a fierce passion

to attend this evening's performance at NYCB has overtaken me. There are tickets for $35.00 (none chaeaper?) It is an all Balanchine program---I spent so many hours in that space watching Balanchine and his dancers from 68 to about 83. Recently I have not gone---why? For one, who the theater is named after---really turns me off---but two----at times I feel too close to the ballets---almost as if they were former friends or lovers. The time that I spent studying, getting to know, and ultimately living with these ballets was a different time in my life---a time before subbing, doing theater, etc. Today would be a viable day to go--no work again at Friends (disappointing) and a relatively easy schedule in the afternoon. Should I do it? What about the opera, with the Tchaikovsky and Bartok program, or trying to get a rush ticket to Merrily (Hey Old Friend!) It's all a bit overwhelming, as I try to figure out both artistic and emotional needs at the moment.
  When I leave this library will I go across the plaza at Lincoln Center and get a ticket? Wait until after my session later in the day? Who knows?
  Yesterday, did attend the jazz concert at Friends (at least the beginning of it---I got tired quickly) saw several teachers and was greeted warmly by several students. If I don't get called to work tomorrow, this will be the first week of the year, including the short September week that began the first semester, that I have not worked one day. Trying not to get too worked up over it---I do have three scheduled days next week already, but when the normal pattern (around two or three days) is broken, it takes a bit of adjusting to work through the days. Still, this allows me the freedom of the evening---kind of a double edged sword, you know. Or a paradox? Don't want to belabor this forever---just let things work themselves out.
 On Sunday I had a nice talk with Bill D, another member of my Hopkins class---we talked about plans for the reunion. That will be in early April; I definitely plan to attend. Bill seems a nice solid, hail fellow well met person---I enjoyed our conversation.
  That is all for now---wild thoughts abound! Will report soon.