picture of the black man being shot by police in Tulsa. Had not seen it until one of my friends put it on facebook. What can you say...? Helpless feeling...where do we go from here...how can this behavior be stopped?
Last day before two work days at Friends. Looking forward to it. Yesterday, got a last minute tutoring call for 6, and this prevented me from going to help at FUREE. After that went to bar that is attached to Harlem Public and watched baseball and had one of their really good franks. Both bartenders very nice to me, made me feel welcome, one, who had taken care of me often in the spring, welcomed me back and invited me to go to her friend's bar (where her friend bar tends) in the next couple of days. Nice to be remembered, then left, feeling tired, but walked to 157th street station. Returned to the apartment around 9:30, fell asleep quickly, but then as has often been the case, woke up several times during the evening feeling lots of energy but nowhere to go with it. Did not help that before I left Wallace's (the bar) I had an order of french fries. They make great fries but really unnecessary for my stomach. Payed for it this morning. Guess I just need more stimulation in the evening to sleep well. Hard to do it without a tv or computer---just the radio. Still alone with my own thoughts, sometimes it is important to figure things out without distraction. Every evening is a little different. Anyway, went through my agenda for the day (already followed through) and soldiered through. Tonight several choices if I am not feeling tired, maybe even a movie of not great interest will stimulate me enough to chill out during the night.
That is all for now. Next two days will be spent working at Friends, so there may be a break. Will report as soon as I am free.
Wednesday, September 21, 2016
Tuesday, September 20, 2016
stomach better.....
pretty quiet night, stomach wise--slept well----today could be a quiet day. May go out to Park Slope to help with banners for a march against gentrification on Thursday. I won't be on the march, because I am working.
Yesterday---attended BAN meeting that was mostly a preparation for a protest to be held next Wednesday (28) outside a real estate-tech start up meeting. BAN meeting was very poorly attended---only about 4 ore 5 of us. Much talk about gentrification in both Sunset Park (industry city) and downtown Brooklyn. My vision of the real estate developers in charge of these two entities is that they are very soulless. Anyone who can't pay 3,000 dollars for a one bedroom is meaningless to them. There is no ethical or human vision to be had. Expressed that at the meeting---a little dangerously but felt it was necessary---wanted to shake things up. Afterwards felt that I had crossed the line. Did I?
A dream: very focused dream last night---I am at a party for a man named Jon Green. He was two years behind me at Hopkins, a good friend, particularly in my last year, the year I practically recreated the world of undergraduate theater at Hopkins. . In the dream, I am visiting him in the present, I think it is a birthday party for him---he does not know that I am coming; one of the things that I assume about him is that now he is very wealthy. I am a little awed by this, don't know how he will respond to me. I get to his house in the suburbs, climb the stairs among his party guests, none of whom know me, and see him at the top of the stairs. I shout "Tajamoro thrown from a horse? There is not a horse in all Japan that can throw Tajamoro!" This was his first line in a play called Rashomon, a play that he performed, and I produced at Hopkins in December 1963. He recognizes the line, repeats it (with some corrections) and I face an older he at the top of the stairs. Dream ends.
So what does it mean? clues? Name Jon Green---could mean that I am green with anger---or envy. Earlier in the day read a memoir by Reynold Levy, in which he praises two contributors to Lincoln Center--very wealthy men. The play that I remember him in, Rashomon, is a dramatization of a very well known Kurosawa movie---a story of rape and suicide is retold four times. A woman, who at the time I thought was very important to me was in the play, in a small role. So we are dealing with then and now, a vast swath of time to be covered. My adult life.In the dream, he is the establishment, I am the rebel- still amazed at how strong the dream vision was. Actually slept very well last night, much better than the two nights before.
That's sort of it.
Today, not sure what the rest of the afternoon holds, want to go to help with the banners and discuss last night's group with my friend Michael who is one of the leaders of the march.
Will report tomorrow.
Yesterday---attended BAN meeting that was mostly a preparation for a protest to be held next Wednesday (28) outside a real estate-tech start up meeting. BAN meeting was very poorly attended---only about 4 ore 5 of us. Much talk about gentrification in both Sunset Park (industry city) and downtown Brooklyn. My vision of the real estate developers in charge of these two entities is that they are very soulless. Anyone who can't pay 3,000 dollars for a one bedroom is meaningless to them. There is no ethical or human vision to be had. Expressed that at the meeting---a little dangerously but felt it was necessary---wanted to shake things up. Afterwards felt that I had crossed the line. Did I?
A dream: very focused dream last night---I am at a party for a man named Jon Green. He was two years behind me at Hopkins, a good friend, particularly in my last year, the year I practically recreated the world of undergraduate theater at Hopkins. . In the dream, I am visiting him in the present, I think it is a birthday party for him---he does not know that I am coming; one of the things that I assume about him is that now he is very wealthy. I am a little awed by this, don't know how he will respond to me. I get to his house in the suburbs, climb the stairs among his party guests, none of whom know me, and see him at the top of the stairs. I shout "Tajamoro thrown from a horse? There is not a horse in all Japan that can throw Tajamoro!" This was his first line in a play called Rashomon, a play that he performed, and I produced at Hopkins in December 1963. He recognizes the line, repeats it (with some corrections) and I face an older he at the top of the stairs. Dream ends.
So what does it mean? clues? Name Jon Green---could mean that I am green with anger---or envy. Earlier in the day read a memoir by Reynold Levy, in which he praises two contributors to Lincoln Center--very wealthy men. The play that I remember him in, Rashomon, is a dramatization of a very well known Kurosawa movie---a story of rape and suicide is retold four times. A woman, who at the time I thought was very important to me was in the play, in a small role. So we are dealing with then and now, a vast swath of time to be covered. My adult life.In the dream, he is the establishment, I am the rebel- still amazed at how strong the dream vision was. Actually slept very well last night, much better than the two nights before.
That's sort of it.
Today, not sure what the rest of the afternoon holds, want to go to help with the banners and discuss last night's group with my friend Michael who is one of the leaders of the march.
Will report tomorrow.
Monday, September 19, 2016
Monday afternoon....
hard to express what I am feeling now. Main problem of the day was that I had cheesecake last night, very rich and my stomach has not recovered. Really. Have had one very good session with someone I am helping with her english---should feel upbeat about that, could feel my creativity coming through as I guided her during the lesson. But this over eating puts a kind of kibosh on anything. This, and some of the comments I have read on facebook, plus the fact that the ESDC is accountable to no one but the governor. We don't need another tall building, which hopefully he won't sponsor. The system has to be changed.
Does the above make any sense as I juggle two or three topics that are in my head. Let's try to be a little more normal:
Saturday night: Three different invitations to see friends or projects of friends, but all were in Brooklyn, by six I realized that I did not have the energy, after two days at Friends and teaching in the morning to cross the river. So I opted for a movie---Mia Madre was starting just as I approached the Angelica---got my ticket and went in. A fine movie---very serious---very skilfully made---the director-writer moves the audience along with him never pandering or stopping to make a point. Two stories, a director (female) copes with her mother's serious illness while she tries to direct a movie about the takeover of a factory and the conflict between the new owner and the workers. An American actor is imported to play the owner, he is grossly narcissistic--lots of problems as he attempts to fit in. John Turturro plays the actor---a wonderful performance, he captures every narcissistic tick from every conversation that he has ever heard. Still the movie is serious. Lots of intergrity---glad I saw it---afterwards walked from Angelica to La Flaca; my friend the owner Bobby not there, but I was able to watch a lot of the Met game (my goal) and have some guac. Returned home tired---not a bad night.
Sunday: highlight was a long walk after starting out at South Fourth---began there and walked up Roebling as it turns into Lee, up Lee until it turns into Nostrand and continuing South on Nostrand to Halsey. Still fascinated by the streets of Bed-Stuy---the western edge of the neighborhood highly gentrified by now, yet as one moves south one sees many older black men sitting in front of their apartments houses---watching the day go by. I wonder what stories they have to tell. Is it possible that this neighborhood was once tough? That was its reputation---pockets of poverty still seem to line the blocks, though the brownstones on the streets that run perpendicular to Nostrand are really beautiful (and very expensive by now). As I walking on Nostrand, thought that before it gets too cold, I should make this north to south walk on each of the streets that move east to Ralph avenue.Halsey Street bus took me through those streets until it crossed Broadway into Bushwick. There I went to Cobra---watched football, then had a salad nearbye and called it quits early. Returned to ny--that is when the cheesecake incident kicked in.
Just received an offer to sub Friday---feeling better---time running out on library computer---remember not to have cheesecake again---will report tomorrow
Does the above make any sense as I juggle two or three topics that are in my head. Let's try to be a little more normal:
Saturday night: Three different invitations to see friends or projects of friends, but all were in Brooklyn, by six I realized that I did not have the energy, after two days at Friends and teaching in the morning to cross the river. So I opted for a movie---Mia Madre was starting just as I approached the Angelica---got my ticket and went in. A fine movie---very serious---very skilfully made---the director-writer moves the audience along with him never pandering or stopping to make a point. Two stories, a director (female) copes with her mother's serious illness while she tries to direct a movie about the takeover of a factory and the conflict between the new owner and the workers. An American actor is imported to play the owner, he is grossly narcissistic--lots of problems as he attempts to fit in. John Turturro plays the actor---a wonderful performance, he captures every narcissistic tick from every conversation that he has ever heard. Still the movie is serious. Lots of intergrity---glad I saw it---afterwards walked from Angelica to La Flaca; my friend the owner Bobby not there, but I was able to watch a lot of the Met game (my goal) and have some guac. Returned home tired---not a bad night.
Sunday: highlight was a long walk after starting out at South Fourth---began there and walked up Roebling as it turns into Lee, up Lee until it turns into Nostrand and continuing South on Nostrand to Halsey. Still fascinated by the streets of Bed-Stuy---the western edge of the neighborhood highly gentrified by now, yet as one moves south one sees many older black men sitting in front of their apartments houses---watching the day go by. I wonder what stories they have to tell. Is it possible that this neighborhood was once tough? That was its reputation---pockets of poverty still seem to line the blocks, though the brownstones on the streets that run perpendicular to Nostrand are really beautiful (and very expensive by now). As I walking on Nostrand, thought that before it gets too cold, I should make this north to south walk on each of the streets that move east to Ralph avenue.Halsey Street bus took me through those streets until it crossed Broadway into Bushwick. There I went to Cobra---watched football, then had a salad nearbye and called it quits early. Returned to ny--that is when the cheesecake incident kicked in.
Just received an offer to sub Friday---feeling better---time running out on library computer---remember not to have cheesecake again---will report tomorrow
Saturday, September 17, 2016
What a....
difference three days make. Thursday around 7 in the morning, I receive a call from Friends---they need me to sub that day. Amazing! On the fourth day of school. Not ready at all, so rushed through bath and beyond and got there in an hour (actually less) Got to see all the faculty, very warmly welcomed back. Nice day---went home and rested and prepared for Friday, a day for which I was actually scheduled to sub at Friends (senior day meant many teachers on the senior trip) Nice day yesterday, ending in a fun (but somewhat exhausting) homework session with about twenty 8th graders at the top of their form. There are always some "hypers" in the group, but they are actually the most fun. Really like that group, looking forward to working with them again. Returned home after work, rested, no trip to Brooklyn or Lower East Side. Next scheduled day there is Thursday (maybe sooner, who knows); it was really good to be back.
Of course everything changes on days when that structure is strong---often feel like a different person. Everything happens in the present---must continue that way.
Rest of day (Saturday) free---may go to see my friend Steve talk at Molasses, a book store in Brooklyn, It is part of the Assembly group get together. Have to stop now, really getting hungry, and baseball game should be on soon, have to find a bar that will play it. Will report soon,
Of course everything changes on days when that structure is strong---often feel like a different person. Everything happens in the present---must continue that way.
Rest of day (Saturday) free---may go to see my friend Steve talk at Molasses, a book store in Brooklyn, It is part of the Assembly group get together. Have to stop now, really getting hungry, and baseball game should be on soon, have to find a bar that will play it. Will report soon,
Wednesday, September 14, 2016
last night...
at first BAN meeting of the year (meaning the school year, September) lots of plans and commitments made. Four possibilities to support change: tomorrow at 9A.M. city hall, next Thursday the march to preserve housing sponsored by FUREE and two protests against real estate and others in the next two Wednesday's, one in Brooklyn and one in Queens. Plus tonight, planning to go to the meeting, or forum, or discussion about racism in Park Slope. My brain feels a sense of furious input. All of a sudden, complete focusing on these issues---how will it all play out? How much time will I have for other things..? Anybody's guess. Last night awoke and all I could think of was Focus, Focus, Focus. Anyway, that is how it is at this moment (Whew! think I needed to get this off my chest!)
The meeting was well attended, lots of issues were discussed---people there seemed very idealistic.
Afterwards, went to the Greek diner on 23rd and 7th and stuffed myself with coffee and a large cheese danish (those things are volatile!) while watching the Yankee game. (Thank god you can watch it there) . Came home after that---but have a tremendous food hangover this morning---totally stuffed.
Anything else to add? Not much, have to see how all this plays out---subbing on Friday, looking forward to that......
The meeting was well attended, lots of issues were discussed---people there seemed very idealistic.
Afterwards, went to the Greek diner on 23rd and 7th and stuffed myself with coffee and a large cheese danish (those things are volatile!) while watching the Yankee game. (Thank god you can watch it there) . Came home after that---but have a tremendous food hangover this morning---totally stuffed.
Anything else to add? Not much, have to see how all this plays out---subbing on Friday, looking forward to that......
Tuesday, September 13, 2016
just rsvp'd....
for a discussion on racism to be held tomorrow night at a synagogue in Park Slope. Sponsored by the Council Person from that area. I of course, don't live in Park Slope (slept over a few times there in the seventies) but I assume I can come anyway. Will I be turned away if I reveal I am from the upper west? I doubt it, but if so, can always get in on a trivia game at a bar in Williamsburg. But I hope to participate.
Yesterday, turned out to be a very odd day and evening. By 6:30 felt tired, and so made no attempt to go to see anything, yet by 7:30 revived. Where to go, how much stamina left for the evening? Checked out movies around Lincoln Center, some possibilities, but not too excited. Saw a bus going east on 65 street. Why not take it across town and visit the world of the upper east side, a world I very rarely visit. So I did--got off at 5th and 66th street. Immediately walked east. Before Madison, saw some small apartment houses with mail boxes. Thought to myself: "In 65, or 66, you could have gotten a very cheap apartment there, and under certain logic, could still be living there to this day, depending on the history of the building. Amazing concept! Yet still a possibility. Rents even in that area in the mid to late sixties were accessible to young people (this would end soon after) and the rent control system meant that the low rentals would remain in place. Strange vision, yet it remains in my mind.
Continued east to first---wandered down first to 72nd street. First avenue all high rises and luxury in that area now. As I walked east, still wondered at the "tenements" that still remain on the side streets. Again, people my age probably moved in around the late sixties or seventies and have still remained there as rent stabilized tenants. Interesting contrast on the whole upper east side from 59th to 96th between the luxury and the tenements that sometimes sit side by side. Who lives there now? Could not get a bead on that from the trip last night. Anyway, hopped a first avenue bus at 72nd street to about 83rd. Made my way west, again checking out the architecture on the side streets until I hit the Barnes and Noble on 86 street and Lexington. Remained there for about an hour, browsing until the store closed. Saw some books I would really like to read, but since money is a bit tight now, refrained from buying them (would have to have used my credit card---want to keep that low for now)
Last part of trip: Lexington from 86th street to 79nth. Street fairly quiet---not a great deal of foot traffic- when I returned to the upper west around 79nth and walked home to 76th, could feel the contrast between the upper west and the upper east. Broadway not too crowded either, but a very different energy.
Today, not much happening until BAN meeting at 6:30, Will try to occupy myself fruitfully until then---afterwards, depending on how much energy that I have left, will determine where to go.
That's all for now....
Yesterday, turned out to be a very odd day and evening. By 6:30 felt tired, and so made no attempt to go to see anything, yet by 7:30 revived. Where to go, how much stamina left for the evening? Checked out movies around Lincoln Center, some possibilities, but not too excited. Saw a bus going east on 65 street. Why not take it across town and visit the world of the upper east side, a world I very rarely visit. So I did--got off at 5th and 66th street. Immediately walked east. Before Madison, saw some small apartment houses with mail boxes. Thought to myself: "In 65, or 66, you could have gotten a very cheap apartment there, and under certain logic, could still be living there to this day, depending on the history of the building. Amazing concept! Yet still a possibility. Rents even in that area in the mid to late sixties were accessible to young people (this would end soon after) and the rent control system meant that the low rentals would remain in place. Strange vision, yet it remains in my mind.
Continued east to first---wandered down first to 72nd street. First avenue all high rises and luxury in that area now. As I walked east, still wondered at the "tenements" that still remain on the side streets. Again, people my age probably moved in around the late sixties or seventies and have still remained there as rent stabilized tenants. Interesting contrast on the whole upper east side from 59th to 96th between the luxury and the tenements that sometimes sit side by side. Who lives there now? Could not get a bead on that from the trip last night. Anyway, hopped a first avenue bus at 72nd street to about 83rd. Made my way west, again checking out the architecture on the side streets until I hit the Barnes and Noble on 86 street and Lexington. Remained there for about an hour, browsing until the store closed. Saw some books I would really like to read, but since money is a bit tight now, refrained from buying them (would have to have used my credit card---want to keep that low for now)
Last part of trip: Lexington from 86th street to 79nth. Street fairly quiet---not a great deal of foot traffic- when I returned to the upper west around 79nth and walked home to 76th, could feel the contrast between the upper west and the upper east. Broadway not too crowded either, but a very different energy.
Today, not much happening until BAN meeting at 6:30, Will try to occupy myself fruitfully until then---afterwards, depending on how much energy that I have left, will determine where to go.
That's all for now....
Monday, September 12, 2016
Whew! Just completed...
my unemployment application for this year---always kind of annoying, but at least it is done. Should be getting my monetary declaration soon---I expect about $125 per week, a little less than last year.
Today is my birthday. Nice feeling---kind of straightforward, positive vision of life. Yesterday's voyage around Brooklyn probably helped---will discuss later.
Weekend: Saturday evening---as planned, saw the Charles Burnett movie The Glass Shield, which centers on a black police recruit in LA being assigned to an all white sherriff's office. A tough, brutal and amazing film, great performances by everyone---certainly of the four films that I saw last week, this has to be the strongest and best defined by far. Intense---never lets up, shows the two worlds, black and white. Burnett is a master film maker--he spoke afterwards in a q and a---a very unassuming man---told of a police precinct in LA in the sixties and seventies where black prisoners who were held were routinely abused and sometimes killed. Frightening! I left feeling very tired---movie was an intense nightmare, but I had to see it---it is etched into my consciousness. Had pizza afterwards---thought about hanging out, but fatigue was strong, so I returned to the apartment. Fell asleep early, and then of course, awoke about 12 or 1, feeling very strong but no where to go. This is the problem that arises when I get to sleep early--usually wake up in the middle of the night and find myself unable to return to sleep, with only my thoughts (and the radio, if I want) to dialogue with. I think that is why it is important to stay out later---I will sleep better..
Sunday: up early, read the news---did not want to see another movie (definitely not!) and simply took to my old "Sunday football travels" as yesterday was Football's first Sunday. First South fourth for free pizza, and some conversation, then Cobra, which was okay, then explored the new "Starr Bar" the bar that is part of the activist space on Saint Nicholas called Mayday. Beautifully furnished bar right across the street from the Bushwick Starr---no coffee as yet---surprised me, but as I was the only one there, had a nice conversation with bartender named Tara--she is a poet, so we had a lot of literature to talk about. Enjoyed the visit---then walked over to the salad place on the corner of Irving and Starr and had a nice salad---people who made it very nice there. Time to return to South fourth---walked to Wilson, and waited for Brooklyn 60 bus, expected a ten minute wait, it turned into about 40, finally walked to DeKalb (now pretty tired) and took that bus (it comes often, than God) to Broadway, then the J at Kosciosko to Marcy. 5 stops, a really short trip (about 7 minutes). Debated whether I should stop at South Fourth, but did, found my friend film maker Todd there, talked to him for quite a while---he has a sister who just graduated from Hopkins who has been struggling with cancer for the past year. Now she is cancer free. Tremendous compassion from me. A good talk---nice to consider him a friend. Only at South Fourth! Finally it was time to return home---a long journey in and around Brooklyn, but one where I found myself.
Today, after this: not sure, might go to Dixon Place to Little Theater---there work in progress evening--but maybe not. Want to keep it open for a while, Improvisation? We will see
Today is my birthday. Nice feeling---kind of straightforward, positive vision of life. Yesterday's voyage around Brooklyn probably helped---will discuss later.
Weekend: Saturday evening---as planned, saw the Charles Burnett movie The Glass Shield, which centers on a black police recruit in LA being assigned to an all white sherriff's office. A tough, brutal and amazing film, great performances by everyone---certainly of the four films that I saw last week, this has to be the strongest and best defined by far. Intense---never lets up, shows the two worlds, black and white. Burnett is a master film maker--he spoke afterwards in a q and a---a very unassuming man---told of a police precinct in LA in the sixties and seventies where black prisoners who were held were routinely abused and sometimes killed. Frightening! I left feeling very tired---movie was an intense nightmare, but I had to see it---it is etched into my consciousness. Had pizza afterwards---thought about hanging out, but fatigue was strong, so I returned to the apartment. Fell asleep early, and then of course, awoke about 12 or 1, feeling very strong but no where to go. This is the problem that arises when I get to sleep early--usually wake up in the middle of the night and find myself unable to return to sleep, with only my thoughts (and the radio, if I want) to dialogue with. I think that is why it is important to stay out later---I will sleep better..
Sunday: up early, read the news---did not want to see another movie (definitely not!) and simply took to my old "Sunday football travels" as yesterday was Football's first Sunday. First South fourth for free pizza, and some conversation, then Cobra, which was okay, then explored the new "Starr Bar" the bar that is part of the activist space on Saint Nicholas called Mayday. Beautifully furnished bar right across the street from the Bushwick Starr---no coffee as yet---surprised me, but as I was the only one there, had a nice conversation with bartender named Tara--she is a poet, so we had a lot of literature to talk about. Enjoyed the visit---then walked over to the salad place on the corner of Irving and Starr and had a nice salad---people who made it very nice there. Time to return to South fourth---walked to Wilson, and waited for Brooklyn 60 bus, expected a ten minute wait, it turned into about 40, finally walked to DeKalb (now pretty tired) and took that bus (it comes often, than God) to Broadway, then the J at Kosciosko to Marcy. 5 stops, a really short trip (about 7 minutes). Debated whether I should stop at South Fourth, but did, found my friend film maker Todd there, talked to him for quite a while---he has a sister who just graduated from Hopkins who has been struggling with cancer for the past year. Now she is cancer free. Tremendous compassion from me. A good talk---nice to consider him a friend. Only at South Fourth! Finally it was time to return home---a long journey in and around Brooklyn, but one where I found myself.
Today, after this: not sure, might go to Dixon Place to Little Theater---there work in progress evening--but maybe not. Want to keep it open for a while, Improvisation? We will see
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