stomach much improved....

feeling very good this morning--lots of room to think. Still trying to put a human face on the "event" two weeks from today. Would like to find out what is happening there, but at the same time...well you know...it is simply hard to imagine going through this. Well, still a lot of time---can "reach out" and see how it evolves.
  Yesterday before first session walked from 145th street and Broadway to 162nd and Jumel Terrace, a fascinating street in the middle of south Washington Heights. Why do I enjoy walking around the city so much? Always something new to discover. A group of Brownstones that seem to be cut off from the rest of the neighborhood. But were they always? What about during the crack era that effected so much of the surrounding neighborhood? If it weren't so cold today, could walk around more---the cold sort of limits things---well, only a few more days.
  Tonight no plans yet---could possibly, if I am not too tired,  head to south Williamsburg and visit a bar near South fourth where several of my friends from that bar are said to congregate on Tuesday evenings. At least that was the word in the winter---wonder if it has changed now. Would really enjoy talking to Kathy and Harlo, among others. Lots of other choices as well---want to get out of the house--will see if I am refreshed enough after two sessions to go.
  Still holding on to my ticket to The Lehman Trilogy. I think I will go, but the idea of selling the ticket has not left me. Not doing anything to make it happen, though, so let;s see how it evolves. Would not be a terrible idea for me to see it, since that is what I got the ticket for in the first place, right?
  That's all for now, will probably report tomorrow.

Monday morning...

awoke with a lot of gut pain in my stomach. It has since regressed--feeling basically much better---two weeks until day of scheduled colonoscopy preparation. Feel more motivated now, would like very much to know what is going on in my stomach that is causing this problem. Also, good to get all the "gunk" out of my system. But can I do it?  Will need a lot of support--I have contacted a group that gives support to (I hope) all levels of dealing with colonoscopy. Hopefully they may pair me up with a "buddy"---that is what I need, someone to help me through the day---there is something so cold and analytical about the way the colonoscopy vision is handled---I know it is considered good for everybody---but I need a human face on it, not just statements from friends and acquaintances that it is "dooable". Well, hopefully I am closer to dealing with it.
  Thursday--no Philharmonic (no senior tickets) ended up seeing the movie, The Highwaymen, a very skilled feature starring Kevin Costner and Woody Harrelson. Totally a genre movie and yet written and performed and directed in a way that kept my interest completely. Anyone who is studying screenwriting or who desires to be a successful screenwriter should definitely see this movie. I was totally engrossed, even if these characters were ones whom I was acquainted with from past movies.
Saw it at Landmark 57, that strange theater that is all the way west on 57th street--has really comfortable seats and great prints in the small screening room.
  Friday---to Brooklyn in the morning (thank goodness!) hung out a bit at Cobra, touched base with my bartender friend Olivia---then home then back to Brooklyn in the evening, to Jack to see my friend William's play Variations. Similar to most of William's other efforts, this is a dense piece with dialogue that is disconnected from any real sort of narrative. So the play stands or falls on that. Sometimes offputting, but some very evocative moments and some good music statements from William's collaborator Catherine. Very small house--I think it created a much greater sense of intimacy and sharing which the play really needs. As I watched the piece, I could lounge on the platform for spectators, since there was no one near me. Perfect for this play. Two actress friends who are really talented, Kate and Layla were in it, and they really did a great job.
 Stomach starved after it was over---I chose to go to the Pizza place on Fulton near Annex--they make really good pizza, then went home, even though I "toyed" with the possibility of having a beer. Did not need it.
  Saturday, just work and tiredness afterwards. No night existence.
 Yesterday (Sunday) off to LIC to see a work in progress directed by my friend Sarah---an interesting piece about climate change, and what I would call, bourgeois complacency. Some parts obvious, some parts very entertaining--great cast---where will they go with this. Afterwards hit the diner at Court Square for a blt and coffee, then headed to La Flaca, where I watched the Duke-UCF game which UCF came very close to winning. Bartender James was very nice to me--allowed me to watch most of the game with just a coke an later some small guac. Left about 9, instead of going to the subway right away, the body wanted to walk and so I traveled from Grand and Clinton to Grand
and Christie---north on Christie (past an obnoxious smelling development sight) to Houston then over to Broadway--Lafayette quite a walk. Then home.
  Let's see how the day evolves health wise, will probably stay home this evening and will report tomorrow.

So it continues....

last night slept well---first time in a long time--why? because the date for the colonoscopy is settled. Will try to do it---not much more to say---still see a lot of challenges in the day before. But at least the time is defined---maybe I am a little more relaxed about that.
  Yesterday, after the sessions, simply returned home--today at 6 P.M. at the auditorium of the Lincoln Center library there is a presentation that is part of the Jerome Robbins centennial exhibit. It is about "the Papa piece" a theater project that Robbins worked on towards the end of his life, but was never brought to full production. And yet, apparently, lots of information and possible texts of it remain. This presentation will try to reveal what that was---I think that it will probably be sold out, but i will try to get there and either get in, or possibly watch from outside---sometimes they have a screen in the hall way that shows what is happening in the auditorium. For me, perhaps the final "link' in my Robbins vision.After that---well who knows...? I am close enough to where the Philharmonic plays to maybe get a senior rush ticket to the concert there---the musical director conducting Brahms 1st.  Something else...we will see,,lots of basketball to watch today and tomorrow, if one is interested (I am mildly so).
 Will try to pick up my ticket to the Lehman Trilogy after this---still not sure whether I will see it or try to sell the ticket. Like everything else, now, it is up in the air. Will report tomorrow.

Finally, a date....

for the colonoscopy---April 8, a Tuesday, not ideal, because I have a Friends commitment that day (it will be easy to find another person for that) but that is what it is. Met the doctor who will supervise this; Dr Daniel and he turned out to be basically very fair and friendly. That's good. Still wonder if I will be able to get through the day before--may take a lot of work and determination---this gives me about three weeks to see whether my stomach problems will abate, and also means I won't be missing any important sessions.
  One conflict that is unavoidable,, however is that the weekend before is the weekend of the Hopkins reunion. I really wanted to be there---now this may be impossible--need some time to think it over--why did Hopkins have to have this reunion so early in April (the earliest date ever, as far as i can remember)? I hate to disappoint my friend Jeff who is really counting on me to be there, but even if I can get an early train to return to NY, is it realistic to go anyway? And the food issue---another problem. I need a few days to figure this out (a few days to figure everything out) before I make up my mind.
  Last night, stayed home, tired, and stomach was going "bonkers". Not great--hopefully I can be out tonight.
 Nothing else new, as the vacation continues--lots of decisions to make.

nice day...

have already found out their are no senior tickets available for tonight's Philharmonic concert in which my friend Richard Goode is playing the last Mozart piano concerto. Too bad, I would have liked to be there---I always feel a kind of connection and pride when I see Richard playing. And why shouldn't I? I have been watching him play the piano since we were in public school Quite a long time, and he was as brilliant then, as he is now, in his seventies.
  Memory: our class is in a small room with a piano--our teacher Mrs. Hoffman says: "would you like to hear a treat?" She asks Richard to play and he plays (expertly, of course) the Gollywog Cakewalk by Debussy. Really an incredible memory.
  Last night---after two sessions, headed to the Public where Frank, my friend, secured a comp for me to see The Team's latest project entitled Anything That Gives Off Light. A three actor play with a background band--it is a wild and intense ride of visions that move very quickly off each other. Lots of topics re America or capitalism or brought up, but they really are touched, not explored. The three actors are so intense and talented you sometimes forget how frustrating it is to have the content shifted so often. Glad to see my friend Jesse, who does a remarkable job with her role as a West Virginia wife and mother on the run (at least I think that is who she plays). Like Christine's play at the Bushwick Starr which I saw last week, it indulges itself a little too much---it seems comfortable moving from issue to issue and genre to genre without much regard for its audience. Still, the audience that was there last night loved it; the Team has built its own following, I think, and they were there to support the three excellent actors. They go to a bar on 5th street afterwards to hang out, called Scratchers---I decided not to go this time---I was tired, but I might meet them there later in the run. I have never been to Scratchers, should be interesting.
  Tomorrow I get my appointment for the colonoscopy---all well and good---also have to make a decision about the Hopkins Reunion in a little more than two weeks. I would love to go, but the timing is so bad---so many other things are happening---can't decide anything yet; maybe tomorrow will clear things up---will report soon.

Have I finally come to terms with....

the colonoscopy situation? See a doctor on Wednesday who will probably give me an appointment somewhere in the near future. Face it, cityboy, you have got to do it---the facts that you are dealing with on a daily basis prove that. Had a rough night last night after a very tired day, but the energy level is decent now. The point is, that I should try to see this the same way as if I had busted my ankle and I had to have surgery to have it heal. It is a practical experience. Can you confront it this way? I think I am getting closer and closer to seeing the procedure and its day before in that way. Well, let's see what happens Wednesday.
  Tonight will see the Team's project at Joe's Pub, after a few sessions. Still adjusting to the vacation energy---would like to spend some time in Brooklyn---hope that i get the chance.
 Yesterday, the tiredness continued into the evening---stayed home, read, listened to music, rested. Am reading the book about the development and presentation of Angels in America. Some very good statements by the people who participated in the project at different times. Saw Millenium twice, the second New York performance and the last Wednesday matinee. The second time was fascinating---that cast found layers in the writing that I had not seen previously. That was probably because at the second performance, the cast was under so much pressure---they were just using their acting expertise to just "bring" it. The replacement cast was under no pressure, they could find their own strength as they went along. Anyway, it was an exciting afternoon. The late David Margolies, a wonderful actor was a friend and I went that afternoon to support him. He was happy to see me after the performance and brought some great things to his interpretation of Roy Cohn.
 That is where we will leave it---should report tomorrow.

tired today...

and why should not I be? Yesterday, after two sessions (very productive) rested, then went to the Starr to see my friend Christina's play. Adventure on the way to the Star----got off at Flushing and Broadway, then thought a bus might get me to Wycoff, but of course, no bus in sight. So I walked, and walked and walked---all the way to Flushing and Irving---then over to Starr--practically yelling by the end--what a sense of "triumph"! But I did it. Stopped off at a Salad place on Irving and Starr (they are incredibly nice) and then went to the play. It is an odd and passionate piece, really in two parts. The first combines surrealism, mystery, legend, the unknown, and sexual bullying. The secoond part---it fades in without any warning is a confessional by Christine, the actress and playwright, in which she deals with her Japanese-American identity. I like Christine---we had a really nice conversation on a Saturday in December after Jill F's project---so I am trying to be as supportive as possible. Some very imaginative things in the piece---and some self indulgence as well. Still, the audience really loved it, and the rest of the cast is, as usual for the Starr and other experimental venues, totally inventive. I would have liked to say hello to Christine after the play ended, but so many people were waiting for her---so I decided to head for the Starr Bar, across the street, to get some food and with the hope that she and her friends might arrive there as well. They did not, so I did not get a chance to chat with her, or let her k now I was there, but I had nice meal at the Starr, and enjoyed the ambiance. Then it was off on the Subway shuttle to the M on Myrtle and Wycoff (the M arrived quickly) and back to the city. Cold, I did not bring a hat (I should have) but I got home in good shape. But that walking--no wonder that i am tired.
  Slow day, today---three more days until Wednesday morning when i see the doctor and get an appointment for a colonoscopy. Still dealing with resistance, even though intellectually I do think it is important. Things have changed. Well, let's see what happens, will report soon.