not the greatest day.....

scheduled ct scan did not come off. I knew this would happen. When I got to the hospital, the woman in charge showed me the order for the ct scan. It was from June, from another doctor who is treating me, but not from the one who wanted this ct. Could not do anything---they were waiting for me---all set up---then out into the air with nothing. Tomorrow morning I will go to the Center where my blood oncologist is, and arrange for another appointment for the scan. Not really a problem re my treatment, I suppose it can wait a few days, but I really wanted to go to the next step. All morning I psychologically prepared for this trip. Now, got to wait to tomorrow morning, and go there---an extra trip, but must do it.

Not much to report for the rest of the day. Decided not to try to see some movies at the film festival. Am reading an autobiography called Spotless. It is by Sherman Yellen, a successful screen writer who also wrote some books for some Broadway musicals. Another Jewish kid raised in the thirties by parents who came from the horrors of the lower east side poor Jewish community.Like Sherwin Nuland's autobiography, actually very similar, this is an attempt by the writer to come to terms with the srrange, harsh vision of their parents life, and how both the love and the inconsistencies in that love shaped the child. Nuland's father was unsophistocated, only really spoke yiddish and was a poor breadwinner. Yellen's father was a successful and agressive business man. Yet both were given to explosive rages without warning  which would disappear suddenly as life continued. Yes, I am fascinated by these stories, as the protagonist tries to explain life with these people, and also the recreation of the thirties and forties in their lives. Haunted, perhaps, but my parents were for the most part, far more stable and attentive and giving---yet there were moments when those qualities seemed to disapppear. So I am "lost in the fun house" as I try to figure it out.

Two tutoring sessions yesterday---very fulfilling---at this point don't see why I can't add some more students. Of course, there is my medical future to consider, but until I get my scan....