sleep! Somehow around 4 I was hit with a "tiredness" bug. Not much to do after one session but return to the apartment and try to sleep it off---basically successful. So why does this happen? Probably because you are up by 5:30 and the most active hours of your day is between then and around 11. Makes sense, so somewhere sleep has to take hold. It kind of spoils any choice of action in the evening, though, although the cold also has a lot to do with it. But I wake up at 3 A.M., full of energy.
Wonder how this will play out tonight, when after one session, I d want to go to an action in Flatbush, about an hour ride on the subway. This is important to me. After that it would be nice to check out a bar around that area, or near BAM. Will I do it? Hard to say---have to wait till about 5:30 to see what my energy level is. I certainly don't want a repeat of yesterday---I feel stifled when I have to be home early in the evening---or when I finally regain some energy but it is too late to actually do anything. Well, let it happen.
I have a appointment with the social worker at Ryan Health this afternoon, to discuss my resistance to the colonoscopy that I should be getting. Why? Feel full of conflicts---there is definitely reason to want to have the problem cleared up and explained, which would be good for me. Yet I somehow see the procedure as a kind of "violation". Is it simply because I don't know the doctor who would be performing the procedure---do I need a human face behind it? Will a discussion with this social worker change anything. Should it? Lots of questions.
Just found out that I will be chaperoning the debate team to Stuyvesant this Friday. All good, yet with no work this week, I am very restless. Again a contradiction---can only even think about doing something in the evening if I am not hired by Friends, yet I want to be hired. Work it out.
That is all I can put down now---if not hired tomorrow should explain all....
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