a warm morning in December....

 Relief at last! After three days of two tutoring sessions, I only have  only one today. Somehow the tension I may have felt in the last three mornings---planning for two---- has dissipated. Feeling very loose---a kind of "empty" feeling, as if my life, or at least my imaginaitve life, has opened up. Close now, to the Christmas vacations, I expect that there will be some falling off of the tutoring in the next two weeksl will that give me time to....? Not sure, still feeling some effects of the chemo pills; that will obviously effect my activity during those weeks.. Oh, to wake up, and take the L out to Brookyn! Stop off at Cobra Club for some early morning coffee, or perhaps read for a long while in the Nook, a new and large coffee and snack place about a block away. Or maybe a trip to the Center for Fiction---would love to just go there, grab some coffee and read into infinity. One defect about living on the upper west side. There are very few places outside the apartment where one can go and read. The lobby of a nearby hotel is adequate, and the staff is fond of me, but I still feel restless there. Well, it is a tradeoff, the street that I live in is very quiet---important in light of my medical situation at this moment. 

After the long week of tutoring, which ended on Saturday, I was able to go on Sunday to the Friends matinee production of The Trial, but not the last night at Jack---much too fatigued. How was it...? A little long winded (about an hour and 45 without an intermission) but it was good to see so many students I had worked with on the stage.  Credit to Steve, the director for getting those 25 students onto the stage---actually that is what he is supposed to do--and they moved through the action very easily. I made it through with good cooperation from my "appendices" and went over to the upscale luncheonette a few blocks away. There I  sat contentedly with a muffin and coffee, while I watched one or two football games on their TVs. Really have not watched football live much this season--get most of my info from the computer reconstruction, which pushes the imagination in a very different direction. Will this continue...? Still not ready to hit a bar and hang out there on Sunday afternoon--Pine Box Rock Shop, off the Morgan Avenue L stop would be ideal, but who knows if I can really end up there. For me now, it is all moment to moment.

And there you have it---the new novel by Gary Shteyngart that I amazingly enough, was able to take  out from the library, sits on my floor---somehow I can't push myself to get into it. Well, maybe in a few days. I returned to the final two paragraphs of Hema and Kaushik by Jhumpa Lahiri this morning---a world that "defines" me? Possibly. or atleast some part. So life continues...