here I am....

Sunday early afternoon, back in the Bronx, at the Bronx Central Library. Glad it is there, have fond memories of the earlier one, about two blocks down---went there a lot as a Bronx Science student, also afterwards. Library is filled, nice to see so many minority people taking advantage of it being opened on a Sunday. From Gun Hill Road, took a bus down Webster Avenue to Fordham. Looked again at all the art deco houses that line the side streets between Bedford Park and Fordham. Very nostalgic, I am back in the fifties in an all white jewish neighborhood and it is the fifties. Can see it all so clearly.Good to take a trip like this, hope for more such adventures. Will return to Manhattan at some point and prepare for trip to Brooklyn and Jack tonight. Should be fun, doubt that I will be too tired to do it.
      Yesterday thought that Bushwick Starr trip to see the Banana Bag and Bodice show was possible, but it turned out, I was too tired. Discovered this around 5---still, had to get out, opted instead for the easiest choice---a movie at the Bunin at Lincoln Center. Good choice, saw In the Shadow of Women, a very focused study of a man and a woman whose marriage is coming apart, as each participates in an affair outside the marriage. Great camera angles focusing on all of this; for most of the movie I felt completely involved. Also sex scenes in the bedroom were more suggested then performed. The look on each charater's face after making love was much more effective. Just grabbed a slice of pizza after that, too tired to hit a bar on the upper west side. Went to sleep early, but did not really sleep effectively, by about 4 I was up, maybe a little sleep after that until 7. Still, got a decent amount of sleep---feeling strong physically, should have no trouble going to Brooklyn this evening, or performing the "marathon" day that I have at Friends, tomorrow..
  That should be all for now, will continue reporting as the week continues....

again, another....

three day assignment at Friends, which means no blogging (I am kind of religious about that). Yesterday, after lower school work, met Frank for coffee, good to touch base with him again, first time I have "talked theater" with anyone in a long time, felt refreshing. Speaking of theater, will try to go to Bushwick Starr tonight, to see the Banana Bag and Bodice project (the name escapes me). No tickets available, according to the web site, but usually can get a last minute place. Have to do it today, as schedule is closing in on me. Most days now with subbing and tutoring, simply come home and rest, and prepare for the next day. Also, tomorrow, will try to attend reading of a new play at Jack that my friend John has written. Should be a nice way to end weekend, and prepare for busy day at Friends, which is set up for Monday.
Not really a lot else to report---in two weeks there will be a four day break in the Friends schedule, and that should be nice---still have a lot of time today, but if I am going out to Bushwick this evening, should take it easy in the afternoon, maybe listen to opera, though Turandot is not really one of my favorites, might be effective over the radio, though.
Yesterday found a children's book in the lower school library, entitled George and Martha, great friends, immediately was struck by the choice of names---asked myself if this was a Whose Afraid of Virginia Woolf prequel. Obviously not, but got a kick out of reading it to the kindergarten students, and ended it without disrupting their train of thought, with a nice homage to Albee. Would like to tell it to some of my friends, see if they find it funny.
Should stop now, will report the next free day....

kind of rushed....

because of some new info-----just got an invite to cousin Kayla's birthday party next (not this) Saturday. Good, but another night that I can't use to catch up on some theater. Also found out about a fund raiser for one of my favorite groups, SOS, tomorrow in Brooklyn. Tomorrow should be a very heavy day for me, so I don't think I can attend---that is sad, because I really want to. And was asked to sub tomorrow in math and science department, but had to turn that down because already am subbing for Children's librarian. Hectic, hectic.
Yesterday, no lessons, decided to trek to Brooklyn, went to central library and used computer---looked at several books that I might take out and begin, but could decide on none of them (one, Paul Auster's Invisible, I read a few years ago---haunting and intense, but I don't seem ready to experience it again. Don't want, for some reason, to visit that world again. Still battling my way through Perfidia, the James Ellroy mystery. Like it, it is very skillful, but don't really feel compelled to return to it---nevertheless will try to finish it. left library feeling unsure of where to go, finally rejected a visit to Soda Bar---took train to BAM---considered seeing Carol, went for a slice of Pizza, visited book store on Fulton (a nice place to visit) and rejected movie idea. After Pizza, tiredness set in (naturally, since I usually sleep from about 9 to 2, and then am up until the morning begins.) Decided just to return to the apartment, fell into C train station and then waited about 20 minutes for a train, finally the A to come. Home and then fell asleep immediately.
This afternoon begins a long haul of lessons and subbing. Still, free tonight, would like to do "something" other than just return to the apartment. But a lot will depend on how tired I am. Cobra does tutoring on Tuesday evening---might check that out---but, anyway, will report at another time...

sitting in the library...

finally, "almost" a free day. Sense of relaxation, was sure that there would be some work for me this morning at Friends, but did not happen.
Friday night---slept a long time, really needed sleep.
Saturday---snow day, remained in the apartment with a few stops at local food market to pick up food (had no problem with this, even as the day progressed)
Pondered "aloneness" , did not make any plans to be with anyone as the snow progressed; felt that this represented my current "state"---had to stick it out alone. With just the radio for companionship, was able to listen to almost the complete Tannahauser broadcast, sounded wonderful, really great that I could just go through it. Thought about going down to the Center to try to see Pearl Fishers or a movie in that venue---with no computer, had no way of knowing if performances were going on, as the weather got worse, realized that it was foolish, and actually, I think all performances were canceled as of the afternoon. Caught up on sleep, listened to music, read some of Perfidia and looked at a few Philip Barry plays--I have a collection. As enticing as they seemed to me, decided to stay away from them---did not want to experience Barry, marooned in my apartment. Did read a little of The Animal Kingdom, my favorite Barry play, always moved by it---wonder if it would be a good play for high school (not that you are directing it anywhere), which is the way I think now. Anyway, day turned into night and back into day---Sunday morning was a relief, and in spite of so much snow on the ground, was able to move around.
Had a nice talk with my brother Sunday morning, we are both thrilled with Natalie's energy (she is my niece) and he seems happy with the situation as it exists now.
Later went out to South Fourth, not as exciting as my two previous visits, but did touch base with my friend Harlo, and compared notes with her. She asked me if I liked living alone; I gave her somewhat of a "standard" answer--as we spoke, I think I was feeling comfortable with it.
Long week ahead, work already scheduled for at leas two days, not sure what tonight will bring, will report later.

finally a day.....

off, the first in six days. Lots of tutoring in addition to the subbing---some great experiences at Friends, but generally, after a full day yesterday and three students, I am extremely fatigued.
Now I have to prepare for tomorrow's storm, which is supposed to be intense. What does that mean for me? Isolation? Will I be able to get to Lincoln Center and check out some of the options there (seems like the best place, as plenty of places to stay warm between theater, opera events and movies.
Anything else--still have James Ellroy's Perfidia to read---that should keep me busy, also the Met is having a broadcast of Tanhauser from last fall; this is a production that I wished to see but did not. At library now, will try to pick up another book that might also keep me occupied. Hope the storm is over by Sunday, so I can go out to South Fourth and immerse myself in football. Two good games, should be interesting. Anyway, that is the plan. Not sure about tonight, could go out to Brooklyn to see many things, but not clear how tired I will be. A part of me wants to just sit in a movie theater and watch a movie--that is all! But there are some plays I might check out---again, will depend on how strong I feel.
Amazingly enough, I don't think I can remember a time that I have worked harder, than I have in the past two weeks. Almost like a machine, moving from place to place. Where do we go from here? Not sure.
Got a chance to see Frank's play again last Sunday, really good, less good was Rachel's english project at the Invisible Dog---seemed mired in British specific culture--kind of too easy for a "liberal" to accept. Day after I tutored in north Bronx, got off at West Farms Square, took bus to Concourse, a remarkable ride up 177th street---a very poor and all black and Hispanic area of the Bronx. Really glad I did this---invigorated by looking at those streets, which of course, when I was growing up, were mostly white. Memories don't fade, should be a way of getting together with others who grew up in that area to share memories. Oh well, just one idea, should take some other Bronx excursions in the days to come.
This may be my last post before the blizzard, will report at some point on how it worked out,,,,

lots of work at....

Friends, the last three days, and looks like at least two next week. Lots of fun and commitment being there--happy about that. Have really been on the go since Wednesday morning; aside from work, no hanging out or encounters to report on. Tired a bit, but very invigorated.
I have two plays to see, part of COIL festival today and tomorrow. Also may want to visit Crown Heights Intervention Center today to participate in Martin Luther King Jr. festivities that they are sponsoring. A more militant march is happening on Monday---ambivalent about joining it--also it is going to be very cold, and I could have some sessions. Will "wrestle" with this problem. Not a lot else to say--lots of challenges, but feel invigorated. Will report on Plays and Projects next time.

tough night....

very little heat---heat restored around 9:30, then woke up around 11:30 to find out it was gone. Never any heat in bathroom pipe. Put on both heaters---needed them, stayed warm, but annoyed because now I have to pay greater electric bills---all of us in the building (market raters and rest stabilized) have made many complaints, boiler was "fixed" twice yesterday, and fine for a few hours. What happens today---don't want another night like last night---still feeling a lot of anxiety about being in cold, or having to use the heaters again. Things are raw in my head and tense.
Finished Janet Mock's autobiography, in preparation for forum tomorrow at Friends headed by Jason.
Not a great book, yes she transformed herself, and came from a very difficult family, but the writing is not particularly gripping or intense, and in her first chapter, she presents herself as a very self-entitled person---a young "hot" New Yorker, looking for another "hot" one. Not a great way to establish compassion from the reader. Anyway, talk tomorrow should be interesting, I am giving up some important tutoring time to be there, but I think Jason really appreciates my presence and commitment. Speaking of Friends, although I have been kept busy by my sessions, there has been no calls from there since last Monday. Getting me a little antsy---beginning to wonder the 'usual"---well you know what that means. Still, hanging in financially---if the heat gets back on regularly, things should straighten themselves out.
Still plan to see Frank's play on Sunday, and Rachel's project on Saturday---other than that, it is all hit and miss. Would like to see Mac Wellman's play while it is running---lots of people I know are in it, but wonder if that will be possible. Sessions are running later and later.
That's about all for now---Lehrer's state of the block program demonstrated how frustrated average New Yorkers feel about the aggressive changes taking place in the city. Next Mayor must.....
well, let's have some discussion..

at Dixon Place....

this Saturday, saw an interesting piece by a young Caribbean playwright, performed at the top floor. Interesting  but fun was meeting up with Sibyl before hand (havn't seen her in a while, really good to see her) and then chatting afterwards with Shayna and Sarah, both of whom I know from different places. Really good theater conversation, felt very at home and (dare I say it) "powerful" in my discussion---will see them again, I am sure---then I went to La Flaca---not much going on there, three guys at the bar were kind of loud, but got my barbecued chicken, which I think I really needed. Then home.
Yesterday, after session at 12, headed for (finally!) Brooklyn. Nice day made traveling very viable. Stopped off and had coffee at Cobra, wanted to watch most of Vikings Seahawks game, but kind of boring. Vikings looked in charge when I left, right before half time break. Later found out that they lost, but not by much.Game very defensive oriented, lots of commercials to break up pretty dull action. It was time to travel, I knew my ultimate destination would be South Fourth, but did not want to go there immediately.
So the long walk began---first, down Wycoff to Hart, then towards Broadway, stopped off at Molasses, a book store, browsed a bit, store located on Hart between Wilson and Knickerbocker, amazed at the amount of new buildings just on that street. Continued to Broadway, then decided to follow the southeast path of Broadway a few stops, so I walked from Kosciousko street to Halsey. Bushwick on one side of Broadway; Bed-Stuy on the other. Fascinated by the way both the north south streets (Patchen, Ralph, Howard, Saratoga) and east west streets (Quincy, Gates, Madison etc) all have the same origin point. Malcolm X boulevard, which I consider an eastern border of Bed_Stuy begins so close to the beginning of Bushwick, can't believe that the four avenues I mention go further.
Must do more walking around there, as temperatures improve.
Finally got on J at Halsey, when I got off at Marcy, a downpour was happening. Unbelievable, as I watched it, I could see to the west, a clear sky with the sun shining. A summer storm in early January? What next---what does it augur about our future weather.
At South fourth, good conversation with movie producer friend (whose name escapes me) and three girls who had wandered in from the rain. Their names: Mackenzie, Christina and Joelle. All had been in NY for around a year. Hung out with them for about an hour, gave Mackenzie (the most vivacious of the group) some info on rent stabilization in NYC.---when they left, returned to watching next football game.
But that was not all. Wanted to go to Jack at Waverly and Fulton, but how?
Bob's traveling in Brooklyn rule number one: when going from one section of Brooklyn to another never travel via Manhattan. So waited for about 20 minutes for the 62---that took me from Roebling and Broadway to Park and Washington (one block east of Waverly) from their, walked the seven or eight blocks to Fulton---houses on Washington looked truly beautiful---and arrived at Jack to hear a jazz concert that was a benefit to raise money for Tamir Rice. Said hello to Alex, the conceiver of Jack, and then listened for about an hour and a half, really tired after that, jumped on C train at Washington (amazingly enough, it came very quickly) and returned home.
Have been up since 3 this morning---waiting for phone call from Friends (it did not come) and dealing with no heat. But the heat has since been restored, and so has my equilibrium..

Finally got out....

and really glad that I did. Though a little tired last night, pushed myself to see Frank's play at Paradise Factory---really happy about that---this is a terrific piece---totally original, never have seen a play about jazz before---this one explores it so effortlessly. Good to see Nila, Frank's girl friend, former bartender at Cosi, and original connection to Frank at the show---she lives in Seattle now, as well as some other former Cosi service people, really after ten years they all look great. But thinking about it now, it was just so important to get out---to be somewhere else besides the apartment in the evening, a really good choice. They play should have a life after these performances at COIL, will be very unfair if it does not.
Today, only one session (so it seems) planning to go to Dixon Place this evening, need to take it easy during the day---maybe listen to some of the opera---Anna Bolena on the radio---one that I have never heard of before. Also, reading a really solid book by James Ellory called Perfidia, about LA just as the Japanese have invaded Pearl Harbor---football playoffs also begin this afternoon, should find a place to watch them, though evening game is the much more interesting one.
Not that much more to say, will probably report on Monday...

looks like....

i may get a chance to see my friend Frank's play tonight---tickets are available (according to the web site) and I have a lighter schedule today than previously this week. Not sure how many sessions I will have tomorrow, said I will go to Dixon Place for Saturday evening play recommended by Sibyl, not sure what will happen after that---good football game on that night, maybe go to La Flaca, would also like to pay a visit to South Fourth, have not been there in a while (since the precipitous New Year's Eve encounter with my friend Emily)---also will depend on Sunday schedule, not firmed up yet. Must do SOMETHING tonight, tired of just going home because I am exhausted and looking at the walls of my apartment---definitely in need of some stimulation--hope I can check out Frank's show, which is just at the right time.
Last night, after my two sessions, still felt tired, also hungry, went to two boots on Broadway and 95th for a nice slice of peppironi then off to the Dive Bar, got a space at the bar, but not much was happening, had my beer and left---returned home.
Weekend will be busy---lots of options, want to go to Jack on Sunday evening to make my contribution to the Tamar Rice fund---don't know what the afternoon will bring, would like to attend the Bronx Conference on gentrification, but don't know if I will be able to, should be in the Bronx because I have a student there, but not sure what is after the morning.
DeBlasio on the radio---took questions, spoke a lot about helping the homeless, but nothing about his ties to the Real Estate developers and their need to get as much space for themselves as possible. Wish a good discussion on this was possible.
That is all for now...will report tomorrow..

played out...

from 3.5 sessions yesterday, today should be a little easier, also slept better last night, woke up feeling stronger---certainly has something to do with the fact that my "hungry" meal was a blt, and coffee, followed by a mixed sugar cookie. Have to remember that large chicken meals are potentially harmful and should be ruled out.
Dream last night had something to do with my being part of a welcoming group in Brooklyn, some kind of open place, one of the other members there was a black man who must have been in his eighties (but he looked very well) and I recognize him as one of the original cast of West Side Story, naturally I am eager to get all the facts from him. but he is very controlled and reticent (as were the members of WSS's original cast, when one met them outside the stage door) That's all I remember, actually I think there was only one black member of the original cast (Ronnie Lee) and this was not the man in the dream. Anyway, the dream was a bit more upbeat than last night's frightening vision, so I am not complaining.
Today in my hotmail in box: An invitation to an anti gentrification meeting in the Bronx.
Above it, an invitation to a play by a friend of mine, in which she performs nude in a bathtub.
Well, two different worlds (have not made up my mind if I will go to either)
Today, a few sessions--see how I feel after that, not as strenuous as yesterday, tomorrow, a little more relaxing---nice to have all this work while Friends work is dormant, but somewhat overwhelming as well.
American Realness, Coil, Under the Radar, bric, Mac Wellman...all around, will see what the future brings...

so it...

continues...a mother just requested several sessions with her son. I have tutored him previously---demand is strong. See how it plays out.
Yesterday, I guess you could call it a "recovery" day---tutored in the afternoon, after two session extremely tired, must be fallout from epic lost phone "journey" from the night before. No opera, obviously, simply went home and rested. Slept for a while, then up and around, putting things together in my mind (that is what you do when you have no computer, smart phone, tv, or cd player in the apartment)---then off to sleep again.
Frightening dream, early in the morning, I am at some kind of lunch celebration with a group of people, including a date (whom I could not identify). Long rectangular table. Lots of conversation. All of a sudden, four men (white, lower class) who look like building workers bring in the body of a steer. They drop it on the table, make some noise and leave. That is odd, I think. But everything is going smoothly, all of a sudden meal is served some roast beef with pees---conversation continues--then a break (dd I wake up during this time or not, don't know)  I have lost consciousness somehow, wake up (in the dream) and the table is deserted, I am there by myself, table is stripped, carcas of the beef sits in the middle of the table, only other person there is tied up and can't speak. I am utterly confounded by this bizarre turn of events, where is everyone...why I am here by myself, what has become of my "date"?  I walk over to the tied up person (man or woman, I don't know) with a desire for information. As I approach this person and try to untie them, so as to find out what happened, I awake.
Feeling frightened. What does the dream mean..? Desertion...?  Able to go back to sleep, but can't get the dream out of my mind, seems to taken from an Adam Rapp play (maybe)---juxtaposition of the two worlds something that might come from an act change in a play. Yet my own bewilderment...
    Time and vision return to their normal form. I sit in the library calmer then I was this morning, planning my afternoon. Have not eaten much since the "gorge" on Monday evening, after taking back my phone (in reality it was never lost). Ate very little yesterday, stomach, at this point, seems to want nothing. Just wait it out, hunger will arrive.
    Lots of options in the coming days---not sure how work will impact them. Will continue progressing....

panic, yesterday over....

"phone loss", which actually did not happen. But when I left Friends, and checked while crossing from N to D train at 34th street, amazed to find the phone not in my pocket. Searched frantically, did not find it. Did I leave it at Friends..? Had to continue to student in Harlem, dealt with panic and what would happen if phone was lost. Got to student and explained situation, her mother very understanding, let me use the phone to contact Friends, in spite of discomfort, had a fairly productive lesson with my student, who was very sweet (and very tired). Left their apartment starving but determined to return to Friends to search library---got of at 96th street, made phone call, Mike, a great guy who supervises the custodial staff at Friends in the evening had found the phone. Returned to Friends, grabbed the phone and finally stuffed myself with lemon chicken at nearbye Chinese restaurant. All of this, from the time that I left Friends the first time, took all of 2 and a half hours.
Amazing---pushed myself incredibly from one part of Manhattan to another with little food support, but I did it. Returned home still emotionally exhausted, not relieved, slept a long time, very deep sleep, very good for me. No work today at Friends, so body has a chance to restore itself.
Tonight, was planning to see Anna Bolena, but just checked the opera web site, and lowest prices are a little bit too expensive for me. Maybe standing room, but only if  I am up to it. Have to draw the money line somewhere.
That's all for now, still chilling "in" from last nights' "adventure"--will continue report soon.

so here we are...

Monday morning, the coldest day of the year. Rest of the weekend: Saturday, returned to apartment exhausted---not much to say----did not sleep well, sort of mirrored the Sunday before, where my lack of sleep was anticipated by the Boston trip. In this case, it wasn't, but it did not stop me from having a productive session with two students. Today, no students, library work in the afternoon at Friends.
Yesterday, after sessions, went to my friend (and fellow Hopkins graduate) Michael H's birthday party, at Amirichi, an African restaurant situated in a downtown Brooklyn high rise (irony) that seemed to serve mostly afro-american middle class restaurant goers. Took me forever to find it, really frustrating, but once there, Michael and his two friends were extremely welcoming. Good conversation with one of his friends about cities changing and also recommended to him the Baltimore Sun series of articles about catching a killer.
Walked with Michael to Hoyt Street Station where I picked up the three, then got off at Houston Street on the way home, somehow, had the need to look at the Film Forum schedule. Read it on the train going home---nothing very interesting in that---slept okay, only woke up to no heat---that has been restored and hopefully there will be no more problems in that area.
Really all for now---lots of time to kill before arriving at Friends, do not want to return to the house, should stop by Old Navy and pick up some undershirts, and maybe even a better winter coat than the one that I have now. Then, on to Friends.....
Still struggling with COIL schedule, not sure which days I will be too exhausted to see these project,will try to see Frank's and Rachel's towards the end, and if possible , check out Frank's earlier as well. That's all

so, it happened, and now...

on Saturday morning, I am exhausted from the last two days. First New Year's Eve, probably the best in a long time, I did go somewhere---first South Fourth Street Bar, and though it took a little time, things got heated up--had one very meaningful encounter with a woman visiting from Australia---very important for me at this time---but then, on to La Flaca---where 2015 came to and end and 2016 began. Everyone very friendly there, Bobby, the owner will this summer have been my friend for 16 years (amazing!) and others, servers, bar people and guests whom I have gotten to know in the past few years were really nice. Returned home with somewhat of a "new vision" of myself.
  Yesterday, the first, spent the afternoon at the Singer's party---something that I have done for the past few years, has become a fun habit, even if I do eat much to much. Lots of good conversation on many topics, happy to talk Brooklyn politics with several people there, some theater talk as well. Interesting, two of the guests are Park Slope homeowner, now grandparents, both bought their homes in the late seventies and thereabouts, of course the value of their homes have exploded. As one was saying, "nobody expected this explosion to happen". Interesting stories on how sixth street near sixth avenue in the late seventies was extremely "iffy" Oh well, that is the story, none of us predicted it---now, how do we make our way out of this "mess". (Depending, of course on who your are). At any rate, good conversation continued until I left, then had to see one more Sirk film, arrived at Walter Reade just in time. The movie was "The French Thing", or something like that---a slight but charming film with a very tart screenplay, and great performances from Don Ameche (remember him) Dorothy Lamour, Willard Parker and others. Something to be said for the way they made films in the forties and fifties; tremendously stylized but the bottom line was that they were all about creating illusion---that's why the camera angles were so inventive. Still, not a very deep experience but a good time passer---might see another tonight, but not particularly motivated to do so; if I do it will just be to throw away some time.
Tomorrow, some sessions and a birthday party, my good friend Michael at a restaurant in DUMBO; tonight, not sure, will depend on how I feel, not as much work today as expected, will play it by ear, might be fun to visit The Dive Bar on 96street--that place is getting friendlier and friendlier.
  Will report back on Monday or soon after..