The 40 year....

time frame has arrived. Spent a lot of time last night around 1 thinking, conceiving about it, but at this point, is not so important. Want to talk more about what happened in the last three days.
Saturday: First stop: Barclay's Center to join Akil Gurley protest. Did not stay for march, but listened carefully to the speeches that went before the march. Very moved and inspired by statements. One in particular: "The families of those killed need your love and support" I am paraphrasing, but this was close to it. Also "We must all love and support one another." Group that met at the plaza was very spirited, many young people with nice smiles on their faces, very few appearing angry. Much talk about how D.A. Thompson had recommended no jail time for the police shooter. Felt a strong energy while I was there, but did not participate in the march that followed the speeches. Instead, had an ice coffee at Coffee (on Bergen) and then prepared for trip to Clinton Street in Manhattan to see the run through that my friends the former O'Debra twins were doing. Only way to get there was to get off at Houston Street on 1 and walk across. Harder than I thought, but I was able to do it. Grabbed a bite and then watched the run through, very charming, Tania had some great voice work. I wish them well in Cincinatie, it is nothing new, but a lot of humor and a really good cast.
After that came the disappointment of Daphne's Dive,---really disliked it---all climax and no development, left Signature Center feeling very annoyed, unlike the week before when after seeing the Adrian Kennedy play, felt very excited.
Sunday, began day at Standings, watched most of Yankee victory over Tampa, then met Bobby and his girl friend for Bobby's birthday party at DBA. First time to talk with Bobby in a long time, had a lot of fun, he is becoming more substantial, have to give him credit, he has been my friend for 16 years, and in an off hand way is responsible for my meeting Frank who introduced me to the TEAM, who introduced me to....well you know, the list goes on and on.  Lots of good conversation, overate with a large piece of birthday cake which haunted me for the next 24 hours---but very glad I attended. Thought I would walk over to Cherry Lane to see Half Moon Bay, but was tired, decided a movie was better--saw Love and Friendship, the much talked about Whit Stillman adaptation of a Jane Austen work. Liked it, but did not get a great sense of importance from it. It is well made and articulate but seems a little too much like an exercise. Walked over to Houston and took the 1 train from there to home.
Monday, prepared for cook out at South fourth, not much else until i got there around 3:30, Came by way of Kent Avenue---boy that street has been built up since my early days (2007) in Williamsburg.
Somewhat depressing to see all that housing for what must be wealthy people. Arrived at South fourth then had a nice talk with my film maker friend---he invited me to a showing of a short film that is entered in the Brooklyn Film Festival on 6/7, and then had a long talk with my friend Harlo. We covered all the territory, both political and social. Felt very defined by our encounter. After that I left around 7 and fatigue set in. The fatigue was both physical and social---felt played out, did not want to go anywhere and be with people. Took a long route home---too confused to talk about here--and immediately gave way to tiredness. This led to the long night that followed and that led into now.
Tomorrow return to Friends (finally) and will try to find out as much info about events leading up to the graduation. Will report later....

picture in...

Friends seminary newspaper of me a little startling. It is part of the interview that I gave in April, that has been published in the newspaper. The interview is fine, it really covers what I hoped it would cover, but the picture seems the complete opposite of what I see myself as. Well, guess I have to live with it. Went by Friends this morning to pick up my check. Have two copies of the interview. Not much else to say about it, have to go on "living" as is.
  Yesterday, thought a play was possible in the evening, but after the second session was tired,  still could go to a movie at Lincoln Plaza. Chose "Wiener"---the documentary about the abortive mayoral campaign of Anthony Wiener. Good doc in many ways, Wiener at times seems like a  Woody Allen character, a bright "schmuck" who is not too sure how he got to where he is. Felt more compassion for him than I expected, also felt that talk show hosts who jumped on his revelation of more texting during the campaign were somewhat sadistic. And these included two  "liberal" talk show hosts.
And though during the mayoral race, I felt that he certainly did not deserve to win, looking at things now, realizing how disappointing DeBlasio is, how "wedded" to the real estate industry he appears to be, one can't help be a little sad that his "activities" have now labeled him unelectable. Really he seems like a very bright man, and it is interesting that he has no trouble absorbing and then deflecting the taunts that he receives. Glad that I saw the movie.

And now a brief return to a different time: He remembers that Friday 40 years ago, the morning in detail, his last day at the job on the lower east side. He remembers how he moved from place to place, the people he said good bye to, the kids whom he left, the party, the subway train there and the trip up to his "girl friend's" place. Then the trip to Gloucester...this was the "last' weekend, the beginning of the end. All for now.
 
The weekend holds a lot of activities: today after session a trip to Brooklyn, maybe a play tonight, tomorrow the Aquil Gurley protest (he must go to that---even if he is hesitant about committing himself) and the the rest of the weekend. Will try to post one of the days, even if library is closed.

another day......

brings one closer to the Memorial Day weekend, the beginning of summer with all of its landmarks. First off is the cookout at South Fourth on Monday--have been going to those since 2008---as a matter of fact, since labor day 2007, have not missed one of the three holiday cookouts
No work today, probably not tomorrow for it is a half day, but you never know. Only one day so far for next week--wonder if in the final week there will be any chance of work at the school. Each day that I don't work, means some disappointment, I really miss not being there, but it also liberates me for the evening--as much as possible. Last night, missed again the chance to see Mike I's show---simply not possible to leave upper Harlem at 7 and get there---and also get something to eat, which was necessary. I ended up at Lansdowne Falls, my other "baseball bar" ---had a good time but stuffed myself on chips because I wanted to show the bartender that I was still eating---did not want him to give me my check just because I was finished. It turns out, it did not matter--he did not make a fuss when I stayed to watch the baseball and basketball game anyway. Nice thing about Lansdowne Road is "The Twins", CC and Mel, two waitresses who are always very happy to see me. Warm and nice relationship with them---even if it exists only in the restaurant. But in a way.....
Left the bar about 9:15---determined to walk those chips off---walked down 10th avenue to 60th street A warm and generous feeling inside of me.Finally got to 66th and Broadway---while I was waiting for the 104 bus, saw Sahana, a senior at Friends going the other way. I got her attention and we talked for about five minutes---very nice, she had come from seeing a play at Dalton, which amazingly enough was about the mother of Tupak Shakar. I was surprised by the choice, but Sahan said it was very effective. Bus finally came and I returned home.
  Today, probably two sessions--again should see "something" after last one but it ends around 7, and not sure what kind of physical state I will find myself. But, anything is possible---we will see.

beautiful Wednesday morning....

probably the nicest day we have had so far. Reminds a little bit of the morning of 9/11---that was, incredibly, a strangely beautiful morning, I remember going early to vote in the Democratic Primary and returning home, enjoying the energy of the day. Of course, in a little while, that had all ended---but that is the memory.
    Yesterday, went to Friends, participated in discusssion with Jason and others re the House on Human Street, lots of didactic statements, some had not really read the whole book, so it was hard to get a picture of the core of it--nevertheless, glad that I came---happy to support Jason---after that it was on to the student one acts at McCray. This was a wonderful experience. Five one acts: four short and one longish musical. Terrific spirit by all involved, the acting was on a very high level, there is really a lot of talent in the school at this point. The four short one acts were very much written by playwrights at the "beginning" of their playwriting life (three were by sophmores and one by a juniora) but each one had at least one moment when a real individual spark and uniqueness revealed itself. The fifth piece, an ambitious musical, written by a sophmore showed real style and potential---a little derivitive, but what isn't these days. It included a terrific take off on sesame street, that was the best of it---, the composer-author Fouad really knows that world---I will suggest that for his next project he choose a story or fable to musicalize---something that would demand more discipline from him. But the overall spirit of the afternoon was extremely positive and infectious. Again, lots of students at Friends seem to be theater oriented at this point, it will be interesting to see how Steve uses all of them in the coming years.
  The plan was then to go to the Kitchen to see Mike's mini musical but soon after leaving Friends, tiredness set in---felt it was best to go home and rest----wonder why at certain moments I feel so sleep deprived---maybe because I get up so early--4:00 seems to begin my morning these days. We will see what happens today, when I have (I think) two sessions---how tired I am at 7; might want to check out Mike's musical tonight, or maybe go to Bushwick. Well, we will see.
Not much else to say---feeling "groovy" as the song goes---will report on the events probably tomorrow.

Today would....

have been a good day to be asked to sub at Friends, because I am committed to two projects there this afternoon: Jason Harris' book reading discussion and the the original plays at 5 P.M. Looking forward to both---the book that we are discussing, The Girl From Human Street is an interesting treatise on Holocaust survivors and those who are Jewish whose families left Germany, or other countries occupied by the Nazis, long before World War II, but who would have been annihilated had they remained. The writer also discusses his mother's bi polar effect and his father, who remained with her through all of her problems. Then the plays, the kids doing them seem to me very talented, should really be something interesting there. That should be over by 6:45---time for me to possibly wander over to the Kitchen where Mike I has a play that he is workshopping. Ambivalent about going, yet Mike was very nice to me when I went to see a play he was in at the Brick---and would like to support him because of that.
   As far as seeing plays go, I could go to one every day this week, and then only possibly have my list of "interesting plays" partially completed. Yes, cityboy really moves from place to place. Ah, such is life.
   Yesterday, returned to the upper west side from my work in Harlem, had to make a decision where to go---passed Second Stage uptown, toyed with the idea of seeing one of their summer productions, this one sounded interesting, although its subject----young adults faced with decisions, hardly seems original.Only $25.00, why not, but decided against it, instead went to Dive Bar on Amsterdam and 96th, where the bartender and a nearbye patron were talking about---what else...theater. The gentleman sitting next to me, Larry had written a play about the Black Sox scandal that I had seen in 1986---and we took it from there. Larry has had an interesting life---he is now the Principal of a City Alternative school---started off being an actor, but was able to join the city school system, and (I guess) work his way up to Principal----found a safe place or a safe place for income. Now he is in his last year and looking forward to retirement and rejoining the theater world. He must be about 57-60; sees his teaching or educational life as only a prelude for what he really wants to do---"act, direct write, etc- the whole deal, you have heard this story many times before. As opposed to you, cityboy, who could never consider "rising" in the school system to protect yourself economically; yet he was amazed at my memory for people and plays that he knew. And does he see in his retirement any kind of participation in the world of the city---the anti gentrification movement for instance---I would think not. Interesting contrast, perhaps what makes me so different from people like him is that my goal has been to "protect"  my passion for theater at any cost, so taking courses in education, which of course at one point I decided definitely not to do, would be an anathema to that. Heavy stuff---constantly reading about people who have made choices in their life that are so completely different from mine. And yet, I have always thought my family was so "normal"---how did I end up so differently?  Ah well, these questions must for now, go unanswered.
   Today should be interesting, will report back soon,..

so here we....

are. Monday morning in the library. AM paper had a disturbing article about police raids in the NYCHA projects that have willfully disturbed the lives of people and their families not involved in the drug selling in the projects. Very frightening---seems to be very little that can be done about it--in this case, the average person, no matter how much he detests this action---is powerless. Being a white person means living in an alternative society where this simply does not happen. So what is to be done...? Keep thinking about it, I suppose...and see what is possible. Still lots of strides to be made in changes all around the city. Must keep at it, no matter what artistic vision one possesses,no mattrer how many plays one needs to see.
Saturday night, went to see Signature Plays, three plays be Albee, Fornes and Adrienne Kennedy. Albee's play is slight, Fornes' deeply felt very well, acted by two black actors, somewhat reminsicent of Beckett. Group of four (two couples) in front of me did not like it, a little abstract but not hard to follow for myself. Finally the FunnyHouse of a Negro by Adrienne Kennedy, the strength of the evening. Have I seen this play before? Know that I have seen two other plays by this playwright, not sure if this was one of them. Was bowled over by the play---incredible production, writing is intense, a character has a monologue in which they reveal facts about themselves, and the next monologue by another character tells us that these facts may be totally imagined. Play topples over on itself, but after all, this is a "FunnyHouse" not a narrative piece. Set by Mimi Lien is terrific that black wall that the audience sees at times is unforgettable. Great acting by the whole cast. Really glad that I saw it (and probably would not have if my friend Robin was not sick in Baltimore)---again, I think that  a lot of people will not like it for it defies narration and deals with a racial subject in a very intense manner. On the way home one of the actresses whose work I have known for about 30 years was on the bus---but I decided not to talk to her---as I left told her the play was great, she seemed very happy to receive this information. Too tired to "hang out" went home, even if it was kind of early.
Sunday---after session, somewhat at loose ends, watched first part of Met Game at Sports bar on 79nth street---bartender was very nice---very few people at the bar at first, later it filled up.
Thought that i would see a play that my friend Jess Chayes directed, but was tired, did not expect to be so tired, but needed some place for my imagination to roam, so decided to see Fugitive Kind at Lincoln Center--know the play, Orpheus Descending, that it was based on, really found myself taken in by it---Magnanni is terrific, so is Brando, glad they were not afraid to keep the really unhappy and brutal ending of the play, three years later when a movie was made of Sweet Bird of Youth, the ending was made happier. Finished the movie, then went home---fell asleep very quickly, woke during the evening but did not go out.
My friend Robin's brother died on Sunday morning; he was an odd duck, very withdrawn, did nothing with his life, always chauferred Robin around, he was very comfortable doing that. She feels bereft---thought that i might go down Sunday and visit her, maybe see Everyman production of Death of a Salesman as well---now feel too overbooked---options spin around in my head, everything is moment to moment---tomorrow discussion and plays in the afternoon at Friends, will report on this and other things soon.

not a lot....

to say re the last two days. Thursday, had my sessions, became very tired, probably from staying up the night before at Jen's party, and returned home. Almost immediately fell asleep, awoke to hear radio saying that Harvey, the pitcher for the Mets, had just given up seven runs. Strange that I would awake at just that minute. In and out of sleep for rest of the night---got up and walked around the block around 12---bought some juice that I thought I needed. Friday morning, time to go to work at Friends, felt refreshed and got through the day nicely. Again the "crash" hit me when I left Friends; however I was determined not to simply go back to the apartment and fall asleep, found out that the Walter Reade theater was showing a Magnani retrospective, and Rose Tattoo, a movie based on a play by Williams that I know well, was showing at 4. Went to see it, found it likeable but predictable---actually left before it was over--Burt Lancaster really strutted his stuff as Magnani's unlikely new boyfriend, Script a bit overwritten.
  The rest was just a return home---and again in and out of sleep. Here I am at library preparing for my sessions, had a dream last night, I was listening to the radio; it was an opera, La Forza Del Destino. It was the performance in which Richard Tucker had a heart attack and died on stage. Could hear the tumult as he fell. Dream is strange, because actually this did not happen to Tucker but to Leonard Warren in March of 60---Tucker was on the stage with him but did not die until 75. Why did I place Tucker in the dream and not Warren?  What did the dream mean, can't find anything really relevant to my life, maybe should look further.
  Tonight, will probably take advantage of my friend Robin's offer to use her ticket to the Signature Plays at their space--sorry that she could not go, and tomorrow will check out Half Moon Bay, a play that my friend Jess has directed. May also stop by Lansdowne Road after the play tonight to watch some baseball.
  That is all for now, will report later.

How do you...

write a blog when you are really happy? That is the problem that I find myself facing right now. Feel very much centered with my life. How did it happen? Well yesterday, did go to Jen's dinner outing at Saigon Market  (really good food, must check it out another time)  had some good conversation, then off to Friends for the concert, split between the chorus and the chamber orchestra, some really good things (a terrific performance of the second movement of a Haydn trio, for instance) and when that finished, caught my breath and headed for the continuation of Jen's party at DSL, a dance-bar on Delancey off Ludlow.
    Second floor, couples dancing, mostly younger, a few older men also part of the group. Jen very nicely took me in, she was my first dance partner---after that, danced a few times with Jen's friend Emily--had a nice time. Did not ask any of the other women---those I did not know there-to dance with me. Some dancers really skillful, knew all the moves; at this point, I would be "clunky" competing with them. Dance partners, mostly male and female couples, seemed to understand the rules. I think an unstated rule there is no matter what happens during the dance, there is an agreement not to ask for phone numbers or see the place as a dating set up place. At least that is my perception of it. Still, if Jen were to return, I would go back with her---meaningful to expose myself to these kind of events. The four of us: myself, Jen and her two friends both named Emily took the subway home. One of the "Emily" women is an English teacher, she is going to England for the summer to study American and British lit; we had a nice talk about that on the way home. Arrived back at the apartment feeling tired but fulfilled.
   Just got an assignment at Friends for early June, will be also there tomorrow, at least for the morning--a little disappointed that have not been called for the past three days, but then again, not working means that my evening energy is much stronger. Some of those programs, especially the middle school ones, are back breaking---can't do much after taking them but go home and rest. This way I have "freedom" to be in the evenings.
 Lots of interesting movies, and of course, innumerable plays out there to see, their number will only be increased next week with the inclusion of The Taming of the Shrew in Central Park and  clubbed thumb's first event; it seems every theater person I know is involved with something in the next two or three weeks, plus the ban projects...oh well, let's just try to go from moment to moment.
That is all for now, will try to report soon...

so there I was....

at Lansdowne Road, last night, watching simultaneously the Mets and the NBA Playoff Game, when the tv right in the center of the bar switched to the Oriole game. The Oriole game?!!!! Why? The gentleman who requested it, told me he had come from Baltimore, he was there with his wife, and when he told me that, I told him that I knew the city from my days as an undergraduate at Hopkins. Conversation ensued, much discussion about places and memories of being near the old Memorial Stadium where the Orioles played before moving to Camden Yards. He was raised near it, and of course, if you were a student in the dorm at Hopkins or living in the vicinity, you could easily walk there. Turns out he is a producer-writer of a new TV show that he is working on in conjunction with a well known writer-producer. It is a show about the old, ratty 42nd street of the seventies and eighties, and he told me they were looking at locations for the street in Washington Heights, that is how much things have changed since then. Since I know there will be many minorities in the series, I suggested that he see Skeleton Crew, because the four actors in that were so good and so appropriate for his series. I also suggested that he read The Beautiful Struggle, Ta-Nihisi Coates' first book, and autobiography in which his boyhood in an all black neighborhood in Baltimore, far away from where my bar friend grew up, is described.My new friend is a light skinned black man, he may have much in common with Ta Nihisi. We left it at that, he told me that he and his wife hang out at this bar mostly during the week, I will try to come back in about two weeks and see if he has done either of the two things that I suggested. He did not take my e-mail or I his, so no other way of getting in touch.
       Have to say that this discussion did prompt some fantasies of my being much praised for my ability to find very strong actors. Could this lead to something else. Just when I have solidified my place at Friends and as a tutor to the students who I see at the library---will something else, a visit to "the other world" the world of art come in as well, causing some confusion? Don't know, but this has been running around my mind. Hard to say where (if any where) this is all going?
    Rest of day kind of normal, today apartment is being cleaned, then one session then probably go down and join Jen at her birthday party, then back to Friends for Chamber  Concert, then...Jen's continuation?
We shall see, will report as soon as possible...

so it went....

very well, the happiest and fullest Friends reunion that  I have ever been it---much warmth from the class of 11, and great to see some of my favorite members of the class of 2009 there as well. Left with a lot of e-mails---might be having a lot of fun with some of those guys starting June, when work at Friends is over.
Did go to see Idiot at HERE in the evening, piece has improved a bit---Daniel Kublick in the role of Prince Myshkin is totally unique---other three actors, and this includes my friend Merlin, are good, but Kublick's performance makes the whole thing work, whatever might be wrong with the text and vision of the piece is almost forgotten every time he takes the stage. Really good. Said hi to Merlin, afterwards and headed home really tired from the days events.
  Sunday, first an appearance at a reading of my friend Adam's short play about an angry older man at an assisted living place and the woman he interacts with. Adam is a great guy, very fond of him, wish I could say I like his play, but he locks his characters in, and why does he make both those people so unlikeable.? I was fantasizing a play that I wanted to write (will I ever write it?) while tuning out his.
Adam is also working on a project with the son of famous Jewish opera singer Richard Tucker. I told Adam that I so many of the latter's performances at the Met between 66 and his death in 75 and would meet with him to share my memories and insights. He seemed amenable to that; should do it sometime in June.
    Afterwards trekked (the subway service at the A on 42nd and 8th was so bad, I actually walked) to Atlantic on 20th to see Skeleton Crew. Interesting walk down eighth---very honky tonk until 29nth street, then an odd mix of luxury houses, white people and derelicts walking the streets. Considering that this zip code is considered one of the richest in the city, the homelessness and roughness of some of the derelicts seemed very out of place, but I suppose it is part of the scene.The play, Skeleton Crew by Dominique Morrisey is very strong, acted by a remarkable four people, very moved at the end. Felt invigorated as I left to go home.
Yesterday, after work, went to first BAN meeting in a while. A good meeting, was able to get some points across. Two actions, one on the 28th and the more interesting one which I want to really take part in on Sunday the 5th in a park in Bushwick. At the meeting, all thoughts of "art" disappeared.
Strange how this happens, still trying to bridge the gap between the two. Glad that I went to the meeting, though.
   Tonight a free night, don't often have one of them, no work at Friends, today kind of relieved---have been working very hard, not sure what I will do with the free time, or where I will go. Movie..? Play..? hang out, sports bar---who knows, we will see.

will be off....

in a little while, to the Friends Seminary reunion, looking forward to talking to members of the class of 11 (a class that I knew very well) and the class of 06 (my first fifth grade class, back in September of 98) who I got to know slightly during my first couple of years at Friends, one or two students come to  mind whom I was friendly with, hope that they will return.
Last two days have been spent working, also reading The Girl From Human Street, a memoir by Roger Cohen that will be discussed at Friends a week from Tuesday. The author, who is Jewish, had parents and relatives who lived in England or South Africa during World War II and so were spared the horror of the holocaust-- it seems that he is trying to figure out his and their roles as passive observers of the slaughter. A little in your face in the beginning; he mentions slaughters of women and children in the small towns that the Germans conquered in Lithuania, a great deal. At the same time, this is contrasted against the privileged growing up arrangements that his ancestors, particularly on his mother's side, experienced. They all lived in South Africa and lived very well. Well, let's see how the book develops.
       Yesterday evening attended a performance of Strindberg's A Dream Play, part of the master's program at Columbia School of the Arts, Zach, a friend of mine was in it. Nice to see a "crazy" (difficult to  produce) play by Strindberg. staging by an Icelandic candidate for the MFA was very
focused, worked well with the bizarre elements of the play; the play went on a little too long, and had its repetitive moments---but was substantial, not a waste of time by any means. My friend Zach, a very attractive guy, played an egg heady person, very much against type---worked very hard to achieve this, very happy that he took the risk
     Zach's mother and some of her friends were there, so rejected the idea of joining them for a short meal afterwards, instead checked out some of the new places in the 100's ended up opting for a beer at the Abbey Pub, on 105th near Broadway, the bar has been there forever. Truly a neighborhood bar, everyone seemed to know each other and the bartender as well. Watched some baseball and basketball as I had my beer---kind of turned off on the place---there is a closedness about it---I think you really have to be a regular there to have a good time. Might be last time for me.Should be a little more adventurous.
     Today, after reunion, am scheduled to see my friend Merlin's performance in The Idiot at HERE.
This will be my third go round with this work, not that anxious to see it again, flaccid reviews clued me into the fact that it hasn't changed much but I like to support Merlin,  a really good guy.
   That is all---should be on my way, will report soon.

just got the...

word, will be working a full day at Friends on Monday, that means three days in a row, and also the reunion on Saturday. I am enthused...really looking forward to it.
Yesterday, had whole afternoon free, something that does not really happen much, and took the time to see the Friends baseball team in action. Game was at Randalls Island stadium (or one of them) and rather than take a very crowded bus at the corner of 124th and Second Avenue, decided to walk over TriBorough Bridge took the baseball field. Long and somewhat anxious walk, hoped I was going in the right direction, bridge for the most part was deserted, and arrived at a desolate part of the island, only found my way to the ball park because there were some workers around who could direct me. Once there, had to deal with the enormous cold (very cold for mid May) but stayed for the whole game. Students look different in their baseball uniforms, hard to recognize, but team won, which was good, also had a nice conversation with the sister of one of the Dwight (the other team) players.

Some notes on the area: the corner of 124th and Second; looks very ratty, can see the drug dealers, etc. probably lining the street years ago, still looks poverty driven, but in the middle of 124th between second and third is this large luxury housing building. Amazing! Who lives there, who would want to live there? The juxtaposition of this building to the rest of the block (mostly tenements) is startling. On the way back decided to walk south on third from 125th to 116th street. Again a strange contrast between the obvious poverty of people living in the area, at the same time on the third avenue corners between the nine blocks, there must be at least six new luxury buildings. Saw street people and also young people walking their dogs, or bringing back laundry to their new apartments. No bars or restaurants for the new comers on the streets that I walked on. Walked west on 116th  to the 6 train, took it to 96th street. I was anxious to watch the Yankee-KC game, and was hungry, I was looking for an Irish sports bar on Third near 94th that I had gone to a few times in 04, but found instead in its place an Irish bar far more upscale, and well put together. Bartender direct---not especially nice but not really brusque. Had a Caesar Salad (brought out very quickly, I might add) and a coke, watched the first two innings on a really nice screen at the bar. Thought about getting a light beer and staying for a while, but the bartender presented me with the check soon after he bussed my food, so figured I should go. Walked up third to 86th street, thought about stopping off and watching baseball game and basketball game that had just come on, but decided instead to stop at the Barnes and Nobles on 86th right off Lexington. This is an enormous store, really can get lost in it---managed to get downstairs to the starbucks place, had a coffee and a very rich cupcake. The latter was delicious but my stomach is still paying for it now. Read a bit of Middlemarch, now about half way through, have to push myself with that one, will not start another book until I have finished it, but at times, I have no desire to read it. Saw two books in Library near Lincoln Center that I would really like to read but let them go, because it is my "duty" to finish Middlemarch. Oh well, that is how it stands. After a bout an hour stay at B and N, walked up Madison to 79nth street, lots of older apartment buildings, very stately and removed, what if I had found a rent controlled apartment on that block in the late sixties and remained  Always reliving that possibility. Wonder how many elderly people living in those buildings actually came in when the rent was cheap, and are still paying low rent. Anyone? Ah well, such were my musings as I crossed the almost deserted "strip" of Madison Avenue between 85th and 79th street.
That is all for now, should report on next voyage soon....

Interesting moment at,,,,

Barnes and Noble, this morning as I waited for the library to open, and was browsing through American History AP training books. Saw a woman who looks like someone I was involved with, very passionately I might add, come into the bookstore, I think to use the bathroom Face much older now, looked extremely detached, might have been her, might not---still, remember her very distinctive walk---after our relationship ended would see her on the street, she would recognize me and say hello (but not much more)  but at least there was some recognition. Don't know whether she saw me or not, she was moving very quickly, but the closedness of the face, the look straight ahead, the disintererest in anyone in her way, was a sign that she was not looking for contact. Finally happens at this age (she is in her middle sixties) a sense of withdrawing, of moving inward. Of course, I don't really know if it was her---perhaps some odd spectre that reminded me of her, could have been just another elderly person. Not much else to say, I guess---everyone moves through Time differently.
   Speaking of time, had two sessions yesterday, after a day at Friends, wondered at first if I could make it through, but had not trouble, and think, especially in the second session, that I did some of my best work. Today, my one student canceled, may have my "day to day' fifth grader, if not would like to try to go to Friends baseball game, at Randalls Island, of all places. All the baseball fields where the Friends team plays are in odd spots in the city, hard to get to, with pretty pathetic sight lines if you do get there. Saw high school football games at Randalls Island probably when I was in the fifth or sixth grade---Monroe, the school at which my father taught, played a few games there. Anyway, will try to get there by public transportation, or walk over the bridge, this afternoon.
 Sunday, spent the day "at rest" which means no movies or plays, but plenty of walking. Most interesting walk occurred after visit to Brooklyn Library at Grand Army Plaza---walked up to Franklin, then took 2 train to Beverly Road station, got out and walked west along Beverly and then continued west on Cortelyou Road, until I got to then"heart" of Ditmas Park, on Cortelyou between East 16th street and Coney Island avenue. First part of the trip, the streets on Beverly Road near Nostrand, Bedford, Flatbush et.al, was through a mostly west indian neighborhood, very little signs of gentrification. Lots of private houses and some apartments, not as upscale as the ones west of Ocean Ave. It is at that point that things change, the apartments are bigger and include some co-ops, the diversity of the neighborhood begins to include white people. Something about that neighborhood appeals to me very much, thought what it would be like to live there, might be fun, but so far away from my work in Western harlem---would take forever to get home,. These are all pipe dreams anyway, am "stuck'  in my apartment on UWS. Still, enjoy the wandering, after which I took a subway and three buses (yes that is right) to Williamsburg and my place at the South Fourth street bar,
Bartender Olivia, a really nice person, whom I enjoy encountering at this time was there---not too many other people there that I knew, usually there is more--mostly watched first hour of the Yankee game, watched a fellow bar patron 'terrorize"  (play) with his dog. Returned home by subway the usual wasy.
Tonight not sure what the evening holds, Yankee-Royal series full of surprises, might just want to fnd a place to watch that. Some other options...? We will see

all was made better the next...

day, as offer to sub for Spanish on Thursday came through. So was at Friends on that day and on Friday, when I subbed for Josh in the English department. Got a chance to see Malcolm X, the Spike Lee movie, which I had never seen before. Pretty interesting. Students seemed to like it. Returned home and rested a bit then returned to Friends for Dance Concert, always have enjoyed it; many students whom I know are in it. Following that, headed to Standings, where I grabbed what was left of the Pizza, and stayed for a while, had a good time, nice discussion of  the two playoff basketball games that were showing with another patron. Saw the first quarter of the Spurs- Oklahoma City game---both teams were on fire, left soon after, because I was very tired.
  Yesterday, tired after three sessions, returned home, hoped to go to short opera concert at Anthology Film Archives, but simply did not have the energy, still, felt I should go to La Flaca to say hi to owner Bobby, a good friend for over 15 years. Arrived there, only to find out that he had left, but stayed, watched Mets-Padres game, for quite a while, had a nice mean and then left. Walked from Grand and Clinton north to Orchard and Houston. Passed what seemed to be a million bars and restaurants, most of them pretty filled, hundreds of people lining the streets---where do they all come from?  Could have had a beer at one of those places but instead chose the Bean and had a delicious (and over filling) chocolate mousse dish. Left a little bloated, returned home by subway.
 Today is a day of rest, happy to be in Brooklyn, nice day to walk around, will I walk south from here into Lefferts-Prospect, and how will I end up in Willaimsburg? (In other words, what travel plans to I have to get there). All will be revealed soon, as I prepare for another week with at least three days at Friends.

disappointed....

received work offer at friends around 7:30--but I was sitting in a coffee shop (one which I usually don't go to) and apparently the signal did not go through. Got back to H wilson about the job which I wanted in about 10 minutes, but he had already called someone else who accepted it. Drat! Could have taken phone call at home any time before that--was totally free and a little bummed out because I was not going in---or could have received a phone call any time last night. Really gets me angry, simply not there because of circumstances. Well, maybe the time will be put to good use. Have some more free time this evening. Still, don't enjoy dealing with the "void" oh well, there are some things I can do today that I wouldn't have done if I worked.
Last night, tired, decided to have dinner at Irish Pub on 72nd street, bartender there, John, very nice, watched about 5 innings of both NY baseball games, but not much else. One conversation with a 72nd street "veteran" named John, who has been going to that pub, and also its famous predecessor, All State Cafe sine the 80's Now in I think his late fifties, he made his money in advertising and is retired---guess he has all the money he needs. Wish I could say he was interesting, I respect his decency, but could have found more colorful conversations if I had the strength to go to one of my places in Brooklyn. But still tired from the day before, the pub seemed the best choice.
Today, since I am not at Friends, there is a rally at City Hall at 1, which I definitely should attend---its groups that are fed up with the mayor's policy of rewarding his contributors at the expense of others. Ambivalent, and it is an ugly day, but should go. Then at least two sessions---now that evening is free, should force myself to do something a little more interesting then watching baseball---but where..? Maybe one of the trivia games in Brooklyn (have not done that for a long time) or just hanging out at South fourth or somewhere like that. Will see how I feel in late afternoon, but think that I have been holding back a bit---maybe that accounts for the malaise that I was in when I woke up this morning.
Where do we go from here..? Not sure----really annoyed at how "fate" stopped me from being at Friends, oh well, will be there Friday, maybe even tomorrow, will let you know....

bushed....

after yesterday's time at Friends and then two (one unexpected) sessions. Came home at around 7 and collapsed. No work today---the first day off from Friends that I have had since Wednesday April 20th. Kind of like it, a vast expanse of time and thought at my disposal. Need a little space.
 About the past weekend, did not get out of Manhattan, even though the plan was to go to Brooklyn both days. But with a lot of time on my hands Saturday early afternoon, found myself taking 145th crosstown bus to the Bronx, and standing on 149th street and Grand Concourse. Bronx Museum which is located on 165th street and Concourse was my destination---so a long walk was in order. Actually stopped by newly built "mall" adjacent to Yankee Stadium (really packed and cramped) and then walked down Walton Avenue, the block one block west of the Concourse. Of course, memory took over, tried to imagine the street as it had been in the fifties and early sixties, when the neighborhood was all white and mostly Jewish. Tried to pinpoint the moment that change had begun. When? Around 66 or 67? Remember being bowled over when I heard that an elderly man was murdered in the neighborhood during a robbery, and that there were now "patrols" during the night to keep the area safe. This was in March of 67, and I was startled by this; could not believe that this area which I had always assumed so peaceful and safe was being stalked by predators, or undergoing change. Anyway continued my walk up Walton to 165th, all the people I passed were black and hispanic; thought about what it might be like to live in the neighborhood now. Arrived at Museum and had some coffee and cookies---not much to look at in the exhibits, then walked east a bit to Sherman and Sheridan avenue to see what that was like. About the same as Walton, remember that in camp Merrimont in 1954, made a friend named David Arnauer, visited him at his home on Sherman, right where I was on Saturday, in May of 55, we played stick ball in the school yard by his house, again all were Jewish at that point. Returned home to find out that in Cleveland, Gil MacDougald had just hit a line drive that knocked out very promising Cleveland pitcher Herb Score. MacDougald said that if Herb Score was blinded by hit (he wasn't) that he would quit baseball. Strange memories, seem so vivid, can't seem to get rid of them.
  Took D and C home, stopped to rest on benches opposite West 81street apartments, ran into Friends student Evan, we stopped and talked for a while, good conversation, glad we met up, then returned home feeling very tired. Slept and then challenged myself to go out to Bushwick to see Flako's project, but just could not make it. Ended up watching movie of Reflections in a Golden Eye, at Bunin---kind of obvious in the beginning but very fascinating and intense as the movie progresses.
Liz Taylor is all over the place, Brando seems to be doing a parody in the beginning of the movie, but his performance gets more believable as the movie moves closer to its end. Looks about 30, can't believe this was only about 6 years before he made Godfather. Interesting scene between Taylor and Julie Harris (a stage icon at that time)---you can see the different techniques of the two actresses: Taylor---just out there---Harris, receiving more and relating from that, more quiet, but the two actresses really jell nicely. Tired after the movie, just went home.
  Sunday, uneventful, had a session in the morning, thought that I would go out to Crown Heights for a program entitled Anthology, but again, found myself tired---rested in afternoon, decided around 6 that the only movie I could see should be in the neighborhood, settled for A Hologram for the King, Tom Twyker movie starring Tom Hanks. Very competently made, many shots of Saudi Arabia and its environs. All things equal glad that I saw it---returned home and prepared for day at Friends.
  Not sure about tonight, see how much energy I possess as the day continues, will let you know...