window to break the overwhelming heat---then closing it again, then sleeping a lot this morning. The vacation is weighining on me----too much time to deal with things, will be happy when Friends reopens Monday. Hopefully rest of the week will be more workable, quite a few things planned, tomorrow particularly, the Albee play at Signature and then trivia at South Fourth, should be meaningful fun---after that, other things to the vacation's end. Tonight still up in the air, how cold will it remain...? Probably head to South Fourth for movie, but depends on how I feel---stomach a bit weird this morning---after this head to 145 street to work with Jarenhi (I am sure I have not spelled it right) after that.....

so yesterday.....

went to the "action" in Fort Greene park; looked for FUREE, could not find it---talked to some people, not a lot of warmth, but didn't matter----participated in health care teach in, and was invited to a candlelight vigil on Thursday to prevent consolidation of city hospitals, thus endangering nearbye communities. Will probably go; feel I should lend my support---still, last night and early this morning such a split in my feelings----would really like others to do this; was this what I was "brought up" to do. Strange kind of split, can't reconcile this with my enjoyment or perhaps you might call it "passion" for the arts. The two seem totally separate. Not much else this weekend, because of the Fort Greene visit, was too tired to visit East River or Sweetwater or anywhere else. A long vacation---one more week---lots of emotional space--not too sure about tonight or tomorrow, maybe some new places, we'll see.