positively.....

amazed by all the choices tonight----probably will simply see the movie at Reade, and see what I feel after that. God it has become cold! Spent the morning and early afternoon at Brooklyn Library---always like it there---brooklyn, still so different, still so evocative to me and fascinating; many ideas going through my head. Walked, even in this weather (well, it has gotten colder recently) from Library to BAM; stopped off at Jimmy's on Washington Avenue for a nice tuna fish sandwich---like it there, though a little crowded at first, and the clientele now is a tribute to the gentrification of the neighborhood. Would love to ask the proprietor, who seems like a friendly person, to describe what I might see if I were to walk in maybe fifteen years ago (early 94, seems like yesterday)---probably totally different clientele.
Reading short stories, that is all that I seem to handle at this moment; actually read a really good one by Danielle Evans; should get number of South Fourth so that I can call Patrick today and say I am not going to be there....probably too cold.......

since my first post....

is now totally lost in cyber space, I will try to reinvent it. Nice talk with Nancy at South Fourth last night---first night out in five days---see how important it is to get out, Bob! Got a job at a school I desired (I guess that is the right way to put it) this morning, only to have the computer tell me it was not available when I accepted it.....odd? Weekend abounds in choices (pre- Sunday afternoon, ofcourse) many plays, operas, movies, etc. should be helped by thef fact that my unmeployment from November has finally come through, though still feeling a bit austere about money choices. Does all this make sense......would love to have a nice sub job at a (preferably) elementary school tomorrow, if Friends does not call. This afternooon, it will be time to tutor chelsea, then off to............

restless.....

well, I was this moring---surprised that I was not called by Friends; checked out the few schools that called me on insideschools, only one of them was good---what to do, want to earn some money this week---this keeps me restless, as I try to parcel out the rest of my priorities. Today, maybe Cherry Orchard, if I can see it cheap---possibly, if not a movie, must go out tonight--four straight days in---quite a lot for me. Weekend...? who is to say...Updike's death, what does it evoke in me, really enjoyed his short stories, may go back to them now, atleast one.....read them the summer of 88, right after the death of my mother---remember then.....? facebook, see old names from the past, what does that mean....? Stories to tell.....we'll see.......

second day no.....

work---a little restless, but, as I suspected, no work at Friends yet this week. Today got two calls from schools in Ridgewood that are supposed to be quite good---yet didn't take it---how long will I put this off? Sort of like dating, I tell myself, when you are doing well with one woman, but she doesn't need you every day, how do you relate to the newness of another. In this case, the woman is Friends. Anyway, nice session with Chelsea yesterday, will return today, then....maybe trek to brooklyn to see Cherry orchard, with the snow coming, should not be that crowded, or so I tell myself. Have stayed in last three days, very cold, time to move around...? Sorry that I will miss South fourth's superbowl party, but promised Alvin, and I will go there. Snow tomorrow, but also no tutoring, so it should be easier for me to accept work, or so I tell myself. We will see........

got Lanessa's e-mail...

about joining facebook and have gone through a flurry of motions to join, and not stay on the old facebook account that was opened and that I thought I had closed. Anyway, the new one, just another communication vehicle...how many of them are there....how many of them are needed...is there no privacy at all....I can see that one could simply live one's life there.
Three days at Friends after all---pretty good...except for that crazay day on Thursday,that will be remedied, saw Architecting last night, then hung out with Frank and Libby, lots of fun, good conversation, will probably go to the documentary and discussion tonight, though I probably would really enjoy the Philharmonic, still after tutoring Martha in the Bronx, should show my political interest by attending this documentary and discussion at Chrystie Street---still a little shook up over the facebook incident---but hope all will be well now........tomorrow, maybe South Fourth

Monday....

still off, no tutoring---no subbing yet at Friends for tomorrow, hope that I am called, would like to participate, probably lots of work at DOE, but not sure that I want to do it. Just have to let it happen. Finished Epilogue, the book by Anne Roiphe, very evocative at moments, other times, very repetitive and self-sorrying-still she captures the sad essence of a person being cut off from routine, lifestyle and attention that she had for the past 38 years. Political aspect.....? Well, that is something different.
Yesterday, finally after a couple of really tired hours, got myself up to go to South Fourth---glad I did, enjoyed watching the game with Chris, it was quiet but I felt very much at home there. A good choice, better than a movie---left, the snow was falling, but there was a beautiful sense of things, the cold had been removed, it was really easy to walk around, a nice calm on the south side of Williamsburg. Took J train, then F then 2 back home,not difficult at all, even if kind of late. Stopped in to see Leila at Bembe; she was very sweet, but could not stay because it was really crowded and I did not want to drink anything. Wow! You would think with the recession, or whatever, business would be slow, especially on a snowy night, but Bembe was full.
Tonight, probably back to South Fourth, then return......

what now.....

Sunday morning, not much energy---could not decide what to do,,,so I am here in the computer shop, doing my blog. Yesterday-----interesting Starbucks on 145 street and Bradhurst Ave.---a mixture of homeboys, white intellects, hispanic families, very mixed. Under the new "luxury" building that covers all of 145 street between Bradhurst and Eighth Avenue. Think I may go visit again today---or perhaps not-----yesterday, visited Bronx Museum---short trip, then took Concourse Bus north on Concourse---still looks pretty grim around there---interesting---no coffee places (not even a Dunkin Donuts) until Fordham Road----did not check the large commerical streets that interesect with the Concourse, there must be some there...still, so barren...later saw Neal's play, knew from the beginning that it would be ragged---so many male on male variations----fanciful but how much can one take. Tired of playwrights who are indulged by their directors, et. al. Reading Anne Roiphe's memoir, actually finished it---some very poignant passages about functioning as one, after a death after a long and successful marriage. However other passages extremely self-indulgent. And the dating online-----well, I suppose she has to, while you have people and things coming at you at almost all times. Don't feel much like a play today, and as for a movie----simply can't get excited about going, still lots of things to do next week---would like to see Cherry Orchard sometime soon. Will probably end up at South Fourth, which I think is important today---have not been there for about a week, because of work and the cold....need to check in....still have not returned to Annie at Heights since that nice Friday evening during Christmas vacation. Thought of E.L. Doctorow yesterday, as the bus in the Bronx crossed the jagged beginning of Weeks Avenue, as it intersected with the Concourse---sometimes I wish I could just get in a bus and travel through the borough....(why can't you?) Anyway, reference is to Danny in Doctorow's book, The Book of Daniel, which is about growing up communist in the Bronx in the thirties and forties. Anyway, let's stop now---later!

last night at the....

ballet-----can't say I enjoyed Coppelia, it has many static moments---but was able to see the ballet as a compilation of Balanchine's vision of dance, up to that point. He still had some strong ballets in him: Union Jack; Chaconne, Tziganne, Vienna Waltzes and Capriccio Espagnole, but the steps in Coppelia, really seem to sum up what he had done up to then. Well, if a bit too impersonally, danced. Enjoyed being in State (not Koch) theater; certainly it was useful to have it to go to on a cold Friday evening. Amazingly, the theater was more than three quarters filled, on this, the coldest night of this or any (possible) year.
Other than that, a good week at Friends, now on to Bronx Museum of the Arts, then......

at Bath Beach....

amazing what a day of subbing and challenges at 163 does for my ego. A day later am totally exhuasted. After the day at 163, went to Friends for a basketball game. Yet there is something about the chemistry and relationships and at 163 that makes me feel very fulfilled. Hope to continue----could be a nice antidote to Friends, once a week, say. But still no awareness how often they will call me. Also more relaxed financially, after doing the work.
What else: Glad I saw Spring Awakening on Wednesday----really changed a lot, many good discussions will come from it---will see probably two plays today, amish project at Cherry Lane, finally will see it and not take tickets for it, and probably will go to La Femme at Coil festival at 10. Don't know how the snow will effect plans, would rather go to La Femme on another day, but only two other options are on tutoring days, and I could be very tired if I sub as well. So there you have it---my body aches! but I think it was worth it.

difficult day....

surprisingly worked two days at Friends, but here it is my first day off, and I am feeling a little down. Really tired from the trip to the Bronx for the last two days, but feeling a little stronger now. Spring Awakening, tonight, should be fun...havn't seen it in a while---what else---well can't decide whether to comment on Company or not---sometimes the whole musical comedy thing seems so trivial---other times valuable, can't make up my mind---may pick up some scripts today from Paula---sorry to be so formalistic---it is bothersome switching between arts and politics---sometimes too much infomration---well, we'll see.

so here I....

Saturday morning in the lincoln center library-----rest of the day spent watching football at South Fourth? Place has definetely become a haven for me---should be greatful...had a nice time for a short time at Bembe yesterday evening after South Fourth, lots of energy---a nice talk with the wife of one of the dj's, then a horrendous subway ride back to manhattan, the urge to pea was intense, hasn't happened like that in a while, simply one beer...? proud of myself for going to a new place, anyway, when the train seemed to stop outside of 1st avenue, like forever, wondered if I was going to make it----I did, found restroom on seventeenth and third, and then needed to go urgently again; was able to slip in to an Appleby's on 50 street, good to remember, the woman at the door was incredibly nice---give her a lot of credit. what about today...? still on a money kick, so will try not to see anything this afternoon----anything else---went to party at Ron and Liz' on Thursday--spent a long time talking to Laura Saenger about Friends and a few other things----good conversatsion, made the time go fast, afterwards talked a while with Liz and Ron---I really enjoyed that; many memories about the past and my old classmate Susan Mann, who lived in the same building that Liz did when she was little. Yes, Sue was always kind of fascinating to me---attracted to her, even if Judy M., who I craved when a senior in high school (that's right, craved) was her best friend. The two of them were always together. For a boy from the Bronx, they, and a few others, but mostly they, were certainly my "green light at the end of the dock". Where are they now...? Sue married Mathew Chamlin (who I never met) probably still lives in Westchester, Judy married a guy who lived in Canada, reintroduced herself to me once in spring 1979---did not remember my "hunger" for her, was very friendly, while I was trying to put together my hunger from the past, with my notations from the present. She looked kind of pale, wondered if she or Sue would come to reunion of 2001, but they didn't---image of Sue and Eddie Bernstein, her boy friend at Science, boy was I what...jealous, anyway the image remains...let's see what happens for ther rest of the day......