Doll's House tonight.....

should be looking forward to it, not that I am not, but see it more as another moment to "get through'. Why?
Not sure, don't like to overload myself with things to do, prefer to improvise, but....sometimes one must do things in advance. No work today, and have generally stayed away from tutoring (havn't called any possible tutorees). Don't want to experience a movie prior to the play, too much overload, too passive. After this, three straight days at Friends, which should be good.
Yesterday, a nice tutoring session with Tamia, then waited until 9 to see The Standbys at the Quad. Glad I went, really enjoyed it---a good break from FURIE energy and other energy. Did not stay around after discussion, did not want to "schmooze' with the director or one of the subjects--why? I don't know, maybe felt that I really had very little to say to them, even though I understood what the movie was about.
Woke up today, feeling very tired, but got a haircut, good, I think I look much better at this moment.
Anyway, on to the rest of the day...and finally to Brooklyn....

three days....

full of excitement, now very tired as I sit in the library, first non-work day in four days....seem to have the Friday and next two days (Monday and Tuesday) sown up. have to find Jesus's book for him'can't find it in current library, have to figure out where.
Sunday----went out to Queens College to see Freedom High, second act sags a little, but otherwise, a major play, shame that not for profits shy away from it--really a comment about our times--did some wondering around Queens, a little strange, almost got lost, missed a sense of direction, but came out okay.
Monday, subbing for Jamie and lesson with Alem, then exhaustion.
Yesterday, half day for Monica, two different pizza slices which almost destroyed my stomach, then off to meeting at FURIE,first annoyed that I went, then felt that I made a contribution, a very intense group, wonder how much I can contribute to them, but have to ask the question: is work for them more important
than my "theater-movie" experiences.
Very tired this morning, but would have gone to Friends if called, will tutor Tamia this afternoon, hair is a mess---need a haircut, but when...maybe the movie about standbys this evening, only real chance, so many options, not a lot of time, should see a Chereau film, at least one...than's all.....

a little...

hassled, today, having to go to library to do science work for Miguel, nevertheless, just finished it, will return to coffee cart soon to pick up my fee (10.00)----nice day today. Will see project at Target Margin, not sure of afternoon, want to go out to Brooklyn to see if I can find the place I bought the sensor blades for a very cheap price (no kidding), if I have the strength, am tired from yesterday's experience at Friends.
It seems like the better the day is at Friends, the crazier the night becomes. Much too tired to do anything, but the day was really good---left feeling really wanted, but how much work...? That is the question.
Last night, the usual visions, discussions (with self) berations (is that a word) and what have you while I wait for the day to arrive. Weird, nightmarish visions--well not exactly, but harsh "compromises" that I have made (or so I think).
Return to today, muscles seem weaker from exertion yesterday, I was virtually all over the premises.
Tomorrow will attend Adam's play at Queens, should be meaningful, but I doubt any future for the play, which is a shame, it is really very good. Not much else, will probably  listen to some of Werther, see what happens later.....

so here we are......

in library near Columbia, shoes are falling apart, no work today, but tomorrow will be testing for Kristen, apartment being cleaned today, former roommate decides not to go to alumni reunion ceremonies, but I will, no matter.
Just bought to pairs of dungarees at Harlem Old Navy, a little understaffed. last night, fell asleep early, after two tutoring sessions, (one very long, with kyla) and then woke at about 1A.M. Could not sleep for about two hours, of course, ran through the whole "dilemmas of my life' in my head; nice if I lived near a friendly bar like south fourth, but of course I don't. Also, I am usually full before I go to bed, so having a beer late at night doesn't really feel very good in my stomach, still, wonder when it gets warmer, whether at some moment I will leave my apartment around 1, get on the subway, and find a bar either in Brooklyn or Manhattan to hang out in. That is a lot of traveling to do late at night, but...well, you get the point.
Not clear about the rest of the day, probably will go up to 155th street while apartment is being cleaned, and have that great coffee, and then buy a new pair of shoes and put these shoes, that have worked long and hard during the many storms we have had, out of their misery.  tonight, might head to Abrons Arts to see the yiddish theater exercises at Target Margin...well, we'll see,,,

exceptional walk...

yesterday., beginning at Fulton and Nostrand, then to Franklin, back to Fulton and Nostrand, south on Nostrand (which looked pretty grimy) to Eastern Parkway, then and I don't usually do this, continuing South on Nostrand through and past Empire Boulevard. Noticed that on the other side of Eastern Parkway the feel is more residential, and incredible amount of apartment houses, finally made a right on Lefferts Aven, proceeded to blocks then up to East New York Avenue, past my cousin Matt's apartment house ( did not check him out) and then over to Kingston where, after walking two blocks north, finally got the bus, which I took through Crown Heights and Bed-Stuy to Broadway, where I got off and got the train back to Manhattan. How vast Brooklyn is! Endless, Endless apartment houses, when did all of it change, when will I meet someone who can tell me the whole story...? Soon we will be the last of our kind who lived at a time when the whole neighborhood of Flatbush was all white. But not too soon. Pondered what it would be like to inhabit an apartment in that neighborhood at this point.
Afterwards, returned to Manhattan, walked to the center, got a ticket for Felony, part of the Film Comment series at Walter Reade. Very strong but cold, cold movie. Beautifully photographed, shots of faces, remarkable. Took train up to Ollie's in the Columbia part of Broadway, had a great soup and chicken meal, really filled me up.
Today, a little faster, will probably attend FURIE meeting and see what is going on there.

Saturday at the...

library at Lincoln Center. Three day weekend, no work until Wednesday, possibly.
Just finished a two hour tutoring session with Kyla---all math, lots of hard work---packets these kids get
are overloaded with sometimes extraneous work. But made more than I expected, which is good.
Bones ache--probably from exertion from yesterday---a big day at Friends and then remained until the basketball game. By the time I left, was very tired, but felt like I really worked. Surprised to see Eric B, one of the class of 09, whom I felt very close to, at the basketball game. Good conversation with him, happy that he is working in Pro Basketball.
Otherwise, will wait until tonight to see Zach's play (must find out address, while we are at it), tomorrow, though it will be cold, will do my visiting, maybe a movie in the evening, who knows...? Monday, all free, which could mean anything---might be a good time to see Prince Igor, and get it out of the way (hate to say it like that, but there is so much going on, have to look at it like that somewhat).
Time to get back to the rest of the world, see what the future brings....

library, a few....

hours later--I assume Kristen has gotten off okay, just wanted to make a statement about Baltimore. With a little time on my hands, went to googlemaps, and looked at several streets in northwest Baltimore. That was the way the Jewish kids who became my friends at Hopkins referred to the area where they lived. In a moment I could feel it all again---the excitement, the sense that on those very streets, I might find someone to
care about. As I look, time disappearsI am seventeen again, a freshman at Hopkins and I still hunger for some seventeen or eighteen year old senior at
Forest Park, or Western, to be involved with.  The memories, the feelings are so real. At times feel assaulted by memories---as I did today, when I remember something Joan said to me in April of 65. Seemed like I could actually hear her voice saying it. These moments usually happen when I am alone. Not much more to say about it.

kind of.....

frazzled--wondering if Kristen and her group will get off okay---lots of organizing to do tomorrow morning, also a class for Kerry---how much exhaustion is possible? Yesterday, thinking no work, too a late shower and was surprised when the phone rang at 7:55, with an assignment in the middle school. Rushed to get set and leave the house, then spent the day at Friends (sixth grade---a world unto itself), then went to Harlem Library to tutor Micheala and Tamia. By 6:30 it was over and I was exhausted. Went home and pretty soon slept---usual mid evening wake up---hoped that the school would not be closed because the schedule that I had for today, was, by all comparisons, easy, but got the word around 6, that of course Friends would be closed for the day. So tomorrow I am back---assuming Kristen and her group get off, with a pretty heavy schedule. Now only free periods 3,4, and part of 6. Oh yeah, have to run to bank...did you forget, cityboy..?
Not sure about the rest of today, very limited mobility because of snow, good day to see a movie, but not sure which one. Possibly "last of the unjust" perfect time to see a movie about a kapo from the concentration camps. Tomorrow some interesting ones come out, but of course that is tomorrow. Still, should be enough around to entertain me. Well, on to the next moment....

what's new.....

yesterday worked at Friends and tutored--busy and exhaustive day..came home directly and by 7:00 was out, woke up around 1 A.M. next two hours spent considering things, some major dreams in between, that I don't remember now, waking up and thinking that I was at a point in life similar to Pippin (the character, not the play) and perhaps ready to make the big plunge. Of course I am a lot older than he, but does that matter..? Decent amount of subbing scheduled for the week, but the storm enters on Thursday, and that
could mean some disruption.
Today, went to bank, then library (here) then to Sybil's reading at NYTW, and finally, (yes, finally) to
BRIC to see my old friend Layla perform. Think that she will be surprised to see me, anyway, should be fun, after that..we it is cold, but in Brooklyn, anything is possible....

tired body....

feeling lethargic---so it is not so terrible that Kyla's lesson was canceled. Still, kind of short notice, expecially since it is because she is in an ice skating festival, or something---she really needs the work. Oh well, just some more pressure on cityboy to keep to the task of watching his budget. But since tonight is already paid for, and since tomorrow is kind of an "easy" day with visits to my haunts in Brooklyn, and listening to Ron Singer and friends at the Sidewalk cafe, keeping budget in line should not be a major challenge.
Yesterday, after basketball game, was tired, but could not accept simply going home again. Went to see
Afternoon of a Faun, the documentary about Tanaquil LeClerc---the amazing ballerina who was stricken by polio at age 27. For me, it was an unforgettable experience. Totally moved by her plight, and of course, since I started my passion for Balanchine about eleven years after she was stricken, was familiar with repertory, steps, dancers, ballets, etc. Took tremendous courage for her to go on.. Jacques D"Amboise is at his best in describing her and her relationship to Balanchine and the ballets. His description of the final moments of La Valse, is really explosive.  Really a sort of amazing experience for me.
Woke up this morning, feeling tired, tested my own limbs, which are okay. Sort of expected the pace of the day to be defined by waiting for Kyla, but now that has changed. Probably will return to house to listen to Russalka, at least some of it, then maybe visit Austen (have not visited her for a while) at Cobra, and then back to Abrons Arts Center for the Pig Iron Twelfth Night. Just found out there is a party after that, seems that I may have stumbled into something nice---will be good to see Kristen, and probably will be others from the many theater companies that I hang with, who will be there. This will be the only Twelfth Night that I will see this year. Would have liked to visit South Fourth this afternoon to schmooze with Merlyn, but that probably won't happen. Just remembered that I have to check some dates for next week...move on....

Is cityboy....

out of the woods...? Just got three sub offers at Friends--amazing! Hope they will all be confirmed. Other than that.....just made a reservation for the Twelfth Night at Abrons Arts---not the one on Broadway. Went down to Belasco this morning a little after 10---thought I might get a standing room---no luck at all. So very little options are left to me. thought it would make sense to see the English twelfth night first---but that won't happen now.
Yesterday afternoon saw middle school Oddyssey---Steve B continues to do good work. Very dynamic performances from the middle schoolers, and at times I was very moved. Good day at Friends, yesterday, coming to accept that perhaps there are simply less absences than in previous years---however the last two
e-mails are a good sign---things might be picking up.
Movies that interest me at this point; Tanaquil's movie----Brook's movie, and The Last of the Unjust.
Maybe even Blue is the Warmest color. Now don't go on a spending spree, cityboy, just because it seems like there is more work shaping up. Also of interest is the Chereau retrospective, I have never seen any of his films---might be fun to check one or two out.
Right now, feeling a bit euphoric about work possibilities---will go to basketball game this evening...then........

feeling better....

just had Jennifer M check in, so two periods, fifth and seventh are on tomorrow. Chances of getting a third are slim, but I will try. Otherwise, spent last night in the apartment after going to the basketball game at Friends, some good reading done. Today, surprised that I was not called, but have a tutoring session with Ellie, so that makes some of it up. Some thinking about the reunion which is in about eight weeks, but still havn't figured out how I will get there. Looking forward to it, in some quirky way...nothing much else to report, tonight, will probably see a movie, (perhaps bio of Tanaquil), but maybe go to Bushwick starr...or maybe....

feeling cranky...

as I write this---suppose I am angry that a stock that I sold is doing well. Good day at Friends yesterday, plus a nice tutoring session with Alem (went there in the snow) Working Thursday and the Thursday after that....tomorrow my hunch is that Friends will close down for the snow.
Reading the Fosse bio, it is fast and furious, makes you feel that he never stopped---a bundle of energy that had to be fulfilled at all time. Trying to understand the difference between that type of personality and mine. I can move back, look at things. These guys (say Fosse and Robbins) needed to be important all the time---it was a mania to them-----otherwise felt useless.
Rest of the day is uncertain----will go to basketball game this afternoon. Still a lot of snow on the ground, hard to get around. May miss tutoring session tomorrow because of too much snow. Have to find a time to see 12th Night, before it closes, so that I can see Kristen's version at Abrons Arts in perspective. That's all for now....

exhilirated by....

a terrific day at Friends, and then a good time at the basketball game at Lemann Prep. (Headmaster friendly).
Also got work for Monday (at least in the afternoon---one of the classes has some of my favorite juniors in it) and so things are looking up. Still wondering what the future has in store, how much work will be truly available to me in the near future, and how to handle it, but definitely felt up from yesterday.
Today I tutor Kyla around 1, then tonight will go to see Tyson-Ali at 3-D center. Still trying to figure out how to fit in Zach's play (Organic Shrapnel), as well as others. Tomorrow: you know the day---practically has become a national holiday in NYC. Will check out La Flaca, but figure that I will do most of my watching at South Fourth. Maybe in the afternoon will check out the movie by Simon Brook about his father, Peter, in rehearsal.
Right now feeling pretty satisfied----and tired---let's get through the day....