and all of a...

sudden, a torrent of choices--unbelievable! Don't know where to look first, but does it matter?
Yesterday, Philip Roth movie---not great, a little overstated, but brought up some very interesting points about writing---the allowing of oneself to create--could really relate to that. Afterwards, did not get into Labyrinth, so picked up laundry and returned to the apartment. Then seized by tiredness
(not fatigue) spent the rest of the evening, very restless, two walks, one as far as 84th street and Amsterdam, I would say that atleast seven of the ten bars I passed were pretty crowded, still could have gone in if I had wanted to, find that beer is putting pressure on my stomach---anyway, found the Voice, returned to apartment, had trouble sleeping, much putting things together, then  began today, full of a frenetic vision of what must be done. Will go to Seminar tonight, hope I am not too tired to
do something when it is over, hope it is viable, really don't have much desire to go, hope I will not be
"preached" to. Report to follow......

so its....

Freedom, for the next two weeks---let's explode the structure of our day---not doing so well the first day, nevertheless, things are different---can't write about weekend, all I can say is I am proud of my
committment to FUREE, and please with the tutoring yesterday, I really think Christina and her mom are very nice--looking forward to returning to the Bronx, hopefully in better weather--maybe taking some long walks around the area. One thing is certain, at moments still feel rapped in memories of the Bronx as it once was---the Jewish world that I inhabited as a child, and that I can still feel today.
Spent a nice afternoon in Bushwick and Williamsburg following the return to Manhattan, will probably play Trivia tonight with the group at Boulevard---even if the weather is bad.

Friday, picked up....

check...took it to the bank...went to Brooklyn Heights to return a  library book---did not like the feeling of the Heights this afternoon...cluttered and bleak. What is interesting is that there seems to be many older people who look poor or confused wondering around the blocks. They are "the others" those who came to
the Heights when it was still reasonable, or even a little bohemian and were able to stay. Rent stabilized..?
SCRIE.....? They certainly make an odd contrast to the young mothers and Jamaican nannys who are moving around the area. Returned to library....had sacher at a pastry place near 59street, kind of upscale, a little off putting, probably will not visit there again.
Tonight: time to see the play that Zach is in. Should be interesting. The playwright is an old friend of Fred, and old friend of mine. Wonder if Fred has seen the play?
Sunday, tutoring in the Bronx---near Southern Boulevard---avoid that elevator at all costs, should be interesting. Tomorrow, day of planning with FUREE, enjoyed the meeting last night, pleased with my awareness...let's see what happens....

so now I...

have to figure out if it is possible for me to go to the celebration in Oakland in eary May. Do I want to?
Not sure, though it would be nice to interact with my cousins---haven't seen most of them in a long while.
Meanwhile, no heat this morning, and now work this morning...tonight meeting at FUREE, who knows what
that will bring. Just spent an hour in library, so a few books I wanted to take out, but did not, feel almost
obligated to complete Pride and Prejudice before I go on to anything else, probably can do that by tomorrow...really terribly cold today, would like to see Philip Roth picture, but time may be difficult--probably will not be able to go to South Fourth after meeting today...but where...watch basketball...?
Possibly...?

later that evening......

went through money today like crazy---now I discover that there are family celebrations in Oakland on May 1. Would love to go, but not sure if I can make it. Just when I thought there would be no distractions come many. So where am I in all this....?

four days of work....

first day off, nearing the end of the winter term now, no idea if I will work the next two days---but feel comfortable that I have earned enough to indulge myself a little. How....? Plenty to do, may see a movie tonight, probably "No", and then go to Williamsburg to hang out---check in on Layla at East River---see what is happening there, often "hanging out" is more interesting than a movie. Yesterday, after Sibyl's project
went to a bar in a strange place.......28th between Madison and Park. Kind of a cold dive bar, still got a chance to watch a very clear tv, and eat popcorn---neighborhood still has strong feel of a no man's land, but must be several new "luxury" apartments in the area. Loudmouths came in as I was going. Also looked at Spanish Harlem on google maps, Madison between 116th street and 120th,; is it possible...? Have to check it out further. Will continue later or tomorrow.....

taking care

did not work today---extreme restlessness, even if rest was needed. Next confirmed job on thursday, which means that tomorrow is possible, but not confirmed. A reminder city boy: If you do not work
tomorrow, let's work on structure--don't get too restless, try to understand that it is important to cool down. Understood...?
Okay, now tonight since it is pleasant out, have decided to head down to South Fourth, maybe "chill'
watching the free movie---talk to people etc. Sounds like a good idea. Movie today, finally saw one of
film forum's 1933 series Sailors Delight---not great, had an abrasive tone that built to an interesting cli-
max, can see that it was much closer to risqué then later films, after the code, nevertheless, did not want to see the second feature, had to get out in the world.