A beuatiful day.....

feeling very upbeat. despite still no word from Friends. Spoke to Monica yesterday, she was reassuring, possibly it is just a matter of time. Slow and restless day yesterday until visit to South Fourth--good talk with Natasha----today a sense of anything being possible, a million things to see on stage and movies, but no money, still better to be outside today---will probably go to Brooklyn this afternoon, then wait for the baseball games this evening, probably will wind up at Standings for them.
Tomorrow three tutoring sessions scheduled, first time to see Chelsea, let's see if it all pans out, may be very tired after that---might go out to the free food park in Brooklyn if there is time, or to La Flaca to see Shayla, or the South Fourth to chat with Becca and find out about her mom's reading, if it will happen---then maybe home to collapse---or may not.....?

fun night.....

last night, after seeing the last Fringe Encores series, all went to Panchita's for some food and drink. Good conversation---interesting that after 5 years, Fringe is really part of my life. Nice walk with Dale afterwards...then a bit around Chelsea, and home. But what of work...? Not much to report, still no word from Friends, called Helli today about working with Chelsea, will see her on Saturday, but now I have to move Deyra. Chelsea now in afterschool program where she does her homework, which is why my hours with her will be curtailed. Not much i can do.
Yesterday, finished reading JC Oates' memoir, A Widow's Journal---very powerful, a lot of insight, a lot of things for me to consider as I think of my own life. Today the goal is to save money--see how that plays out--have not seen the inside of a movie theater in........long time. Nevertheless, much to do, still a lot of reading, may pick up some music after this (I am in Lincoln Center Library now) . Tonight, not sure, maybe south fourth for the movie, or my friends at Standings.....depends on a lot of things.....

nice weekend....

for tutoring, three excellent sessions, though I should be more focused with deyra, still, did help her in math---really pretty successful, but still wait for the others to call back---don't aggressively pursue more students, even if I know they are out there, and could really make use of me. Hoped that I would receive a phone call from Friends last night or this morning, but it did not happen, have to hold on for a while.
Saturday, after tuturing tired but went out to Bed-Stuy and participated in the free food event at Marcy and Lafayette. Met interesting guys, Noah and Eric---interesting trek to their house on Pulaski, east of Throop---have to say that I have never been that deeply into Bed-Stuy. Afterwards, followed Throop down a few blocks, the f elt more comfortable on Tompkins (less apartment houses), then to Park and then to Broadway---somewhat disconcerting feelings about being so deep in---I don't think the guys share that. Anyway, will probably see them again next week---tonight the belated Fringe party, hope to see some of the old group---let it happen...

How is it....

that after a successful day, good time with Patrick, Kim, and the others at South Fourth, a nice walk through Jewish Williamsburg, interesting walking there after school, oodles of school children moving from place to place, the atmosphere almost seemed wholesome, not controlled, which is what I usually perceive when I walk through there, then up to Lafayette and Nostrand, had a coffee (which i probably did not need) and sat outside, observing the look of the neighborhood. Call it Bed-Stuy west, half black, half gentrified, not as big a contradiction as on Marcy, was it mellow...? Not exactly..but...should return, then on to La flaca, then to watch the games at Standings, nice welcome from Aaron, left feeling accepted, a good day! But awake at 3, filled with a kind of emptiness, everything seeming to focus on not working and not tutoring. Seems to me that I can't fight the anxiety at that time---stuck in the house, everything is microscoped to the frustration----once I am out, things are better, it's not that I mind the intense budgeting that I have to do now....can handle that, more the sadness at having the day empty. Have received e-mails from Jamie, Sue and Zennie, ressuring, is it possible that no one is simply sick there....anyway, will wait it out---found out about applying for back unemployment if now work is available.
Tonight, must play Trivia at South fourth, need to be there, invited to an interesting political talk at Baruch, early enough so that I could make Trivia, but somehow, I don't think I can bring myself to go---a demand for a third party---very important, but dooable...? Will probably skip it, tomorrow Becca will be on the bar during the day at South Fourth, really look forward to discussing her mom's book with her; hope that the night will be calmer....

Good conversation....

with Frank, this morning, wonder if he will get me comps to Sun Also Rises. Would enjoy seeing it again. Otherwise, still nothing new in the work department....woke up this morning feeling angry---now, however, in a much better mood, more accepting, will go tonight to South Fourth for Trivia. Yesterday after Furee meeting, which I contributed a good deal to, took the F back to La Flace, ate, and then stopped off to watch the Orioles step on the Rays' playoff chances. Not much happening in the bar (One on One) but watched without disturbance. Also a long walk from Grand and Suffolk to 14th and 7th. Had to, since I was out of money. No bank fees for this boy. Anyway, let it continue......

so today...

I find myself with another full day of no plans, until FUREE meeting tonight. Still on austerity budget; had a really nice night at South Fourth yesterday, Lana was great at revealing my birthday. Really have a nice niche there, unemployment arrived today, feel a little bit more at ease, still would like to have some students back. Beuatiful day, perhaps will head out to Brooklyn a little earlier.....

after listening to.....

State Rep Eric Adams on the Lehrer show, can't help but feel overwhelmed and depressed by the subject. What is to be done....? Meanwhile, only one offer from Friends, and it is kind of a long time away......hopefully that will change. Stayed hard yesterday, had a very good time at Trivia, may go out to South Fourth again for the short story meet-up (for want of a better word) and football game this evening. Should stop in at La Flaca too, at some point. Many interesting movies this weekend, but austerity budget still holds, still will see Nelson's play on Saturday, and Adam's play next Sunday evening. Things should be clearer then.

sadness.....

lesson has been canceled, leaving a hole in my day, and also not getting much needed money that I really need. Feel sad, wondering how to fill up the time---the one book that I am reading is not that interesting---possibly go to Brooklyn and see what is out there....maybe I can find the biography of Wendy Wasserstein, which is what I really would like to read. Other than that, not much else to say...will play trivia tonight at South Fourth, and continue on...many interesting movies seem to be opening on Friday, plus the plays that I want to see (Richard Nelson's, Adam's) but today, will probably opt for austerity. Not much else.....

I have given....

myself twenty minutes on the computer, here in the "mall" that sits on Bedford and N. 5th. Wander through the bookstore, then come here....the Prophet.....remember Joan telling you that it gave her permission to love more than one man---struck by that memory, so many years later, there is no way I pass a copy of "The Prophet" and don't remember her saying this.
Finished the lesson with Jhennifer, then a long walk through the Bronx---passed Boynton Avenue, that is where my father taught for so many years (Monroe High School) , again a street sign that never fails to evoke the memory of my father's place.
Yesterday a long walk down Myrtle Avenue from Wycoff to Bushwick, mostly Spanish for the trip, then as you approach Bushwick you begin to see white people. Saw the two "mystery" hang outs that I have heard about for so long, Gotham COmedy club, by the Central Avenue M train, then Goodbye Blue Monday, both a bit dark and forboding...return to home, tomorrow the "new year" begins (labor day definitely the "death" of summer) Tonight will possibly see Don Carlo at the plaza outside the Met....will see what happens.....

where to begin....

yesterday, gave out food in the park at Lafayette and Marcy---interesting how bed-stuy is becoming more and more familiar to me---remember the time you picked up a foster child from the bed stuy foster home in 1968. You marveled at the calm of the area. Wonder what street that was---have no idea, no way definitely of finding out. There is almost a suburban feeling on some of the streets that you walked on. Then tried to find Goodbye Blue Monday....didn't...must have passed it by, walked all the way up to Flushing on the J train. Why am I so fascinated by the way the streets go begin both perpendicular and parallel to Broadway...? Might return there today.

Went back to the Plaza at Lincoln Center and stayed for all of Boris Godunov last night, even though I was really tired. Amazing the depth of the piece. Will probably return one more time tomorrow night and see some (all) of Don Carlos. As for today....off to La Flaca.....