interesting day today....

First day of the baseball season always dominates the moment. I can remember the first time I ever observed opening day. Believe it or not, April 1951. Yes, that long ago. I arrived home from school, turned on the TV, and there were the Dodgers and Phillies (Inning 7) and the Yankees and Red Sox (inning 3). That's because the Yankees started at 2:30 and the Dodgers an hour earlier. How excited I was---I was dreaming of this day all during spring training of that year. My first year as a baseball enthusiast---I knew all the lineups, standings, etc---only 16 teams then. I think I must have gone to either the stadium of Polo Grounds all in all, about 12 times that year. My dad was very good about taking me, and he was not really a baseball fan. Still can see myself sitting in front of the tv in our living room
 Anyway, today, in addition to above, am meeting a friend for coffee around 2, and then will see the screening of the movie my friend is in this evening. More baseball watching in the bars? Depends on where my stomach is.
 Yesterday night attended The Lehman Trilogy, the much discussed and praised British import from The National Theater. I only stayed for one act---found that act to be very sterile. The script read like history lesson, and the three actors (I really expected a much larger cast) were efficient, but nothing that they did made me want to stay for the next two acts, knowing that they would probably be the only actors performing. Their instruments were simply not meaningful or imaginative enough for me. So I left---thought of stopping in a bar around the armory (67th and Park) but could find nothing around there, even on third avenue. Finally jumped on a Brooklyn bound q and got off at 57th street---hit the Irish bar a little north of the corner, planing to watch some basketball and eat. Ordered some Ravioli; I was starving for some concrete food at that point, and settled in. A man sat down next to me--I could see he was a regular--I engaged him in conversation---his job is to correct concrete problems in apartment houses---and he gave me all the details. A little talky, no basketball watching while our conversation was going on, and finally it was time for me to leave. He insisted on paying my check---a reward for listening to him, I guess---and so I did not pay for my ravioli. Like the bar, I would go back there.
  Time moves forward towards my scheduled colonoscopy. Will I do it? I definitely should, given what is going on in my stomach. What are my alternatives---put it off until Friends is over, so that things will be more "chill"---or not take it at all, and simply allow this discomfort in the stomach to become a chronic problem. I could, it seems to be under control, but why not get it done?
Decisions, decisions, hate to leave it like this, but will report soon.

another difficult night...

with the stomach, though somewhat improved now. Nothing wrong with the rest of me physically, but the problems in the stomach continue. "Can't wait" for the colonoscopy in two weeks, assuming that I can actually get through the prep. Have to be determined to do it--the moment I feel a little better I start playing with the "idea" of putting it off. Still hard to imagine, and I am a slave to my imagination. And who should I ask for support, I who basically operate as an "independent" person.
The time progresses, nothing more to say. Will work it out as I go along.
  Tonight, will see The Lehman Trilogy, even though my ticket is worth a lot of money, but I might as well go, and see what it is. Tomorrow, possibly will see a movie at the New Directors, New Films festival at Lincoln Center---I just found out that a friend of mine has a leading role in one of the movies. Should be interesting.
  Last nigth---after two sessions, stopped off at the new Dive Bar on 106th and Amsterdam---very tired so did not stay a long time---liked the ambiance of the place, very relaxed and laid back with very nice servers. Had a Kale salad and sprite---sat at a table, no really interesting sports was on. Left feeling very tired---my last session person is very rambunctious---and simply headed home.
  Will report on Lehman and othrer things soon.

stomach much improved....

feeling very good this morning--lots of room to think. Still trying to put a human face on the "event" two weeks from today. Would like to find out what is happening there, but at the same time...well you know...it is simply hard to imagine going through this. Well, still a lot of time---can "reach out" and see how it evolves.
  Yesterday before first session walked from 145th street and Broadway to 162nd and Jumel Terrace, a fascinating street in the middle of south Washington Heights. Why do I enjoy walking around the city so much? Always something new to discover. A group of Brownstones that seem to be cut off from the rest of the neighborhood. But were they always? What about during the crack era that effected so much of the surrounding neighborhood? If it weren't so cold today, could walk around more---the cold sort of limits things---well, only a few more days.
  Tonight no plans yet---could possibly, if I am not too tired,  head to south Williamsburg and visit a bar near South fourth where several of my friends from that bar are said to congregate on Tuesday evenings. At least that was the word in the winter---wonder if it has changed now. Would really enjoy talking to Kathy and Harlo, among others. Lots of other choices as well---want to get out of the house--will see if I am refreshed enough after two sessions to go.
  Still holding on to my ticket to The Lehman Trilogy. I think I will go, but the idea of selling the ticket has not left me. Not doing anything to make it happen, though, so let;s see how it evolves. Would not be a terrible idea for me to see it, since that is what I got the ticket for in the first place, right?
  That's all for now, will probably report tomorrow.

Monday morning...

awoke with a lot of gut pain in my stomach. It has since regressed--feeling basically much better---two weeks until day of scheduled colonoscopy preparation. Feel more motivated now, would like very much to know what is going on in my stomach that is causing this problem. Also, good to get all the "gunk" out of my system. But can I do it?  Will need a lot of support--I have contacted a group that gives support to (I hope) all levels of dealing with colonoscopy. Hopefully they may pair me up with a "buddy"---that is what I need, someone to help me through the day---there is something so cold and analytical about the way the colonoscopy vision is handled---I know it is considered good for everybody---but I need a human face on it, not just statements from friends and acquaintances that it is "dooable". Well, hopefully I am closer to dealing with it.
  Thursday--no Philharmonic (no senior tickets) ended up seeing the movie, The Highwaymen, a very skilled feature starring Kevin Costner and Woody Harrelson. Totally a genre movie and yet written and performed and directed in a way that kept my interest completely. Anyone who is studying screenwriting or who desires to be a successful screenwriter should definitely see this movie. I was totally engrossed, even if these characters were ones whom I was acquainted with from past movies.
Saw it at Landmark 57, that strange theater that is all the way west on 57th street--has really comfortable seats and great prints in the small screening room.
  Friday---to Brooklyn in the morning (thank goodness!) hung out a bit at Cobra, touched base with my bartender friend Olivia---then home then back to Brooklyn in the evening, to Jack to see my friend William's play Variations. Similar to most of William's other efforts, this is a dense piece with dialogue that is disconnected from any real sort of narrative. So the play stands or falls on that. Sometimes offputting, but some very evocative moments and some good music statements from William's collaborator Catherine. Very small house--I think it created a much greater sense of intimacy and sharing which the play really needs. As I watched the piece, I could lounge on the platform for spectators, since there was no one near me. Perfect for this play. Two actress friends who are really talented, Kate and Layla were in it, and they really did a great job.
 Stomach starved after it was over---I chose to go to the Pizza place on Fulton near Annex--they make really good pizza, then went home, even though I "toyed" with the possibility of having a beer. Did not need it.
  Saturday, just work and tiredness afterwards. No night existence.
 Yesterday (Sunday) off to LIC to see a work in progress directed by my friend Sarah---an interesting piece about climate change, and what I would call, bourgeois complacency. Some parts obvious, some parts very entertaining--great cast---where will they go with this. Afterwards hit the diner at Court Square for a blt and coffee, then headed to La Flaca, where I watched the Duke-UCF game which UCF came very close to winning. Bartender James was very nice to me--allowed me to watch most of the game with just a coke an later some small guac. Left about 9, instead of going to the subway right away, the body wanted to walk and so I traveled from Grand and Clinton to Grand
and Christie---north on Christie (past an obnoxious smelling development sight) to Houston then over to Broadway--Lafayette quite a walk. Then home.
  Let's see how the day evolves health wise, will probably stay home this evening and will report tomorrow.

So it continues....

last night slept well---first time in a long time--why? because the date for the colonoscopy is settled. Will try to do it---not much more to say---still see a lot of challenges in the day before. But at least the time is defined---maybe I am a little more relaxed about that.
  Yesterday, after the sessions, simply returned home--today at 6 P.M. at the auditorium of the Lincoln Center library there is a presentation that is part of the Jerome Robbins centennial exhibit. It is about "the Papa piece" a theater project that Robbins worked on towards the end of his life, but was never brought to full production. And yet, apparently, lots of information and possible texts of it remain. This presentation will try to reveal what that was---I think that it will probably be sold out, but i will try to get there and either get in, or possibly watch from outside---sometimes they have a screen in the hall way that shows what is happening in the auditorium. For me, perhaps the final "link' in my Robbins vision.After that---well who knows...? I am close enough to where the Philharmonic plays to maybe get a senior rush ticket to the concert there---the musical director conducting Brahms 1st.  Something else...we will see,,lots of basketball to watch today and tomorrow, if one is interested (I am mildly so).
 Will try to pick up my ticket to the Lehman Trilogy after this---still not sure whether I will see it or try to sell the ticket. Like everything else, now, it is up in the air. Will report tomorrow.

Finally, a date....

for the colonoscopy---April 8, a Tuesday, not ideal, because I have a Friends commitment that day (it will be easy to find another person for that) but that is what it is. Met the doctor who will supervise this; Dr Daniel and he turned out to be basically very fair and friendly. That's good. Still wonder if I will be able to get through the day before--may take a lot of work and determination---this gives me about three weeks to see whether my stomach problems will abate, and also means I won't be missing any important sessions.
  One conflict that is unavoidable,, however is that the weekend before is the weekend of the Hopkins reunion. I really wanted to be there---now this may be impossible--need some time to think it over--why did Hopkins have to have this reunion so early in April (the earliest date ever, as far as i can remember)? I hate to disappoint my friend Jeff who is really counting on me to be there, but even if I can get an early train to return to NY, is it realistic to go anyway? And the food issue---another problem. I need a few days to figure this out (a few days to figure everything out) before I make up my mind.
  Last night, stayed home, tired, and stomach was going "bonkers". Not great--hopefully I can be out tonight.
 Nothing else new, as the vacation continues--lots of decisions to make.

nice day...

have already found out their are no senior tickets available for tonight's Philharmonic concert in which my friend Richard Goode is playing the last Mozart piano concerto. Too bad, I would have liked to be there---I always feel a kind of connection and pride when I see Richard playing. And why shouldn't I? I have been watching him play the piano since we were in public school Quite a long time, and he was as brilliant then, as he is now, in his seventies.
  Memory: our class is in a small room with a piano--our teacher Mrs. Hoffman says: "would you like to hear a treat?" She asks Richard to play and he plays (expertly, of course) the Gollywog Cakewalk by Debussy. Really an incredible memory.
  Last night---after two sessions, headed to the Public where Frank, my friend, secured a comp for me to see The Team's latest project entitled Anything That Gives Off Light. A three actor play with a background band--it is a wild and intense ride of visions that move very quickly off each other. Lots of topics re America or capitalism or brought up, but they really are touched, not explored. The three actors are so intense and talented you sometimes forget how frustrating it is to have the content shifted so often. Glad to see my friend Jesse, who does a remarkable job with her role as a West Virginia wife and mother on the run (at least I think that is who she plays). Like Christine's play at the Bushwick Starr which I saw last week, it indulges itself a little too much---it seems comfortable moving from issue to issue and genre to genre without much regard for its audience. Still, the audience that was there last night loved it; the Team has built its own following, I think, and they were there to support the three excellent actors. They go to a bar on 5th street afterwards to hang out, called Scratchers---I decided not to go this time---I was tired, but I might meet them there later in the run. I have never been to Scratchers, should be interesting.
  Tomorrow I get my appointment for the colonoscopy---all well and good---also have to make a decision about the Hopkins Reunion in a little more than two weeks. I would love to go, but the timing is so bad---so many other things are happening---can't decide anything yet; maybe tomorrow will clear things up---will report soon.

Have I finally come to terms with....

the colonoscopy situation? See a doctor on Wednesday who will probably give me an appointment somewhere in the near future. Face it, cityboy, you have got to do it---the facts that you are dealing with on a daily basis prove that. Had a rough night last night after a very tired day, but the energy level is decent now. The point is, that I should try to see this the same way as if I had busted my ankle and I had to have surgery to have it heal. It is a practical experience. Can you confront it this way? I think I am getting closer and closer to seeing the procedure and its day before in that way. Well, let's see what happens Wednesday.
  Tonight will see the Team's project at Joe's Pub, after a few sessions. Still adjusting to the vacation energy---would like to spend some time in Brooklyn---hope that i get the chance.
 Yesterday, the tiredness continued into the evening---stayed home, read, listened to music, rested. Am reading the book about the development and presentation of Angels in America. Some very good statements by the people who participated in the project at different times. Saw Millenium twice, the second New York performance and the last Wednesday matinee. The second time was fascinating---that cast found layers in the writing that I had not seen previously. That was probably because at the second performance, the cast was under so much pressure---they were just using their acting expertise to just "bring" it. The replacement cast was under no pressure, they could find their own strength as they went along. Anyway, it was an exciting afternoon. The late David Margolies, a wonderful actor was a friend and I went that afternoon to support him. He was happy to see me after the performance and brought some great things to his interpretation of Roy Cohn.
 That is where we will leave it---should report tomorrow.

tired today...

and why should not I be? Yesterday, after two sessions (very productive) rested, then went to the Starr to see my friend Christina's play. Adventure on the way to the Star----got off at Flushing and Broadway, then thought a bus might get me to Wycoff, but of course, no bus in sight. So I walked, and walked and walked---all the way to Flushing and Irving---then over to Starr--practically yelling by the end--what a sense of "triumph"! But I did it. Stopped off at a Salad place on Irving and Starr (they are incredibly nice) and then went to the play. It is an odd and passionate piece, really in two parts. The first combines surrealism, mystery, legend, the unknown, and sexual bullying. The secoond part---it fades in without any warning is a confessional by Christine, the actress and playwright, in which she deals with her Japanese-American identity. I like Christine---we had a really nice conversation on a Saturday in December after Jill F's project---so I am trying to be as supportive as possible. Some very imaginative things in the piece---and some self indulgence as well. Still, the audience really loved it, and the rest of the cast is, as usual for the Starr and other experimental venues, totally inventive. I would have liked to say hello to Christine after the play ended, but so many people were waiting for her---so I decided to head for the Starr Bar, across the street, to get some food and with the hope that she and her friends might arrive there as well. They did not, so I did not get a chance to chat with her, or let her k now I was there, but I had nice meal at the Starr, and enjoyed the ambiance. Then it was off on the Subway shuttle to the M on Myrtle and Wycoff (the M arrived quickly) and back to the city. Cold, I did not bring a hat (I should have) but I got home in good shape. But that walking--no wonder that i am tired.
  Slow day, today---three more days until Wednesday morning when i see the doctor and get an appointment for a colonoscopy. Still dealing with resistance, even though intellectually I do think it is important. Things have changed. Well, let's see what happens, will report soon.

"free" for now....

school is out for two weeks (Spring vacation) and after picking up my check I became a "free" man. Now what? Well, tonight I have two choices: the political one---a march against Industry City in Sunset Park or a comedy routine by two very nice friends of mine, Jack and Melissa at the Pit Loft. It would be much easier to do the second--but my conscience asks me to do the first---have to see how the day progresses before I make the choice.
  Problems with the stomach and environs continue. I am seeing a specialist on Wednesday morning, and he (I assume it is a He) will give me an appointment for the colonoscopy I need. At this point, intellectually I accept the fact that it is necessary, and might also give me some insight into why my bowel patterns have changed so much in the past year---still, the idea of it----well, let's get it over with---maybe I could even take it during the this vacation period.
  Rest of the week it has been hard work--three days at Friends, and several sessions. Tomorrow, three sessions and Kristine's play at the Starr. The L is closed down so I am playing in my head with several routes to get there. Will have to leave extra early, that is for sure. Probably the best way is to get the M or J to Flushing and either walk or take the bus (assuming that it ever comes) from Broadway to Wycoff, not really a difficult walk, if cityboy is feeling good. On the way back---well, that will be a little more improvised depending on whether I stay around after the performance. Best way if alone, is again to walk, or actually take a cab on Flushing to the J or M, and then go home from there.
  Might meet a friend for a drink (if my stomach can handle it) later in the afternoon, but I have not heard from him---nice day outside---might be fun to explore or take a walk---we will see---will report soon.

a day of "rest"...

after five furious and intense days---well the rest is needed. Two days at Friends, then the sessions on Saturday, then Sunday, chaperoning on the Barnard Campus (kind of boring, but it has to be done) and then yesterday a full day with the middle school at Friends and one session. Finally only one session today. Tomorrow and Thursday short days at Friends.
  Sunday after the chaperoning, went to La Flaca to relax and have some contact with friends. Luckily, Sam (Samantha) a really kind bartender was on and she was very welcoming and gracious. Spent about 4 hours there--felt good returning.
   Sunday night, did not sleep well---awake at about 2 Monday morning. Stayed up so arrived at Friends not tired, but fatigue creeped up on me very soon. No problem though, in dealing with the rambunctious seventh and eighth grade students---they were working on scene projects and quiet and industrious as sthey went about it.
  Stomach problems continue---lab results, which I mentioned in Saturday's quick post apparently did not go through. Should do another soon. Tomorrow a visit to Ryan Center and a resident to really see if I can arrange a colonoscopy. Have to deal with the fact that it is necessary. Stomach is behaving in  a way that it has never done before. Difficult to deal with. Wonder how it will effect the coming two week vacation from Friends---I had thought I would try to see a lot of theater---will that be possible now..? Can't really plan too much ahead.
  Fantasized a short story about two older men==one. a recent widower looking for attention, the other, like myself, a "listener" who is asked to give him some comfort when he loses his wife.  Story turns on a memory that the first man brings up to the listener---which sets him off on a voyage into his past---actually an encounter in high school with a woman who lived in the Bronx near Yankee Stadium. The listener returns to the apartment house and his memories block out the people he sees living there now.
  The woman I remember was named Amy and she lived on Gerard Avenue in the Bronx which is right near the Stadium. One fascinating and surprising conversation with her in the Bronx library was enough to make me feel we had a future. Did we? Of course not, though I did have a nice chat with her at one of the Science reunions. At any rate, the potential for the story exists---will I be able to follow it through...? Stay tuned.

received results from lab test taken two weeks ago...

but of course, can't interpret them. Must make a call.
 Strange two days. Thursday morning, by 7:00 no call from Friends---cityboy resigns himself to his ninth day without work there. But wait! At 7:35, he receives a call from the science chairman--there is a sub needed and can he get there by 8:15. All of a sudden, all feelings are pushed into getting there on time. Amazingly the subway moved very quickly and cityboy arrived with ten minutes to spare., That was Thursday---after Friends ran up to the library at 145th and Amsterdam for two sessions. Left totally exhausted but made it through! Yesterday a little better but still dealing with the effects of the intense action the day before. Today, almost finished, might have the rest of the weekend free. But what of the medical tests. Could mean anything, have to wait and see.
 That is all for now--must go, will report soon.

intense and frenetic...

that seems to be where cityboy is at this morning. Lots of action! Two sessions scheduled for today and at least two for tomorrow. On Friday I return to Friends---then may chaperone the debate team this weekend. Possible performance at Here to attend on Saturday---and so it goes. Try to catch your breath, cityboy, not much else for you to do.
  The colonoscopy "event" simply won't go away. Went to the Ryan Center to see if I could get an appointment with a doctor who might be available and able to book me for a colonoscopy before May or June. Thought I could just go to the appointment desk and work it out but I was told I had to be referred by my regular doctor. But my regular doctor (I like him very much) is a resident who only comes to the Ryan Center every six weeks. I have an appointment with him for mid-April. I can return tomorrow and ask for an appointment with one of his replacements and he/she will refer me to the next doctor. While at the desk the receptionist told me I could see a doctor in today---but it was the same doctor who had started off with me in July. He was the one who told me I should have a colonoscopy in the first place. I could not face him. He is an older man, and I am sure would have looked askance at my avoidance of the procedure in the last few months. So I left and said that I would return soon. Wrong choice? Hard to say---I am feeling better today then I felt yesterday---somehow I am still stubborn---want to do things "my way", or want to put a face to this whole procedure. That is the one thing that is missing. Nothing to do but take it day by day..
  Yesterday, another tired evening with sleep most of the early part--today, probably similar but may have a little more energy if this "pull" continues. Will report soon.

No work, two sessions...

and stomach problems continue. Not the greatest beginning of the day for cityboy. The teacher whom I was supposed to substitute for yesterday arrived safely back in NY in time for her to teach her classes today (there was a possibility that she would not, and I would work). Kind of raw this morning as stomach problems continue---now I will have to go to my clinic and ask them to send me to another doctor to supervise colonoscopy that I need---since the doctor at Ryan Center is busy for a while. Strange, I woke up this morning feeling incredible, body completely relaxed, but the problems continue. It is as if two different aspects of my body are totally independent of each other. Had cream cheese on a bagel this morning---that is always a recipe for stomach disaster--but what could I do? I was hungry. Oh well, enough of this.
  Yesterday, not the most interesting day I have ever had, but did accomplish a few things. First, I bought new shoes at Payless on Broadway and 158th street. Payless is slowly going out of business---not good for someone like me who depends on their reasonable prices. But it may not be until May, so I can return to the store and maybe pick up one or two other pairs before they close, That would get me through next winter (I hope). Still, another inexpensive outlet is leaving the city---are their any other shoe stores whose prices are as low as Payless. More pressure on people with fixed income---that together with the Greek diners now charging around $8.50 or $9.00 for a tuna fish or blt sandwich---well, as I have said many times before: Where will it end?
  Pretty cynical today--kind of edgy---I think the cold has prevented me from spending a decent amount of time in Brooklyn, a place where I enjoy being, and that has affected me.
 I figured out that during the Spring break at Friends there are at least 6 or maybe seven theater events that I would like to see---and maybe an opera as well. I won't go into naming them all here---but that is a lot. Is it possible? We will see.
 That is all for now--will report tomorrow or soon.

Home again....

You know the old saying: when one thing goes wrong, what is next. Well, Friends called off school today because of the snow, and of course, that is when cityboy had a day of work. That coupled with no work last week...well, you get the picture. Yet, surprisingly, when I got the news and slightly afterwards, rather than feeling sad, I felt kind of free and relaxed. At least no worries about being called in the morning. And today, I just got a request to sub next Thursday, and I already have another day that week, so things are moving;----slightly.
  Friday, returned to the apartment tired, so did not go anywhere, just stayed home and rested. Saturday did go to see my friends, Michael and Abby's project done in collaboration with eight very talented NYU theater students. A really interesting piece on exploring the city---trying to figure out the meaning of "self" in the city by looking at others. Quotes from Diane Arbus, the talented and doomed photographer from the sixties dominate the piece. There is a moody dreamlike quality to the monologues and quiet interactions---also some beautiful choreography. A really good way to get into feelings about being a city dweller---ironically the piece excludes the issues of gentrification and for the most part, race---and yet it did not matter to me. The interior world of the project was striking and the students were completely imaginative. A nice way of spending Saturday evening--unfortunately Michael and Abby were not there (I was surprised by this) and neither were any of my "indie theater acquaintances. Still, I am glad that I saw it. A testament to how much sheer imaginative theater talent there is out in the city---simply in the schools.
  Not clear about the rest of the day. Have to get new shoes---the old ones are really warn, then we will see. Got a nice novel out of the Brooklyn library yesterday called Nostrand Avenue---you can imagine what this is about---takes place in the early 00's when Bed Stuy and its environments were still "the hood". Have enjoyed reading the first 50 or so pages.
  That is all for now---will report soon.

a raw feeling...

overtook me at around 9. This is Friends withdrawal---a sense of emptiness,  of not knowing what to do with my time, and above all, a sense of "why?" Maybe simply because all the teachers are there and no subs are needed--it may be that simple. But.....how do I solve this problem. I have work there Monday, and the Monday after that---that is all---no requests in advance by teachers going away to conferences etc. Well, things can change---also, the chaperoning that was called off for today may be on for next Friday (and possibly Saturday) . One session today at 3 30---that keeps me in Manhattan----still, would like to feel a little more at ease about all this. Well, let's see what happens.
  Made a reservation for a work in progress that my friend Michael and Abby are doing tomorrow evening at one of the theaters at NYU.  It is in conjunction with the students there--should be interesting and will be nice to see (and possibly "hang out" ) with the two of them. Some other friends from my "indie theater" world may be there as well. Interesting, how they all know each other. Has helped me move from one theater event to another. Anyway, that is tomorrow evening.
  And what about this evening? Should make every effort to see Lynn Nottage's play at the Signature Theater. They say they are sold out, but there should be some tickets left as the time approaches 7:30. Must give it  try---no worries if I don't get in---lots of other options.
 Last night---finally made a "move" in the evening. Went to JG Melon's, a bar that I could walk to on Amsterdam and 83rd Street. Had a beer and watched the last quarter of a Thunder-76ers basketball game--a close game that the sixers one. Both teams have almost identical records---the bar was pretty empty so I grabbed a seat by the tv and watched---no conversation. A nice vibe, if at this point, kind of impersonal---I definitely would go back there again. One woman was totally drunk---finally left---feel for that kind of emptiness. Thinking about it, I remembered that "yes', I enjoy sitting in a bar, observing people---checking out the atmosphere. I like the "openness" of it. Returned to the apartment feeling solid---this was a good move for me. Melons used to be on 76th street and Amsterdam, for many years in the eighties, it was my "go to" place. Well, that was then, this is now.
  That is what happening--hopefully I can be a little more "chill" as the day progresses. We will see.