today after yesterday.....

tired this morning, lots of work yesterday, I move around the school with such energy, is it any wonder that I am tired the next day. Woke up this morning to NY1's coverage of a black youth being openly beaten by the cops. How long is this going to last...? Why is there such little outcry? Now you read about Signature Theater, how good Haughton is at funding. Vision-non-vision? Prices are do-able-(good!) thanks to donations from the one percent. Still full of contradictions, first play is Blood Knot, which deals with race issues, funded in part by generous giving from the city, while the police of the city.....get it.....? Lots of ideas, will see Look Back in Anger tonight, try to experience or enjoy the warm weather....

Second Day no friends

(the school, that is) exhausted after yesterday. But a much more productive day today, as I wait for Follies to begin. Bought stamps, called and got my next year's unemployment; but can't find one goddam place to buy rubbers (the kind one wears on one's feet, that is). Amazing, New York in 2012---Payless has none; a hispanic youth working at Foot Locker looks at me like I was a fool when I ask him if there are any boots for less then $100.00, then shows me a "cheap" pair for 70. Can't even find any in the poorer areas of the city, probably nothing at all on Upper west side. Guess tomorrow , I will have to simply double up on socks, then expose my regular shoes to the snow.
Good game of Trivia Wednesday, it really adds something to my day when I play it. But can only do it when there is no work. Tonight, finally Follies, just as it closes---after that Sunday at South Fourth with the football games---that's all. Off to Lincoln Center libary to get some recordings that might help me get through tomorrow's snow.

finally a day off....

the first working day in over two weeks. Slept very soundly last night--maybe because I did not think I would go to work. Good day at Friends yesterday---exhausting, but good, put everything back in perspective. Will rest enough tonight to go to trivia--first in a long while. Return to Friends tomorrow, fifth and sixth grade, should be fun ---after that----

a free day....

but to do what? Several movies seem worth a look, but can't really feel up about going to any of them. Will return to Friends tomorrow, that is good. Last night on the train, almost completely wrote the short story in my head, that I have in my mind. Want to do it---but---realize there is a difference between writing and thinking. Woke up this morning feeling exhausted---watching the game yesterday took a lot out of me. Two more next Sunday. Open space-----lots of time for thoughts, but then something happens, and things move back into focus. Know that is not very clear....but...anyway, will consider the future.....

some time to kill....

before FUREE meeting----to do what....? But Sunday was an interesting day.....saw the Susan Sontag piece, brought up a lot of issues that even now I face. Surprised at Isherwood's review; seems much too intellectual a piece to me to be successful. Looks like I will work until Friday at least...then collapse over the weekend...try to get in all the artistic events that I think of attending in, plus, some football watching....and tomorrow, hope to go play Trivia, after work...Hang in there.....

to lightness.....

who would have thought that after Deyra canceled, I might find renewel by traveling into the Bronx. But that is just what happened. On this warm day, the streets around the Concourse between 174 street and Burnside were pretty mellow, a lot of parents and children walking around, visited a street near where Grandma Landau lived, somehow, all the feelings of anger from last night and earlier this morning were purged out of me. Love to look at the old apartment buildings, my past, the world where I was raised, if not literally, then a place where in my teens I could visit and feel no worries. Finally walked down Burnside to Jerome, then back to Tremont to pick up the 36, which left the Bronx and took me to Washington Heights. Had an old fashioned donut and coffee on 181 street, read my book, felt very mellow. Now, Sunday before the football game, feeling pretty relaxed and settled. Will see what happens....?

Dark night....

so, after three days at Friends, and atleast two (probably more) to come, return to the apartment exhausted, and begin the "dark night." Too tired to go anywhere, not too much to listen to on the radio, somehow, you seem to be looking into the void. Get up alot during the night, always with a feeling of anger---now, as the day begins, and you sit in the library waiting for student Deyra, life and the sensitivity of it, returns to normal. Still, this long stand at Friends, seems to have evoked some feelings that were unexpected. Money may be part of it---can't see it till the end of the month, but there are other things as well. Possibilities for working through it---we'll see. Tonight, Tanya at Kraine, maybe other projects around there as well. As usual, we will see....

All dressed up....

Got the news today; three days at Friends for the rest of the week. So what do I do today? Don't want to do anything too "taxing". but what does that mean. Probably check in with Bobby later today, for the rest, it is very cold, have to do something near a subway---never tried The Stone before, maybe tonight, but ofcourse that is not near the subway (Avenue C)
Anyway, New Year's Eve was good, got the most out of it at South Fourth, then the long walk up Lewis Avenue on Sunday---these walks are informative, but they knock me out for the rest of the day. Still, have to do them. Anyway, try to figure out therest of the day..that is my ambition....