conquering the cold....

an improvement yesterday night---was able to sleep better with less protection and only one heater on. Should be better tonight, as the snow has actually warmed up the city. And the heat in the apartment is a little stronger. Still somewhat anxious on the effect all this will have on my electric bill, but things are much more in control.
   Yesterday, after the library, did attend the colloquium on gentrification in the library at Division street in Williamsburg. Glad I did, met lots of people. Some discussion, some presentation--at times, there was a ponderous sense, but some strong interaction as well. I always feel better after attending one of these, I always manage to have at least one interesting conversation with another participant, in this case a young man named Khalil, who was raised in Flatbush---attended Dalton and Amherst,and now lives in Bed Stuy. Trying to figure out what his role was in all this.  He lives in an apartment house that has been redone---all the tenants, whether black or white or basically young people. So where does he fit in in the "probblem"? Can't say, all I can say is that gentrification has many sides and comes from many angles. Each of us must conceive of it in his or her own way. After the forum, headed over to South Fourth to hang out for a while. Met my friends, Alison and Bill, a couple that I had not seen in a long time---it was really good catching up. Then I returned home to check on the heat, and found myself too tired to check out a movie. Stayed in and rested.
  Tonight, there should be a movie that will interest me--tomorrow is the "dreaded" New Year's Eve.
  Must give my life some meaning on that day. But how? If the cold is strong, will probably simply go to La Flaca and wait it out (perhaps with some really nice people). Otherwise could move around a bit. Reading some interesting essays by Ta-Nahisi Coates--should be able to report back on Tuesday.

the horror and the...

beauty---probably is the best way to sum up the last 24 hours. First the beauty: The concert last night at Carnegie Hall---my friend Richard gave an amazing performance of Mozart's Piano Concerto no 20---ably backed by the conductor's precision and the beautiful playing of the young orchestra. Richard seems to be getting better and better--the piece itself is amazing---so many contrasts--from dark to light, from intense to somewhat funny---there are so many ideas going through the music. I really believe that Mozart's piano concerti from numbers 9 to 27, stand alongside the plays of Shakespeare---they have remarkable depth and variety of ideas. Again, Richard was so comfortable with the piece---he moved so easily between its contrasts. I felt so good watching him. Remember, he and I played box ball together, outside the apartment house where he and his parents lived on Arnow Avenue (in the Bronx). Yes, it is the same person. And the orchestra was great---after the intermission they gave what I feel was a great performance of the Mendelssohn symphony number 3. Just taking the whole thing in, made me feel really alive and passionate.
Afterwards, decided not to stop off at a bar (I was hungry) but instead, opted for the nearby Greek diner for a blt and coffee. I wish I could tell you it was pleasant- the place was practically empty, and the food was adequate. But the price---after the tip, I had paid about $13.00. Can you believe that! Frightening! What will trying to survive in this city in ten years be like, if a simple BLT costs that much? I am not so worried for myself---I am a "canny" guy and know how to survive, but how can we have any decent kind of society for people not making that much money with these prices? Something must be done!
  Now the horror! The cold, coming through the large bay window in my apartment. Had to use two heaters yesterday to stabilize things. But that will add to my light bill. Did not sleep well, lots of anxiety---and of course, my life has been set up so that I have no real "close" friend--just many friends in all different places. But none whom I could ask to put me up in an emergency. So there we go---a lot of anxiety--my health is what supports me---cannot afford to get sick. So far, after a very restless night, I am feeling okay, but how do I completely protect myself in this weather? May see a lot of movies, just to keep warm. This is where I am at now--want to go to that conference on gentrification in the library in Williamsburg when I leave here,  and I think I can do that, but at this point, anything goes. Got to keep warm.
   I spent the last hour, prior to the library opening at the Barnes and Nobles on 83rd and Broadway. Lots of interesting and tempting books to read. Would love to explore Paul Auster's memoir on the death of his father, but I am currently reading the Coates essays about the years of Obama's presidency, so that will come first. Also, an interesting history book about Lincoln and the slave trade, as he was building his vision. Want to concentrate on these, so will put the Auster book aside for now.
  So that's it---will report tomorrow, and hopefully stay warm.

Had one session....

today, a lot of challenges in it, and somehow, it took me out of my "funk" that I was in yesterday. The problem came from the cold--it limited where I could go---maybe a lack of excitement of reading materials. The plan was to try to join a trivia game at South Fourth, but the cold made a trip to Williamsburg---with a long walk in addition to the subway ride to Bedford, pretty impossible. In the end, I opted for a movie at the soon to be closed, Lincoln Plaza cinema, and while I would have liked to have seen 1945---the movie about Poland right after the war ended, it was already on and so I opted for Happy End, the latest movie from the much respected Michael Hanneke.  Like most of his movies, it drips with interesting detail---about five interlocking stories of a connected family---found myself involved and feeling things for the characters most of the way, and the movie is certainly interesting to look at--no problem there--the ending, for me, was a little abrupt---ultimately he seems to be saying the same thing in many of his movies---there is rot at the center of the bourgeois experience. Is that anything new? Left the movie feeling a little disappointed, nevertheless, because the cold had made traveling so impractical, it filled up the time, and not in a bad way. Grabbed some chicken wings at Fairway before returning home.
  This evening I am going to the concert at Carnegie Hall. My friend Richard is playing the Mozart number 20, and the concert will also include the Scotch Symphony of Mendelsohn. The final three movements are very familiar to me since they are the ones that Balanchine used for his ballet, Scotch Symphony, which I have seen many times, but the first movement--one filled with passion, is the one that I am looking forward to hearing.
  That should do it for today---tomorrow I hope to attend a forum in Williamsburg on gentrification---should be interesting, and perhaps spend the whole day in Brooklyn. Will see, will report tomorrow...

a change....

now sitting in the library on 83rd and Amsterdam, had to break from the Lincoln Center routine, Surrounded by too many plays---actually looked at a lot of unknown Ibsen work---like Emperor and Galilean, or Pillars of Society---tempted to take them out---would love to know what Ibsen's earlier writing was like---but stopped short of doing it. For some reason, not the right time and place. Now in this "regular" library, maybe I can find some serious books to read for the rest of the vacation. Am currently approaching Act III of The Male Animal, a hit twice in its lifetime---once in 1940, and then once, when I was growing up in 1951. Two Broadway runs for this "serious" play, It is ludicrous--totally obvious as its plot creaks to its conclusion. Heft comes from the main character---an English professor at a football obsessed mid western college---who is determined to read his students a letter from Vanzetti, written right before he died. College benefactors are up in arms about this, naturally. Well what will happen. That is what Act III will tell me. Can't wait---but have to finish it.
  Yesterday: did go to see a movie---The Reagan Show---a documentary about the former president playing at Metrograph. Really love that place--have never seen it so empty---but going there makes me feel that there is something meaningful in seeing a movie---maybe part of a larger community that is turned on by movies. The movie is a documentary about Reagan--it is in a large part complimentary to him---it avoids discussion of his tax "reform" and his role in the Iran Contra affair. A lot of it has to do with his meetings with Gorbachov, as they discuss nuclear disarmament. In the end, his call for world peace seems meaningful---also that he was not afraid to alienate his conservative base by calling for disarmament. Glad I went---but I left and it was only a little after 7. I was determined not simply to return to the apartment. The plan was to go to the dive bar on Amsterdam and 96th---glad I followed it. Two bartenders, Howie and Brittany are very nice and welcoming, also had an interesting talk with the man sitting next to me--who turned out to be a theater person teaching theater in High School in northern California. Some good conversation; I also knew a teacher that he studied with and revered. Also got a chance to watch the Nets play the Spurs---a kind of boring game, but interesting to observe the difference in the two teams--the Spurs play a terribly controlled game of basketball--the Nets are younger--trying more things out--nice contrast, but a slow game. Anyway, left around 10 to go home, feeling more fulfilled then I had the last two nights.
  Today, not sure---plan is to play trivia at South Fourth---have not done that for a while---between then and now---not sure---maybe a movie, maybe...well, will report tomorrow or soon after.

Day number 5....

of the vacation---still somewhat at odds with all the free time. Just got an e-mail that included the Bronx Science Year Book of my senior class. Many students lived in the Bronx, in areas that are now all black and hispanic. Did some searching on google maps---looked at the old art deco apartments again. Lots of feeling. But what can I do? To do what---to bring back the neighborhood, to bring back the now seventy something students into their youth---all I know is that these images evoke a tremendous amount of feeling from me. Leave it at that.
 Reports: Saturday evening---good time at La Flaca with bartender and friend Tom, and my waitress friend. Watched the complete Nets-Indianan game---two teams that are very similar at this point. Game was decided in Indiana's favor by one point. Mostly a quiet night at the bar. Nice way of spending Saturday evening.
  Sunday---Cobra was closed, so headed to South Fourth for Jet football watching, around 1. Not a great time, a very nice new bartender had a very obnoxious, bombed out friend there, so I spent a lot of time avoiding him and feeling somewhat uncomfortable. Left around 4, figured that a movie was next---slowly moved towards BAM, got on the Nostrand Avenue bus, and opted not to get off at DeKalb, rather to view the avenue south to Fulton. Found, to my surprise, not a lot of new stores on the avenue, unlike Bedford, one block over, which seems to be crawling with them.Then Fulton Avenue bus to BAM, only to discover that the one  movie playing there that I wished to see had just started, and I was starving. Felt that food was more important, headed to Juniors for a large tuna fish sandwich, and some of the add ons---pickles and coleslaw. All this should have been good except that at this point, Junior's is charging $11.95 for the sandwich, then a dollar tax, and then a tip to the nice waitress--it all came to $15.00---simply for a tuna fish sandwich. Where will it end?  Headed into the city, with the thought of catching a movie in one of the west side movie theaters, when I seemed to get very tired. Decided that rest was the better part of valor, and headed home. Asleep by around 8, but then up around 2, at full force. Well, that is the way I have been sleeping at this point.  Don't exactly know what to do about it.
 Yesterday, Christmas Day---the plan was to see 2 movies. First up was Limelight, made by Charlie Chaplin in the early fifties. Saw it at the Walter Reade, a great place to see a movie. And what an incredible movie it is! So rich with ideas, visions---it seems to cover every aspect of performing :: ageing, dependence and so many other things. Chaplin, wrote, directed, wrote the songs for it--even helped choreograph some of the ballet scenes. And yet the piece is totally ego-less. The man looks at everything---loved the ideas about the irony of fame, public appreciation and how quickly it can melt into oblivion. There is so much feeling in the movie, and Claire Bloom is totally beautiful. I left the theater feeling terribly fulfilled, but what next? It was only about 4,. It was then that I decided that after Limelight, it would be impossible to absorb another movie. I did not want anything to juxtapose with it in my vision. It was getting really cold, I retreated to the apartment, got some chicken at Fairway ( a little too expensive and filling) and stayed home the rest of the late afternoon and night, reading, listening a bit to the radio, and, as usual, "putting things together" in my mind.
  What about tonight? Well, I am really interested in checking out the Nets-Spurs game that starts around 8:30. Where? My gut tells me at the Dive Bar, where I am friendly with a waitress and bartender, but can't be sure. As usual, everything is tentative. Will report tomorrow.

a sign of the times....

here I sit, in the Lincoln Center Library, where I usually do my reporting, and check my e-mails, etc. and I am very hungry. There is a cart a few feet away, where I could buy many kinds of sandwiches, quiches etc. Yet I won't. Why not. Their prices are for me, a little too expensive; there is nothing at the cart that I find reasonable (5.50 down). So at this point, I think I will deal with my hunger and wait until I leave the library to get some food. Don't want to do it; it would be so simple to just wander over to the cart and grab a decent tuna fish sandwich, but it would be $6.80, and I have just payed $3.25 for one of their croissants. Too much, city-boy; while we are not on a strict money watch, I won't simply shrug my shoulders and "bear it". So I will continue to write this blog with an empty and demanding stomach---then visit some other sites and finally go out and find a cart where I can buy something for around $5.00. So what is another $1.80, you ask, what is the big deal? I don't know, just want to do it that way.
   Yesterday, did make my trip to the Whitney in the evening. Got in for a dollar---found myself really involved in the Laura Owens wall--she really seems like an amazing artist---love the way she puts together objects and colors. I also found myself enjoying  looking at art in a way that I have not experienced before. Maybe during the vacation I will make some more visits---the Met is free, or close to it. Yes, something changed for me during my time at the Whitney.
  After visiting a few other floors, decided to check out the bar on the eighth floor. Found a seat, ithe place has a rather upscale vibe to it---took a long time for the bartender to notice me---did not like that--but I ordered a beer and read The Feud, an interesting look at the relationship between Edmund Wilson and Vladimir Nabakov. Have not read much of the latter, but the book is keeping my interest. No one seated next to me, until a young woman sat down. We chatted a bit, her name is Susannah, and she is taking a medical literature grad course at Columbia, prior to starting med school full time. Nice conversation, which covered the much admired Ladybird (like me, she found it very overrated) some Beethoven sonatas for piano (she used to teach piano), and some discussion about Alzheimers. I was surprised at how well the chat was going---finally it was time for the check---we said our goodbyes, and separated. Would enjoy talking with her again, but I did not ask for her e-mail, nor did she ask for mine, so I don't think that will happen---ofcourse, in this city, one can always bump into another person, so it is not impossible, but no real even "friendly" commitment. Oh well, life goes on. Will  look forward to making another trip to the Whitney or to one of the other museums around.
  After that, again hungry, but decided to simply return home and get some cheap stuff at Fairway; now my only choice for late night home bringing food. Really miss the utility of the West Side market, having Fairway as my only choice is a terrible inconvenience, but if it is hard for me, what is it like for older people using walkers or canes to move around. Fairway, even at the late hours, is always incredibly crowded. Will just have to cope.
Today: not sure, may go to La Flaca later to watch what seems like an interesting Net game, and hang out with bartender Tom, a really nice guy---that's about 7, a movie in between? We will see.

FREEDOM!

yes, it is true, for the next two weeks, cityboy is free. How do I feel? Very opened to things--to be frank, I have never felt this sense of "my life is my own" in such a way that I feel now. It is hard to describe in words a feeling of "openness" a sense of just a stream in front of you which one could follow---but that is what it is. I have come to a point of "no commitments" to anyone (at least while the vacation is on), Is this what I always wanted? A life totally my own?  Will it change the late night feelings of loneliness that I sometimes feel when I am awakened from sleep in the early hours in the morning?  Really can't say--it all seems in front of me. In a way, the fact that this was such a good year at Friends is causing all my upbeat feelings. So we just move on, like an arrow---movies, walks, discussions whatever. The city will find me anywhere I want to be in the next two weeks.
   Yesterday, did receive a call from Friends to sub during the day, prior to the Assembly. Really good, a hectic day with one rambunctious seventh grade class and a collaboration with fifth graders ready to leave for the vacation. Not the most sensitive group . But it game me a chance to see many faculty members and students whom I like, and wish them happy holidays. Also, one more day of money from the work, helps.
  What does cityboy want to be?
  Yesterday, fatigue set in as I was leaving Friends, and normally I would have simply returned to the apartment, but at the Whitney, my friend Sybil was having her once every four months solstice pageant, and I had to support her.. I arrived at the Whitney and joined Sybil's world around 4, the sun fully up and the window of the space, facing the Hudson River outside in all its sunlight. I realized that if I remained, I would watch the complete change from the sun in all its glory, to pure darkness in about 40 minutes. Could not believe this would happen, looking at the beautiful picture in front of me, filled with luminous yellow light, but sure enough, in a strange and quiet way, the sun left, and by the time I left Sybil' space, the Hudson was enshrouded in darkness. Have I ever done this before---watched as the light became dark? If I did, I don't specifically remember it. As for Sybil's pageant, it is contemplative and often removed. Arriving from the frenetic world of the school, itsquiet and removed vision was sometimes difficult for me to take. Yet I tried to understand Sybil's way of giving her audience things. Sometimes I marvel at her inventiveness, other times the distancing is difficult for me to handle. But going to her solstice celebrations at the Whitney has become part of my life, and I expect to continue supporting her, as long as she does it. Besides, it is really the only time I visit the far west side of Manhattan around 14th street. That is a trip in itself.
  Speaking of the Whitney, it is possible that I will return there tonight, when they have their free (or by contribution) Friday evenings. As I looked around, yesterday, I saw several exhibit statements that I might possibly like check out. Cannot pay that rediculously expensive (at least for me) fee (18.00) again, so tonight, or the other Friday nights, seem to be the best time to visit there Of course, there is an interesting basketball game at the same time (Nets-Wizards) that it might be fun to check out as well, at one of my many sports bars, but will probably steel myself to go to the Whitney.
 So the holiday approaches, Christmas has always been a kind of difficult day for me, since most places are closed---but this year an enormous amount of movies that I have not seen are playing just about everywhere. Must get some interesting books to "hunker down" with as well. Absorbed in Paul Auster's novel The Palace of Illusions, but should be finished with it soon, Then....

something amazing...

happened yesterday morning. I was sitting drinking coffee at the hotel where I go in the morning, at about 7:55. All hope of subbing at Friends had vanished---in my head I had resigned myself to a basically free day, and was considering my options for the evening, when I received a text message from the lower school secretary, asking me if I wanted to come in to sub for a fourth grade class. Would never had expected it---nevertheless, said yes--school for the fourth grade begins at 8:25---left my apartment at about 8:05---height of the rush hour---yet amazingly enough trains were not brutally crowded---and with some luck, and a lot of fast moving, got to Friends at 8:30. Then had a wonderful day with a really good fourth grade class---as I was in motion with the class felt so involved and committed to the present moment. JUST THERE. Its as if everything else in my life vanished! Anyway, the class was focused and cooperative---really pulled through to a great day. What now? Well, no work today, though I think I will go watch the basketball team play against Saint Ann's in Brooklyn Heights this afternoon. Tomorrow is Friends' last day before the winter break. May have some work, but will definitely go to the Christmas Assembly---looking forward to seeing last year's graduates, many of whom come back for this.
Also tomorrow is another of my friend Sybil's presentation at the Whitney celebrating the solstices. Two out of the last three were early morning ceremonies--loved the idea of getting up early and getting there---but tomorrow is an all day happening. So, if I don't get called to Friends, the plan is to get there at 10:30, then stay until around 12, then head over to Friends. Maybe even return to the Whitney for the end of the ceremony--it is possible. If I do sub tomorrow, will simply have to catch the end of ceremony at the Whitney. Anyway, that is the plan for now.
Monday evening: Went to the Bushwick Starr holiday celebration at Starr Bar---very glad I did. Lots of people there whom I knew, lots of good theater conversation---I actually won a raffle for a free beer, any time I go to a Bushwick Starr project. Except that I don't drink when I watch a play, and if I do, it is usually at a bar nearby---to hang out a little. Kind of ironic---also, the raffle person said that I could have one free beer each time I went to the Starr Bar (at the Bushwick Starr venue) I first interpreted this to mean that I could have a free beer every day at the bar where the celebration was taking place, the Starr Bar. Thought I would be riding the L train every other day to get my free beer, but alas, that is not the case--so I am stuck with a prize that I don't need too much. but no matter, I had a lot of fun at the party.
   And so, after tomorrow, I am virtually free for the next two weeks. What does that mean---how will I spend my time---enough books to read---enough money to see several movies?---enough moderately mild weather to take my walks in Brooklyn (and perhaps in the Bronx?)---enough "hang out" activities. We will see. Even today, with no work at Friends, I am feeling restless---somewhat unsettled---I need the structure that my days at Friends offers me. Well, let us see what happens.

Monday morning...

oh, my tummy! Yeah, can't seem to get that together--will have to wait it out.
Saturday: rest of the day---good conversations with Ben B when we met at the Public---went through all the theater reports and opinions of the last few months, while Ben has been away performing Small Mouth Sounds. Very fulfilling. Returned to the apartment in plenty of time--then walked to Ars Nova---from where I live---76th street and West End, to the theater at 54th and 10th. I really think walking is the best way to get there---maybe one can catch a bus on 72nd and West End that will drop me off at 10th and 57th, but oh, that waiting---seems like walking is a better alternative. Anyway, play be my friend (maybe acquaintance is a better word) Christine was a haphazard group of scenes, some realistic, some fantasy--that never quite congealed. Good and sensitive intentions but the work needs a lot more discipline and focus, and never gets around to saying what it really is about. Still, I  like going to Ars Nova, and had a nice talk with my friend Jess who was in the play (the real reason I went) after it was over. Actually the longest talk we have had. When it was over, got a slice of pizza, then toyed with the idea of going home---did not--instead went to Lansdowne Road, where I was warmly treated---had a beer, and then became hungry.Prices there are expensive---still did not want to go anywhere else, so chose the only item that was reasonable---a large guacamole plate. Very good, and had some fun watching the football and basketball game on their large and clear televisions---but still overspent by about $11.00. Left about 11:20, luckily a number 11 bus was coming through, just as i was leaving---so got home quickly afterwards. That was Saturday.
 Sunday---most of the day spent preparing for my "date" with my friend Jenni, the young woman I had met at Standings the Sunday before. An avowed Sea Hawk fan (she was raised in Seattle), our plan was to meet about 3:45. grab a place at the bar, and enjoy what I thought would be a close game between the Sea Hawks and the Rams. Well,it turns out Standings was packed, so Jenni and I had to stand by the door, and look up at the screen. At the same time, the Rams ravished the Sea Hawks--it was really no game at all. But Jenni and I talked constantly for about two hours---it was fun, but she is leaving for Seattle to live on Wednesday. Still, it was nice to hang with her---will return to Standings for other games, and friendly bartenders, Sam and Aaron.
  Stomach was bothering me, but I was hungry---stopped off at the old Greek diner on Broadway near 8th street for a fairly decent BLT. The cost, with tip---$11.50---where are we going with this? Then headed home, went to sleep early, but woke up around 12, had trouble returning to sleep---you know what that means, cityboy. Yeah, a tough night. But here I am, ready to go for the rest of the day--at least one session and then (hopefully) off to Bushwick for a party at Starr Bar with the Bushwick Starr group. Looking forward to it.
  One more thing. Yesterday I made a strong decision not to picket outside the apartment house of the Mayor's Deputy Commissioner on Housing. I usually support BAN on all their actions, but this one I could not---why? A little too close to home---perhaps I disagreed with targeting the woman, even though she represents an odious vision of housing for the future of the city. Well, hope to participate in other BAN events (maybe even one this evening) during the year, with all my passion. We will see.

what now, city boy....

Saturday morning---the past three days at Friends, very full days, both in terms of work, but also feeling very happy about the great appreciation that I experience there. Really in a good place. Four more school days to go--no work scheduled yet---but whatever happens, will definitely go to the Christmas Assembly--always fun, and  really looking forward to seeing some of last year's graduates, who usually return. Should be good.
Last night---returning from the full day at Friends, found myself physically very tired, so that precluded any movies, plays, or visiting bars. Stayed in the apartment, felt very restless--body tired, mind wanted to be somewhere else. Finally got to sleep around 11. Two full dreams, in one, I was at a Stadium event, when a loud explosion happened, and I saw the top of a layer of the stadium fall off. I immediately went under the table for protection--But the danger ended, that is all I remember of dream 1.
Dream 2; far more potent---I have, for some reason, taken a bus from around 125th street over a bridge that goes into the Bronx. I am very aware that I am moving into a mostly black and hispanic neighborhood, and a neighborhood of poverty. It is the day, the sun is out, probably a Sunday. The bus enters the Bronx, then takes me to my destination---a large art deco apartment house on the Grand Concourse, near 161st. I am very aware that this is an area that in my growing up years was all white and Jewish, and that I could have gone to parties or dated women my age in that apartment house. Now, however, I enter the courtyard, a large rectangle, fronting on the street. It is filled with many hispanic families---they seem to me to be middle class, all playing with their children, they line the courtyard, all the playing is friendly---still I feel like an outsider---what am I doing there? Finally I hit the center of the courtyard, sitting there in the center is an older white woman--it is very clear that she is not hispanic---looking straight ahead. I turn to face her---I think, wow! this older woman, obviously Jewish, is someone whom I could have dated when I was in high school or thereabouts. I try to understand what she is doing there---she shows no sign of discomfort at being the "other"> She says nothing to me, I don't speak to her, outside, the sun is shining on the Concourse---the dream stops.
What to make of it---not sure---realize that in some way I am fascinated by the changes in that neighborhood, trying to understand how one reality replaced another. Whenever I see one of those art deco houses, in pictures, or on google maps, my mind immediately snaps back to my childhood and the way there neighborhoods were part of my family reality. So what was the dream telling me---am  I only myself in the dream. Recently at a forum at Bronx Documentary Center I ha a conversation with  white woman photographer, about my age, who had just bought a co-op on the Concourse, near where I had the dream--she had been priced out of Greenpoint, was raised in Flushing, and was adjusting to this change. She was not the woman in the dream, but----
This morning: firmed up my appointment to meet my friend Ben, an actor now on hiatus from a tour, at the Public. Should be fun, I always enjoy my conversations with him. Tonight, go to Ars Nova for a play that a friend of mine is in. Should see many that I know.
Will report on all of that soon.

here we are...

my second day off----first time since October I have had two days in a row where I am not called. But I will be back there tomorrow; either for a half or full day. Will hear soon. So what now? Stay at the library then have to kill time while my apartment is being cleaned. Tonight: not sure---South fourth has the Hitchcock showings (I don't know which one) or possibly visit my bartender friends at the Dive Bar (they also have trivia there tonight, which might be fun). I have one session later in the day, how I feel after that will probably determine where I choose to go.
  Last night---did go to my friend Zoe's comic project at the Pit, an improve place on 29th street near Penn Station. Sort of disappointed. Zoe has incredible range, but her monologues did not show it---instead, they got bogged down in (what is best called) "messy internal junk". Do you know what I mean? But saw several friends there, including an old buddy from South Fourth, Will. We compared notes---he has renounced South Fourth, as he no longer lives in the area, but it was good to talk to him. Saw many other people I know there as well---nice to touch base---one of the actors was telling me he is "supering" at the Met---an interesting way of spending one's time. Maybe I will see him in one of the operas that he is appearing in.
 Have not been to the Met this year. Why? Certainly part of it is the banal group of operas they are presenting this year, but also there is something else. What?  Not sure, maybe the whole experience might be a little too overpowering for me at this time. But in terms of repertory, what is there to see?
Saw the first two acts of "Nozze de Figaro" two seasons ago---really hated the staging---now it is back. Maybe should go for the last two acts. Nothing else in the next couple of weeks really calls out to me. When The Merry Widow seems like an avant-garde piece, you know you are in trouble.
  Not much else to say---will discover soon what the next day will be like, and will report soon

Monday. no work....

at Friends---a good thing? Kind of relieved, as there are a few things I want to do this evening, and without a full day of subbing that will be possible. Still, there is an odd feeling that comes from the "freedom" of not working. Definitely a little different. Well, we will see how it all pays off in this evening's activities. First a weekend report:
Saturday: returned to the Flag project at the Brick---sat through nine monologues, all beginning with the same idea, and many including the same exact dialogue. Quickly felt a sense of exhaustion with the text, nevertheless experienced several really strong and individual interpretations of it. Went primarily to catch my friend Jessie's performance---I had seen several other friends perform last Saturday. She brought her four year old son along, and believe it or not, was able to incorporate him into her monologue. Much needed change from the others. Also got to see my friend Merlin do his for the second time, and it's great to see how much he has grown as an actor in the past few years. Will not return for the final Saturday, which I thought I would---yet it is meaningful to watch actors live through a monologue that really challenges them, and forces them to use endow the monologue with nothing but their own instruments. Not much afterwards, was tired so did not try to stay around Williamsburg or explore a bar. Returned home via subway.
  Yesterday: attended the Friends Seminary Winter play, Mary Shelley's Frankenstein. Whew! Quite an evocative afternoon! Steve, the director, created an amazing space at the Baruch Center. many different levels with the audience seated in different places. Great use of space, and great collaboration between Steve and his setting, costume and lighting designers. The student actors, many of whom I have been watching for all four years of their time at Friends, basically gave professional performances. Great energy and early nineteenth century authenticity from the all of them  Script, written by a woman whose work I do not know, gets a little hammy at times, but its structure is solid, and scenes are brief enough so they do not get bogged down. Basically, I am awed by the strength of the vision of the piece---something very close to a professional production.
  Did not wait around to congratulate the actors, many of whom I know pretty well---will talk to them when I return to Friends---instead, in the face of many bar choices---headed to Standings, the sports bar on 7th street a little west of 2nd Avenue. I was a regular their in the late 00's, but have been there less recently. Usually I go to one of my two bars in Brooklyn for the end of Sunday, either South Fourth or Cobra, but both only get one game on TV, and at Standings I could watch the two (or even three)  most important football games of the day. Really glad that I did---got a warm welcome from bartenders Aaron and Sam, watched the games in detail, and had really good conversations with a few friends of Sam, who were hanging around the bar. One of them, Jenni, a Seattle Sea Hawk fan, invited me to spend next Sunday at the bar with her, watching the next Seahawk game, a very important one against the Los Angeles Rams, I will certainly try to meet her there. Sounds like fun.
  Nice to be at a bar where I am remembered--maybe I have found another "home". Will see how this plays out in the next couple of weeks, particularly the vacation, where I will have lots of time.
 Anyway, it all looks interesting---will try to catch my friend Zoe's project at the PIT tonight, will report soon.

so, three days at Friends....

have come and gone. Should feel grateful for a;;  the warmth that I am experiencing from the students. It goes all the way from seventh to 12th grade. Tomorrow I go to the school play, Dracula---apparently it is interactive---and that should be fun; I am friendly with many of the students who are performing.  At the same time, I am tired from all the work. Only one day scheduled for next week so far---Friday---but I am sure there will be others. Friends has taken over my weekday life--not a bad thing---I am totally integrated into its world. But two theater friends of mine have small  projects set for Monday. Will I be able to attend both or either? Not sure. Only time will tell.
  Tuesday night: BAN meeting, the first in a long time. Preparations for the March on next Sunday outside the apartment house of DeBlasio's head of city planning. Do I want to be part of it? On one hand, really feel committed to the vision of BAN---I have just read another post of how the DOB allows aggressive developers to pray on Brownstone owners (particularly those of color) , and does nothing to stop it. It's frightening! So I should want to commit myself to his march. But something about where it is--close to where I live on the UWS, and some other issues, scares me off. Not that I have to go. There will be plenty of people there without me. Or should I watch from afar? A block away? Nothing is certain at this point, so just let the time pass, and see how you feel as it happens. Right, cityboy? Nothing else you can do, I guess.
   Yesterday, came home from Friends and slept--then got myself out to see the 9:00 showing of the documentary about the life of Arthur Miller, made by his daughter, Rebecca. A fantastic documentary--really a must for anybody teaching his work or who has grown up watching and thinking about his plays. Miller's bio covers the whole story--from his father's arrival in NY about the turn of the century to his death in 20007. Lots of details about the three marriages that Miller lived through---and also  about his life as a father to his three ( a fourth was institutionalized)  children. The auditorium at Cinema Village only had seven people in the audience. Strange. I wonder how many theater people are going. A cold night, but one worth going out on to see this film. 
   So where are you in this, cityboy? From the time you were nine, Miller was a household word in your apartment. You saw the first off Broadway revival of The Crucible (August, 1958) and the revival of A View From the Bridge (1965) that put the play back on the map. You were at the first production of After the Fall, and saw it four times (Once with Robards playing the lead, then three times with Hal Holbrook) --put together the many issues that the play deals with, into a comprehensive vision of Miller---at 21--then also the first versions of Incident at Vichy and the Price, a play that seemed outmoded when it opened in the spring of 1968--family issues had been overwhelmed by the Vietnam War and its opposition.
  Miller wrote the first act of Death of a Salesman in one long day, in isolation in a small work shack that he had built himself. He separated himself to create the play. That's what you feel incapable of doing, cityboy---simply creating one world by rejecting another. That dynamic, so far,does not suit you. Still, your mind works fast--you can see a conflict quickly. Can you do it, at some point?  no sure. And that is where we must leave it.
 Tonight, weather permitting (if it is still snowing, I will try my best to go) I want to return to the Brick to see more of William Burke's series of Flag monologues. Know them well by now, after seeing all nine of them last Saturday. Want to see my friend Jessie perform, as well as some new people. It is going to be interesting. Let's see what happens, as the time approaches.

cityboy at rest.....

so it seems---after a pretty frenetic day at Friends yesterday---three eighth grade classes and an eighth grade collab---enough said, and then a session around 125th street and Broadway. I left my sweater behind in the library during that session---but it forced me to buy a new one and voila---it turned out to be one that I liked. But I hate losing things---a lot of agitation, but it is over now.
  Saturday: did head out to East Flatbush to table for BAN, only to find out that there was no table at the conference being held in the church on Avenue D. But so what! It gave me a chance to wander through a neighborhood that I never really go to, and do some exploring. This is the area directly east and a little south of Nostrand and Beverly Road. Near the station, mostly private houses and a few small apartment houses---they become less and less as one walks east. Walked mostly on Clarendon Road---very quiet---I would assume most if not all of the private houses that I passed were owned by black families. Long walk from Nostrand (about East 30 street) to East 44th Street: I finally found the church on Avenue D, where the housing forum was taking place. Left soon after, since there was nothing for me to do there, but was not frustrated---I had to be in Williamsburg (not terribly close) in a few hours, and again, I always feel that a walk through a new part of Brooklyn is a viable way of spending time. What to do in the interim? Well, there is a bus on Avenue D that goes west to Ditmas Park; I took it, then wandered over to the Connecticut Muffin on Cortelyou Road for coffee and some marble cake. After that, took a circuitous route to the Brick Theater--arrived at Lorimer and Metropolitan early (of course)  and waited to take my place at the Flag Project, written by William Burke a friend of mine.
  And it was quite an amazing evening. Nine actors perform a variation of the same monologue while they sow and take apart an American Flag.The monologue is non-realistic---it really challenges the actors instrument to make choices, but in this case, the nine  actors  that I saw were really able to create something different each time. By the fourth monologue, I was familiar with the material, comfortable with it, and able to really enjoy the commitment of each actor. And I really saw some amazing choices being made. There are about 18 actors participating in this project; I will return Saturday evening to see one other actor whom I know, and watch another round of the monologues. Feel that I should make this commitment.
  Sunday, a slow day---too tired from the enormous amount of walking that I did the day before to go to Brooklyn, so I stayed around the apartment until dinner time, then off to La Flaca (after some deliberation) to see what was going on there. Very quiet, but did have a good chat with bartender Tom, about the money that can be made from commercials---also watched a bit of an important football game and made friends with a new patron, John, who actually works in the armed forces where he collaborates with the city anti-terrorism unit. Did not ask him about that---we stuck to football, but I had a very good time. Will probably go to La Flaca again, soon.
  Today, a BAN meeting this evening, that I will finally be able to go to--will see what happens from there. Will report soon.

cityboy relaxed (I thinnk)

...after averting a crisis at Friends, where yesterday afternoon, at the end of the day, he left a class' quizzes on the desk. But did not discover (or remember this) until I was sitting, somewhat comfortably at the Bunin, waiting for the movie, The Cool World to be shown. That last period was difficult, anyway, this only added more fuel to the fire. So what was to be done. Earlier this morning, I went to Friends, was able to get in because the security man was someone who has known me over the years, and went up to the room where the class was held, and voila! there were the quizzes---they had never been touched. Retrieved them, then deposited them on the appropriate desk in the history department. Whew! Have never done that before---had fantasies of trying to explain why the quiz was lost---very embarrassing, now that will not happen. Good to get that off my mind.
   Wednesday, did get to see Jesus Hopped the A Train (or at least its first act). Left because I had a heavy day the next day, and wanted to get some sleep. The act of the play that I saw had some riveting moments---some of the writing goes very deep, and the acting was amazing. Still, did not feel compelled to stay---besides the needed rest---perhaps the play is ultimately a little too intellectual for me---that sounds strange after the way I described it---but at times, for all its well meaning and savage moments, it gets a little too polemical. Should read the second act at some point.
  Yesterday, at Lincoln Center saw The Cool World, by Shirley Clark---poverty stricken Harlem in the early sixties. Story centers around Duke, a sixteen year old who wants to be the leader of a gang, and wants to prove his worth, even if it means killing the opposite gang leader. It is a picture of Harlem (around 5th Avenue and 119th street) that shows very little hope of a young person escaping. Excellent camera work and music--a great cast. Two of the actors who played the young gang members were at the Bunin, and spoke before the movie began---both very solid and eloquent gentlemen, now in their seventies. Despite my agitation (see above) I was able to enjoy the film.
  Tonight, the Brick "Flag" show, with several actors that I know doing monologues--should be interesting, before that may head to Brooklyn to do some tabling for BAN. Want to get involved again---this would be a good way since I have missed the last three meeting. Will report soon.