feeling better and kind of....

exhhilirated as I sit here in the library preparing for the day. Rough night----some dreams that were difficult (more on that later) but feeling very strong this morning, interesting, seems like after two or threee days at Friends, my body needs to live through one day of being fatigued before feeling strong again. Definitely will go to Bushwick Starr tonight, to see my friend Rebecca in one of the Target Margin one acts. Before that, one or two lessons.
Yesterday---as I said, a little tired, went to Lincoln Center Library in afternoon, looked at what Tony Tanner had to say about Macbeth---again, very cutting and insightful measure of the play. Interesting how first report by bloody seargeant forsees almost the whole play, also begins the play with a sense of 'order" that eventually will be disrupted. Left the library feeling incredibly involved and stimulated---but felt too tired to go to Brooklyn---ended up going down to Cinema Village (did a lot of walking to get there, so couldn't have felt too tired) and choosing to see Appropriate Behavior, a movie about an Iranian lesbian twenty something trying to work through her feelings after being dumped by a partner she had strong feelings for. Fun movie, but ultimately very inconsequential---I almost felt that while I was watching it I was not there. All these NY movies about twenty something like Tiny Furniture, Listen Up Philip, etc, create a NY for twenty somethings where no one is worried about the rent, no one is moving into more "sketchier" neigborhoods, no one feels they are being out priced of the city. Very little interaction with black or hispanic people as well. On Monday saw Oustland's movie at Bunin, much greater involvement---strong feeling more of a cutting edge energy-felt like I was really being involved.
The Dream---which has stayed with me since the night.
I am having a coffee with Dave Ricci who is about my age. He was a freshman at Hopkins when I was a senior "running" the theater group there with great energy. I have not seen him since a year after I graduated, often wondered whether he thought about me, and whether I had "made it" Anyway, in the dream we are getting along well, then I quote to him the lines he had in a play that we did that year called J.B, by Archibald MacCleish. They come in the middle of the first act and announce to the Job figure (here called JB) that two of his five children have been killed in a car crash. He is shocked that I remember the lines and the situation of the play so well, he complements me on my memory, all of a sudden a baby in a bassinet appears near us, it is his and his wife's? No, I remember, he is in his sixties now, perhaps a grand child. We part on good terms and I wake up with full memory of the dream.
Now here is the thing: Dave Ricci died about four years ago--I was able to find out from one of the alumni papers. So I dreamed about re-communicating with someone who is actuall dead. Somewhat stunned by this. Also tried to find similarities between my hectic life now (Friends, tutoring) and my life that year as Barnstormer President at Hopkins. Other assoications..? Who can say.
Let's leave it at that, more things to be considered...a good friend is coming into town for the week...
out to Bushwick this evening, see what happens....