Surviving the heat....

Another hot day promised. It is now Sunday morning at 5-5:22 to be exact. Second day of a "free" weekend. No plans, as such but what limitations. Limitations from the heat---from monetary issues---from lack of planning or contacting friends who might meet with me today. Four years ago, would have simply figured I could make it to Bushwick and take it from there---but is it possible that the heat is really more intense four years later? Heating centers---like the Geffen or the Rubinstein Atrium near Lincoln Center not opened until 9. Left with my adequate at best fan--can do the job---but....

For those who read the last post and are wondering how the Port entrance worked---the answer is that it was successful. I dealt with it---was put under---received the Port and life seems to have continued without much interference from it. A little more tired then usual, but that could be from many factors---as far as the Port entrance going, it seems to be okay. 

A movie yesterday---Afire, conceived and directed by German film maker Chrisitan Petzoid. Very harsh, intellectual---well conceived but with characters I really did not like. Beautiful to look at--less dynamic then the two other films of his that I have seen---very controlled. Many other movies to see today if I wish in the city---would like to see if I can do without one---but with this heat sometimes a movie is simply inevitable.

Last Sunday I visited the Fiction Center in Brooklyn, you know, the one diagonnaly across from the original BAM. I buy a coffee, then go sit in their Reading Room adjacent to the main room. Somehow I feel a kind of magic when I go there. It is all about Reading--Writing---nothing more. Could I spend a whole day simply reading there? Find one book and just move through it? And what about writing...?

Nothing more for now---the sun will be up soon. Can think about coffee...or.....

early morning fourth of July...

 So, here I am, one week  from the port going in---have done very little investigation about what the first few days with it in will be like. What about the first night? Will normalcy take over immediately. A friend of mine has volunteered to be with me after the procedure and make sure that I get back to the apartment---but I don't know how long she can commit to. I will try to do some more investigating this week---not today, of course but there should be enough time to get some feedback from others who have experienced this procedure and gotten through it well. 

And what of today? What I have planned is a visit to my friend's bar, on Avenue C and 9th to watch the second Yankees Orioles game which begins at 1. After that, maybe hop on the L and go into Brooklyn, and do some visiting in Bushwick. Maybe....It has been a long time since I was there--it's not four or five years ago, when going out there was just like breathing. Of course all this is tentative---depending on my energy level-plans and options can change at any time---plenty of movies to check out if I want some alternative action.

Passion on the B train. Well, not quite, but Thursday afternoon, somewhat tired, yet comitted to visit a friend who was graduating from training to be a guide at the Brooklyn Botanical Gardens. Got all my energy together---left early-then, as the B train was crossing from Manhattan to Brooklyn--all that light---he texts me that he has covid and is not going.  Frustrated..? Not really--it just meant some other options around BAM that I could explore. Ended up eating and watchng baseball at a very friendly and accepting bar on Fulton Street---still somewhat leery about going into bars with my condition, but this went very well. Then up the street to the Center for Fiction--again, a place I visited often in 2019---had a coffee and then went into their reading room and read for a while. It seemed to me I had entered a kind of paradise---I felt so good there---the calm, the energy just really got to me. Thought that I could just come there some morning with a book and just read all day, staying in that room. It won't happen today---they are closed for the holiday---but maybe do that soon.

So it is time to read. In the middle of Alls Well that Ends Well, and Antonio's Revenge by John Marsden, a contemporary of Shakespeare. Great contrasts-Marsden--so far--is all about plot and arc---some of Shakespeare's writing seems so much deeper and with more point.. Will continue today---will report soon.

the next Sunday morning...

 So, here i am, getting ready for a full  Sunday. Yesterday i finally got to see Leopoldstadt---I had to see it soon because it is closing in a week. Got to the rush ticket line about 9:35--actually a little late---was about 15th on line. But got a ticket in the second balcony for my $35.00; not really a bad seat and saw the play. Well, a full and passionate evening of theater--a very strong production--but Stoppard's sense of control was very apparent to me. You could always feel the wheels turning as each scene progressed. Very intellectual---I learned nothing that I did not know, but the abhorrent Nazi vision that destroys this upper middle class Jewish family was very evident. But what does Stoppard want the audience to take from this grim story of destruction.? Should I remember how, as a middle class Jewish kid in the fifties how removed my whole family---and the families of my friends and my parents friends--were from what happened in Europe? Is that what Stoppard would like? At any rate, the play was very well performed and directed--what seemed like a million American actors running around with perfect British accents. One step in my current "theater extravaganza" completed.

Amd what next. I think I will try to see In Corpo-a musical created by a friend of mine with one of my favorite groups---Assembly. Playing in a theater far west on 42nd---won't have to deal with the enormous crowds and garish and bizarre comings and goings of people around Broadway--as I was last night. If I see it today, it will complete the "obligatory" part of my current theater interest. Waking up this morning I wondered if maybe I should spend some of the free time i have alotted for theater going with friends--who I seem to be pushing away, as I try to figure out what play to see next. Maybe I should shift priorites. Although there are many plays around to check out that I find interesting, I think that Comeuppence, by Brandon Jennings-Jacobs is the only one I really want to see. And that ruus until the ninth. This morning I felt a desire to return to Hansberry's The Sign in Sidney Brustein's Window--you know I left after the first act at BAM. Would like to see the second act--but of course it finishes its run in a week.  Will I go? Who knows.

I see my nurse practioner this week---I assume she will inform me about when the doctor wants me to get the port. I guess my body will handle it will---I am really not thinking about it much--right now just taking my medication and going with the flow---will report soon.

Surreal Saturday night....

walked up and down 23rd between 7th and 8th --around 9:30---kind of surreal. Why? Can't really say---street full of people, there is a comedy club close to 7th--a bar that I would sometimes go into and watch baseball--pre pandemic of course is also there--could have just got into the subway stop and gone home, but had just come from a dance concert at NY Live Arts nearby and wanted to "take in" the neighborhood. So I did, When I approached the uptown subway station on 23rd and 7th, I saw it was closed, so I had to trek up seventh avenue to 33rd to get my train. Long walk---left me wanting desert---tired somewhat this morning. 

My being in the neighborhood was to take in a Dance Concert at New York Live Arts, a really good space about halfway west of 7th on 19th street. Orlando Hernandez. a student from Friends who graduated in 08 was part of a group of 5 choreographers showing their work. Had to wait to see if I could get in (I did); then sit through some dissappointing projects to get to his. His were the best---tap dancing and very fluid choreography--dynamic use of space---I was happy for him. Afterwards said hello---he was quite happy to see me---also surprised, i guess, Other Friends people had been there the night before---I guess I was the only one there last night---still, a kind of surreal quality about the whole evening. 

Lots of energy in my first two days after last infusion of Avastan and Iranitocan. Also learned that I must switch my medication to a port since veins are pretty shot, according to the staff at NY Cancer and Blood. Do not have a date for change to port yet---probably sometime in July---not really worried about the change, but hope it won't interfere with my teaching or my need to move around the city on my days off. 

And today...not sure? There is a play about the Freedom Summer of 64 at Theater for the New City that I would like to check out. I feel very linked to that time (I graudated from Hopkins that summer) and try to check out any play or movie that deals with it. Yet, somehow, I really don't want to go. But what then? Would like to end the day at my friend Bob's bar on Avenue C and ninth---just chill and watch some baseball. Tomorrow the library is closed---so no tutoring---another day of choices---might be nice to go to Bushwick and see if I could find some old friends from there--but who knows; everything changes so quickly---will report soon.

Should check in....

 the "long weekend" ended up being just that. but on Saturday afternoon I did go to the Met and saw this wonderful production of Don Giovanni--a really joyful experience. A great cast that worked beautifully off each other---every moment clear--some of the staging worked---some didn't, but it did not matter, because the flow was so meaningful. The arc from that first time---in February of 66 to that afternoon seems incredible--a 'sung" opera with major singers, but with staging that was just workable---acceptable for its time---to this totally integrated production using every part of the stage. I left feeling completely whole.

Sunday a slow day---kind of in a physical torpor---not much energy--to be expected after the two days before.Still it was difficult. Finally, around 5, spent an hour in the neighborhood Barnes and Noble just browing, and kind of felt excited by being part of a different energy. Of course did not buy anything.

Monday was able to visit my friend Bob's bar, in the afternoon, hang out, and absorb myself in the baseball game between the Mets and ....can't even remember. Still, enjoyed absorbing myself in it.

Tuesday and Wednesday---some tutoring but mostly tired. The new medication, more potent, seemed to be catching up to me. On Thursday, however, had three straight hours--worked very hard--and left tired but very fulfilled. So ofcourse, Friday my body was very slow---I got through one hour of teaching but just by luck. Had to stay home the rest of the day. Same with yesterday--wanted to take it easy but often feel stymied by simply being in the apartment. Outside is so much more interesting. But last night I opted to stay indoors---enjoyed reading Either Or by Elif Batumin--still, a very restless overnight--which brings us to now. Sunday morning. 

Could have tutored in Jackson Heights--with my adult student whose company I enjoy, but skipped it, because I wanted to store my energy for this afternoon. I am finally seeing Without You, the one man show created by and starring Anthony Rapp. I had been putting it off for God knows how long, but finally an going to it. Anthony and I were close friends mostly in the years 91-96---we had a really terrific rapport, but I really have had almost no contact with him in the last 15 years. So i am going this afternoon, and will say hello to him afterwards---I hope he greets me warmly---but---you never know--young impertuous actors can sometimes turn into cautious adults==a "morphing" process. I will accept  any reaction from him--certainly hope we can rekindle some of our old friendship. But I could not see myself bypassing his production so here I go.

Still wondering how the new infusion---much stronger---will effect my life. Feeling kind of overwhelmed by the choices available to me---a heavy week ahead with tutoring and the Friends graduation on Thursday. We'll see how I feel when I get through it....

so the long weekend begins....

 And a weekend so different from others that i have particpated in recently. Why? The absense of any tutoring chores---meaning a have a 'deluxe" amount of free time. Ah free time. Always seems so inviting when you don't have it---but when it arrives...? Lots of choices to make---monetarily and otherwise. So where to begin?

Chioice number one: Don Giovanni this afternoon at the Met. Practially my last chance to see this new production by a director whose work I have always found interesting, and who, from the pictures and the reviews that I have read has created a very special entity and look for this opera. But will I get in and how? Even family circle, where I usually sit and enjoy sitting there has, if my last look at the seat map is accurate, almost no seats left. So can I stand? Well, that is a much cheaper alternative---right now my body feels incredibly strong (a new infusion two days ago seems to have charged my energy) so standing through act I---an act of almost an hour and a half, might be possible. Interesting, I remember the first performance of the opera that I saw---February of 66---one of the last productions in the "Old Met" which was to shut down and move to Lincoln Center in a few months. I think it was also the day that I "failed" my first army physical--a great relief at that time. Then, also i stood---in the orchestra. Siepi was the Don and Geraint Evans, a most specific Leporello. How many years have passed since that Monday evening---how many thoughts and conversations have you had about the opera since then. If I miss it? Well, that is that--one more performance this coming Friday I could try, or probably this production will be shown on the screen in the last week of August when the Met has their outdooyr screenings in the Lincoln Center Plaza.  But I really want to live through the performance this afternoon. Strange, as I went out for coffee I thought--"what a great day for a walk---maybe instead of the opera I should just take the train to Brooklyn an wander down Fifth avenue in Park Slope, or walk east on Fulton to where Clinton Hill meets Bed-Stuy. Something very soothing about that fantasy--well maybe tomorrow or Monday, if I have no plans for the evening. But most weekends--- only two days---seem rushed. This weekend does not.

Time and space---yes, how to use it this weekend, that is the question. And will my body cooperate with my choices? It seems very strong this morning. Oh well,we will see. Have recently read two autobiographys ; one by Mary Rodgers and the other by Chita Rivera. Very different takes on life, but both fulfilling to read. Now, my one book for this weekend is about Martin Luther King and his partners in the Civil Rights Movement as they plan and try to break through the frightening segregation and rage of white Brirmingham in 63. Quite a different voyage from the last two, but I chose this book for my long weekend reading  to move to a tougher and more focused topic. Will I finish it...? Well, will report back soon.

Has it been this long....

since I last published? Come on, cityboy, isn't life more interesting then that? So what's new? Just about everything. Where to begin? 

Health: Took first infusion of new powerful drug last Thursday (a week) and its effects have been strong. Last two days quite a lot of torpor to fight against, plus changes in digestion. This is after I added my "mandatory" pills to the mix on Tuesday. A real sense of fatigue--some different digestive calculations---but---I did not stop my tutoring assignments and have a few today, so I worked though it-nevertheless there is a different feeling---so far. This morning I awoke feeling a greater sense of energy then I had for the last two days---but I still have not added my pill and who knows how long this will last? But at this point I am experiencing a sense of vitality---perhaps stimulated by all the contradictions I see around me. Not too much to do just to let it happen.

Theater: a million projects in the city---trying to at least see the ones with people that I know involved in. But that will also be an energy and time issue. Yesterday i read an article in one of the theater magazines about a black artistic director, hired pre pandemic--who has just stepped down after dealing with the downs of the last few years. She's had enough, and I can't blame her. The contradictions in the not for profit theater in my opinion have reached a boiling point. Does anyone in New York theater want to discuss this? Might try to organize a forum in the next month with some friends who are active in theater---its a possibility.

What else? Trying to consider the housing crisis in the city---nothing accomplished to help it in the State Legislature since the Democratic party is so split between the "moderates" and progressives. Meanwhile even as rents go up and there is a lot of competition for apartments--every e-mail I see about a play being performed in a small theater--which means there is not a lot of pay---has a large cast. So how are these people making it? About 50 choices to see this weekend---not counting movies--if I am up to it.

Some good news---just about every major league game this weekend will be shown on the computer for free. Amazing! I don't have to leave the house at all if I don't want to. But if I stay in, I go stir crazy. You figure it out.....