can it get....

much worse? Why, What happened. Well, I just found out that tomorrow's debate team voyage to Stuyvesant has been called off-so possibly no work at Friends at all this week. I have one next week, but a heavy snow is possibly scheduled for that day so......Is it possible that I will really have to check out the possibility of working in other schools? Sounds impossible, but the way things are going.....
  Of course it is always possible that I am over reacting--that the work will return soon (last week, remember, I worked all four days). But not very much in advance...well, we will see.
  The visit to the social worker was productive. No real discussion of feelings, but she did give me some relaxation exercises to take the week of the procedure---and assured me it was a simple one. Also, no charge for the visit. Possibly should try to find some real therapy to help me "untangle" my feelings about the colonoscopy---if I have the time I might explore that. If I were to go into therapy again, would see myself as the "leader"---choosing the areas that I would like to discuss. Very different from when I was younger.
  Last night was no different from the night before---except that I did make a longer trip outside the apartment. Still very tired after the one session---came home, slept a little, then decided to chance the outside. Could not travel, yet tried to catch a northbound 104 to go to about 100th street. Saw the bus at an earlier station---knew that I would have to run to catch it, and as I crossed 77th street and Broadway, running full steam, I tripped on a crack and fell hard. But only hurt left hand and knee a little. Still, not a good omen for the rest of the evening. Ended up having a large smoothy at the gym on 92nd and Broadway---very good, but then simply returned home. Not really up for a beer---stomach did not want it, so no bar activity.
   Today is a little different---after 6 I will be free. Still trying to explore my options (assuming that I won't be tired); also the money issue is important. Would like to visit the bar in Bed Stuy where a friend of mine works, but it is equidistant between the G and the C, and on a cold night.....
 Well, let it be, will report tomorrow.

what did happen last night...

sleep! Somehow around 4 I was hit with a "tiredness" bug. Not much to do after one session but return to the apartment and try to sleep it off---basically successful. So why does this happen? Probably because you are up by 5:30 and the most active hours of your day is between then and around 11. Makes sense, so somewhere sleep has to take hold. It kind of spoils any choice of action in the evening, though, although the cold also has a lot to do with it. But I wake up at 3 A.M., full of energy.
 Wonder how this will play out tonight, when after one session, I d want to go to an action in Flatbush, about an hour ride on the subway. This is important to me. After that it would be nice to check out a bar around that area, or near BAM. Will I do it? Hard to say---have to wait till about 5:30 to see what my energy level is. I certainly don't want a repeat of yesterday---I feel stifled when I have to be home early in the evening---or when I finally regain some energy but it is too late to actually do anything. Well, let it happen.
  I have a  appointment with the social worker at Ryan Health this afternoon, to discuss my resistance to the colonoscopy that I should be getting. Why? Feel full of conflicts---there is definitely reason to want to have the problem cleared up and explained, which would be good for me. Yet I somehow see the procedure as a kind of "violation". Is it simply because I don't know the doctor who would be performing the procedure---do I need a human face behind it?  Will a discussion with this social worker change anything. Should it?  Lots of questions.
Just found out that I will be chaperoning the debate team to Stuyvesant this Friday. All good, yet with no work this week, I am very restless. Again a contradiction---can only even think about doing something in the evening if I am not hired by Friends, yet I want to be hired. Work it out.
  That is all I can put down now---if not hired tomorrow should explain all....

Tuesday morning and it seems...

like cityboy has been everywhere and done everything. First, after normal coffee at the nearby hotel with barista Neama, went to the polls to vote for Public Advocate. Voted for Kim, whose vision I think is closest to mine. Polling place was pretty empty, a far cry from last November and the Governor's election. Finished that and then went over to the Ryan Center, my health clinic. Confirmed the appointment with the social worker for tomorrow--I am supposed to discuss with her my problem with committing to a colonoscopy. However, when I also asked the appointment person for an appointment with the doctor who will supervise the colonoscopy, I found out that he was already mostly booked until May. What to do? Find another doctor at a different clinic, still covered by my Medicare program. Wait it Out? Feeling much better today, no abdominal pain, same as yesterday--not clear what my next move is---at least I know it won't interfere with Friends availability. Can I wait? At this point I feel pretty relaxed about waiting. However the urgent care doctor did request a stool sample, and that should be analyzed by the end of the week. Let's see how that turns out.
 Yesterday, did attend BAN meeting, glad I did, very enjoyable as we made plans for a small benefit. Also, there my be an action tomorrow, outside an apartment house where a landlord is denying a long time (35 years) tenant a stove. If I don't get called to work at Friends, can go.
 Nothing really much else to report--just noticed that the Times gave a great review to a play at the third theater at Lincoln Center. Will the review sell it out? We will see.
 Free tonight---that could mean anything---will make plans, after assessing my tiredness factor at around 6. Ideally would like to see something, but you know how that turns out.Tune in tomorrow for report.

he's back!

after two unplanned days where he subbed, and two planned, and a very long Saturday. Lots of reports, where to begin.
Well, yesterday, after a little "trauma" in the morning (had to visit an urgent care center---came out all right) went to see Between the Lines, the restoration of the movie made in 77 about the young staff members of an indy newspaper in Boston. A beautiful movie, I saw it twice in 77, when it came out to luke warm reviews. Liked it very much then, but reconsidering it yesterday, I realize it is truly a beautiful movie. John Heard, the late John Heard, gives a really remarkable performance as Harry Lucas, the hard driving reporter whose life seems to be changing at the time of the movie. He has great chemistry with Lindsay Crouse, who plays his sometime girl friend. The moment when she decides to jump into bed with him: Priceless! Full of life. Really glad I talked myself into going; just wish that I could tell more people whom I know to go to see it.
Another movie from the week: Part 1 of the Russian adaptation of War and Peace. Also very unique: grand, stately---it allowed me to use all the knowledge of the novel  that I gained from Natasha and Pierre as the characters were introduced. Felt very completed after seeing it---not in terrible need to watch the rest---I can do it any time. Still, in terms of focus and cinematography---a great movie.
  Saturday night previously---went to see Bonnie's Last Flight, a charming comedy by my friend
Eliza really well done---great comic acting all around. The play is a little slight, but, I must admit, the laughs come "fast and furiously". Actually that is the last play that I have seen---nine days ago, quite a long stretch of not seeing a play for cityboy.
 In addition, a lot of work. A session (two on Tuesday) after the time at Friends, and three sessions on Saturday. Not much to do in the evenings but get home and collapse. That is why getting out yesterday was so important to me. After the movie, went to La Flaca and watched some of the Knick game and some of the Academy Awards. Not the greatest, but kept me busy.
 And now the stomach problems. They continue---Saturday evening it seemed like they were neverending--like the digestive tract between my mouth and my anal muscles had simply disappeared. That is why I went to the urgent care center Sunday morning---I really believed there was something beyond just discomfort. Turned out it was just another discussion about the need for me to take a colonoscopy (I am wrestling with it) but they ask me to give them a bowel sample, which I did. Did not feel great in the stomach most of yesterday, but today I woke up feeling very strong---no stomach discomfort at all---so we will see if it continues into the rest of the day. Still the same problem with the bowels though, and that should be looked at. Will go to the Ryan center later today; maybe make an appointment with the internist who could set up the procedure.
 Difficult choice today---a Friends basketball game at Fieldston or the BAN meeting. Could do both, but it is a very cold day, and Fieldston is located a good walk from the nearest bus stop. We will see.
 Anyway, will report tomorrow.

and that is exactly what I did....

after some rest in the afternoon, (much needed) I headed off for Grace Church's new gymnasium, very near the Public, and watched the game between Friends and Dwight. Very glad I did---when I came into the gym, I was greeted with much enthusiasm by both the high school group and the eighth grade group. Very surprised---very gratified. Friends lost the game--Dwight had a very tough team and got some good breaks in the first half---but I had a nice talk with Tyler, a Friends senior and Olivier, a Friends junior after the game. Left feeling very good, very positive about my position as a member of the Friends community. Ironically enough this comes at a time when the work has diminished---at least for now.Two days scheduled for next week--more to come? We will see.
  From the gym it was an easy walk to Burp Castle where my friend Erin was working. Nice to drop in on her--she seemed happy to see me, and while she was bar tending we had a nice discussion about what was happening to both of us. Headed home feeling very upbeat, and it is no accident that my sleep pattern was much calmer than the previous nights.
  So here I am, with as much free time as I need between now and Tuesday. Tonight wlll see Bonnie's Last Flight at NYTW next door---Eliza, the playwright is a friend of mine---so is Grieg, one of the actors in it, and I will probably run into some other "downtown theater" friends. Maybe some beers afterwards. Not sure about the rest of the day leading up to my voyage to the East Village where the play is. Do I want to see the first part of War and Peace at the Bunin---supposedly an important movie that will fill up some afternoon time perfectly---but do I want to process it What are the alternatives---it is a little too cold for a walk through Brooklyn---maybe just some reading---oh well, let the process take care of itself.
Last post until Tuesday (or later) unless I use the library on 42nd street tomorrow morning--it is opened---on my way to Cobra in Bushwick. And speaking of Cobra, will have to use alternative transportation since the L is down. I usually take the J or M to Flushing Avenue and walk the rest of the way---a nice walk through a heavily gentrified area. So that is a possibility. But will it happen? We shall see.

picked up my check...

this morning---had a craving for tunafish on a bagel. Tried the new bagel place on 23rd between 3rd and 2nd---right near the library. Was about to order---could not see a price sign, but then asked one of the bagel makers what the tuna fish would cost. He said (in a very normal tone) 9.50. I walked out--who are they kidding---and that did not count the added tax which would have brought the price to around $10.45. Where will this end---will we be eating out of cans soon.?  Ultimately I went to the diner on 23rd and 2nd,  a very reliable place. There, a tuna sandwich and a coffee cost me $10.50 (I had hoped for less) That and my generous tip of $1.50 brought the fee to $12.00, but at least I could sit and read and have some coffee. But again, where will this end? Amazing how few people are distraught over this. Confront a public advocate runner? Why not? There is a heartlessness to this that is very upsetting.
  Yesterday, after the library, did go to the Museum of the City of NY. Some great pictures of Jackie Robinson---including one of him where you can see the scoreboard of Ebbets Field, and the NL teams that were playing each other on that day. Really brings back memories. A nice exhibit about a few families living and working in China town as well. Payed $.25 for my admission. Not fooled by the inflated prices that are put in a very good place to see, but are "suggested". Yeah. The entitlement of New York Cities not for profits continues.
 In the evening, went to La Flaca for food. Good thing I did. Bobby, my friend the owner, is going through tough times and need a sympathetic ear---which I gave to him. Hope he gets it all together---girl friend problems, business problems--, and remembers that he created La Flaca, and it is a great, welcoming place.
Today, not sure after this---another "structureless" day---War and Peace is playing at the Bunin, should check some of it out, but the big plan is to go to the Friends basketball game at Grace Church this evening---should be over at 9, after that, maybe go down to Burp Castle and see if my friend bartender Erin is there. Have not seen her in a while---should check in with her.
 Will report soon.

a day of freedom...

that is, no work at Friends and no sessions, but at the moment I am feeling a little stranded. What to do? Have some plans, in the afternoon, take the free time and visit the Museum of the City of New York and look closely at the Jackie Robinson exhibit. Should be meaningful.When I started watching baseball in 1951 (what a year to begin!) he was already established, and the Giant Dodger rivalry was in full, intense swing. That was, of course, the year of the playoff and the "shot heard round the world", in other words, the great home run by Bobby Thomson that gave the Giants the victory and took them to the World Series. Yes, quite a beginning year for a neophyte baseball fan. Anyway, the exhibit should bring back memories and refresh my sense of history.
Yesterday, did go to Friends to see the basketball game---a good one it was---Friends pulled out a victory in a tough game, One more game to see, maybe tomorrow around 8, After that, tired but had a nice meal at the new diner-restaurant on 17th and 3rd. I like it because they have two televisions,  so you can sit at the counter and watch sports. The prices are "2019 resasonable" and the ambiance is nice. A nice alternative to a bar if I want a little privacy--staff is friendly. Then headed home, went to sleep fairly early--then woke up around 4, feeling very "chipper", that is the body was extremely relaxed---no discomfort anywhere---still the "bowel" problems continue.
  Am toying with the idea of finding a space to write this summer---sitting by a computer and maybe writing down memories from different times in my life. Kind of a free association like the first paragraph of today's entry. Need to be out of the house to do it. Think about it.
  That is all for now---three day holiday week approaches--will report soon.

what is going on?

Stomach problems continue--bowel movements repetitive---seem to happen all the time---will see my doctor on Monday, and get the results of blood sample--but even if the blood sample is all negative (and I expect it will be) what then? Yes, I know, take the colonoscopy, but could it be something else?  Would love to come up with some kind of answer---let's see what happens.
  Just read talkin broadway press releases. It seems that over a million theater projects are happening in the city in the next two months. Amazing! Are there enough people to see them? Lots of reduced prices being offered, but they are still very high. Seeing Bonnie's Last Flight,by my friend Eliza on Saturday---maybe something else during the weekend, not sure. Then my friend Christina's play is opening at the Bushwick Starr in a few weeks---must see that. And so many other "possibles" It is all a bit overwhelming.
My body is tired today. Had a long day at Friends and then two sessions at two different libraries after that. Can't believe it, but in that intense snow and rain, I hiked from Saint Nicholas and 160th street to Amsterdam and 145th street---because the Amsterdam Avenue bus was slow. Then grabbed the first sandwich I could find at Hamilton's (the coffee place, not the musical) and headed home. Slept most of the time after that.
  One session today, then possibly (I hope) my body will be up to going to a Friends basketball game.
After that...?
 Still have not come to terms with the Hopkins "problem". Was all set to make reservations when private police force on campus came up. My first impulse was to dump the whole plan, then on second thought, felt that I should go down and participate, but I would like to talk to people on campus about the issue as well, maybe even show my support to the student protesters.
 So there is a lot on my mind. How will it play out....? More reports soon.

middle school play

a cut version of Thornton Wilder's the Skin of Our Teeth was performed by the seventh and eighth graders very inventively. My friend Shayna did a great job with the look and the pacing of the play---kids were, on the whole, very alive with it. Glad that I came, afterwards, quite by surprise, ran into Desiree, a graduate from 2009, whom I have not seen in a long while. Good to see her---not a lot of time to talk, but maybe the three of us (she, Shayna, and I) can get together sometime soon. Kind of amazing, I was wondering if I ever would run into her again, and there she was. I will be at Friends tomorrow, and talk to Shayna further.
  Afterwards, went to the Quad and saw a film from 76 entitled, Next Stop Greenwich Village. It is part of a Jeff Goldblum retrospective, even though his part in this is very small. It is a film written and directed by Paul Mazursky and takes place in 1953---the locations and scenes are very truthful---a nice evocation of an all Jewish Brownsville circa 1953, and the west village at that time.Lenny Baker, an actor who died much too young, in 1983, played the young man, Larry Lapinsky, who leaves home in Brooklyn to become an actor in the village. Also good performances from Ellen Greene (really good work!), Chris Walken and Lois Smith. I did not see the movie when it came out---I think the reviews were kind of negative, but it is really a beautiful movie, with a great screenplay that moves easily from scene to scene, and has very well fleshed out characters. I was totally immersed in it last night---really glad I decided to see it.
 The rest of the night was just at home---some fitful sleeping and then off to get my blood taken at the Ryan Health Center in preparation for another visit with my doctor next Monday. Got a lot accomplished. Not sure about this evening---after a session I am free; will I be tired? We will see, will report soon.

lots of action...

since last post--where to begin. First, the "difficult" news. Hopkins wants to have a private, armed police force for its campuses. I find this repugnant. Hard to think of the campus that I spent four years on being inhabited by armed police. So yes, I know that times have changed, but still---the campus and the surrounding neighborhood have always been safe. Around the medical school and hospital it is a little different--but still, a police force cut off from the rest of Baltimore---not right. So here I am, asked by old friend to attend the reunion coming up when this happens. And one of my classmates (no named mentioned) is very for it. There have been many strong protests on the campus and maybe during my day at Homecoming, I could meet the students who have been protesting this and show my support. And at the dinner...? Well, we will see---I will call Jeff, the classmate who has been talking to me on the phone soon and discuss this with him. Its only fair, I don't want to touch base with him in March and then bring it up. But do I still want to go? Yes, in a way I do---but let's see how it plays out.
 What else---well the talkback with the brother of the man who killed himself after being destroyed by three years at Rikers was very revealing--the guy was very "cool" and articulate. I was surprised and impressed by how many students attended---now we will see how they carry this through. Also, there was a solitary confinement "experience" that I took, along with many other students---it was terribly "depressing" (not really a goo word for it) and I could not even complete it. Again, I was impressed by how many students allowed themselves to go through it.
  Chaperoned the debate club at Friends to Dalton---did not become a judge, so spent a lot of my time reading, but a good experience all in all. Friday and Saturday was a long day.
 Last night---with friend Clint and Kim, went to the mufti version of The Day Before Spring, an early musical, all but forgotten by Lerner and Loewe. Quite revealing---some wonderful songs, even if the plot was extremely predictable. Had a good time and went to a nice irish bar afterwards. A long day, but at the end I was not tired.
 Finally, today I will see the middle school play at Friends--I know a lot of the students in it---and then...? Not sure. Will report soon.

Thursday morning---

a long day to follow--I will go to Friends to participate in a discussion about the prison system, a dialogue that is going on all week, and then two sessions. Would like to do something after this, but I have a feeling that with my sleeping habits--a lot of ups and downs---I will be tired again. Also, tomorrow I have a short but full day at Friends followed by my chaperoning the debate team. Going to Dalton, a high school that I have never entered before---should be interesting---the team, under my chaperoning, will also be there all day Saturday---so it is a pretty full commitment. Then on Sunday, I must attend the 7th and 8th grade play,directed by my friend Shayna. It is The Skin of Our Teeth, by Thornton Wilder---ironically, in my second year at Camp Music Land (1959) I appeared in the second act of that play. Not terribly interesting, according to my parents, but Shayna's is an adaptation, and it sounds very ambitious.
 Ah yes, summer of 59, two romances one with Kate and one with Louise ( a little less interesting). Lots of energy that summer, better than the summer before at the same camp---also the summer that I, one of the leading actors of the group, was given a very small part in the camp musical. I still remember that, and also some songs from it. I was made to play a narrator, actually one of two (a greater indignity) who stood on the sidelines as the other characters lived through their narratives. Still, I survived--probably because I was obsessing about Judy, the Science senior I wanted so much to be involved with that fall and winter (It did not happen).
Last night, conceived of a short piece built around my first look at the families attending Yom Kippur services in Baltimore my freshman year at Hopkins. Kind of "Gatsby" like, which means the performance and vision of Gatz that I saw on Friday is still resonating with me. Will I put it to paper (or whatever one calls this blog)? Not sure. Still, enjoying writing today's---shows you how my mind is racing and how I can put that to use.
Next blog? Not sure, maybe Sunday---check it out!

it has been a long time.....

last post was last week at this time. Lots of work at Friends---some commitments there over the weekend--and lots of other things as well.
Gatz on Friday---arrived at 3:15, just as the party scene, which I had loved in Boston when I saw it there, was over. Sat in the balcony for the first part--felt fine, really knew what was going on-then at first afternoon intermission moved down to a side "private" place in the orchestra. Great place to see Gatz from---with no one next to me, was able to muse on my feelings about the play, the people in it, and the whole thing. The first part before the dinner break ends with Gatsby finally encountering Daisy--an awkward moment that sets everything up for the rest of the book. In this production the tension that the two feel, both sensitive and erotic is slighted a bit, and I did not know what to expect in the second part after the dinner break. But the second part was much stronger, thanks in part to an exceptional performance by Pete Simpson, playing Tom Buchanan---he really found the animal in the role, and in doing so, made the performance of Jim Fletcher, playing Gatsby much stronger. The scene in the hotel that ended part one of the evening part was intense and vicious--and set the tone for the tragedy of the rest of the evening. Sitting by myself I could feel the pain and sadness of the ending, yet understood the impossibility of a Daisy-Gatsby union. Scott, who played Carraway, gave the final moments a much greater power, then he had done previously. I left the theater feeling that something had really hit me hard---lots of thoughts about it, and where I stand in the life of the characters, on the next morning.
Not much on Saturday, pretty tired after two sessions and so spent most of the evening at home---not what I expected, but it happened. Sunday was fun---a stop at Cobra and then watching the Super Bowl at La Flaca, an ideal place for it. Lots of people there I know and like and enough space for me to experience the game by myself.
The rest of the week has just been work---yesterday on my way to the library on 160th and Saint Nicholas, decided to take the D to 155th street and walk west. Not a great idea, since the road on 155th was blocked. As I got off at the station the memory of many trips to that station to see the Giants at the Polo Grounds, returned to me. I could see it all, the turnstyles the men selling score cards, and just the excitement I felt as I got ready to see the game. All this took place between 1951 and 57, yet the memory of the trips and leaving that specific subway station was incredibly strong.
 Walking south on eighth avenue was like a trip into the older, poorer Harlem that I remember---only at about 149th street does one get a sense of change---a coffee spot seems to emerge out of nowhere. Then I remembered that Bradhurst Avenue, one short block west has been rebuilt with a lot of luxury houses, and that this shop must service those people. Finally made it to 145th, only to find out that the C and A trains were late, so back out again on foot another 13 blocks to the library. Wow! I am tired now!
Not sure about this evening---will depend on how strong I feel after a few sessions, will report tomorrow or soon.