so it is over.....

the world as I knew it. In survival mode now---traying to be as rational as possible as we move through all of this. I am an 'outdoor animal"---staying in is not conducive to me. I have several books that interest me to read. But I wish we were given an "end date" or something like that. Can't stay on the computer much longer because I am paying for it Will continue when I can.

so it is over....

my theater going adventures, at least for a while. Wow! For the first time in my life since I was 6, I will not have any theater going to think about. It is a strange time---almost surreal, as I try to figure out my day, and my options, in the face of all the entertainment that has been for so long a part of my life, and is now not available. Yes, most movie theaters are open, and I will go to some, but for me, movies leave me detached---unlike theater where I feel part of the community that is creating the work. But all the theaters---large and small---have closed,save possibly for Dixon Place which (if it stays open) might have some interesting projects in the next few weeks.
  Yesterday evening, after leaving La Flaca, walked around the city for a bit---moving from Clinton and Grand to the Angelica on Houston and Broadway, and later over to the Film Forum. A quietness pervaded the city---streets were mostly empty. Today, another "free day"''after this I will probably head to the Fiction Center and read a while, before deciding what my next move will be.
  Metrograph is showing two movies that I saw at two different and very well defined times in my past. Red Desert, by Antonioni---saw it twice in March 65, as I was leaving Yale and my life of the past few years was falling apart around me. The second, Persona, by Bergman, I saw in fall of 75, with the woman that I was then dating named Nancy---my life was pretty focused and satisfied at that time. However that would change soon as well. Do I want to see either movie again..? Will it mean getting in touch with the memories from that time rather then enjoying the film?  An interesting dilemma.
  Before writing this blog, went to the web site that has my Yearbook from Bronx High School of Science. Always, I go through the individual pictures, each of which has the graduate's address. If that address is around the Concourse or its vicinity, I usually go to google maps and look at the apartment houses. Of course they bring back memories, of a Bronx that was all white and mostly middle class. But how do I incorporate those memories and feelings with my vision of what the area is like now. The change, from an all white to an all black and Hispanic neighborhood for me was drastic. But there are good people living there now--why do I...? What do I want to do...? Turn back time...? Impossible
  All right, time to let it go, time to make use of this weather which, by the end of the day will be in the high 60's. Will report soon.

bewitched, bothered and bewildered

about how to spend the day, and the whole virus situation as well. What is happening with the theaters? On the blogs, there is great alarm. For myself, I can't see it. I still feel comfortable attending a play in a large (or, as usual in my case) small theater. I guess its just a "wait and see" situation. And what about movie theaters? I intend to go to some of them during this vacation. Nothing to do, I suppose, but wait it out.
  Tonight, may head to Brooklyn to see a play in Sunset Park, first stopping at a friend's opening at the Brooklyn Navy Yard (a long way from Sunset Park). Yesterday two good sessions---will continue on Saturday---I don't expect any of them to be canceled. Afterwards, kept my promise to myself. Did not go straight home---instead visited Lansdowne Road, the bar on 10th and 44th, where I watched some basketball, had a nice salad, and visited with Mel, my server-actress friend. She was glad to see me--I have a  nice bond with her. She is getting married in June---seems comfortable with it, I have not met her fiance. Returned home in a much better state.
  Is my vision of theater going changing? Somehow I can't feel as excited as I did even a year ago. I know there are really interesting pieces that I could see, but in my head, I have already seen them. I can't find the urgency that I have previously felt---still, I am scheduled to see a musical on Saturday, and do want to go to Brooklyn to see GNIT next week (if the theater remains opened) . City Center's Encores is presenting Love Life, the little known collaboration between Alan Jay Lerner and Kurt Weill---that is next week, and I really feel I have to see that. Nothing to do but to take things one day at a time (or really one hour at a time).
That is the report for today--will report soon.

nothing much to report since...

yesterday. I did my sessions, then returned home to find myself a little sleepier then I expected. So I stayed in with low energy. Not a great idea, but it had to happen.I have probably two sessions, today. I promise myself, no matter what, go out and do something after the last one. Meanwhile, lots of discussion re the virus. From one of the blogs I read, people are staying home from the theater. But I expect to go---to live my life without change. I don't feel the need to stay away from people at this point.
  I returned the book of Cheever Short Stories to the library yesterday. The man is a marvel! The short stories are pungent, witty, sharp and again not a word is wasted. He really knew how to zero in on his people. Last week I enjoyed the Updike short stories, but Cheever's are sharper. Will miss them, hope I get another chance to take out the book.
  Currently not reading anything. Still shying away from the "heavy" stuff like a Faulkner novel (I have been promising myself to read one of them for a long time), or perhaps, War and Peace. But yesterday, in two libraries, I was not able to find one book that I really wanted to read. What is that about..?
  I think that is all for now. Will report soon, let's see if I keep my promise to myself and do something interesting, out of the apartment, this evening.

two nights, so different...

Sunday evening--returned home from a day in which I seemed to circumnavigate Brooklyn, or parts of it, to prepare for the long week ahead. Did not sleep well--got up at several intervals, thought about getting through the week with the four days at Friends and the sessions as well. It was going to be tough Lots of head energy, but no sleeping. . Arrived at Friends at 7:30, even though I did not have a class for two hours. A little later I got a text: subs were not being hired for the week. But here I was. Was I free? I walked down to the lower school office where the secretary, who had sent the text, was. She and the lower school chairman agreed that since I was already in the building I could take the classes. So I stayed for the day. But my other commitments for the week have, at this point been canceled. Much relieved, now I had a little time on my hands. To be frank, I was exhausted from my heavy schedule. I did my sessions yesterday afternoon then returned home. By 7, I was asleep. It was a deep, deep sleep, actually, until 6 this morning. Such a relief! I don't think my body moved once during that sleep. Yes, I was up a few times, but the calm in my body, compared to the night before, was palpable.
  So now my vacation begins a week earlier. That means, hopefully, some time in the evening to circulate or check out some plays or movies.
  Saturday night---rejected any theater options---too tired, but did go to the Film Forum to see Sorry We Missed You, an intense picture of working class Britain by Ken Loach. Very well done, totally realistic acting, it is about a family of four trying hard to make ends meet, but both working spouses are exploited by the bosses. All sorts of stresses and problems ensue. I loved the reality of the film, its toughness is real, but I did feel that Loach piled on too many problems---I felt he overloaded the dilemmas  the family faced. But I remember the film's reality.
  Sunday: Brooklyn, first the Fiction Center to say hi to Lynna, one of the baristas there with whom I have become friendly. Then off on the DeKalb avenue bus to Bushwick and Cobra; I stayed there for about three hours---waded through a boring exhibition baseball game---they are really frustrating to watch---and then left. But where to? Stopped off at Molasses, the bookstore nearby and said hello to nine month old Tuli, and his parents, the owners of the bookstore. Wandered down to Broadway, finally decided to take the 46 bus, that travels south on Malcolm X (later Utica Avenue) Brooklyn. Went through all the Bed-Stuy streets to Fulton, and then decided to stay on the Eastern Parkway, about another 10 blocks south. A nice day made me not want to get into the subway, but at the same time, I did not want to travel further south--so I got on the 3 and took it to the Brooklyn museum. Used the very untilitarian mens room there, and then returned to the Gotham Center, a block away from the Fiction Bookstore. watched some basketball and had a nice salad, then returned home, but a sugar fit made me stop at the Starbucks on Montague Street in Brooklyn Heights. Never again! What a dirty place! Probably one of the things that kept me up all night after.
  So that is the story of the weekend and after. At this moment, feeling relaxed about all the unstructured time ahead of me. Will report soon.

Here we are again...

after two days of work---and I already have four days scheduled for next week. Then the vacation! But the sessions will still continue, and there will be a lot of them.
  Yesterday got off around 2:15, then had to be back at Friends for a Dance Concert at 6. How to spend the four hours in between. Time for a movie: Rebecca, by Hitchcock at the Film Forum. I have seen many movies by Hitchcock but never this one. Good plot, some times watching it I felt kind of "stickly"--maybe the whole thing seemed a little bit out of touch, but one can only marvel at the direction and cinematography. It still sticks in the mind. Occasionally the camera stays on the close up of a face a little too long---and then the face changes. Really remarkable! Can't say it was unforgettable, but it was a decent way of filling up structure between leaving Friends and returning for the Dance Concert.
  That featured some really strong  dancing from many of the students that I know. Nice to see them functioning in a surprising and different world. Also, I am reading some short stories by John Updike. They are sharp, focused, and very telling. I have never been able to get through one of his novels, but these short stories are all little novels by themselves. Will continue to read for a while.
  This night we turn the clock forward. Good! I have been waiting for this moment since we turned the clocks back. I always feel I am one hour too early, especially when I get up in the morning. So I am really looking forward to the change. Also, tomorrow is supposed to be close to 60. A great day for walking around Brooklyn! Have to stop in at a few places---I have not been at the Fiction Center for a while, and I really miss it. Will stop in tomorrow.
  Tonight not sure, yet. Have narrowed it down to three cultural events. Do I want to go out to Bushwick to see if I can get into the theater project at the Bushwick Starr. Will have to go early and get on the waiting list---always annoying, but I have not been to the Starr in quite a while. Then there is a one woman play at the Tank called Birthday in the Bronx---I always try to check out Bronx themed work---but I don't know the people involved. Could be meaningful or indulgent---it is closing tomorrow, so tonight would, in theory be my only chance.
  Then the Philharmonic has an interesting evening chosen: Debussy, Ravel and Scriabin---the Times review made me want to experience it. If I decide to go, will try to get a senior discount, around $22.00. Of course, I might just want to "hang out" at La Flaca, or the restaurant at the Gotham Center in Brooklyn, or somewhere else. It would be nice just to be around people and watch some basketball.
  At any rate, I will report soon, then we will find out where I went and what happened.

every odd day.....

tiredness seems to set in. That was the case with yesterday---i had one session, then returned to the apartment---rest of the afternoon-evening was spent resting---and figuring out what was happening to my stomach. I had lamb over rice for lunch yesterday--it is a large portion, probably too large for me now, but I ate it anyway. Did not feel signs of discomfort until I hit the library at 160th street. I did feel tired before I left the apartment, and had to stop off at the Grocery Store right off the subway stop at 157th and Broadway. The coffee there is very good. The lamb over rice meal took a heavy toll on my stomach, and while I was not sleeping yesterday, I was dealing with its after effects. Finally, things calmed down, and my stomach relaxed--much to my surprise. With the exception of a Vanilla Protein shake and some very good ice tea (I should drink more of it) there was no more in take into my stomach for the evening. Finally, today, by the time that I got my morning coffee, I was pretty hungry---i bought an expensive cheese danish which was very good, but even now is still in the throes of digestion. How careful do I have to be?
  Today, at least two sessions, maybe more--and then for the next four days will be at Friends. Good! Love the structure it provides. Will also go to a Dancers Against AIDS concert given by the school on Friday night. As for the weekend--still uncertain,again the energy factor will really define what I do.
  Next week will be the last week before Friends' Spring Vacation. That means two weeks of just the sessions, how I hope to be out every night, moving around the city---but can I? That is the question---will report soon.

Friday was not so great!

All my energy dissipated by 2 P.M.  I spent the rest of the day around the apartment---I did manage to go out in the evening for a pizza slice and the spent about a half hour in a bar on 80th and Amsterdam. Not a great place, but the owner walked over to me and chatted with me for about 15 minutes--I appreciated that and the bartender is a nice guy too.
  Saturday, too busy to make an entry---in the evening I went to see Suicide Forest, a theater piece by Haruna Lee, a friend of mine. I had seen this piece before, last year at the Bushwick Starr---I went to see it again out of a sense of friendship for Haruna, but I am glad that I did. The piece is stronger now, and more meaningful. I felt more connected to it watching it, also felt good being in a theater to experience a play---it had been about two weeks since the last time (a long time for me) and just absorbing the energy of the place was fulfilling. The cast, all Asian actors were very strong---somehow in the A.R.T. theater, the technical aspects of the play seemed stronger. Afterwards. really starving, I walked from the theater on 53rd and 10th to Lansdowne Road, the sports bar I frequent on 44th and 10th. A long walk in the cold---the bar was not particularly crowded. Against my better judgement I ordered chicken wings---I now try to stay away from cooked foods, but my hunger was really apparent. The wings were good, but I paid for it on Sunday, when my stomach took a long time to recover. Sunday I rejected the idea of visiting Cobra Club and my bartender friend Olivia---did not think I had enough strength to get out there, so stayed around the house until around 2, when I took the subway to the Quad to see the movie Cane River. This is a movie that was all but lost after it was made in 1982, due to the death of its director-writer Horace Jenkins. It was re-discovered and restored---and this is its first run. The first 30 minutes of the film are truly beautiful--an amazing amalgam of visual beauty and corresponding sound. The rest of the movie does not quite live up to that, but it is still very good. Jenkins was a black film maker, documentary maker and producer and Cane River's story is about a young Creole man, living in a small town about 3 hours from New Orleans, and his love affair with a black woman whom he meets when visiting a restored southern estate. Her mother is very possessive and does not like the idea of her daughter considering marriange to a Creole. Problems ensue, but all is worked out in the end.
  I liked the movie--but still, seeing a movie is not nearly as meaningful to me as seeing a play.I even liked sitting in the theater that the movie was being shown in---the newly restored Quad Cinema---it is kind of womb like, which I needed on Sunday---also in their small bar they make a great cappucino---nevertheless something for me is lacking when I see a movie. The rest of the day was spent back in the apartment, resting---I had a full day at Friends and two sessions on Monday. They came out reasonably well.
  That will be all for now---should report soon.