Return to WIlliamsburg....

 Yesterday afternoon---a free day---promised myself I would visit my friend Bob's bar, on Avenue C and ninth--did so, after spending an about an hour at the Drama Bookstore--very crowded, could not find a place to sit down--nevertheless browsed all of that time,  and promised myself to return and read some plays. Want to read Adrienne Kennedy's Ohio State Murders and for some reason seem attracted to the plays of Stephen Levenson--the screen writer who did a terrific job on Tick Tick Boom. Then off to Bobby's---the mild air of yesterday seemed easy to negotiate---stayed for about an hour---very quiet around 3 in the afternoon---just relaxed looking at the sports program (no game) on the large TV---Bob and his girl friend Megan arrived a little later, and I "hung" with them. What next? Still had plenty of time for a movie---fought with myself but challenged myself to navigate Bedford Avenue---the main drag of Williamsburg closest to Manhattan. So jumped on the L train one stop east and there I was. Subway was packed---arrived on Bedford and North 7th---seemed like hordes of people coming and going on the street. Almost trampled. Moved south---starving---able to grab a pizza slice at Whole Foods--then continued south to Grand Street---the dividing line between north and south Williamsburg, but at this point, not much else. That part of Williamsburg has completely morphed into a "white playground"---I suppose not much different from my last trips in 2019, but still shocked at the self important energy of the people on the street. 

After Grand, the streets were quieter---figured  I would walk south to South Fourth and then right to Berry--the path I had taken so oftern as I went to South fourth from 07 to its closing in 18, Terrible sense of familiarity as I thought of the trip---almost like returning home. Between Grand and South fourth, lots of bars--more then before---and speciality restaurants. Finally made the right turn. Passed a new bar--Keg and Lantern in the middle of the street---looked like somewhere I might like to go---the proceeded to the corner of south fourth and Berry where the coffee shop---bar used to be. Now another bar-restaurant---not a coffee place---but closed. Contiued south on Berry---some old stores amidst the new luxury high rises that seem to dominate the area--but Bembe and East River bars, seemed to have survived. Now to the subway on Marcy Avenue and Broadway and a return home. M train seemed to wait forever before stopping at Delancey Street---some glitches on the way back to my apartment on the upper west side, but persevered and made it. Body exhausted--two portions of vanilla yogurt with cookie dough, my reward for the long journey. Fell asleep quickly, around 8 P.M.

My longest journey since the pandemic and my illness diagnosis. Looking at it now---at 4:30 the next morning, somewhat amazed by its length and "vision". I promised myself on the train, as it left the Marcy Avenue Station, that this summer, as my work load decreased, I would take many more. "A Passion for Travel! as cityboy desires to explore every corner of the city! Do I? 

 Almost five A.M.---need some coffee---none in the apartment. Will go to the grocery soon. Today I fulfill my promise to see The Sign in Sidney Brustein's Window at BAM. Nothing to do before that---will try to "husband " my energy--mostly stay around the apartment. Tomorow at least 3 sessions as life returns to normal. I remember the play's struggle to stay alive in 64; I did not see it then but read it this summer--kind of awed by its totally explosive passion--a playwright's hunger to let go---will see how this  production is faithful to that vision. will report soon.

burned out....

 after 11 sessions this week and more to come. Yes, i am very fond of the children whom I tutor, but it seems like I have nothing else in my life. True?  We will see--not sure if I will be teaching today or not---waiting to hear from a parent---but it does not matter. Ironically, as I imagined a day with no sessions, I could not come to terms with what I should do. Lots of theater choices---or I could hang out at my friend's bar in the deptths of the east village. But what will free me? Don't know. Anyway some sense of relief because Friday is a pretty easy day---teaching or not---just wait to see what happens.

Finished the Mike Nichols biography. Money and ostentatiousness---had to always have "the best"---went to "hot" restaurants even as his health was failing.  Nice focus on his last production of Death of a Salesman which starred the late (and great) Philip Seymour Hoffman. Did not see it---have not seen a production of the play since I saw the one starring Dustin Hoffman in 84. Three productions were available to me since then, including the one that just closed that starred Wendell Pierce. Why have I avoided these productions---I know the play so well, and have so many thoughts about it. Oh yes, did see a summer production with a mixed cast which my friend Michael directed around the early teens. Liked that---actors changed roles, which was interesting and perhaps distracted me from some of the depth of the play if performed normally. About two days ago, had a long talk with myself about the play's meaning and how it related to my own family. Like Willy Loman, my father, who was generally sucessful in his work and life also deep down inside "did not know who he was". That uncertainty was like an undercurrent in our relationship as I was growing up. He definitely wanted me to be "successful"--since I was a high achiever as a child, I am sure he hoped I would be a successful lawyer or college professor, or something like that. A liberal and compassionate existence, but also a "safe" one. So, of course, that did not happen--he was disappointed when I left Yale School of Drama, even if intellectually he understood it was not a productive place. Of course that "safe" vision that he desired of me was sabotaged by his own passion for theater--he started taking me to plays and musicals at a young age, and it was there that i became entranced with the dreamers--the ones always trying to figure things out. His boundaries were perfect---he wanted mine to be the same and when they were not he was very disappointed. So there you go

Wow! That was heavy---well nice to get it off my chest, I guess. Now to return to the "normal" part of my daily life---go to the nearest web site dealing with city happenings, and try to figure that out. Will report soon.

Quite a day.....

 yesterday---it began with a trip to my adult student in Jackson Heights, around 10---a good work session---Jorge, my student's name, is easy to work with and the math problems we encounter are challenging. After that---off to a matinee (I very rarely plan them now) at TFANA---a well known not for profit theater right near Brooklyn Academny of Music. The event was a "Shakespeare workshop" of Henry IV part 1; an event that seemed fascinating in its conception and in my thoughts, but turned out to be viciously incompetent and indulgent. Don't get me started---I could go on forever---but just to throw one annoyance out---total lack of vision from the director (he is somewhat respected) and a cast of actors and actresses, only a few who were competent to perform the material. Still, just from listening, the brilliance of the text---the way it digs into the royal characters and humanizes them is astounding. On Saturday I began to read Marlowe's Tamburlaine in the library---some brilliant stuff in it--but it does not come near the human inciveness that I found in the text of the two  Henrys yesterday. 

Return to tutoring today---have a long week with either two or three daily sessions. The snow canceled my sessions on Saturday---not the greatest---but gave me a chance to go to the Lincoln Center library and begin reading Tamburlaine---very stimulating. Also, that evening---as the cold was subsiding---went to the Geffen lobby where the Philharmonic plays, and watched and listened (for free) to a wonderful performance of Berlioz' Symphony Fantastique, conducted by Herbert Blomstadt. Being able to watch the concert for free in the lobby, while sipping on some coffee (very good, by the way) and sitting by myself, is great---finally a not for profit that gives back to the people of the city, who would prefer this "loose" way of watching a concert, and feel good that they are conserving money.

Last Sunday I did go down to my friend's bar--a nice experience---once agin made to feel very welcome. For tthe pro football playoffs, the place was packed---but somehow did not feel annoyed by that---everyone was very friendly and courteous as we jostled for space. I think the next time I can be there is next Sunday---Superbowl Sunday---the place should be packed again, but I will visit. Actually I will be free much earlier, so may go there right after tutoring; in that case the bar should be far more quiet, as it prepares for the beginning of the game (around 6:30).

In closing I would like to say that yesterday was "momentous"---I left the apartment around 9 in the morning, and did not return until around 7---this is the longest I have been out of the apartment since my illness was diagnosed, and though I was run down by the end, I was able to get through it--might mean I can be a little less "protective" as I plan my outings in the future.