a raw feeling...

overtook me at around 9. This is Friends withdrawal---a sense of emptiness,  of not knowing what to do with my time, and above all, a sense of "why?" Maybe simply because all the teachers are there and no subs are needed--it may be that simple. But.....how do I solve this problem. I have work there Monday, and the Monday after that---that is all---no requests in advance by teachers going away to conferences etc. Well, things can change---also, the chaperoning that was called off for today may be on for next Friday (and possibly Saturday) . One session today at 3 30---that keeps me in Manhattan----still, would like to feel a little more at ease about all this. Well, let's see what happens.
  Made a reservation for a work in progress that my friend Michael and Abby are doing tomorrow evening at one of the theaters at NYU.  It is in conjunction with the students there--should be interesting and will be nice to see (and possibly "hang out" ) with the two of them. Some other friends from my "indie theater" world may be there as well. Interesting, how they all know each other. Has helped me move from one theater event to another. Anyway, that is tomorrow evening.
  And what about this evening? Should make every effort to see Lynn Nottage's play at the Signature Theater. They say they are sold out, but there should be some tickets left as the time approaches 7:30. Must give it  try---no worries if I don't get in---lots of other options.
 Last night---finally made a "move" in the evening. Went to JG Melon's, a bar that I could walk to on Amsterdam and 83rd Street. Had a beer and watched the last quarter of a Thunder-76ers basketball game--a close game that the sixers one. Both teams have almost identical records---the bar was pretty empty so I grabbed a seat by the tv and watched---no conversation. A nice vibe, if at this point, kind of impersonal---I definitely would go back there again. One woman was totally drunk---finally left---feel for that kind of emptiness. Thinking about it, I remembered that "yes', I enjoy sitting in a bar, observing people---checking out the atmosphere. I like the "openness" of it. Returned to the apartment feeling solid---this was a good move for me. Melons used to be on 76th street and Amsterdam, for many years in the eighties, it was my "go to" place. Well, that was then, this is now.
  That is what happening--hopefully I can be a little more "chill" as the day progresses. We will see.