so its.....

monday, first day that Friends is back in session---no invites yet---feeling sort of non-plussed, sitting in the library, Saturday afternoon, returning from the library, felt very tired, yet got up to go to Abby's play, not much to speak of there, but good to see Abby and Michael---by the time I left them, felt very energized, and had a good day yesterday, and today as well.
Yesterday, got false news that L was not running to Brooklyn, this prompted a trip on the A train, but rather than just switching to L at junction, got out and walked along Broadway, interesting kind of bleak, still fascinated by walking along the Bushwick Bed-stuy border---it is a hard geography to stick in one's mind, as the grid for the east-west streets in Bed Stuy, run north as well. Very cold, and yelled at by strange man at
Rockaway Avenue bus stop, a little unsettling, but I moved on. Finally arrived at Cobra, via Gates Avenue bus which travels through the seven blocks that make up Bushwick. Good conversation with Danny (I have his film script) and Rob.
Today, possibly two tutoring sessions with Andrea and Kyla---everybody seems to want the same time, and the time that I have free---Tuesdays and Thursdays, no one is interested in. After that, see how I feel, maybe visit the twins at Lansdown Road.

tired.....

not muh else to say, after two tutoring sessions (one for two hours) yesterday. No work today (what a relief!) but will see Abby's play tonight at Incubator Arts. Rest of day---not sure, need to let go----relax, but what does that mean? Thinking a lot about the reunion, should be fun (menaingful?) like the idea of all that interaction, but worried about time frame---why did they have to schedule it so early? The day before, the Friday, afraid that I will be overwhelmed by either subbing or tutoring, and have to make sure I see Friends version of Les Mis, either that night, or at the dress (invited?) the day before. Gonna be a tough call...but we will do it. 
Not much else to say...going to drink a lot of coffee, I guess, but where...? Love the place at 157 street, love their coffee, but do I want to go up there.? So this is it, will report back Monday (or next non work day) on how things turn out.

unbelievable......

great time last night at Assembly's This Poor Dream---first of all, they have done a wonderful job of expanding the project from the two "works in  progress'" that I saw earlier this year, to this new version--it is alive with passion and sensuality, and literacy as well. The group really knows how to make something on stage unique to themselves.But nicer was being invited to hang out with them afterwards, we found a nice little bar restaurant on seventh avenue south, and talk to them about the project. I tried to reinforce how much i respected their vision. Some really good conversations with the whole group. Looking back on moments like those, I realize how fulfilled I am when talking theater with friends. Really means something to me. More on this later....have to tutor shortly and have to contact an old BRonx Science classmate, whom I mistakenly told I could meet when he comes into the city for his CCNY reunion.
Also heard from Betsy my airbnb host in Baltimore, she gave me a very welcoming message, and I am glad that she lives so reasonably close to the campus. Only one more move remains: make my reservation for going down there...and that I will do probably tomorrow...we shall see...

some thoughts for...

Thursday---first part of the week is over. Things to do each evening through Sunday. Spent the last two evenings at home, tired, feel good now, but need to take advantage of what the outside world has to offer.
Tonight will attend This Poor Dream, by Assembly, my favorite theater group. Remember it starts at 7.
Many other issues; will I finally make my stay reservations in Baltimore for the reunion. Still have ambivalence about attending, don't want to attend, I tell myself, but WANT to attend, I insist. Moving towards that way, hate the rush, time unexpanded, but what can I do. Maybe I can start contacting possible
airbnb.places after this blog is finished.
Dream last night---the Frank Loesser dream, tried to understand it, his Most Happy Fella is being presented by Encores next week, love the musical, but don't want to go, already sated by too many performances of it, yet...also ambivalent, so two ambivalent weekend decisions, on the horizon. But dream itself, exemplifies conflicts that still exist in my life. Spent a lot of time thinking about it this morning, after waking.
Anything else, may go visit FUREE this afternoon before play, see how I can help out there, also had very productive lesson with Tamia yesterday afternoon, two more tomorrow, possibly.....and weather is supposed to break with some spring like temperatures tomorrow and for the weekend....

cityboy is....

stumped---pressured by possible meeting tonight at FUREE, , can't make decision on where to stay in Baltimore, what airbnb person to ask...can't make contribution to BDC because you have to go through Amazon, and I don't want to. Feel kind of mushed, which is strange since I was feeling so good and positive this morning, before all this occurred.
Last night, a strange dream, very vivid, I am at Friends, have to cover a class---group of kids whom I like very much, possibly class of 09. but can't find the room, even though it is written down for me.Move through the school, wondering if the kids will remain if  I come late. Wake up very anxious.
Last night, stayed in, had a nice Caesar salad at new Irish pub where all state once was---the people there are very nice---read a lot in Brooklyn Rail, some nice poetry by Jennifer Bartlett, and an interesting article on surviving in theater by Crystal Skillman. Might try to see her play, but really pretty booked up in the next few days.
Today, one session with tamia in harlem library, decent amount of time before that, should finish Robin's play, she writes well, shame she is not more known---tomorrow is blank, before I go to HERE to see Assembly, well, it should be a much nicer day, maybe can go to brooklyn, today can't move around much'
whether is so cold.
It looks like my stay on this computer will be extended, which means maybe I can sort things out while I am here, and feel unrushed.

free time......

that is the way it is....no tutoring today, called off at last minute....now "forced" to make decision re how to spend the day---will read Robin's script, then should we see Sonnambula tonight? Lots of tickets available, just a question of price---in light of how much we have to spend.
Yesterday, tired after hour with Andrea, but headed down to second avenue to hear Rachel read her poetry. Enjoyed that and conversation with Rachel and Josh's friends. Too tired to go out and eat, then returned home.
Having trouble deciding whether to go down to Baltimore by bus or train, was offered an inexpensive train ticket but it was a little late in the morning---do I really prefer to go down by bus?
These and other questions to be answered soon.....

head is.....

spinning from all the activity over the weekend. Where shall we begin...?
Saturday, stopped off at Cobra, had a nice conversation with Claire (bar tender in the weekend mornings), then, since it was the first nice day in a while, walked to Myrtle Avenue stop, not sure what to do then, played with a lot of ideas, finally decided to take the L train 2 stops further IN to brooklyn to Wilson Avenue stop. Have heard of people buying co-ops that far east---thought it might be interesting to investigate. Stop itself is interesting on two levels, walked west on Wilson, about eight blocks, saw a mixture of mostly hispanic people, but some young white people as well, neighborhood seemed kind of mellow, finally go to Halsey, waited for bus and took it across Broadway into bed-stuy. Went as far west as Classon, got off, my destination being Outpost (I suppose it once was) and arrived, used the bathroom, and had my coffee. Afterwards moved to Franklin, walked north on the street through what once was considered a tough area of Bed Stuy, now at least 50% gentrified, stopped and looked into the bars and shops. Walked to Bedford, and finally got a bus to Williamsburg, then to South fourth, where I met up with Sonja, have not seen her in a while, we had a good conversation, she is moving to a co-op in Manhattan, not far from La Flaca.
So ended the night.
Yesterday, great lesson with Kyla, rushed to Brick theater on Metropolitan and Lorimer for performance of a strange play about relationships, my friend Lucy played a dog, some good conversations afterwards, then back to Cobra, Susan, my bartender friend was there, had a great talk about movies with a guy named Danny, he is a screen writer, may have a production of a script coming up, invited me to read it, my head whirled with all the movies we referenced in about an hour.
After cobra, thought that I might stop at south fourth, but too tired to do much else, after a bagel and american cheese near train stop, headed home.

feeling relaxed today....

 a really good time yesterday at "Dear White People", the movie at Lincoln Center New Directors festival.
Amazing energy in the space, and a very enjoyable movie. I predict it will have a lot of commercial success when it is released in the Fall. Also, good session with Andrea, yesterday, these two hour sessions are tiring (for her as well as for me) but we got a lot of work done, Again, she is my most "difficult" student in that she needs to be taught conceptually---the greatest challenge for me among my five or six students.
Got an e-mail from FUREE today, asking for volunteers to go to Gowanus Houses to let residents know about the participatory budgeting process that they are involved with. But won't go---too tired, also just need to spend the time by myself, maybe make the rounds of my "hang-outs" in Brooklyn. Don't want to see any movies, plays, or operas today---really need to thaw out, be with people, and possibly watch some NCAA basketball---would enjoy watching the Harvard-Michigan State game.
Things seem to be shaping up well for next week--tomorrow will see the play that Lucy is in, Monday a poetry reading by R. Zucker (her poetry fascinates me) Tuesday and Wednesday so far open (maybe La Sonnambula) Thursday this poor dream, Friday maybe a movie at BAM, saturday, the John Jesuran  piece that Abby is in. Any more..well it would be nice to see one more New Directors Film, but when...? Not sure.Will see where we are on Monday.....

finally made the....

move, that is made reservation to return from Baltimore to Philly on Sunday morning the 13th of April. That means I HAVE to be in Baltimore the night before, ergo, I am attending the reunion at Hopkins. Wonder if last night's visit to Jack (the theater) in Brooklyn had any thing to do with my choice. Duffy's production of Plato's Republic was strong visually, but very obnoxious and manipulative in the way it treated its audience.
Afterwards, went to Mullane's, had a nice Caesar Salad, place was packed, as were most of the bar restaurants that I passed in Fort Greene on my way west from Waverly Avenue. Still, gave myself a little more, though no contact, which I hoped for, after the play.
Now, all that remains for me to do is make the reservation for a place to stay (probably through airbnb) and pay for the meal. Should be interesting, interacting with my classmates, casual, but I can probably find some meaning in it. Will dialogue with some friends who have been coming to reunions past, but no one that I was close with will be attending the reunion. Well, it will be nice to be back at Hopkins, anyway.
Still getting used to vacation reality---today will tutor Andrea for two hours, not sure what will happen after that, last week, you will remember, we found ourselves surprisingly knocked out after that experience, and returned to the apartment exhausted. Tomorrow, will probably see Kyla, should be around 60 for one day, nice....

much better....

energy today as I sit in library around 2, working at computer. Helped a lot by a great session yesterday with Tamia, her assignment was on the Townshend Acts, (a reading comprehension assignment) and though she could answer it all,just by going back to the text she had no real awareness of the context of the piece, or really what Parliament which is mentioned a great deal in the excerpt, really meant. Took about 20 minutes, as we worked on the text, to give her the whole picture, for which she seemed very happy. Left me feeling very "up' looking forward to my next tutoring session with Andrea, which should be for two hours tomorrow.

Just found out that I can take a train out of baltimore sunday morning 4/13 for about 35.00. That my cinch my returning for the reunion (though don't count out not going, yet), But that is the most non-pressure vision that I have of spending the time, still have the afternoon to disappear into Philidelphia, or go slowly back into the city by the "slow" local to Trenton and then NYC. Should make up mind tomorrow.
 Harvard game begins very shortly. Will try to catch some of it...rest of the day not sure, can watch NCAA games or possibly see the play at Jack---a play about Plato's symposium. A long way from first day NCAA...

finally arrived....

the money from the government, that is. So why am I so torn? Would like to use some of it, but at the same time, the voice inside my head that has been guiding me financially for the past few months, tells me that a lot of it should be saved as we approach the summer, and the usual non-earning weeks. Well, we will see.
Just read another negative, snarky review of Three Penny Opera which I saw at Altlantic last week and liked. It seems to me that for this work, everyone has a vision in their own mind of what it should be, and then figures out if what they see lives up to it. Is this version too tame, kind of like a breughel painting, but lacking some of the sharpness that is needed to make it effective. It essentially showed me the work, without pushing me towards some feeling that was imposed.
Yesterday arrived at library for lesson with Andrea, but the mother abruptly canceled, very irresponsible but I dealt with it---decided to see Enemy, a very intense movie by a canadian filmmaker---very obsessional, kept me occupied throughout, highly erotic. Afterwards too tired to go to a bar and hang out, though I saw a nice bar on west third street that seemed interesting. Instead, had a good slice of pizza at two boots on bleeker, then returned home, tired, but woke up this morning feeling a bit sad and empty, should I have really gone to La Flaca for the evening instead, to be with people, or maybe played trivia at Cobra, which I have never done before? Not sure how I will feel tonight after my sessions with Michaela and Tamia. Have heard good things about trivia game at the place in Inwood. Maybe check that out, or go down to La Flaca.
Still no decision re reunion, a part of me really does not want to go---but then another part of me......

just had teeth....

cleaned...what a relief! Now, sit in library a bit relaxed. Session did not include x-rays, so got away with a little less money then I expected to pay.
Yesterday, the two tutoring sessions went well---especially the second one with Alem--have great rapport with her, but her mother might be stopping sessions. Why...? After Alem's session, found myself very tired, all I could do to return to the apartment and, after a meal at the Greek place on Broadway, opposite Symphony Space, just wandered home---no evening activity, even as several choices availed themselves to me. Tonight at 5, have a two hour tutoring session with Andrea, my hardest student. No plans yet, waiting to see how much energy I have left. Maybe go down to La Flaca. Still, it is good to be having students.
Still have not made up my mind about the reunion. Feel further and further away from needing to be there, yet whenever I seem to finally make up my mind not to go, an image pops into my head of being there, and I tell myself I should go. How to resolve...?

kind of agitated...

as I write this. Why? Things too frenetic. should feel good, two tutoring sessions today, and some extra ones tomorrow, so that will keep things going. Still, a very different feeling knowing that there will be no phone calls from Friends for the next two weeks.
Saturday night: Really enjoyed Threepenny Opera, then went to Irish bar near me, pleasantly surprised, had a really nice conversation with a couple, John and Jessica, seem like very sensitive people hope I interact with them again.
What to do...? Feeling very ambivalent about attending my college reunion. Pressed for time. Wish that I could do it in three days, not two, just to settle in. Must see Friends production of Les Mis, Friday night, then run to bus early Saturday morning, then be locked in to a time to leave on Sunday, seems like a bit much. Like the people I might see at the reunion, but not really close to any of them, no real tragedy if I don't go. Also, there seems to be so much going on for me here at this time, perhaps the present simply trumps the past. Want to visit Baltimore with time on my side,  Still, no real decision yet.....
Yesterday, visited South Fourth then cobra, had nice conversations,,,wanted to see a play at Incubator arts
yesterday evening, would have it if had started at 7, but by eight I was exhausted, needed to go home, walked a lot. Came home and was soon in bed.
This evening: will depend on how i feel after the two sessions. They are with very alive kids, so should feel pretty rested. Then the choices begin....

what to do....

on a day like this, Saturday, no tutoring, waiting for performance of Threepenny Opera at Atlantic, perhaps should not have bought the ticket, might have been better to see Near Vicksburg tonight, well, will try to go tomorrow.
Tired....from yesterday......did a lot of walking yesterday, before I picked up check from Friends, then walked to 23rd and 7th, afterwards, strong tutoring session with Andrea, she is quite a challenge, must teach her math concepts that she does not get in class, also has limited awareness of English, yet she picks up well. Teaching her is taxing---constant awareness, no break at all, yesterday, after two hours with her, felt starved for food....could not find a pizza place around the library (145th and Amsterdam) to go into, walked to my favorite coffee place, Tazzo, on 157th off Broadway---but all they had was a cheese sandwich, took it, but was not very satisfying. Then went to the coffee place on 140th and Amsterdam, I have been there many times, gorged myself on a very rich cupcake, payed for it later---spent the rest of the night in very heavy bloat. Thought that i would do something in the evening, but arrived back at the apartment exhausted, fell asleep quickly, awakened around 10, still feeling the bloat. Have to remind myself not to eat something as heavy as the cupcakes again.
Today, tired, this morning played with all the choices about attending reunion, did not come up with much. want to go---but don't want to go. Must experience the reunion---but time is cramped.  Friends is closed for two weeks, time to put things together, but wonder if knowing I will have time free for the next two weeks has brought things to a stop. It doesn't help that Friends musical is (of course) the weekend of the reunion.
Well, let's figure it out......

very busy day...

yesterday, as I worked a full day, then had two tutoring sessions in the library at harlem. Very fulfilling, though, really got great energy from the kids at Friends, then two nice sessions with my two tutorees.
Going into the vacation feeling pretty together about things, will return to Friends tomorrow, if no work, at least to pick up my check. Now i wait for my IRS refund. Wish it would hurry up, so I can start making plans for the reunion. Last night after tutoring, returned to uws and had a large meal at the neighborhood Chinese restaurant---kind of expensive for cityboy, but felt I owed it to myself. Then home and asleep very quickly--did not wake up until around 1A.M.
Today is freezing, and totally opened. So not sure what I will do. Lots of options, but would like to keep warm.Will finish Amy Sohn's novel, (a guilty pleasure, but I really like the way she creates situations) and have just found a book about minor league baseball, written by John Feinstein, which I would like to begin. After that....

beautiful day.....

not so bad to be without work. In library, having just completed my current unemployment application--no phone calls this time, that is good. Just received word about two slots for AP proctoring at Friends in May, not the ones that I wanted, but had no problem accepting those...yesterday went to the concert at Friends, so a lot of people I knew, everyone very friendly, so why do I feel suspicious? who knows, maybe it is just the "two day" slump. Have a feeling that most teachers will be in this week, since it is the last week before the break. Still, if i get no work would be the first year since, I think, 05, that there hasn't been some work for me during the final week before spring break. However,we know that things are different this year---teacher work force is much "healthier", determined not to take days off.
Yesterday, a terrific tutoring session with Alem, we get along really well, interesting, this is the first time that I have tutored her without working at Friends in many weeks. Physically and emotional this makes quite a difference, usually kind of fatigued when I arrive at the apartment---also, yesterday was much warmer; I don't think that any thing would have really been different, but when my body is in a much less fatigued place, able to enjoy the relationship a little more. See how it develops.
Today, a beautiful day, totally free, will probably take Amy Sohn's book with me to Brooklyn, seems like a great day to visit there---may see John Garfield movie at BAM, seems like an interesting idea, after that, maybe some bars, maybe one of the bars in my beer book---some in Bed-Stuy and Myrtle avenue are near enough to BAM...anyway, we will see.....

Monday morning.....

first day off unemployment, so naturally cannot get into unemployment web site. Will have to try again, probably tomorrow. No work today, first Monday in about six weeks I have not been hired---still figure myself in good financial condition, have gotten through the worst of the problems, now only need to wait for tax return.
Saturday night, went to Dixon Place, saw Hobo Grunt Cycle, virulently anti-war, theatrical, a bit overwrought, but some remarkable puppet images that I don't really get to see. Glad I went, apparently a lot of Brooklyn for Peace members were there, spoke to one of them---very determined group---strange to see so many older people at Dixon Place, which usually attracts a younger group. Upstairs a group was doing a volunteer Julius Caesar reading (I kid you not) and coming upstairs after the rigors of Augustine's vision, watching the smiling and non suspecting open faces of the Julius Caesar participants was quite a contrast.
Yesterday, made the "usual" rounds, had a very good talk with Rob from Baltimore about human behavior and revealed that bizarre and telling dream to him that I had a few weeks ago. Nice day, colder in the evening, but that did not prevent me from walking around Greenpoint in the early evening, checking out bars.
LIke the one on Franklin near the bookstore, opposite side of the street  but did not go in.
Since there is no work today, it will be very easy to attend concert at VIneyard this early evening. After that......? Many choices, too numerous to go into now...

made a decision....

to see Hobo Grunt cycle at Dixon Place tonight, thus throwing away the possibility of seeing Prince Igor (last performance) Why? Well, sometimes I know people who go to Dixon Place, also this creates a free evening, which takes a little bit of the pressure off me financially, but not sure really why.....since it begins at 7, gives me a little room to negotiate when it is over, assuming I am not too tired. Right now, I am, probably should break from the computer, read a little have some coffee, and consider my options before the play. Will let you know.....

strange and.....

beautiful day---only one tutoring session today, exhausted from yesterday's marathon at Friends, then off to tutor at library on 145 street. Really nice new student, Andrea, needs a lot of input, seems far behind fourth grade work, but seems to have the ability to make it up. Will demand much more ingenuity on my part then "normal" tutorees.
Rest of day, not sure---possible Prince Igor, if standing room places are available, and if I feel I have the strength to stand, if not, well only about five million other options, including going to Brooklyn and finally being able to wander around. But is that what you want..cityboy. With daylight savings time coming quickly tomorrow, wonder if I see Igor and get very little sleep (it is over around 11:45) if I will be able to do anything tomorrow. Simply don't know, anyway, I have my beer book with me, so perhaps it is off to Greenpoint of Bushwick to check out one of two new places.
Cynthia Hopkins, Thursday evening, so fascinating things in her piece, a little indulgent, she covers a lot of ground that she has previously covered, yet the good moments are really stunning. Interesting how she chose Beethoven's end of life vision to end the piece. Friday morning, before work, found myself thinking about participating in one of her workshops about creating a piece based somewhat on life experiences and feelings, even though I don't think I would want to perform it more than once, (if that much, yet the idea of
putting memories and songs together with another group of people is very interesting to me). Possibly do a workshop of same in the future.
Not much else, still trying to figure out what to do next.....

so it...

came to pass that I would work Friday,---great! is all I can say---strange how feelings change after a job is offered and accepted than before. Before feeling wide open, a sense of anything today is possible, after feeling very pleased but slightly cramped---since tomorrow will be a heavy day, so some rest before showing up (in other words a good night's sleep) should be desired.
Yesterday, starving after second tutoring session, went to Two Boots on Broadway and grabbed a slice with a lot on it---what to do after that....? Decided to go to Harlem Public, stayed there for about two hours, had two beers (light) a lot of popcorn---I like the place, though no real contact yesterday-still, slept better tonight, I think because at least I challenged myself to go somewhere that seemed interesting. Should feel better when I try the bars that I have the coupons for in Brooklyn, which could start soon. Always the conflict between unknown bars, that is bars where no one knows you, and known bars, which are good ways of keeping i touch with friends, but some times get to familiar. But should go more to South Fourth, simply have not been there much because of the weather--have to check in soon.
Tonight, Cindy Hopkins' piece at NY Live Arts--should be interesting, then work tomorrow....

somewhat exhausted....

after two days of work at Friends, yesterday particularly long, but fulfilling, 5 out of 8 periods. Not much I can do but go home and sleep. That's also probably because I go all out, never stopping or resting during the day. Anyway, today is off, my body could use the rest.
Feeling langorous, have two tutoring sessions this afternoon, not much before then....must get to NY Public Library to see info regarding original Raisin in the Sun production. Why is the 42nd street library so hard to get to---right in the middle of everything, but maybe that is the problem. Overwhelmed by deja vu? Perhaps.
Adequate weekend, saw Will Eno's play on Saturday evening; what a place the Signature Center is! How did they go from the small off off Broadway theater they began in in 1991, to this enormous space in 20 years? And how has a hard scrabble movement like off off in the seventies, turned into the ten or eleven not for profits that now charge high prices and have many financial people on their boards? Is it really about art or the growth of wealth? Someone should write a book about that---the evolution of off off Broadway in the last forty, or maybe even fifty years. A great story!
Anyway, time to get back to the mundane. Not sure what will follow the tutoring, leaving it open, not sure about how I will feel when the two sessions are over. Another Chereau movie...? Possibly, though the one on sunday evening was a bit harsh and disappointing. Well, it is one possibility.....

is the tide....

turning, two good tutoring sessions today, at least one new student added, and "definite" (assuming the coming snowstorm does not get in the way) work for Tuesday, Monday as well, if we defeat the snowstorm.
Possibly able to relax a little financially because of all this. Yesterday a strange day at the school, only periods one and eight, due to a mix up, but will get payed for a full day---eyes very tired from too much computer logging (at least that is what I think) had a nice piece of chocolate cake after lunch, may have destroyed my stomach for the rest of the day. Went home, went right to sleep, woke up about 11 P.M. got through the night and began the tutoring.
Thursday, went to see the Doll's House at BAM, found it vacuous, then in the morning read Brantley's rave review---is he out of his mind...? Times loves to buff up British productions, do they want to encourage other groups to come to BAM ( not a bad idea) or do they just want to assert the primacy of the British stage?
Scene between Dr. Rank and Nora is horrifying---by that I mean bad.
Anyway, tonight will go to Signature---still tired from yesterday---tomorrow will wait out the storm, maybe a movie (should see some Chereau)  and try to catch up at Cobra in the afternoon, no Oscar watching (I hope) maybe movie at Lincoln Center tomorrow evening, depending on how I feel. That is all for now....