wednesday.....

hoped that I would be called to work at Friends, today, wasn't.....took a lot of calls from DOE, actually from some good schools, for today---yet I could not accept any---was nervous about combining a new situation with tutoring inthe evening, and wanted to see if there was any work at Friends, but...so the day is free--woke up at 1A.M., was very restless, that is another reason for not accepting work---thought Iwould be too tired, but at this moment, I feel pretty full of life, maybe I just needed another break---still, would like to solve this problem----if I need to take a job in a city school because of a break at Friends, shouldn't be a heavy crisis...well, this has a few weeks to be resolved.....
Roth's book, really evokes feelings in me---covers a lot of ground, deeply---my own vision of life---where does it come in--writing about being "outside" of the life course (for want of a better word) that is no security for myself in the form of a pension---while so many others......well, that is what they wanted...and you cityboy.....? wouldn't you like a little security?....perhaps security is more inside...still.....
on other topics, had a really nice talk with cousin Carol yesterday....looking forward to Jesse's botmitzvah Saturday....stay tuned..........

Tuesday....

Yesterday, another good day at Friends, today almost worked there, can't be sure about rest of the week----reading Exit Ghost by Roth, found it, ironically enough, at a library on Washington Avenue in Clinton Hill, it was just sitting there in "fiction"; really impressed with its invention, insight, sense of plot--evocative of a lot of old memories that I am thinking about and experiencing, the book itself may be about memory---not sure about the rest of the day, supposed to be snowing heaily this afternoon, does this mean I stay home---should pick up some records here, Film Forum has The Group, but somehow, the closer I get to it, the less appetizing it appears---lincoln center has Derzu Urzala---probably perfect on that screen--but still not sure, ofcourse, one could get into any play this evening---but.....yesterday went to Heights Cafe, after Friends basketball game at Packer, didn't see anyone I knew, and had a decidedly ovepriced salad---a "mistake", maybe, but wanted to do it...that is all now....

saturday...

so we did tutor Wednesday evening, a really good session with Lena,not an easy student to work with, but, you brought it off, Thursday and Friday, lots of classes at Friends, lots of good feelings, but still no work for next week---then got the call this morning----Brandon has a home teacher, which means "probably" much less work for me with him---put some pressure on me financially, although not momentarily---plenty of time to correct, if I really want to---might have to "slum" a little in the public schools--but no tutoring on Sunday opens a few things up, there are good good possibilities at Barbes and at Stain tomorrow evening, which I could not do with the tutoring, ofcourse, it is supposed to be freezing tomorrow, which definitely enters into the situtation---what about some movies---remember them?.... Well, it is all about NY with its infinite possibilities, right? And soon wewill be at South Fourth...........

back at friends.....

Quiet day today...all of a sudden hit by "tired" bug--wonder if I have to tutor this evening---yesterday, continue to value my good fortune by the friends I am making at South Fourth....really nice and responsive people---sometimes I don't realize that by not taking work, I make it possible to have a fuller time in the evening---for the five days that I worked last week, I did practically nothing in the evenings-----interesting how I sometimes have very little desire for contact---willing to wait for next moment, or for the next day---well, two days of lots of work tomorrow and Friday...then we will see........

did not work....

that's the lead, that is the fact---and even though there is much work for me towards the end of the week, today is one of those "everything is going wrong days"---hey, cityboy, maybe you are exaggerating a bit. After all, the day has not been without its interesting moments. True, the lack of structure is frustrating, and I think that by now, basically you miss the kids when you aren't there, but let's look at what we HAVE done--laundry; an e-mail letter to Governor Spitzer---a five dollar gift to a high school classmate and a memory of Lunt and Fontanne in the Visit (1958) That is not really so bad, frustrated, I know by not hearing the WSS interviews, but tonight the party for Seven Devils, which should mean some fun (we hope) interaction.
Hummus time 12:00, I walk on Broadway past 114 Street, who do I see but high school classmate Geoffrey Heyworth--he speaks to me on the phone from time to time: I don't have to call to him, but out of compassion I do, I see him from the back, call out "Geoffrey!" he turns around---I see his face for the first time, it looks like a hideous, inflated mask of his normal ageing face--do not expect much coherency, but when I ask him how he is, he tells me "awful" and asks me for $10.00---just when I am complimenting myself on saving money---but I feel compassionate---after all, Goeffrey is one of the "briliant" boys of Bx. Science class of 60, who burnt out after his four years at Harvard, and has wandered the streets of Broadway 110-116 ever since (granted he is a good sculptor, as well)---so I reach in my wallet and give him $5.00.
No regret at all, after all, how bad can you feel giving charity to a classmate who constantly looked down on you when you both were seniors. (We got reaquainted about 25 years later, and since then he has always acknowledged me)...well, got that out.....now, party to follow......

yesterday and.....

Thankfully, my instinct turned out to be good---Walkiure sounded dull, dull, dull first act, atleast Maazel's conducting....second Act ,heard most, got good insight into Fricka's scenee, didn't realize how much singing and time were involved...anyway, left right before Act II ended, got to South fourth, pleasantly surprised at how much I enjoyed myself for a few hours---playing with three and a half year old Finn, kind of fun......today just tutored, amazing how quiet the city seems, subways and busses are much less full---anyway, will then head up soon to Alvin's party---tomorrow still no work, but the last three days will be very busy..

Saturday.....

A few feet away from me...at Licoln Center Library---the met is doing Die Walkiure---box office looked kind of empty---still decided to listen to it, or atleast most of the first two acts, on the radioi at home----why? Strange feeling of too much closeness to the true material-----need the distance---but remember, this is where you met Pat a little over 40 (yes 40!) years ago---afraid to recreate...? Had my fifth day at Friends Friday, exhausting, but a lot of fun, or whatever...really feel close to the kids...wonder if it is necessary to do any subbing at other schoools....anyway, no work for Monday or Tuesday, is that to the good? Do I need a few days to regain my strength? Ratner wins another court case---disturbing--so much blatant aggrandizing, how can one feel good about the city...any yet...what happens after the opera...who knows.....Alvin's party is tomorrow.........