September 27, a "famous" day....

 That is because 65 years ago, West Side Story, opened at the Winter Garden. Today, at 54 Downstairs, there is a Bernstein celebration---some of his known and unknown music will be played, plus Chita Rivera will come in to celebrate the musical in which she originated the role of Anita. Could have chosen to go---I had great times at the 50th and 60th reunion---but decided not to. Why---maybe just a little super saturated with the past---even the West Side story one. 

Flashback memory: a Friday, September 28, 1957---like today, a Jewish holiday, I, a sophmore at Bronx Science, my first year there am home. My father, was, for some reason in Manhattan today (we live in the Bronx) and on his travels, passed by the West Side Story stage door. He saw one of the dancers outside talking to a friend: "We took eighteen curtain calls yesterday," the dancer is saying.  Wow! That memory sears inside of me. Still, as I listen to my dad, I am unable to visualize what might have been going on on that stage, that merited that kind of response. Of course, the family---my brother David, my mom and dad, already have our tickets for the Saturday matinee before Thanksgiving---I will find out then what the dancer was describing, and carry it forward for all these years. 

Sophmore year at Bronx Science, a strange and well defined year, my first year of High School, the first thing to understand about it was that, along with ten other sophmore classes and two freshman classes, we were consigned to the Bronx High School of Science Annex, which was located on the two top floors of a public school about six blocks east of the main building. The latter, which we would leave in March of 59 could simply not hold all the incoming students, and so the classes I mentioned were sent to have their first year at the Annex, along with a set of teachers who taught the classes there. Each sophmore class traveled as a class---no individual programs, and so socially those were probably the only members of the class one could get to know. The true world of Bronx Science, which lived in the main building was unknown to us. Occasionally we would get invited to a class dance or other class event, but there, I felt cut off-none of my main building classmates seemed remotely interested in interacting with me. Some good friendships were made out of that first year of traveling together, but looking back on it, I feel it robbed us of any real high school experience, The next year, as a Junior in the main building, traveling as a student with an individual program, the world seemed frenetic--images of students of all classes jumping out at me, as I crossed from one room to another. And then the integration into our classes of students who lived in Manhattan--what an amazing experience I thought that must be. In my mind, they immediately became "different"-somewhat fascinating -navigating a world that seemed so much more diverse and dangerous then my calm, insular neighborhood in the Bronx. The upper west side, where many of them were from. was known to have "dangerous" blocks. What, I wondered, must it be like to navigate the streets every day? And, of course, the new women of the class whom I met. Would they talk to me? Could anything happen with one of them. The year went on, in March we left the main building behind forever and moved about a mile north to our new building. There, I was to find out, just what the world of women of my class would offer me. But that is another "adventure". Maybe another time. 

The early evening continues---I try to figure out what will make it interesting---will report soon.

Sunday morning, approaching 6 A.M.

 Already have walked four blocks to get coffee from the all night grocery store on West End and 72nd. Body feeling incredibly strong. Yesterday just the opposite: all day torpor, not a lot of energy; stayed home in the evening, even though I had many choices. Maybe I just needed a day. Four days tutoring this week-feel very good about my work there---energy between myself and each individual child is very strong. Yet on days when I am free----problems figuring out what to do---how to spend the day. Energy issues---of course---usually can plan for one event per day if I am free. Two more days (as of now) until the next set of tutoring begins. Lots of time to fill. 

Yesterday, finished, Fire In the Blood, the novel that I had been reading by Irene Nemirovsky; it takes place in an isolated town in the countryside of France, around the mid nineteen thirties. Beautiful writing, with a narrative that takes an unexpected turn and astonished me. At the climax, the central female character makes a statement to her husband that hit home to me. She describes an earlier affair, an affair he did not know about as if it happened to another person. Now, she tells her husband, she has shut that person off. But has she? The narrator wonders. This hit home--how many women in my life have gone on to be "other people" and moved completely out of my existence. Hard to write about--yet the novel articulates something that I had been trying to come to terAms with for a long time. 

New book that I have just started: The Fifth Act, by Elliott Ackerman, about the frightening withdrawal of American troops from Afghanistan, and the humanitarian attempts by the author and others to get those that helped the Americans during their time there, out of the country. A whole different world from Ms. Nemirovsky's; here is a world where personal feelings about love and abandonment are irrelevant--it is all about the practical. Am not deep into it; very intense---what the author describes is very frightening;  have to read something "lighter" to counter the rage and helplessness reading about the evacuation makes me feel. 

So that is it for now. Body feeling really mellow---let's see if it lasts through the day....

the birthday returns.....

 somewhat muted--just a quiet, non structured day before the week of tutoting begins. No plans, as of yet--desperately need a hair cut, so that will probably happen this morning. Yesterday went to the Film Forum to see Hitchcock's Strangers On a Train. I had seen it once before probably about 50 years ago. Anb amazing movie---at this point there are probably about 10 movies at Film Forum that I could lose myself in--yet strangely enough the force that I felt from Strangers seems so strong, that I want to wait before I see another movie again. Which leaves what...? Well, a lot depends on my energy process--whether I feel strong enough to leave the neighborhood in the evening. On Thursday last I had my first dose of a new and stronger medication---there have been some effects, but nothing preventing me from normal functioning. Nevertheless, that plus the chemo pills could slow me down by the evening. If not....I think about going out to Bushwick to visit Cobra Club or the Starr Bar, or Molasses book store for that matter, but the concept of taking the L into Brooklyn (not really a long trip from the upper west side) sometimes seems too difficult. The few times I have been to Bushwick since the pandemic and the illness, there have been planned events that I can set myself too. So there you go. 

What else...? Memories, of course, are with me constantly but not one that comes to me now that I feel I can write about. I have started to read a novel called Fire In the Blood, and the writing is really briliant. The author is Irene Nemirovsky, the French novelist of the thirties who was killed at Auchwitz during World War II. During the pandemic I read her earlier novel Suite Francaise, about wealthy french citizens leaving Paris as the Nazis approached. This novel is stylistically very different---written quite before Suite Francaise--a very gentle and reflective narrator at the heart of it. I have just read the first three chapters, but certainly I will continue today, at whatever bookstore or coffee place that I visit later. Maybe also a visit to Lincoln Center's Theater Library---just finished The Spanish Tragedy, authorship given to Thomas Kyd---now might be time to re read some Marlowe---I think Edward II is next. Good way of spending time in the afternoon. For the rest,,? Well we will see---maybe a post tomorrow will reveal all.

Saturday evening, a day later...

 Everything has stopped. Tired, but will report today. Plan: to go to IFC center and pay $3.00 to see As Tears Go By, by Hong Kai War (I think) at 12:45. Arrived at theater only to find a large crowd standing outside, and to be informed that the movie I wanted to see was sold out. Amazing! The $3.00 catch seemed to have brought everybody out. So what to do? Return home---not so hot. Go out to Brooklyn---better. Actually I had a second choice, at BAM one of their screens was showing Bells Are Ringing, a movie adaptation of the successful musical from the late 50's. I remember the first time I saw it, right after my graduation ceremony from Bronx Science in June of 60. Not in a great mood then---I enjoyed the movie---I was familiar with it since in March of 57 I had seen the musical on stage. Jerome Robbins directed and choreographed it, and this was his last project before West Side Story.  Very zippy, lots of fun. I arrived at BAM and had no trouble getting a ticket--unlike the IFC center, there were some people taking advantage of the $3.00 charge, but nothing like the tremendous crowd at IFC. 

To my surprise, the movie was quite wonderful. Judy Holliday, who both the show and the movie were created for, was totally unique. The movie has a simple plot that moves nicely towards its conclusion; rather then just enjoying it, I found myself very moved in places. Why? Did it bring back memories of being 13 and a  half and watching the play from the second balcony of the Schubert theater in March of 57? Can't say, but I left the theater feeling very fulfilled. Stopped off at the Fiction Center across the street from BAM and read a bit, then returned home, kind of tired. A feeling of completion that I felt good about. 

Two additions: 1, as I walked around the village getting to the IFC center, I was stunned by the number of young people eating brunch in several outdoor restaurants that I passed, as I traveled from Sheridan Square to sixth avenue. These brunches must easily cost at least $40.00 per person; about 90 percent of the people I saw were between 20 and 40. Where do they get all that money? Lots of couples. This still amazes me. 2. Last night saw a totally different movie at the Bunin at Lincoln Center: Red, the third part of a trilogy of movies by Polish Filmmaker --------------------------------------------. Harsh, intense, beautifully filmed---amazing to look at--had me totally involved. A young women accidentally meets an elderly man who is totally isolated and their contact somehow is able to restore his ability to empathize. Again, glad that I experienced it.

Tomorrow: my choice--thinking of going to Bushwick in the late afternoon and stopping by Cobra Club to see if I can enter some interesting conversations. Also, have not been to Starr Bar, another of my favorite "haunts" in that area---where I was always treated very nicely. One possibility--a lot will depend on my energy level---though, if I have a need to be somewhere, my body usually cooperates and lets me go. We shall see.....

can it be three weeks....

 since my last post. Well, that is understandable--lots has happened. But actually I wanted to begin this post with the title:: "Formless Weekend" After a week structured around tutoring I face four days with no plans at all---can do as I want--the city in front of me--of course, tempered by the effect my medication has on my body. Can't explain why the almost three week break---still, I awoke today filled with memories, thoughts of women I knew and desired in college who I see on the street now struggling to push their walkers forward. Can they really be the same people? 

Labor day weekend, always the "end of summer". So what is new? Well, the good: fruitful tutoring sessions with about four students---i really like them a lot--one entering sixth grader desperately in need of sufficient maths skills; trying to get him to be strong in basic fourth and fifth grade math---can't understand how his teachers have passed him---he is trying very hard, should be seeing him every day, but parents can only support this for two day a week, so far. He starts sixth grade next week,, so that may limit us more--will he be able to even begin to comprehend sixth grade word problems? Will see how it plays out. The other good: two theater productions over the past weekend that were excellent, the first, an adaptation of a play from 1585 called Galatea, updated by a playwright  into a mostly gay love story--cast with (i think) mostly trans actors who were extremely creative and loony---every moment, both in the writing and performance, full of surprises. Saw it in a park that has been newly created on the eastern edge of Atlantic Avenue in Brooklyn--an amazing group of luxury apartment houses are just off the park---still, the park is (I assume) for everyone. Beautiful night, everyone out---Atlantic Avenue, post pandemic, between Court Street and the Park, bustling with outdoor restaurants--filled with what seemed to me to be "high end" people, almost all white, enjoying the moment. Never like this before the pandemic. The other play which I saw on Sunday afternoon, was The Nosebleed, by Aya Igawa, at the Tow theater---the small theater in the Beaumont complex in Lincoln Center, that was created to house more "offbeat" work. A strong piece centered around the playwright's attempt to define her father---a cold and withdrawn man-whom she felt was incapable of reaching out to her. Strong moments, especially at the end when the playwright actually creates the image of her father---his rigidity, his coldness right in front of the audience. Performed with great commitment---hard to believe that the playwright-actress creating this vision could recreate it several times a week.  After both plays I was able to hang around and chat with some of the actors and actresses, or just tell them how much I liked their work-I think I had forgotten how much I had enjoyed that simple contact---how much it made me feel part of the whole theater environment. I left both plays feeling very invigorated. 

So, looking ahead, where will I be this weekend? A good movie weekend--tomorrow (Saturday) many theaters in the city are charging three dollar admission for every movie for the whole day. Will I take advantage of it. The ifc center has a Chinese director, whose work I have never seen, but who has always interested me. A chance to see one of his three movies playing at the space. Then, of course, the is "the world", that is Brooklyn with all its places to walk and maybe hang out. And on Monday, I will go to a Memorial for a former bartender-actress who passed away last year---very young---could not have been more then early forties---she really liked me, appreciated that I was supportive of her performances, but she drank heavily---I have a feeling that may have caused her early death. Really surprised to her of this--just got an email yesterday from her acting partner. I definitely plan to go---to pay my respects, and also touch base with others who knew her. She had a beautiful open spirit-I followed her from bar in Manhattan to bar in Brooklyn. Will see how it plays out. 

That should be all by now--will report (I hope) sooner then three weeks.