and tomorow

and tomorrow I will be at Friends, and yesterday had a good session with Lena, but restless and worried, no work at Friends after tomorrow, feel cut off when I am not there, when I am there everything is cool, but....need something more, more tutoring, more every day subbing more.....something...anyway, today I will watch the Friends basketball team (actually both of them, a double header, at Metro Tech) still, a lot of culture to catch up on, how much will I see, how much is important......? Really hope I can check out Peter Grimes...the rest...well...depends what our other options are...still don't like to deal with this frustration at a time when I feel so potent....work it out.......

another......but today

Another great day at Friends yesterday...stayed for basketball game, then home, really tired, fell asleep at around 8, awoke at 11, kind of stunned by everything, got a muffin, then back to the apartment. Will return to Friends on Friday...but today......tried to find out about missing check for my one day of work at 163, Fran said she will check....miss that place, real questions are, can I find work at DOE during Spring break at Friends, and what about the WSS exhibit, how will I do it? Must see it before it ends (the 29 of March) still not sure whether I want to combine it with a visit to my friend Bob, or do it myself, and stay over at a hotel (further my independance) This has to be worked out.....later.......

today (monday)

Just joined Yelp! What does that mean---will I be writing on this blog less? Not that I am really writing that much. See what happens. Yesterday a good day, feeling much better as well, after a tired and strange Saturday. Enjoyed watching the girls play---they came from behind to win---makes me think a lot about basketball---more than I have in a long time----yesterday had a really nice tutoring session with Brandon, then a good encounter (unplanned) with Jennie T in the subway vestibule between 6th and 7th on 14st. See, it does pay to take the subway, then off to South Fourth for the interminable Oscars, left early, but had a nice talk with Nadja---may help her get a job. Today, frustrated because DOE did not even offer me one job (not that I would have taken it) and did not expect Friends to call, and they didn't. Will go there later to watch the guys play the final...after that...........

so what's new....?

Three hectic days at Friends, but very fulfilling...really got along well with the kids....will go today to girls basketball game at Brearley......after that....supremeley tired today...seems to make sense.....may tutor Brandon tomorrow, was able to do so on Wednesday after Friends....what else.....not much, not sure what the future will bring........missed Diane at Bowery Poetry Club, only Tania was there, Diane was sick, but may go back and visit her at work---really don't enjoy the open mikes....anyway.......

Monday...mild

next to Normal---really enraged me---cannot understand how people can find something valuable in the musical---it simply puts the main character in a cage---she is completely intellectualized. Music not bad, but two major Rent ripoffs. Audience loved it---well very industry oriented. then went up to Toast (the old toast on 125 street) was hungry, needed the salad and the chicken, but ended up paying too much, no interesting conversation, which is what I hoped for---awoke this morning restless, but enjoyed doing some reading at Cosi, lots of stuff for John's classes to work on this week---will probably read and travel all today, taking advantage of the good weather---will try to visit the O'Debra sisters tonight----really want to check in on Diane and Nick...tomorrow do some more preparing for classes at Friends.

the botz.....

Awoke this morning with good feelings re Jessie's botzmitzfah (I am sure I spelled it wrong) Found the ceremony a little self-congradulatory and for some reason I am very put off by the sound of hebrew; this probably has a lot to do with my being raised on theater---something hollow about what is taking place in the religious space---anyway, many years later, that is what I feel. Things picked up with the party side of the evening, great to talk to Eli, met Mina and her husband who had come from Minneapolis, had a nice talk about that city---good vibes---really tired on the train home, looking forward to spending Passover with the Schwarz family.
Today a bit of a blur, as I try to figure out how to spend the time up to seeing Next To Normal---my first theater experience in quite a while. Feeling kind of tired and somewhat lethrargic---perhaps a movie---shouldn't cost too much...that's all for now........

This is the day of.....

This is the day of Jessie's botzmitzfah---at 5:00---looking forward to it---meanwhile the problem arises what to do while I am waiting for it to happen. South fourth and Jeannine? Probably......that will take up a bit of time, still it is strange to go to Williamsburg, then back to upper west, then back to Brooklyn again---possibly should do it other way, but won't. Yesterday after feeling tired much of the day, went out to Brooklyn, at South Fourth met Claudia, an "eccentric" teacher at Midwood---made some nice and solid contact---happy about that---came home, slept a little easier, I think, but still got up early---lots of time, my body does not like to sleep,,,,,,,tomorrow.....

did it happen for

did it happen for a purpose? This morning received an interesting offer from DOE to work at a shcool on Amersterdam Avenue---two of my old students are there---but did not take it--again, seem unable to enter into a contract with a school that I don't know, meanwhile the schools that I would like to work in (Bard, 163) never seem to contact me. Got up at 1:30---nervous, but actually discovered two solid poems for John B's class next week at Friends--god, that is going to be fun! So I accoomplished something---then, comfortable with no work---read the very end of Roth's Exit Ghost, was blown away by it----totally stopped in my tracks by its brilliance, insight, etc. What after this?...Well, will continue to South Fourth to check in on Matty, who seems to have fallen into a terrible situation with his roommate. Then possibly to see Rachel's painatings at the exhibit in West Chelsea, or maybe both---not quite sure---this evening, who can say...?

Thursday---another

another day with no work----pretty good school called me last night, but still hoping for Friends, no dice, don't expect to work there tomorrow, will wait for calls before Sheila comes to clean tonight---see what is available, very little, it seems, in the morning----went to B and Nobles, got book for Jessie---rest of the day, well I could go to Rachel's exhibit on W. 25 street, but may be too tired---other pre-5:00 options, not sure---guess when Sheila arrives, I will head for South Fourth---really should congradulate myself re no credit card spending---what that means later in the year, we shall find out..............

wednesday.....

hoped that I would be called to work at Friends, today, wasn't.....took a lot of calls from DOE, actually from some good schools, for today---yet I could not accept any---was nervous about combining a new situation with tutoring inthe evening, and wanted to see if there was any work at Friends, but...so the day is free--woke up at 1A.M., was very restless, that is another reason for not accepting work---thought Iwould be too tired, but at this moment, I feel pretty full of life, maybe I just needed another break---still, would like to solve this problem----if I need to take a job in a city school because of a break at Friends, shouldn't be a heavy crisis...well, this has a few weeks to be resolved.....
Roth's book, really evokes feelings in me---covers a lot of ground, deeply---my own vision of life---where does it come in--writing about being "outside" of the life course (for want of a better word) that is no security for myself in the form of a pension---while so many others......well, that is what they wanted...and you cityboy.....? wouldn't you like a little security?....perhaps security is more inside...still.....
on other topics, had a really nice talk with cousin Carol yesterday....looking forward to Jesse's botmitzvah Saturday....stay tuned..........

Tuesday....

Yesterday, another good day at Friends, today almost worked there, can't be sure about rest of the week----reading Exit Ghost by Roth, found it, ironically enough, at a library on Washington Avenue in Clinton Hill, it was just sitting there in "fiction"; really impressed with its invention, insight, sense of plot--evocative of a lot of old memories that I am thinking about and experiencing, the book itself may be about memory---not sure about the rest of the day, supposed to be snowing heaily this afternoon, does this mean I stay home---should pick up some records here, Film Forum has The Group, but somehow, the closer I get to it, the less appetizing it appears---lincoln center has Derzu Urzala---probably perfect on that screen--but still not sure, ofcourse, one could get into any play this evening---but.....yesterday went to Heights Cafe, after Friends basketball game at Packer, didn't see anyone I knew, and had a decidedly ovepriced salad---a "mistake", maybe, but wanted to do it...that is all now....

saturday...

so we did tutor Wednesday evening, a really good session with Lena,not an easy student to work with, but, you brought it off, Thursday and Friday, lots of classes at Friends, lots of good feelings, but still no work for next week---then got the call this morning----Brandon has a home teacher, which means "probably" much less work for me with him---put some pressure on me financially, although not momentarily---plenty of time to correct, if I really want to---might have to "slum" a little in the public schools--but no tutoring on Sunday opens a few things up, there are good good possibilities at Barbes and at Stain tomorrow evening, which I could not do with the tutoring, ofcourse, it is supposed to be freezing tomorrow, which definitely enters into the situtation---what about some movies---remember them?.... Well, it is all about NY with its infinite possibilities, right? And soon wewill be at South Fourth...........

back at friends.....

Quiet day today...all of a sudden hit by "tired" bug--wonder if I have to tutor this evening---yesterday, continue to value my good fortune by the friends I am making at South Fourth....really nice and responsive people---sometimes I don't realize that by not taking work, I make it possible to have a fuller time in the evening---for the five days that I worked last week, I did practically nothing in the evenings-----interesting how I sometimes have very little desire for contact---willing to wait for next moment, or for the next day---well, two days of lots of work tomorrow and Friday...then we will see........

did not work....

that's the lead, that is the fact---and even though there is much work for me towards the end of the week, today is one of those "everything is going wrong days"---hey, cityboy, maybe you are exaggerating a bit. After all, the day has not been without its interesting moments. True, the lack of structure is frustrating, and I think that by now, basically you miss the kids when you aren't there, but let's look at what we HAVE done--laundry; an e-mail letter to Governor Spitzer---a five dollar gift to a high school classmate and a memory of Lunt and Fontanne in the Visit (1958) That is not really so bad, frustrated, I know by not hearing the WSS interviews, but tonight the party for Seven Devils, which should mean some fun (we hope) interaction.
Hummus time 12:00, I walk on Broadway past 114 Street, who do I see but high school classmate Geoffrey Heyworth--he speaks to me on the phone from time to time: I don't have to call to him, but out of compassion I do, I see him from the back, call out "Geoffrey!" he turns around---I see his face for the first time, it looks like a hideous, inflated mask of his normal ageing face--do not expect much coherency, but when I ask him how he is, he tells me "awful" and asks me for $10.00---just when I am complimenting myself on saving money---but I feel compassionate---after all, Goeffrey is one of the "briliant" boys of Bx. Science class of 60, who burnt out after his four years at Harvard, and has wandered the streets of Broadway 110-116 ever since (granted he is a good sculptor, as well)---so I reach in my wallet and give him $5.00.
No regret at all, after all, how bad can you feel giving charity to a classmate who constantly looked down on you when you both were seniors. (We got reaquainted about 25 years later, and since then he has always acknowledged me)...well, got that out.....now, party to follow......

yesterday and.....

Thankfully, my instinct turned out to be good---Walkiure sounded dull, dull, dull first act, atleast Maazel's conducting....second Act ,heard most, got good insight into Fricka's scenee, didn't realize how much singing and time were involved...anyway, left right before Act II ended, got to South fourth, pleasantly surprised at how much I enjoyed myself for a few hours---playing with three and a half year old Finn, kind of fun......today just tutored, amazing how quiet the city seems, subways and busses are much less full---anyway, will then head up soon to Alvin's party---tomorrow still no work, but the last three days will be very busy..

Saturday.....

A few feet away from me...at Licoln Center Library---the met is doing Die Walkiure---box office looked kind of empty---still decided to listen to it, or atleast most of the first two acts, on the radioi at home----why? Strange feeling of too much closeness to the true material-----need the distance---but remember, this is where you met Pat a little over 40 (yes 40!) years ago---afraid to recreate...? Had my fifth day at Friends Friday, exhausting, but a lot of fun, or whatever...really feel close to the kids...wonder if it is necessary to do any subbing at other schoools....anyway, no work for Monday or Tuesday, is that to the good? Do I need a few days to regain my strength? Ratner wins another court case---disturbing--so much blatant aggrandizing, how can one feel good about the city...any yet...what happens after the opera...who knows.....Alvin's party is tomorrow.........